Aries and Gemini Intensity - how to make it work for both of us?
New member here, glad to be a part of the forum. Never really gave much more than a casual glance at astrology, but as I've gotten older, and met such a diverse group of people, I have started to believe more and more that there is something to it all. I love learning new things, and broadening my experiences, so hoping to learn a lot from those seasoned members here
My specific situation is this: I'm a Gemini Male, she's an Aries Female. If you need the numerical details let me know! We've known each other for about 5.5 years now. Started off purely sexual, though casual. Things remained that way for a while, till I just stopped hearing from her. Came to find out she was in a tough period in her life, but I guess because of the casual nature of our relationship, didn't tell me. I found out about it through mutual acquaintences, and chose to reach out, extend my hand, and offer my ear, and friendship, if she needed it. Since that time, we've become closer and closer. What started casually has evolved into a very deep friendship, with strong feelings on both sides. We're both attractive, and used to getting what we want through a combination of hard work and charm. We've danced around the relationship issue many times in the last couple of years. While she won't admit it to me, I guess to protect my feelings, she's been on again, off again with just the wrong kind of person (abusive). I've been on again, off again with someone very important to me, who I have a long history with, but like my Aries friend, I don't talk about it with her. My ex lives out of state, so it's easier to be out of sight, out of mind and we rarely see each other (maybe once or twice a year for a few days at a time). I've not told my ex about my Aries, because, I guess I've kept my options open. If she gave me the green light today, I would tell my ex, and go all in. I've had that conversation with my Aries, and she's preferred to just take things slowly. I've respected that, and have dealt with it as best I can. I guess I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic, in that I believe the good guy can win the girl in the end.
She's one of the most dynamic, intelligent people I know. She's been through a very rough, drama filled existance. But she always looks at the other side of the coin, and has worked hard to be a better person. She's changed in so many positive ways in the time I've known her, and I am so proud of her for striving for more. She's always been independant, and due to her circumstances, is now dependant on me financially. Many would choose to turn their back on this, but I've tried to be a different kind of friend to her. While I do want her, and want us to be together, I understand everyone has to be on the same page for that to work in the long term. And I know that she needs to feel 100% comfortable in order to really let go and trust 100%.
Like any 2 individuals, we both have good and bad characteristics. I can share those as needed.
I know I am unlike anyone she's ever been involved with, or probably thought about being involved with before. We come from different places, different types of upbringings, and, in so many ways are opposites of one another. At the same time, we just sorta get one another, and have so much in common. For all her typical Aries bravado, I see her, deep down, as scared about so many things. I see it manifest itself in many ways. I speak to some of her family from time to time, and they too know that I'm so different from those she's been involved with in the past. They also say they've never heard her talk about anyone the way she's talked about me. But despite this, it just hasn't happened for us yet.
She gets so jealous over me talking to my ex, hanging out with other female friends, even though we're not a 'couple'. I get similarly frustrated that despite the abuse she went through, she still even talks to her ex in any way, as it's so opposite of the face she puts on (and reinforces the scared theory I have). Though unlike her, I've never confronted her about it face to face, and have always taken a 'let it be' attitude.
So, experts out there, what does it take for a sensitive, independant Gemini to woo the fiery, stubborn, diamond in the rough Aries? Are we destined to keep the viscous circle going of hot and cold behavior? Or is there something that can be done (on my side, her side, and both) to change that energy and focus it into something long lasting?
Appreciate any assistance or guidance! Any details you need as far as numerics, let me know
Last edited by lotusfan; 06-10-2012 at 10:01 PM.