Talking about eating disorders...

[akp124]

Hi!
I have noticed that lately I have been binge eating EVERY SINGLE DAY! I feel guilty and actually want to throw up the food I ate. I do throw it up. I feel so bad.

I can't help but wonder if this is the beginning of Bulimia?
And also, where on a birth chart would that be indicated, if it is?

[scorpittarian]

It can certainly develop into an eating disorder. Could you post your chart?

[akp124]

I do hope its not bulimia. I am very self conscious about my body. i am trying to lose weight, so when I eat, I feel guilty knowing that I'm eating while I'm trying to lose weight. I feel like I HAVE to throw up so that I don't feel so bad.

[scorpittarian]

Your ascendant's in Sagittarius, the foodaholic.
Jupiter, the lord of the ascendant, is in Cancer OPP Saturn. Saturn has a restrictive symbolism in astrology.
Saturn's also in the 1st.

Your 6H is in Taurus, another food loving sign.
Venus, the lord of your 6H, is stuck in the 12H.
Your 2H, i.e. your self-worth, is in Capricorn. It's lord, Saturn, conjuncts Neptune.

Moon, nourishment & emotions, squares Saturn & Jupiter.
Moon/Jupiter, Moon/Venus make one prone to emotional eating.
Moon/Saturn is all about restrictions & emotional control.

Chiron represents emotional wounding such as rejection & abandonment. Jupiter widely conjuncts Chiron in your chart.

Jupiter's making you binge. Saturn wants to restrict & control. Neptune perhaps contributes to avoidant behavior & feelings of unfulfillment, helplessness, isolation and loneliness that stem somewhere from early childhood trauma & would fuel any Eating disorder.

[Ixaee]

Your Moon is heavily afflicted and in bad aspect to Saturn, a very strong 'eating disorder' indicator..

[scorpittarian]

What I understood is that you've a poor self-image which maybe the result of accumulated criticisms that you collected from your childhood days. Your chart also speaks of rejection, abandonment & neglect. You were taught early to suppress your needs & wants. You possibly grew up a bit too fast. The Moon/Saturn aspect makes you susceptible to depression. Moon/Jupiter remedies depression by over-indulging in food. However, Moon is about nourishment & Saturn about restriction. Saturn opposes Jupiter from the 1H. Uranus aggravates the condition. All these lead to the yo-yo effect which we call Bulimia Nervosa. Venus is the universal significator of self worth & in your chart, is also the lord of the 6H. Being in the 12th, it can't really express itself. We get back to the same question : How much value do you place on yourself?

I suggest you consult a dietitian if it's weight loss that you're seeking. As an anorexia survivor, I know crash diets don't work long term. And their side effects leave you looking anything but attractive or fit. You might fall into a vicious cycle if you don't quit what you're doing as soon as possible. Laxatives are no solution to weight loss. They equal not eating anything. You might successfully lose about 10 pounds the first month. What happens next? everything slows down & you hit a plateau.

Once you start recovering, you'll most probably gain back all the weight(sometimes more).

[akp124]

My dad has always told me that I'm fat. Ever since I was little. My uncles and aunts have told me that I need to lose weight. I AM overweight. I'm 5'4" and 160lbs. But I don't look very fat.

I have always been self conscious about my looks. ALWAYS! I never felt pretty. Before I met my ex, nobody would tell me I was beautiful or pretty. And even when I was with him, he would I was just pretty, that he could find someone better looking than me. But this isn't about my ex. lol

How would I be able to rein this in?

[MissVenus]

My Ascendant is in Sagittarius, too, and I have been know to binge before.
Same thing, Saturn in the 1st house, only my Moon is unaspected, so it's that much difficult. :P
First binging, then feeling really guilty; and then repeat.

[scorpittarian]

With Saturn in the 1st, people possibly pass you for 145 or 150 lbs.
You also have Neptune in your 1H conj Saturn & a 12H Venus ---> Your self esteem is quite damaged. Neptune to the mix results in a perception of yourself which is different(worse?) from how other's perceive you.

You have a lot of good things in your chart.
Saturn in the 1st should have blessed you with a fine bone structure.
Neptune in the 1st first can give you a very innocent, feminine & ethereal look.
Moreover, you're a Libran & Libra is said to be the most attractive zodiac sign. I have never met an ugly Libran!

--> It's very important that you accept yourself the way you are. There's nothing you can really do. A nose job? shows. silicone breasts?fake. People generally get the impression that you're not happy with yourself.

--> "My ex said I was pretty...nobody else called me pretty or beautiful...".
Beauty is subjective. You find Brad Pitt hot, I find him wrinkled.
You shouldn't hand over the key to your emotions to others. Don't look outside yourself for validation. What these people say or think shouldn't matter. What matters is what you think of yourself.

--> "...that he could find someone better looking than me."
Be realistic. This ex can certainly find better looking girls. But if he really loved you, he wouldn't go around hunting for more beautiful chicks.
People only do to you what you allow them to. Because you are in control of yourself, you can keep from feeling negatively about yourself no matter what others say, but if you were exposed to verbal, physical, mental and/or emotional abuse, it may be more difficult to change the perception of oneself. In this case, surrounding yourself with those that constantly uplift your complete being is important. Walk away from those who have nothing but abuse to offer. However, don't confuse this with allowing others to define your life.

--> Find something that you love about yourself. I love my hands & wrists & flaunt them often. People compliment & this boosts my ego.

-->Weight loss will certainly improve your self-esteem but make it a long term goal. It should be a slow transition from the old you to a new you. EDs can leave you looking & feeling terrible. Beautiful is definitely not the word.

-->My only advise is that you stop eating junk food. I lost 16 pounds in 3 months that way. Weight loss wasn't on my mind so I never exercised or reduced my calorie intake. You can imagine your results if you add exercise & eat healthy. Adopt a plan that you'd love to stick to forever. Harness Saturn's energy to defeat temptation.

Learning to love yourself starts with making a conscious decision today, an intention to become happy and lead a fulfilled life.

[akp124]

Originally Posted by scorpittarian

With Saturn in the 1st, people possibly pass you for 145 or 150 lbs.
You also have Neptune in your 1H conj Saturn & a 12H Venus ---> Your self esteem is quite damaged. Neptune to the mix results in a perception of yourself which is different(worse?) from how other's perceive you.

You have a lot of good things in your chart.
Saturn in the 1st should have blessed you with a fine bone structure.
Neptune in the 1st first can give you a very innocent, feminine & ethereal look.
Moreover, you're a Libran & Libra is said to be the most attractive zodiac sign. I have never met an ugly Libran!

--> It's very important that you accept yourself the way you are.
Learning to love yourself starts with making a conscious decision today, an intention to become happy and lead a fulfilled life.

I have good cheek bones. I do look innocent most of the time, I guess.
I do try to accept myself. I was feeling very good about myself before I met my ex. Even though I was still feeling down about my looks, I was feeling more confident. I just let him get in my head. But its just so hard when my father is always telling me that I'm always going to be fat.

And MissVenus: Yes! Binge, feel guilty, rinse and repeat!

And Saturn in 1st is an indicator for binging? that's what I'm getting from this.

[chris10]

When transiting Saturn entered my 1st house inadequate eating and excessive exercising resulted in severe weight loss. I had always been into exercising in fear of gaining weight.
The result of me wanting to lose 6 extra pounds, led to a weight loss of 22 pounds in just a few weeks.
Luckily I snapped out of it quickly thanks to family and friends. I really don't know if I was bordering on anorexia nervosa or if I was in it already.
I don't know if tran Saturn in 1st had anything to do with this ...

[retinoid]

Originally Posted by chris10

When transiting Saturn entered my 1st house inadequate eating and excessive exercising resulted in severe weight loss. I had always been into exercising in fear of gaining weight.
The result of me wanting to lose 6 extra pounds, led to a weight loss of 22 pounds in just a few weeks.
Luckily I snapped out of it quickly thanks to family and friends. I really don't know if I was bordering on anorexia nervosa or if I was in it already.
I don't know if tran Saturn in 1st had anything to do with this ...

Transiting Jupiter has been in my 1st house since June and I cannot stop eating. I gained about 20lbs. I need some Saturn

[chris10]

Originally Posted by retinoid

Transiting Jupiter has been in my 1st house since June and I cannot stop eating. I gained about 20lbs. I need some Saturn

OK here's the deal, you give me transiting Jupiter in 1st and ... 2-3 lbs and I'll give you transiting saturn squar my natal venus

[!4C]

I absolutely love food. Dare I say, good food is better than sex. I would overeat if I had a choice. Cancer moon is my chart ruler. It doesn't help that jupiter rules my 6th and it is disposed to a cancer mars. However, I have saturn in the first, conjunct the ascendant, to offset this. I could overeat without gaining wait. These days my sensitive system forces me to keep the portions small.

Also, I have to fight saturn breaking my body down. A few times I quit my workout routine because I was too busy with work or other projects. After about 16 months I start to feel my muscles having a tendency to pull and my joints feel like they want to tear. This is in spite of having an active life. I have to guarantee a full body work out at least 3 times a week. I don't understand how some people can live a sedative life and live to 80. Having saturn in the first hasn't been all that great.

[chris10]

Originally Posted by !4C

I absolutely love food.

Me too. I'm guessing it's the Cancer Sun, Moon square Jupiter.
I think it's my Virgo ASC that freaks out if I gain a lb and mars in Aries pushes me on the treadmill

Originally Posted by !4C

Dare I say, good food is better than sex.

Hahahahaha

Originally Posted by !4C

... I have saturn in the first, conjunct the ascendant, to offset this. I could overeat without gaining wait.

Has Saturn in 1st natally ever caused you any eating disorders like the ones mentioned earlier in this thread?

Originally Posted by !4C

Having saturn in the first hasn't been all that great.

[!4C]

Originally Posted by chris10

Has Saturn in 1st natally ever caused you any eating disorders like the ones mentioned earlier in this thread?

Scarf 'n' barf? No, but it might be the source of one of my disorders. I have a rule, "NO FOOD GETS LEFT BEHIND." I hate to see good food go to waste, so I always clean up my serving. I don't know about other parts of the world, but here in the US there is tendency to serve twice as much an average person can eat. I think it is to justify the price, which is set based on traffic and target revenues. For this reason I don't like to go out much any more. I can't stand it when I see other people leave behind a half plate of food. It's like, "what the hell are you thinking, there are people starving all over the world." It should have been one of the ten commandments, "thou shaft not waste good food." Needless to say, my conservative saturn AC might have something to do with that. I'm no t sure what else it would be.

[chris10]

Originally Posted by !4C

... but it might be the source of one of my disorders. I have a rule, "NO FOOD GETS LEFT BEHIND."

That really doesn't seem like a disorder to me

Originally Posted by !4C

I hate to see good food go to waste, so I always clean up my serving. I don't know about other parts of the world, but here in the US there is tendency to serve twice as much an average person can eat. I think it is to justify the price, which is set based on traffic and target revenues. For this reason I don't like to go out much any more. I can't stand it when I see other people leave behind a half plate of food. It's like, "what the hell are you thinking, there are people starving all over the world." It should have been one of the ten commandments, "thou shaft not waste good food." Needless to say, my conservative saturn AC might have something to do with that. I'm not sure what else it would be.

I definitely agree with these views and I can’t help but wonder if angular Saturn in my chart has anything to do with this. My ex has Saturn on IC, and someone I sort of dated last year has Saturn on DESC. They both seemed to hold similar viewpoints on the matter