Psychic sponge for the feelings of others

[Brea]

I only just recently heard of the word Empath, an I completely relate. I cant breathe sometimes when I'm around people that are upset or anxious. My Body feels what that person is feeling (even if it comes and goes for the other person). I let alot of little stuff personally roll off me but when people get upset my energy holds on to it long after that person has gotten over what they were feeling so intensely at that moment. I get so resentful that they get to be free after the little spat they had and I'm still feeling it even though it wasn't my issue. Because I haven't learned how to separate my energy off from others. It's got me instinctually devaluing other peoples feelings by telling them not to feel that way, or they shouldn't feel that way because I'm so overwhelmed. I think maybe its the reason why I'm out of touch with my own feelings because I experience feelings as something almost traumatizing. It's really stressful because I'm fairly aware of myself (whats healthy, whats not), and I do exercises to reaffirm my personal boundaries. I do on and off breathing exercises. I once did conscious breathing exercises for 2 hours straight but as soon as I stop consciously breathing I go right back to my rapid shallow breathing again. Is there any energy work, any other exercises, stones, I could incorporate into what I'm trying to achieve? I'm tired of not being able to detach my feelings from the feelings of others when my mind agrees that I am not responsible for the feelings/realities of others.

Thank you for your time!

[Moog]

Originally Posted by Brea

I only just recently heard of the word Empath, an I completely relate. I cant breathe sometimes when I'm around people that are upset or anxious. Because I haven't learned how to separate my energy off from others it's got me instinctually devaluing other peoples feelings by telling them not to feel that way, or they shouldn't feel that way because I'm so overwhelmed I dont know what else to do. I think maybe its the reason why I'm out of touch with my own feelings because they're so overwhelming combined with the emotions around me. It's really stressful because I'm a fairly aware of myself (whats healthy, whats not), and I do exercises to reaffirm my personal boundaries. I once did conscious breathing exercises for 2 hours straight but as soon as I stop consciously breathing I go right back to my rapid shallow breathing again. Is there any energy work, any other exercises, stones, I could incorporate into what I'm trying to achieve? I'm tired of not being able to detach my feelings from the feelings of others when my mind agrees that I am not responsible for the feelings/realities of others.

Thank you for your time!

Hi Brea, I also have/have had similar issues.

I have also done similar (conscious breathing exercises), and have noticed that it's hard to turn into a habit. For me, it seems I just have to take stock of my body states at various time throughout the day, and consciously do whatever it takes to relax.

I am essentially just prone to disturbance (and my chart shows some interesting hallmarks), and I believe I need to consciously manage myself in a way that others can easily get by without.

I find that 15 minutes meditation (or even less) in the morning helps to establish a good groove that can often last throughout the day.

[♥♥♥]

energyremoved

[wintersprite1]

I feel your pain, ha ha empath humor!

When I was younger it was harder to shut out those other feelings. It has taken conscious sorting of where feelings are coming from and not to own those thrown at me as a manipulation or those just out there and my antenna absorbing. Then came along an epiphany. If I was able to absorb, I should just as well broadcast. In a preemptive strike, I learned engaging those around me in conversation (mostly letting them vent), giving smiles and sincere complements(that scarf is most beautiful with your eyes), and/or showing gratitude for those things taken for granted. It disarms the grumpys and malcontent feelings, and seems to make the more negative feelings less personal... you actually feel sympathy for that person.

Do you guys attribute it to any planetary placements? I want to say it is my Neptune/scorpio on my MC.... then think maybe it is the Cancer Moon sextile
Uranus and Pluto... or a 12th house Sun. Lots of options there, any of those type prominent in any of the empathic charts out there?

TK

[Moog]

I suspect this is a Moon thing.

Reading Brea's chart in the Vedic style would give moon in Aquarius (Saturn ruled signs, generally not good for the Moon) in the 8th house. Moon being ruler of the 1st and in an awkward position could perhaps compound the problem.

My own Moon is combust and afflicted by Saturn and Rahu (NN)

[lazarusx]

This was an issue for me when i was younger, because i would absorb the emotional energy from people around me and i had a problem distinguishing boundaries between myself and them. So this caused alot of discomfort and confusion.. i would also feel 'manipulated' by peoples emotional reactions towards me.

I'm not entirely sure of the process i went through but slowly i learnt how to detach myself from the emotions of others, i think i began in the direction that wintersprite mentioned where i started projecting positive energy whenever i felt that negativity arise from people. I would listen to what they were feeling but would focus on the positives of the scenario to take there mind off their own negativity.

I've become so detached in recent years that i can be completely unaffected by someone who is going through an emotional crisis. This is not to say i dont feel sympathy, i feel very deeply.. but i'm not identifying myself with their emotions. This puts you in the best position possible to sincerely help them because you are not personally involved.

[stainedBlue]

Usually it involves Moon, Neptune or Pluto in the water signs/houses. Brea has Moon in 8th, which would cover everything described in the OP. The only advice I can offer that I've found helpful is to 'know thyself.' It takes time, practice, and a lot of effort to learn how to distinguish the feelings, but it is very possible. Aspects to the planet/s in question will help determine the best way to go about handling the sensitivity.

[Brea]

I agree that its a moon thing. My biggest tyrant in this issue of mine is definitely my mother. My Mom is a very very emotional, moody cancer with a MAJOR temper. She's terrible! She gets pissed off at every smallest slight, and then I tell her something positive about the situation and it pisses her off more. It's kinda funny how easy it is for her immediate intensity (and then immediate relief of said feeling) to completely blow me away. I'll end up feeling the emotional intensity loooong past the several seconds she felt it. She'll ushually go into another fit once she realizes that I'm still feeling the after shocks because she's "already over it". I know that being around that as a child made me probably feel like I was the one she was angry at all the time (gotta love how children associate everything back to themselves.). My biggest issue is that I see emotions as a destructive force, and I have difficulty getting in touch with my feelings. I'm constantly in denial of my own feelings because it was the only way I knew how to avoid being overloaded. When ever I have dreams about water, instead of nice lakes and creeks, I dream of tsunamis.

It *****. D:

[MaeMae]

I have this condition.
I blame it on mermaids.
Sun square Neptune
Chiron conj. SN Pisces 8th opp. Pluto & NN
Venus Pisces
Progressed Sun Pisces
Progressed Merc Pisces
Moon ruler of 12th, square Pluto & NN and square Chiron/SN Pisces.
Blessings from my natal Jup~Sat conjunction Cap for keeping me grounded and afloat.

[Brea]

Maemae How do you mean "I blame it on mermaids"?

[MaeMae]

Google "sirens" or "mermaids"
Or google "pisces" or "neptune"
The real question is ~
"How can I save myself?"

[bubuza_dulce]

Hi, Brea!

The minute I read this I thought - "This must be a Moon in Pisces issue"- and there it was!

Since I too have similar problems and the Moon in Pisces (opposing Jupiter in Virgo) is the one thing our charts have in common I suppose this could be the root of the issue.

I haven't found the ultimate solution for it but being aware of oneself helps.

My Moon is in the 12th and my mother was aggressive.

Distinguishing from where those feelings really come, going to the ultimate thing that caused them, like was said above, works very well and it also takes time and practice.

You could continue being aware of your body, breathing, maybe practice some sports to help you connect with your body, dance and try to avoid those people and environments who push you too much.

Good luck with it and try to be patient.

[MaeMae]

bub ~
when you say mother was aggressive, was she abusive?

[bubuza_dulce]

Originally Posted by MaeMae

bub ~
when you say mother was aggressive, was she abusive?

She used to beat me without apparent reason even if I was asleep.
She would yell at me and say insulting things very often. I was punished for things I didn't know or who weren't even true sometimes.

That's why I said to Brea to be patient.

Now my mother is older, lives alone and suffers from pains basically everyday. She has arthritis and the pains wake her from her sleep. I find it ironic but she doesn't get it. She doesn't remember being a "bad" mother.

I don't mean to be off-topic but I'll say some more maybe someone explains these things to me.

I never understood why this is a 12th house issue. I would have seen it as a 8th, like Brea has it. She was strong, furious, present, she took care of many things a mother is suppose to take care. She never drank, use drugs, nor she ran away from her problems. I didn't see her as a victim and neither did she. She wasn't interested in the spiritual things, she was very attached to her possessions. She was more like an open enemy than a hidden one.

Now she seems more like a 12th house. She complains about things, she wants to sleep and run from her problems, she's interested in the occult.
Does this position of the Moon becomes effective with age?

The only obscure thing about her was that I was confused whether she loved me or not. Because with all she did I hoped she loved me.
I asked her recently and she told me that she just didn't.

[bubuza_dulce]

BTW, she has a Scorpio stellium including Saturn conjunct the Moon, so no surprises there!

[MaeMae]

bub ~
i hope you find peace in your heart and love for yourself. the resiliency of spirit is a beautiful thing.