My poor little Mercury

[virgo96019]

I was just wondering if anyone had any opinions on this. You’ll have to bear with me, my thoughts are kind of out of whack at the moment. Mercury is my chart ruler, Gemini Asc, also Sun and Moon, etc in Virgo. For one, I have chronic bronchitis---need to quit smoking, I know--- it appears that every time mercury goes retro, I get either bronchitis or a respiratory infection…like I do right now. During this time I get major flashbacks, my ascendant has progressed to Cancer so I understand this. I feel like my thoughts are in a whirlwind all the time, retro or not, it can be very difficult and confusing because my brain never stops, I literally make myself dizzy because I think way too much. I can’t help but wonder just how much I am affected every time Mercury changes signs and house, not to mention aspects, especially because it moves quickly. I know for sure that I get very restless right before the change, even more so when Mercury enters Gemini, I am a wreck! I feel like my brain is on overload all the time. My Asc and Sun square, which causes much tension because they work against each other, so my Mercury is already strained to begin with. Of course, it’s placing in Libra puts me a bit on the slower side, and my 6th house Neptune doesn’t help the situation either. Meditation gives a little relief but not enough, it’s taken me several years to learn to clear my mind and even then it’s short lived. At times I can communicate and write well, and other times I sound like a kindergartener. I know deep in my brain I am very smart, probably smarter than most as far as common sense goes. I am good at figuring things out and there isn’t much that gets by me, (unfortunate for the kiddies!) there is no doubt that my nature is mercurial, but it's too much too fast, and I get utterly confused! I am considering seeing a professional, but I am skeptical that it will help, my Dr. put me on antidepressants once and they had a reverse effect on me, I don’t want to ever go through that again, and I have never really been the same since. Not to mention I can’t afford anymore medical bills right now, so I’m not willing to take my chances on a shrink just yet. Not so surprising, my husband is a Taurus Asc and his Sun in Libra, his Venus is in Virgo (ouch!) I guess I am trying to figure out how much of an effect a dual ruling planet can have on an individual during transit. I would think this would be a double whammy, good or bad. I am not limiting this to Mercury and Venus, but any sun and ascendant sign doubles. I would love to hear of experiences or explanations on this.

[unukalhai]

Most interesting. I'm guessing you have a strong Mercury/Uranus linkage somehow, or an excitable sign on the 3rd house cusp? Your situation reminds me of several people I know with Mercury/Uranus dynamic aspects.

Mercury in Libra is going to want to use thoughts to balance everything, possibly you are afflicting your sensibilities by attempting to take sides on things when actually your Mercury wishes to have a more balanced view, as the scales represent?

This also means your Mercury is disposited by Venus, and the condition of the dispositor must also be taken into account.

How does Mercury fit into the dispositorship tree from the ascendant lord? This can also be revealing about his state.

I have an extremely overactive Mercury, i suppose it becomes obvious based on the length of my posts, etc etc... I'm also heavily Virgo, way too analytical! Mercury in the 11th house, conjunct Uranus, smack at the midpoint of a Neptune/Pluto sextile, in sharp and biting Scorpio, tightly quintile Jupiter just to expand everything way out of proportion! Needless to say, I spend years teaching my Mercury discipline, and he still gets the best of me now and then.

If you're Mercury is as feisty as mine tends to be, you probably are going to need to spend at least a few years teaching him some discipline. This is a conscious process of learning to direct your mental energies into a constructive pursuit. Mental hobbies and an intellectual career help. You can also use Saturn (self-control) transits to indicate the most beneficial times to engage in the seeking of mental discipline. There are many ways to help direct Mercury into a more focused application of his energy, and most are conscious mental processes. Just as one builds the muscles by physical exercise (and thus balancing Mars), one builds and balances Mercury by mental exercise.

Saturn enters Virgo this year, which may also indicate a 2.5 year period of building discipline in your analytical facilities.

... Just some various flighty thoughts and guesses. I'm not sure, is your chart posted somewhere here? If you don't choose to share your natal data with the public (which I can agree with and understand) feel free to drop me a PM.. You have me curious. I'd be happy to analyze Mercury's placement for you. Maybe I'd notice something you haven't?

Why ouch on Venus in Virgo? I personally find it to be a nice placement These folk can be somewhat critical in relationships, but make dedicated and discriminating lovers who aim to please, and really don't demand much. Those with Venus in Virgo, once they let you in, will make loving you their primary function, and the phrase "labor of love" is fully evoked in these souls. They love new social experiences, even if they are overly analytical of these experiences and therefore seem crtical. Reward them for their dedication in love, and all the little things they do for you, and you have someone who will make it their life's labor to please you. Return their favors, and you'll find out just how beautiful a mutual labor of love really is. If you are genuine in your appreciation, and help them to address their basic needs just as they address yours, things blossom. The earth nature of Virgo adds to their sensuality, but Virgo's mutable nature keeps them from being rigid like Venus in Capricorn or Taurus might exhibit. Virgo is also associated with healing, and these folks will use their love in a direct attempt to heal your troubles. If only you can convince them to learn a little about the art of massage, you might never want to go without

Mercury rules the lungs, which combined with your lung difficulties, makes me wonder if he's well afflicted in your chart, making you more sensitive to smoke?

Regarding smoking, do yourself a favor and quit. I know you've heard it 50 times from goodie-two-shoes who've never been addicted and don't know what it's like to quit, but that's not me. Not long ago I'd scoff at these people. I was a committed smoker. In fact, I wish I could have one right now! Oh how nice that would be! :| I recently quit under a Saturn/Mercury transit and even though it was two weeks of pure torture the feeling of no longer being a drug addict is very refreshing. Yes, I said it, I was a drug addict. That makes me sound like I was banging heroin on the street corner, but in all reality nicotine is more addictive than heroin, and I was quite well addicted... So, I was a druggie. And that simple reality I had to do something about!

My best advice is just to quit cold. The patch, and all the other nicotine replacement systems, are just a tease. Nothing is like a real burning cancer stick, and these fake-nicotine systems do nothing but drag on the chemical addiction while giving you a placebo "fix". The nicotine is fully purged from your system in ~2 weeks, after which the addiction is purely mental. By the third week, you're pretty much normal, aside from a mental wish you could smoke. Yes, the chemical withdrawal is a real SOB, but it does end. Just consider it your short-term punishment for taking up a long-term bad habit. That's what I did.

It's worth the two weeks of self-inflicted torture. Sure, it *****, but so do lung problems and dying early. You'll enjoy the increase physical energy and be proud of yourself for kicking a habit more addictive than crack. Find a few friends to support you, invest in a big box of your favorite gum, and remember it's over in 2 weeks and normality returns. Whatever you do, don't do anything that will infuse your system with nicotine, remember that if you slip up, you'll be up for another two weeks of torture. That's what kept me clean! Do it once and be done...

I'll admit I temporarily replaced smoking with an addiction to Chai tea and sweets, but those were MUCH easier to remedy!

http://www.quitnet.com

[virgo96019]

Hi unu!

My mercury and Uranus are both in my 5th house, not close enough to conjunct but they most definitely are together all in Libra, Jupiter sits between them, I posted a thread on that before, I thought it was so ironic that the 3 planets are the rulers of my kids sun signs. LOL, it must be their fault I am such a nervous wreck. I am definitely about balance, and what a fight it is! My Venus in Leo in H3. As far as my husband goes with his Venus in Virgo H4, he can be very hard on me, a lot of times he goes overboard with his criticism, and says things he shouldn’t say, the same goes for his sister and his close friends. He didn’t even get me a lousy card for Valentines Day. He is like this with our son too, it’s like walking on eggshells, and everything must be perfect when he gets home or all hell breaks loose. He has his Mars in Leo, and Moon in Pisces. I do understand him but it doesn’t make it any easier. Your right though, it is his way of showing he cares. On the other hand he is LOYAL to me and our family. He does take care of things, and I am proud of him for how he handles certain situations and how he takes action when action is needed. But I guess sometimes he doesn’t accept me for who I am, but who he wants me to be. It ought to be interesting when Saturn enters Virgo, it will hit my 4th stellium then on to the 5th. I am really hoping to get out of this funk I’ve been in. When Saturn was transiting my second house I quit smoking…for 2 years! I don’t know how I did it, it was spur of the moment and cold turkey. I was in the best of health, I didn’t eat sugar, white flour, and did yoga everyday. Then Saturn hit my third…thank god it’s almost over….and poof I went down quick, I don’t know why but the urge to smoke was so overwhelming I caved! I have destroyed my entire digestive track including my esophagus because all I do is eat **** food. I keep trying to discipline myself, I know I need to make some serious changes, but I can’t seem to stick to a solid plan if my life depended on it.
Thanks so much for your reply

Here is my chart:
http://i89.photobucket.com/albums/k2...NatalChart.jpg

The data is September 10 1969 11:47pm Rochester, NY

[starlink]

Virgo, it is almost exhausting reading about your struggle with Mercury in all its forms and different aspects hitting you over and over again. I am also surprised (already for quite a while, reading about other virgo's) that some Virgo's are totally brainy and others, like my good partner, dont like to go into anything deep.(or is he the only one??!) He is double Virgo, believe it or not and, listen to this, he has Jupiter right on top of Neptune in LIBRA in the 1st house!! In all my life I have never ever seen a person so disorganised and chaotic as he is, honestly. His Moon in Pisces (yes, like your husband) does not help things. So maybe this Libra thing could be the cause of feeling out of balance and running from one side to another and trying to please everyone in the process, wether it is in your first house or wether the ruler of the Ascendant is in Libra. Jupiter and Neptune of course are both the ruler of his Moon, so the Libra thing is very strong in his character. Mercury in Virgo in the 12th (Pisces house, oh oh) and guess what?! SQUARE Uranus in Gemini. Can it get any worse? But with Mars in Cancer and trining that sweet Moon in Pisces in the 6th, what can I say, he is the most darling, helpful, self-sacrificing soul you can imagine. Way too nice for me of course. He is a real Buddha. Always content and with very little as well.Never EVER one word of criticism either! So here you have a Virgo who is always out of wack, not just when transits hit him, incapable of concentrating on one thing, completely chaotic (his office looks like a hurricane just past by), no filing systems, no order, nothing and absolutely unobservant. I can hang a big new painting on the wall, he sees it maybe a week later! He maintains though, that there is "a method to his madness" which I have not found yet.Nevertheless he manages his own business (alone, working with him is impossible)and does it for the last 35 years. What can he do to stop the chaos in his head and what can you do when things get so uncontrolable and you cannot stop the thinking process?! Not very much I'm afraid . Unukalhai's suggestions seem indeed the best to me but it really really needs strong self-discipline to train your mind.
My daughter seems to have the same problems as you have, but she is not a Virgo. She has Saturn, Moon, Venus and Mars in Gemini (also Mercury ruled)and Moon trine Uranus from the 3rd. This Uranus is opposing her Pluto in the 9th, a terribly intens thinking process which at times overwhelms her. (do you have anything connected with Pluto maybe? (Pluto makes for a lot of worrying,going over things again and again until everything is turned upside down) She does, when that happens, take anti-depressants which help fantastically.(and psycho-therapy as well, has been very helpful indeed but you have to shop around as it were, not all therapists are good and you have to feel comfortable with them.) What helps her dealing with her running away mind is sport. Every day, no matter how bad she feels mentally, she goes to the fitness and it does wonders for her (she says). Also Yoga helped enormously. She has no patience for meditation though. She also spoils herself with a massage once in a while to relax. She also has problems quitting smoking (in her case also because she then turns to sweets and she does not want to gain weight) but manages at times. Still, it is an off and on thing. If you dont want to take anti-depressants, then try the homeopathic version. I dont know the name anymore, something like Johannis whatever. Just ask in the farmacy, they will know what it is and you can get it without description. It really helps (after about 2 to 3 weeks you become calmer and more focussed). Hope things will get better soon. And maybe you just need a good vacation, childfree!!
OH yes, one more thing. Lack of earth and water in the chart (my daughter only has fire and air! very difficult to handle) can be also the reason.

[lilllybelle]

Hello Mercurian Sister, I'm a virgo rising with a gemini sun. Mercury is in the 9th house in Taurus opposing uranus and squaring saturn. My mercury energy tends to make me high strung. I think I might come off as a rabid chihuahua having epileptic seizures at times. I get wound up over litte things. I'm trying to learn to chill out. I try to do a lot of yoga. I would suggest finding something that works for you and then do it everday. It can be very grounding for the mecurian type to commit to doing something everday. Excercise is so good for mercury. It gets us out of the mind and into the body. You might have to deceive yourself a little bit to get yourself going. I would suggest telling yourself that you are just going to go for a walk in a forest or take a yoga class with no commitment. Tell yourself that you are only going to do it that one time. The no commitment part will appeal to the mercury energy and give you the energy to take the first step. You might feel overwhelmed if you say that you are going to something everyday. Then after you try it the first time tell yourself that it won't hurt to go back a second time. Once your in love with the energy your practice gives you, go ahead and commit to a daily practice. Mercurians need to cultivate grounded fixed energy. If you can find a teacher who embraces avurveda and works with the kaptha energy, all the better.
I also get my self into a pitch as mercury stations retrograde. Also remember your probally not as bad off as you think you are. It's just the trick of the racing exagerating mind. The mind wants to trick you into thinking that you are it and nothing more. Your inner core is perfect and untouched.

[twiggy]

Hi Virgo

I recognise so much of what you are going through. I have Sun, Mercury, Venus, Uranus, Pluto, Jupiter, Asc in Virgo. As for smoking, the good thing about being a Virgo is that there is that little voice that says it's never OK to abuse our body and it can win out over time. My smoking and other unhealthy habits never last long. I think many other starsigns aquire bad habits and just never question themselves, ignorance is bliss! My Scorpio man has fully integrated his smoking (pot) and social drinking as a birthright (and he's 'good' compared to what he apparently used to do..., and he only goes exercising with business associates. (Cap Asc). He never EVER go running with me. It least our Virgo angel taps us on the shoulder once in a while.
If you think too much, try relax with a few good books. The one's that don't require you to think, just passively float into it's world. Not biographies or self-help or anything that requires you to think actively.
Funny thing, I sensed a great relief as Mercury went retrograde, it was more intense for me the two weeks leading up.

Cheers

[unukalhai]

Originally Posted by virgo96019

Hi unu!
My mercury and Uranus are both in my 5th house, not close enough to conjunct but they most definitely are together all in Libra

Hello I figured there had some sort of connection to Uranus, although it seems the connection to Jupiter is possibly more important, expanding Mercury, as if he's not powerful enough otherwise! Uranus may have an influence, but the conjunction is pretty wide and across decans. Whatever the case, Mercury is just plain strong. I use Koch cusps to determine strength by house placement, with objects close to Koch cusps gaining power. Being in the middle of a sign also gains power. This is a technique developed by Bruno Huber of the API (api-uk.org) detailed in his book "The Planets" that I've found works really well. Your Mercury is bang on the 5th house cusp, and close to the center of Libra. This is, by sign and house position, as strong as it gets. I'm not sure I'd use the words "poor" or "little to describe your Mercury. Being that he's powerfully placed AND disposits all three "biguns" in the chart (Sun, Moon, ASC) you are Mercury! I think what you are experiencing is simply his natural, flighty, never stay in one place kind of nature, in combination with the start of a major period of Uranus activity for you (see towards the end of this post for more on Uranus). And it's nowonder Mercury RX cycles hit you hard, heck, anything with Mercury in the transiting sky must hit you hard. I would guess his transits mark all the important periods in your life, too. You might check out how Mercury interacts with your Sun and natal Mercury as he spins around the wheel, as well as where his retrogrades fall. An animation of his movements might literally be a history book of your experiences.

What really amuses me is how I mention that you might need to apply conscious (Sun) discipline (Saturn) to bring your mind (Mercury) into line. Why this amuses me is I basically read your chart without seeing it, lol. Your Sun/Saturn midpoint is 13Can24, an almost perfect square to your 13Lib28 Mercury! The midpoint picture reads basically as I had wrote, that you are challenged (the square) to use conscious (Sun) self-control and discipline (Saturn) in connection with your mental facilities (Mercury). It could also be read that discipline (Saturn) and your will (Sun) both need to be applied to Mercury. I would say it goes further than just your mental facilities, however, since your 3 major placements are all Mercury-ruled, and as such, Mercury is sort of your overall representation in the chart. You are Mercury. As such, the Sun/Saturn concept of willpower/self-control is important to your growth

Your ascendant dispositorship is also most interesting...

Gem ASC -> Mercury
Lib Mercury -> Venus
Leo Venus -> Sun
Vir Sun -> Mercury ^^^ [WRAP!]

For those of us without a final dispositor, but with a looped ASC dispositorship tree, I've always considered the planet that wraps the dispositorship back to the ascendant lord to be really important, and essentially a final dispositor, although not so dignified.

The 5th house in general is very important for you. With so many planets in the 4th house, and the south node, it would appear you've already, in previous lives, become very well suited to 4th house things, such that you need to move into the 5th house. Chart ruler (and Sun/Moon dispositor!) on the 5th Koch cusp almost seems to say this life is a 4th -> 5th house transition period. It's as if you've finally come to the point of finding inner security and your challenge is to communicate it (Mercury) by expressing yourself (5th house). Do you find your expression is blocked? It sounds like it, since you mentioned walking on eggshells. Could it be that your blocked self-expression is frustrating Mercury and he really wants out? This is just a guess, but seems logical. You know better than I do

Do you have ways of expressing yourself away from the home? If not, you might consider some avenues. Think of 5th house matters, which include anything self-expressive.. Dramas, plays, music, any sort of performance, especially artist performances. The 5th is big on creativity! I obviously don't have any clue what you engage in during your personal time, but possibly adding some positive expression of the 5th house to your life would help unblock Mercury. Don't be afraid to involve your kids in this as partner, as children are wonderful guides for helping us adults, with all our restrictions and limitations and rigid attitudes, to express ourselves like kids again. They are also 5th house people! Maybe it's just a Neptunian pipedream to me, but I can almost see the energy flow between you and your children helping you while growing them and exposing them to some interesting forms of expression. Think outside the box!

Ascendant: 24th of Gemini: CAREFREE CHILDREN SKATE OVER A SMOOTHLY FROZEN POND Capacity to use every opportunity, even in the hardest of environment, for self-recreation or relaxation. Appreciation.

Even your rising degree concurs

I thought it was so ironic that the 3 planets are the rulers of my kids sun signs.

HA! Wow, that's pretty neat. It's always amazing the linkages between parents and their children Funny that by Placidus, those are your 3 5th house planets. It's as if your children are meant to help you work on 5th house matters. How wonderful!

I am definitely about balance, and what a fight it is!

A natal chart speaks strongly of potentials.. You will find that balance, if only you put a concerted effort into it. Have faith in yourself...

As far as my husband goes with his Venus in Virgo H4, he can be very hard on me, a lot of times he goes overboard with his criticism, and says things he shouldn’t say, the same goes for his sister and his close friends. He didn’t even get me a lousy card for Valentines Day. He is like this with our son too, it’s like walking on eggshells, and everything must be perfect when he gets home or all hell breaks loose. He has his Mars in Leo, and Moon in Pisces. I do understand him but it doesn’t make it any easier. Your right though, it is his way of showing he cares. On the other hand he is LOYAL to me and our family. He does take care of things, and I am proud of him for how he handles certain situations and how he takes action when action is needed. But I guess sometimes he doesn’t accept me for who I am, but who he wants me to be.

So he expresses the Virgo Venus strongly in the home (4th house)... That makes sense. He's probably nowhere near like that outside the home, since the placement falls in his 4th. Mars in Leo probably gives him a really aggressive display of the self, but Moon in Pisces conflicts with this, making his emotions so sensitive and easily confused. I'd guess it's that Pisces Moon that wants to see you for something other than who you are. Have you checked out his progressed lunar cycle? Hard aspects in the progressed lunation cycle (including 8th harmonic aspects) indicate times when the lunar placement can grow and transcend, and thus indicate good times for you to help him connect with the REAL you. His last progressed new Moon may also give you some clues as to how his lunar energy is working, and the full Moon of that progressed cycle offers clues as to where it's going. If he could learn to accept you for the real you, I bet his Virgo Venus wouldn't be so critical.

If you're not familiar with the progressed lunation cycle, say so, and I'll dig up some articles on it for you

It ought to be interesting when Saturn enters Virgo, it will hit my 4th stellium then on to the 5th. I am really hoping to get out of this funk I’ve been in.

That will certainly be a major period when Saturn transits the 4th grouping. It would appear to start around August this year with a bang of transits...
a) Sun/Mercury/Venus/Saturn quadruple conjunct over your IC in trine to your Mars/Descendant conjunction
b) the Sun/Saturn conjunction in almost exact (3arcmin) semisquare to your chart ruler, Mercury. Semisquares generally act as a catalyst, a first point of dynamic action, that leads towards the square phase. An aspect that is more powerful than most acknowledge!
c) Venus retrograding over your IC, and then stationing direct just a degree ahead of your natal Venus. Your Venus Return (June 22 2007) features Moon right on your Uranus, interesting considering the Uranus direction mentioned further down...
d) Jupiter/Jupiter sextile phase
e) Uranus opposing natal Sun

When Saturn was transiting my second house I quit smoking…for 2 years! I don’t know how I did it, it was spur of the moment and cold turkey. I was in the best of health, I didn’t eat sugar, white flour, and did yoga everyday.

2nd = the body, Saturn = self-control/restrictions for one's own benefit.. Makes sense!

Then Saturn hit my third…thank god it’s almost over….and poof I went down quick, I don’t know why but the urge to smoke was so overwhelming I caved! I have destroyed my entire digestive track including my esophagus because all I do is eat **** food.

I'd be surprised if this didn't have more to do with Pluto rolling over your natal Mars more than anything else. Certainly a high-energy, potentially stress filled, even dangerous and destructive transit. The big kicker of this transit seems to be late Jan 2005, when Mars/Pluto conjuncted within 1/3rd of a degree of your natal Mars. If all this energy wasn't properly applied to something like a major project or other big undertaking, it could have billowed over into a need for placation and release in the form of smoking and other forms of naughty things.

I keep trying to discipline myself, I know I need to make some serious changes, but I can’t seem to stick to a solid plan if my life depended on it.

I'm sure you'll find your ground soon enough. I think alot of this has to do with your solar arc IC rolling over your natal Uranus this year, assuming your birthtime is fairly accurate. This can indicate you want to break free of restrictions in the home, and likely especially that eggshell effect you mentioned above. It's harder than usual to deal with restrictions and setbacks in the home, as Uranus always wants to break you free of such things when it's activated. This is a major progression!

Did you start studying astrology in the recent past? directions from angles to Uranus often indicate periods when people get into astrology, myself included

I should also add you have entered a major period of Uranian activity from 2005 through 2015. In 2005, Uranus started opposing your Moon, opposes your Sun this year, 2008 and 2009 it retrogrades back and forth over your close Sun/Southnode/Pluto conjunction, makes the big whammy in 2011-2012 when it opposes itself (the Uranus-Uranus opposition is a _huge_ event!) and opposes your Mercury/Jupiter conjunction in 2013-2015. You got your first (recent) taste of Uranus's big entry into your life in 2002 when he crossed your MC. Think back to around 1987 when he crossed your DSC/Mars conjunction or 1989 when he squared himself, and look for continuations of the Uranian journey. Connecting with the past always make the present and future more apparent, especially when dealing with the cycles of the slower planets, which can dip in and out of our lives for long enough periods to make us forget what the last major part of the cycle entailed.

I think the whirlwind thoughts, never-stopping mind, etc etc, all indicative of this important (and long) period of Uranus opposing your grouping in the 4th.

I'm also curious... did the need for self-control maybe start coming to the forefront around the summer solstice (June) of 2006? There was a major grand cross formation around then which closely aspected your natal Saturn, which coincided with the waxing (lower) Saturn/Saturn square of Saturn's second run around your chart, a major point in the cycle for sure.

Anyways, again, just more various thoughts, certainly a bit disjointed but figured I'd share the various things I noted when looking over your chart I'm sure there's plenty I missed... *giggle*

Thanks so much for your reply

You're welcome, my fellow Mercurian

[virgo96019]

Wow! Thanks so much everybody! I don't have time to give my full reply at the moment, I've got to get to work, I can assure you I have a lot to say! Unu, everything you said was right on track, especially about the blocked self expression, this is something that I have been focusing on lately, a couple weeks ago it dawned on me how hard it is to be myself because my interests are, well lets say different from people close to me, lol my daughter thinks I am so wierd, my 2 boys are interested to a point, they both have a little bit of a gift that IMO, would be worth nuturing and developing. I'll be back later tonight to expand on all replies. Thanks again guys, you don't know how helpful you all are right now!

[virgo96019]

Starlink: How funny! I too am completely unorganized and chaotic like your boyfriend, I get a kick out of jokes about virgos and their houses being so clean neat and organized and appearance never less than perfect. I am quite the opposite, my house is a disaster area…well, my family has a little issue cleaning up after themselves, but I refuse to be tied down to house cleaning 7/24. I pick up once a day and whatever happens after than can wait until tomorrow. Whatever you do, do not open the closets! I could care less what my hair or clothes look like…most of the time. I always struggled in school and just about flunked every subject, definitely not smart! On the other hand, at work I am all about organization, my store must look perfect at all times and I have no tolerance for slackers. I get on a tangent about any little thing that isn’t done right. I drive everyone crazy. My backroom has to be organized according to category and name brand…let me find one can of hairspray out of place and I am ripping everything apart. It takes nothing to make my antenna’s go up and I am peeling through paperwork, going through every sale from every employee, and I don’t quit until I find exactly what I’m looking for. Pretty soon someone is going to take my highlighter away from me!
Pluto squares my ascendant pretty tight and Transiting Pluto is separating a square to my natal Pluto, and is applying a square to Uranus, eeek!

Lillybelle: LOL, I am more like a raging bull dog, seriously I can really scare people who don’t know me because I come off so strong, I am loud and talk way too much, and I talk with my hands as much as I do my mouth. I love yoga too, did it religiously for a couple of years, I used to watch this lady on TV every night at 10:00, until we moved, now I don’t have that channel anymore, so I broke down and bought a couple of DVD’s, argh!, you are right about it, it was the only time in my life I was not in a “tizzy” all the time, I was the healthiest I had ever been inside and out, matter of fact you’ve inspired me to do some yoga tonight. Just out of curiosity have you ever had a heart test done before? The reason I ask is because my Dr. told me that I have (or had) a very rare ability to slow down my heart beat ( at least that’s what I think he said) as I slow down my breathing . Apparently, this is a good thing. I figured it was the yoga.

Twiggy: I was very restless when mercury went retrograde this time, usually it doesn’t effect me too horrible, but this time he is in Pisces and screwing me up, I am a bit too sensitive for my taste. All of a sudden music has meaning to me, not that I don’t like music, I like all music but yesterday I went on a mini road trip and every song that came on the radio seemed to mean something to me personally, and these were all songs that I have heard a million times before. My husband hates it when I get into a good book, he says, what’s that? My new replacement? And I answer, is yes it is.
As for not reading self help books, I am afraid it’s too late, I just bought a book on alternative medicine and holistic healing, another Pisces thing. I am feeling a little nervous about my next visit to the stomach dr. I have to have an 8 hour test, I am not feeling very hopeful, all these tests and procedures seem to coincide with the rx period, but I don’t have a choice, it can’t wait.

Unu: Your interpretations are incredible. “Challenged to use conscious self control and discipline in connection with mental facilities”, you have no idea how deep this goes. It is a major theme in my life. I grew up in your typical, abusive dysfunctional family and pretty much had to learn about life by myself through trial and error, with no guidance. I had to redo everything I had learned growing up, which was negativity, anger and violence. I had to figure out what is right and wrong, what is appropriate and what isn’t, you hit it spot on when you said my kids were helping me because that is exactly what they do. I may not be sure exactly what to do, but I have a clear understanding on what not to do. One of the biggest lessons I had to learn is that they are not me and my bad experiences aren’t theirs.
My self expression has always been blocked. It isn’t as bad now that I am an adult, but I have to keep some things that I do a secret or sneak around, for instance I don’t do astrology or read cards or even surf the net when my husband is around, he makes me feel lazy and guilty if I spend too much time. He doesn’t understand that these things actually keep me sane, so yes mercury is dying to get out. I am not very creative, but I will say that through my kids it is like almost having a second childhood, all the things they did for the first time I was doing too, even little things like going to the store, when I was young we never went to the store with my parents, and I mean never. No Mcdonalds or pizza, malls or anything. Sports were out of the question and so were birthday parties and sleepovers. My house is completely opposite.
Jan of 2005 is when the stress of work and home balance took it’s toll, I ended up demoting myself a year later because I just couldn’t work all the quirky hours that were required.
I started astrology a little more than a year ago, and I have come to the conclusion that I should have started a long time ago, phew, so much to learn and not enough time to learn it. I thought Pluto crossing over H7 had something to do with it, I was on a mission! June 2006 was a rough, my oldest got himself into legal trouble, drugs, and up to no good. He was forced to live with me because he was being kicked out of his dads house…he really ******* up. I will never forget the feeling I had for a good month or more, it was so bad I lost it. He stole my silver that my mother gave to me, he stole money and that’s just the start of it. I thought that if I got him a car he would magically become responsible and get a job….11 days later he totaled it and the car he hit. Mind you I haven’t made a claim on my insurance in 12 years! Then he and my husband had a fist fight so needless to say, he does not live here anymore. And it’s a good thing because he got in more legal trouble that would have set me right over the edge had he been living here.
I am going to keep close tabs on mercury for awhile, I thank you for helping me to understand this better, and I have a feeling Saturn will soon be my new “little friend”.
( I always dubbed Pluto as my little friend)

[starlink]

Hello Virgo! Wauw, what a story! At least you are organised in the office! I wished my partner was. He is better at home actually, just the other way around from you. His toothbrush on the left instead of on the right, OH BOY!!, everything MUST always be in the same place because he cannot find it otherwise, even if it is positioned about 1 meter further!! He would never even bother to lift something up to see if it maybe lies beneath it. I, on the contrary, go through everything till I find it. Oh well, everybody is different and with a little give and take, we get around those things.
About your son, I did not quite understand. First you wrote that he had to leave his fathers house and live with you and after that you wrote that he, thank God does not live with you and your husband anymore. Was he maybe then living with your first husband?. Hope he will straighten himself out one day, must be awfully hard on you. And honestly, talk to your husband and tell him that Astrology helps you mentally and when you get calmer because of it, it would benefit both of you. So what if he thinks you are doing nothing (maybe not for him, but surely you are doing something for yourself!!) I learned NOT to put my own needs aside. I used to, I was just like you, turned of the TV as soon as my (ex husband) came into the room, stopped doing creative things when he was at home (thank God he traveled a lot so I had time to myself in between). But now with this new partner, I told him exactly what I needed in order not to get cranky and he lets me. I do appreciate it (and always thank him for letting me "live") and am therefore also much more willing to meet his wishes. If I am in the internet, like now, with you guys, he lets me finish. I then feel good as well and have far more joy in cooking or being patient with him.

[virgo96019]

Originally Posted by starlink

About your son, I did not quite understand. First you wrote that he had to leave his fathers house and live with you and after that you wrote that he, thank God does not live with you and your husband anymore. Was he maybe then living with your first husband?.

well long story short he has been back and forth between us since the age of 13, now that he's 18, he's on his own as far as living arrangements. I wont help him if he is going to continue to live this lifestyle. I don't know what happened to him along the way, he has adhd too. He always prefered his fathers house because there was no siblings and basically he could do what ever he wanted. His grandparents are very wealthy so he got whatever he wanted and "we" were always second class if ya know what i mean. So sad because he is a great kid underneath it all, I am just hoping he will grow up at some point and stop destroying his life and hurting the ones who love him!

[lilllybelle]

When I was growing up I had an abusive home environment like you Virgo. Layter I went and got therapy and the therapist told me that my racing mind was a byproduct of the abuse that went on in my home. Often times people from abusive homes have an overdeveloped sense of intuition or playing the part of the fortune teller as a means of survival. If someone might loose their temper at any moment, and you are a small child without much power, it's to your benefit to try to figure out what they are feeling at all times by noticing their facial expressions, how they are breathing, everything, so that you can flee to your room or be very quiet if need be. So as child I developed a set of antennas to my environment, feeling all of the moods or vibrations in a room. This leads to a racing mind as an adult where we try to think all the time, because adults from abusive homes often believe that if we think all of the time we can prevent danger from touching us. We can out think life and the uncertainity of it all. The antennas served us well as children but we have to shed them as adults, because they hinder us instead of serving us. Plus having an abusive home life can get you stuck in constant mode of fight or flight or crisis consciousness, (You know pisces energy has helped me release a lot of my perpetual preperation for battle stance, not nearly enough though).
I'm not as bad about trying figure people out these days, but the antennas have their perks too. I can figure out whether a person is trustworthy or not in a matter of seconds, and I see a lot the stuff that is going on in a room under the surface. The truth is most all women have developed their observation or intuition skills pretty well for the same reasons that an abused child will. Women don't have the power in society, men do. So it is to our advantage to notice the moods of people around us because the servant needs to be aware of the moods of the master. That's why men are often times clueless to things we notice right away.
"Did you notice that Mark likes Jill?"
"Uh no. What makes you think that?"
"The way he was looking at her. Didn't you notice?"
"No."
The only difference is an abused female child, now adult, will be hyper aware of others' feelings and moods and have a racing mind to match, to the point that it is hindering them in life and the though process becomes dysfucntional. Of course not all abused children will respond this way, but if the abused child's mercury is heavily emphasized in the natal chart, then they might have more potential to develop the racing mind syndrome. Whew,
I just went off on such a tangent. Back to earth Jo Ellen! Basically I'm just confirming what I suspect you alread know, that a lot of the fast and furious thinking is a surivival skill you developed in a abusive home as a child.

[virgo96019]

Lillybelle, you are so right! I can read people so well, before they even speak to me, for instance, I KNOW when someone is shady, I get this extremely uncomfortable feeling that tells me to stay away from this person, it's almost like an istant wall that goes up. A couple of weeks ago I went out with my girlfriends. One of them met this guy...he was hot I might add but there was something "wrong" with him, don't know what but something was off about him. I went to the bathroom and when I came out he was waiting for me, pulled me aside and asked me why I was analyzing him, I was not expecting him to say that. I'm like what do ya mean? He said well first of all I'm a cop and we are trained to analyze people, but I have never been on the recieving end and your squinty little eyes burned right through me, I know your just looking out for your friend...which I wasn't she can take care of herself, she certianly doesn't need me to look out for her lol, I was the one that needed a babysitter that night! It was funny, got a good laugh about it. I never thought about it as being a means of survival, how true that is! If it's one thing I hate the most it's being caught be surprise, of course the downside for me is always having that negative outlook, like if I am too happy about something or if I happen to be in a great mood, I have this way of thinking don't be too happy something will happen to ruin it, so I am always on guard to expect the unexpected, that way I am not so surprized when something does happen, thats the inner me, the outer me is completley different, I have to see the humor in everything. I had an old boss tell me once that I never take anything seriously, all you do is make jokes..he was mad about something, that in itself was the funniest thing I ever heard! I have such a busy life and so much going on at one time, it's one tragedy after another, I have to see the humor or I'll die inside, or worse, I could end up like my mother!

[Soul Friend]

Hi Virgo,

Because this is an old thread I didn't read through all the posts but off the top of my head from the issue of your opening post describing "thoughts in a whirlwind" it seemed sensible to follow the trail of dispositors. All of your planets are looped with none in their own sign nor are any in mutual reception. This is probably drawing you to see all issues from different perspectives at different times as your focus filters experiences through a changing perspective. Like looking through a Kaleidoscope it never looks the same.

Sorry if I'm repeating info already brought out but if so consider this confirmation of emphasis on that note and if it's an original idea perhaps this gives you some idea of explanation. Perhaps you might need to consider if the variety of thoughts ever get to be too much to think straight that you might pull back from the situation long enough to remind yourself what ideals and priorities you might value in different areas of life. Know what you believe, like and want about different things and then let those priorities resume center stage after you see you've gotten distracted so you can fall back on decisions made with clear thinking. An example would be in issues of the heart consider Venus and the Moon. For focusing your ambitions look to Mars and so on. Know the basics and always keep those in mind when details clutter your focus.

I hope this helps if you're still working on this.


Cheerfully ,

~Soul Friend
~~~Rick