10 year relationship

princess valhalla · #1 03-20-2012, 02:27 PM

Sorry if this is put in the wrong place, i'm unsure... me and my boyfriend have been together for 10 and a half years. it's more like a marriage actually. we have 2 children together and by all other standards, we are married. minus wedding license. i'm pretty sure i have been the one resistant to marriage all these years. he is more traditional than i am in most ways. i guess my question is, are we over? it certainly feels that way. i mean we love each other but i really think we resent each other more than anything at this point. to tell you the truth, i have no idea how a scorpio sun/ capricorn moon man and a sag sun/ aquarius moon woman have gotten along all these years! Anyways, I feel like it is really OVER. we've both felt this way many times throughout our relationship, yet still preserved. however, he has been pretty vocal lately about his unhappiness and i do believe the word hate has been used extensively lately. when he says something, you can bet he means it. unlike me, who says things i really don't mean. i feel really, really sad. like crying my eyes out sad. probably b/c deep down i know it is over. i love him, i always will. i've been thinking as hard as it will be, and i KNOW it will be!!! maybe i will be better off after some time and healing. anyways, any help is greatly appreciated.

princess valhalla · #2 03-20-2012, 02:35 PM

wow, looking at his chart, he has a packed 8th house.

Vista · #3 03-20-2012, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by princess valhalla

Sorry if this is put in the wrong place, i'm unsure... me and my boyfriend have been together for 10 and a half years. it's more like a marriage actually. we have 2 children together and by all other standards, we are married. minus wedding license. i'm pretty sure i have been the one resistant to marriage all these years. he is more traditional than i am in most ways. i guess my question is, are we over? it certainly feels that way. i mean we love each other but i really think we resent each other more than anything at this point. to tell you the truth, i have no idea how a scorpio sun/ capricorn moon man and a sag sun/ Aquarius moon woman have gotten along all these years! Anyways, I feel like it is really OVER. we've both felt this way many times throughout our relationship, yet still preserved. however, he has been pretty vocal lately about his unhappiness and i do believe the word hate has been used extensively lately. when he says something, you can bet he means it. unlike me, who says things i really don't mean. i feel really, really sad. like crying my eyes out sad. probably b/c deep down i know it is over. i love him, i always will. i've been thinking as hard as it will be, and i KNOW it will be!!! maybe i will be better off after some time and healing. anyways, any help is greatly appreciated.

He is going through a difficult time especially with his Transiting Saturn return conjunct Saturn/Pluto in the 7th house. Transiting Uranus will also be hitting his IC/MC this Spring and again at the end of the year. To me, it looks like it's over from his standpoint or he will make the move to end things. From your end, I am not necessarily seeing an ending but I didn't look as closely to your chart. Regardless, his unhappiness is reflected very clearly with the transits. I suppose it only takes one person to end things anyways....I think what is going on here is that while you have lasted 10 years, with you a "bird in hand" is not worth as much as two in the bush. You have Uranus in your 7th house so freedom for you is important. There is also a tendency to like what you can't have and now that he is talking about leaving you are thinking "wait a minute I really do love you," while all along he wanted commitment and you sort of push the idea of marriage off and is essence, pushed him away. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying in any way that you didn't love him. quite the contrary. I just think with Uranus in the 7th, traditional is not really for you so living together fits very nicely into what your needs of having "figuratively" one foot out the door. He on the other hand wants the binding commitment with Venus ruling the 7th and Pluto and Saturn inside. Maybe you can salvage things and maybe the relationship has run it's course. I think you need to do some soul searching here and think about what you really want in your life. You are in a traditional relationship(Taurus rising), however traditional is not what will ultimately make you happy(Uranus 7th, Sag Sun, Moon Aquarius).

princess valhalla · #4 03-20-2012, 05:02 PM

i could be reading wrong between the lines but is there a possibility of him leaving me for someone else? i find your assessment to be quite accurate about me. however with my pesky taurus rising, change is very hard for me and i have a hard time letting go. also it feels like the relationship has a karmic/fate quality to it. devon has always said that for some strange reason he knew he was going to marry a 'sarah' since he was a child and when he met me, he knew i was the one. we were so in love when we first met and for the first few years. things have changed though, which of course is inevitable i guess. it doesn't make it any easier however. if we do break up, i have a sinking feeling it will take me years to get over, deep depression, etc.
what do i want? Happyness! which i guess is too broad really and maybe asking for too much!

lol

Vista · #5 03-20-2012, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by princess valhalla

i could be reading wrong between the lines but is there a possibility of him leaving me for someone else? i find your assessment to be quite accurate about me. however with my pesky taurus rising, change is very hard for me and i have a hard time letting go. also it feels like the relationship has a karmic/fate quality to it. devon has always said that for some strange reason he knew he was going to marry a 'sarah' since he was a child and when he met me, he knew i was the one. we were so in love when we first met and for the first few years. things have changed though, which of course is inevitable i guess. it doesn't make it any easier however. if we do break up, i have a sinking feeling it will take me years to get over, deep depression, etc.
what do i want? Happyness! which i guess is too broad really and maybe asking for too much!

lol

No, I don't see him leaving for anyone else at all. What was his relationship with his mother? Moon in hard aspect to Mars usually points to problems with the mother, does your relationship in any way resemble his with his mother or what he saw with his mother and father? Anyway, all people go through hard transits and progression and not everyone separates. Perhaps you could break-up and then reconcile or you will break-up. It's really up to both of you. You have a dual personality going on with the freedom loving planets mixed with the stability loving Taurus rising. I believe you are living one side of your needs, hence Devon and you are finally seeing some cracks. Perhaps finding a way to give him what he wants, yet retain your sense of freedom would be a good thing to do. Can you and he compromise or is it beyond that? Too bad he just couldn't get busy doing other things, hobbies or working for a cause to sort of take him out of the rut you two have gotten into and make you "want" more time with him rather than him always being there.

princess valhalla · #6 03-20-2012, 05:58 PM

wow you seem to hit it on the nail vista! devon's relationship with his mother is non existent. they always had a strained relationship from the get go. she actually disowned him and our 2 daughters over 3 years ago and we haven't heard from her since. devon did try to get ahold of her a couple of times but to no avail. she wants nothing to do with him/us. she seems to be happy and doing great, traveling the world (from what we have heard from others) while i think it pains him greatly. he never knew his father. his mom got married when he was 6 and had two more sons. devon's step father did adopt him but never considered him his son. since the age of 14, his mom dumped him from halfway house to halfway house till he turned 18 and joined the navy. my theory is that for whatever reason, devon reminds his mother too much of his biological father. from one picture she showed me once, devon looks identical to his bio father, literally. and my 2 daughters are identical to devon. i am brunette, brown eyes. he is blonde, blue eyes, my daughters the same.
his little brother died abruptly 8 years ago on march 2nd. it was a dark time for us. devon loved him immensely. the very strained relationship deteriorated worse after that. devon in a way blames his mother for his brother's passing.
Devon's mom never liked me. and to tell you the truth i have no respect for someone that would disown their own child and innocent grandchildren, so the feeling is mutual. she is fake, rich, selfish and greedy, while i like to keep it real. lol to tell you the truth devon always said he couldn't be with someone like his mom or that even got along with his mom.
lastly, you are so right when you said "Too bad he just couldn't get busy doing other things, hobbies or working for a cause to sort of take him out of the rut you two have gotten into and make you "want" more time with him rather than him always being there." he always does just want to be with me. it's kind of like i am his hobby. my hobbies/likes over the years have become his. not because of me. maybe he has in a way put the motherly role on me. don't know . . . but i do love him. very much.

princess valhalla · #7 03-20-2012, 11:24 PM

i have a basic understanding of natal astrology. i'm pretty clueless when it comes to transits and synastry, etc. you mentioned earlier about a returning saturn transit conjunct saturn/pluto for devon. for some reason when i first read that i had an ominous, sinking feeling like something bad could happen like the death of someone. can you please explain the transit a little bit more? having a hard saturn aspect in my chart, i'm not a big fan of saturn.

Thanks by the way for all the info.
~Sarah