What type of parent am I?

[Blackempress]

Asking in respect to astrological locations, how do you assess the 'Kind of parent' you would be/are?

[twelthnight]

look at your moon and fith house, my moon is conjunct 5th house ruler, and my kids are extremely important to me...i am totally devoted to their wellbeing. Being in leo and that my 5th house ruler is saturn, i take having fun with them seriously. We joke around a lot and are a relaxed family, but i spend about 80 percent of my time thinking of how to understand and help them. also, we tend to parent in reaction (positive and negative) to our own parenting, so think about what you want for your kids...moon placement will give you some clues...good luck

[Blackempress]

Originally Posted by twelthnight

look at your moon and fith house, my moon is conjunct 5th house ruler, and my kids are extremely important to me...i am totally devoted to their wellbeing. Being in leo and that my 5th house ruler is saturn, i take having fun with them seriously. We joke around a lot and are a relaxed family, but i spend about 80 percent of my time thinking of how to understand and help them. also, we tend to parent in reaction (positive and negative) to our own parenting, so think about what you want for your kids...moon placement will give you some clues...good luck

Interesting. Would that mean that say if you have a 5th in Leo & have a child by the same sign can they Benefit from that 'creative' side of you? This also makes me wonder if u can use your chart & theirs to discover what kind of attitude etc would help u understand & groom them.

[greybeard]

What kind of parent you are is determined by what kind of person you are, which is described by the whole chart.

Every single thing you think, do and create in life is nothing more than the projection of your inner self , en toto, onto the outer world.

I think that if we are looking for "focal factors" (such as the proposed 5th house & Moon combination) we would do well to look at the 4th House and its lord. Naturally the Moon does give vital information concerning our ability to give nurture and protection. On the other hand, the 5th House provides information about the child or children, rather than shedding light directly on our parenting "skills."

Say that a chart shows an unstable home life in one or more ways... We could take a hard Moon - Uranus aspect as an example. Here, we might expect a conflict between the parent's desire for home and family and the need for personal freedom. Therefore, as a parent, the giving of nurture would be interrupted, irregular, broken, erratic. But no single aspect or factor can be taken out of the context of the Whole Chart. Perhaps in our example of a hard aspect between Moon and Uranus, the chart also contains a conjunction of Venus and Saturn in Cancer, with this coupling being very powerful in the map and well aspected. I would expect that there would be a very strong sense of duty, quite possibly duty being identified with love toward the family, within the personality of the parent and that it would predominate over the weaker Moon - Uranus aspect. However, if the Moon-Uranus aspect held a more powerful position in the chart, then that would be the predominant characteristic. Does this parent's chart feature a preponderance of Air signs? We might expect this chart feature, as far as parenting goes, to express as a certain detachment, an interest in promoting "intellectual" achievement in the kids, an inclination to encourage versatility, and other Airy traits.

Each chart is different. There is a tendency among astrologers to look for shortcut methods to "read" particular aspects of our lives, and far too often the Chart as a Whole is ignored as the fundamental source of everything in our lives.

[Blackempress]

Originally Posted by greybeard

What kind of parent you are is determined by what kind of person you are, which is described by the whole chart.

Every single thing you think, do and create in life is nothing more than the projection of your inner self , en toto, onto the outer world.

I think that if we are looking for "focal factors" (such as the proposed 5th house & Moon combination) we would do well to look at the 4th House and its lord. Naturally the Moon does give vital information concerning our ability to give nurture and protection. On the other hand, the 5th House provides information about the child or children, rather than shedding light directly on our parenting "skills."

Say that a chart shows an unstable home life in one or more ways... We could take a hard Moon - Uranus aspect as an example. Here, we might expect a conflict between the parent's desire for home and family and the need for personal freedom. Therefore, as a parent, the giving of nurture would be interrupted, irregular, broken, erratic. But no single aspect or factor can be taken out of the context of the Whole Chart. Perhaps in our example of a hard aspect between Moon and Uranus, the chart also contains a conjunction of Venus and Saturn in Cancer, with this coupling being very powerful in the map and well aspected. I would expect that there would be a very strong sense of duty, quite possibly duty being identified with love toward the family, within the personality of the parent and that it would predominate over the weaker Moon - Uranus aspect. However, if the Moon-Uranus aspect held a more powerful position in the chart, then that would be the predominant characteristic. Does this parent's chart feature a preponderance of Air signs? We might expect this chart feature, as far as parenting goes, to express as a certain detachment, an interest in promoting "intellectual" achievement in the kids, an inclination to encourage versatility, and other Airy traits.

Each chart is different. There is a tendency among astrologers to look for shortcut methods to "read" particular aspects of our lives, and far too often the Chart as a Whole is ignored as the fundamental source of everything in our lives.

Good explanation! It would be very nice if there can actually be a hypothetical or real chart discussion.
Thanks.

[Our3Minds]

I think much of the capabilities and struggles we have in side of all of us are the result of how our Signs were groomed by the childhood we experienced. How our parents were as parents is in our memories and many of us say we aren't ever going to parent like they did but it happens anyways. If a child has some of the same Signs as a parent then they will, I believe, take on naturally the Behaviors of that parent. Another way to say that is when our children have our Signs those Signs in them will get developed based on the connection of traits we have with them. It doesn't mean they will be just like us but that we will have inspired in them the abilities of those like Signs - we project onto our children our own Feelings, Emotions and Thoughts based on the Signs we each have.

It's when we leave the nest that we struggle to overcome much of the perceived bad programming we think we got from our parents. For those of us that had struggles as a child we purposely try not to make many of the same mistakes we feel our parents have made. I think no matter what mistakes we make as parents our children are resilient and they will be able to overcome most of the damage we have done to them. As long as you love them the way you Feel they need to be loved, that's all we can expect.

I feel it would be a mistake to purposely try to "push" your children into their Signs. The opposite is also a mistake - when we try to push our own likes and dislikes unto to their natures. I think it helps to know how they will Feel their way through life and to know where their Emotions are coming from and what their Ego is made of. Knowing how their ASC and Moon Signs are reacting to others will help us to know were they need our support. A child with say a Aries ASC, Cancer Moon, Virgo Sun (my daughter) will be very Emotionally Expressive about how the world is treating it. Understanding her traits gave me an edge in, first of all not just blindly reacting to her and secondly I could know in my heart that this is who she is and try to help her understand herself.

Each of our children will react to situations differently based on the Signs they have inside them and the desired trait of parenting is the ability to rise above our own Feeling and Emotional needs to be able to give our children (and spouse) the love they need. It's hard because we are a product of our own upbringing and all the "baggage" that comes with it. Being able to use the experiences from the Past "Objectively" (without Feeling and Emotion) is what makes us a good parent.

our3minds.com

[Blackempress]

Originally Posted by Our3Minds

I think much of the capabilities and struggles we have in side of all of us are the result of how our Signs were groomed by the childhood we experienced. How our parents were as parents is in our memories and many of us say we aren't ever going to parent like they did but it happens anyways. If a child has some of the same Signs as a parent then they will, I believe, take on naturally the Behaviors of that parent. Another way to say that is when our children have our Signs those Signs in them will get developed based on the connection of traits we have with them. It doesn't mean they will be just like us but that we will have inspired in them the abilities of those like Signs - we project onto our children our own Feelings, Emotions and Thoughts based on the Signs we each have.

It's when we leave the nest that we struggle to overcome much of the perceived bad programming we think we got from our parents. For those of us that had struggles as a child we purposely try not to make many of the same mistakes we feel our parents have made. I think no matter what mistakes we make as parents our children are resilient and they will be able to overcome most of the damage we have done to them. As long as you love them the way you Feel they need to be loved, that's all we can expect.

I feel it would be a mistake to purposely try to "push" your children into their Signs. The opposite is also a mistake - when we try to push our own likes and dislikes unto to their natures. I think it helps to know how they will Feel their way through life and to know where their Emotions are coming from and what their Ego is made of. Knowing how their ASC and Moon Signs are reacting to others will help us to know were they need our support. A child with say a Aries ASC, Cancer Moon, Virgo Sun (my daughter) will be very Emotionally Expressive about how the world is treating it. Understanding her traits gave me an edge in, first of all not just blindly reacting to her and secondly I could know in my heart that this is who she is and try to help her understand herself.

Each of our children will react to situations differently based on the Signs they have inside them and the desired trait of parenting is the ability to rise above our own Feeling and Emotional needs to be able to give our children (and spouse) the love they need. It's hard because we are a product of our own upbringing and all the "baggage" that comes with it. Being able to use the experiences from the Past "Objectively" (without Feeling and Emotion) is what makes us a good parent.

our3minds.com

Very good mix of info!

[greybeard]

Harry Truman said that he thought a good way to raise children was to find out what they liked to do and then encourage them to do it.

What is a "good parent"?

No matter what you do there will always be an unbridgeable gulf between parent and child.

In my view, we do not "own" our children. We are merely stewards.

God did not get parenting right. He gives us all that lusty passion in our youth, which brings children into the world placed under the care of parents who are themselves not yet mature. Parenting should be the job of septagenarians.

In my opinion, all children should be taken from their parents at birth and placed in a Reform School. They should not be returned to their parents until they are fully Reformed, perhaps around the age of 40.

When one of my sons (7 kids, maybe two dozen grandkids, a half-dozen or so great-grandkids) was about 12, a neighbor knocked on my door and asked if I knew my son had been pilfering candy from the machine at the laundromat. No, said I, but now I do. Thanks. Junior was due home from school shortly, and I pondered how to handle this crime. This was the youngest of my kids; I was now an experienced parent, well seasoned, older and more mellow, and figured out how to deliver the message. The kid walked in the door. I was sitting at the table, said Hi, How was school? and asked him to sit down for minute. "Is it true you've been stealing candy at the laundromat?".... A sheepish look, then "Yes."

So I said: 1. You have a sugar addiction. Time for Withdrawal Treatment. No sweets of any sort for 30 days. 2. Had the police gotten in on this, you would be in jail. 30 days confinement to your bedroom. 3. You will march yourself down to the laundromat, confess to the owner, and do whatever work he assigns you until he is satisfied you have repaid the stolen candy. A three-pronged attack, just like Shaka Zulu. I am a parenting genius.

Now that this kid is out of prison, I tend to think I should have taken him to the 2x4 School of Behavioral Therapy, out behind the woodshed. But we never know. Our kids will be what they are no matter what we do.

We are stewards. Feed them, house them, clothe them, keep them healthy, try to educate them, show them what love is, and hope for the best. You can be nothing other than what you are, so do the best you can and enjoy the day.

[Lin]

I think 70 is a bit old to bring up a small child...I think 30-32 is a good age to have a child. But it's our job to raise our OWN kids because they come through us and have our genes.
I know that most of your post was 'tongue in cheek' but I really believe in being the role model from the beginning for our children.

Iwould have done all the same things in the candy pilfering story, but first I would have asked how he actually got the candy out of the machine without paying for it! That's the Gemini in me.

Raising a child to be functional and a useful, creative member of society is the hardest job in the world. Our own childhoods interfere and often we find ourselves saying and doing some of the same **** to our kids as was done (and said...over and over) to us. Our goals should always be to break any cycles that we don't want to promote and extend.

Nowadays, more than ever, the one place parents always felt good about the child being when not at home, school, is a place that is more and more a place that teaches children many behaviors they would never develop if they had been in better schools, or if the schools had more effective ways of dealing with disturbing behavior.
So.... it's harder for parents today than it was before.
But on the other hand, I do not approve of....or rather don't advise...let's say... home schooling. It's a real problem today.

The parents MUST instill good and compassionate values into their children and be very vigilant about their friends and enemies alike. Also they need to know WHO is teaching their children, and what is the philosophy of the particular school the children attend!
LIN

[greybeard]

He had skinny arms. He reached up into the machine through the delivery slot.

Most of what a child learns from you is learned on the unconscious level. Good luck in your parenting adventure.

[dhundhun]

Except few exceptions like Moon representing Motherhood in individual, Sun/Saturn representing Fatherhood and influence of 5th on child, parenting depends on synastry. One child gets more love, attention and care than other.

Parents/Children synastry works slightly in different way and does not follow guidelines/descriptions in books. My son has Uranus opposing my Sun and my daughter has Mars opposing my Sun. But, in Parent/Child relationship, those oppositions acted like sextile.

===
In your chart Moon is lord of 5th, placed in 7th and receives mixed aspects - sextile, trine and two squares. Squares are coming from 4th and 10th houses, indicating trouble through domestic and professional conflicts. Favor is coming from 3rd/9th house, so you may arrange good day care and schooling for your child.

[Blackempress]

Originally Posted by dhundhun

Parents/Children synastry works slightly in different way and does not follow guidelines/descriptions in books. My son has Uranus opposing my Sun and my daughter has Mars opposing my Sun. But, in Parent/Child relationship, those oppositions acted like sextile.

===
In your chart Moon is lord of 5th, placed in 7th and receives mixed aspects - sextile, trine and two squares. Squares are coming from 4th and 10th houses, indicating trouble through domestic and professional conflicts. Favor is coming from 3rd/9th house, so you may arrange good day care and schooling for your child.

Does that really happen in respect to 'difference' of aspects= Opp/sex? Perhaps the child has a different view from yours?

That's sad to know bout my conflicts, but it's always been the same.
Thanks.

[Blackempress]

Good Share Our3Minds, Greybread & Lin!

[dhundhun]

Originally Posted by Blackempress

Does that really happen in respect to 'difference' of aspects= Opp/sex?

Yes. Between two same age individuals Uranus/Mars opposition Sun can create conflict and separation. In case of Parent/Child relationship, both can learn resolving conflict easily. Either kids or me learnt resolving conflicts, while they were quite young. Now both finished MS in computer science (over 25 years without any differences).

When you know to resolve conflict, opposition is likely to become (act like) sextile - it creates opportunities.

[Blackempress]

Originally Posted by dhundhun

Yes. Between two same age individuals Uranus/Mars opposition Sun can create conflict and separation. In case of Parent/Child relationship, both can learn resolving conflict easily. Either kids or me learnt resolving conflicts, while they were quite young. Now both finished MS in computer science (over 25 years without any differences).

When you know to resolve conflict, opposition is likely to become (act like) sextile - it creates opportunities.

Learning this for the first time. Cool!

[greybeard]

It is always instructive to look at oneself in any interpersonal conflict, and ask the question, What is my position really based on? So often it involves "defense of the ego."

[Ixaee]

Have you checked out asteroid Ceres in your chart yet?

Ceres typically represents the mothering energies that you received from your own mother and in turn, how you nurture others, including your own children.

For example; my Ceres is in Taurus, and that's exactly how I nurture! Im very touchy-feely, comforting, always aiming to provide comforts and of course FOOD to those I love and care about..

My mother, on the flip side, only nurtured me by throwing wads of cash at me, or physical items.. she was very stingy and greedy, the negative side of Taurus, but that was her way of attempting to nurture me.. which really didn't work very well afterall, lol...

[Claire19]

Parenting belongs to the 4th house so yours is ruled by Mercury in Gemini in good aspect to Mars in Libra 7th and near the 4th house cusp.
The Sun in Cancer in the 4th although in good aspect to Jupiter has some challenges with the Moon and Mars. It is a mixed bag but intellectual interests are prominent and that child will be intelligent and literary I would say. Possibility of two children. The ruler of your 5th of children is the Moon in Libra again the air element is emphasised with a clever inquisitive child who is lively and restless is in the stars. Not beyond the realms of possibility of twins. You will be more a friend in many ways and seen as youthful.

[Claire19]

Originally Posted by Ixaee

Have you checked out asteroid Ceres in your chart yet?

Ceres typically represents the mothering energies that you received from your own mother and in turn, how you nurture others, including your own children.

For example; my Ceres is in Taurus, and that's exactly how I nurture! Im very touchy-feely, comforting, always aiming to provide comforts and of course FOOD to those I love and care about..

My mother, on the flip side, only nurtured me by throwing wads of cash at me, or physical items.. she was very stingy and greedy, the negative side of Taurus, but that was her way of attempting to nurture me.. which really didn't work very well afterall, lol...

Ceres if anything belong with Virgo and is the asteroid of harvest and grain. Not mothering. It is where the word "cereal" comes from. As an asteroid it has little influence.

[Ixaee]

Originally Posted by Claire19

Ceres if anything belong with Virgo and is the asteroid of harvest and grain. Not mothering. It is where the word "cereal" comes from. As an asteroid it has little influence.

Thank you for your input Claire, but I do feel that every large and small body in the Universe plays some part into our beings. Just as every singular thing in our bodies impact us in some way, whether large or small, seemingly important or not.

This woman's site below is more along the lines of my beliefs in the area of Asteroids, and how they affect us.. the site is a bit new-agey and general, but nonetheless, I feel there is still reason to look deeper into asteroids and understand how they are as much a part of us as anything else in all of existence..

" Think of the key words for each Zodiac sign and house, then, do the same for Ceres, and we will have a good idea as to how Ceres may manifest itself in the signs and houses. Ceres projects nurturing, love, mothering, parenting, grief, despair, depression, love and care of the homeland, the earth, agriculture, gardening foodstuff, nutrition, the Initiation process through childbirth, death, dying and resurrection, and the mysteries behind the hidden veil. "

http://www.dawnastrology.com/Ceres.htm

[greybeard]

Gosh, Ceres sounds like a Horoscope in One. I am discarding all the other planets from here on out. There are something like 2 million asteroids.

I'm sure it's true every body, large and small, in the universe affects us. According to your description of Ceres, it replaces the 12th, 4th, 6th and 8th houses, plus those cumbersome planets the Moon and Saturn, as well as Mars, Mercury, Pluto (who needs a demoted planetoid anyway?) and Neptune, which has always been too nebulous to depend on.

Astrology is powerful and effective because it reduces the entire universe to 7 planets and 12 signs and houses. It simplifies things to the point where we can grasp them, yet has a symbol system large enough to embrace "all things under the sun." Speaking for myself, I am very careful about tinkering with such a system. In the modern world of science there are criteria used for judging theories and mathematical models. Of the 4 major ideas among these criteria is parsimony, which basically says that a system is considered "best" when it employs the fewest elements yet succeeds in describing the natural phenomena with which it is concerned. I think the scientists are onto something.

I am quite sure, without having seen your chart, that the chart will describe you as a parent quite well sans Ceres. One of our problems as students of astrology is that we tend to look for some one planet, or house to portray some particular trait as opposed to all other traits. We tend to ignore "reading the chart as a whole," which is like the blind men touching the elephant and describing it. If we take the trouble (yes, it takes time and effort) to really understand the chart as a whole, the details (Ceres in Taurus in the 5th....) become almost superfluous, because a person's character and destiny are simply projections of the Whole Being (the integrated whole shown by the horoscope) into outer reality. In other words, whether our reference is to parenting, gambling, social relationships collectively or individually...or whatever aspect of self concerns us in particular...the "whole chart" will guide us toward seeing how someone will act or react in any situation.

For example, your mother's chart will show "selfishness", and this trait will be projected not only into her business activities, charitable work, the giving of love...but to "parenting" as well. Your own chart will show how you responded to this type of mothering, and also how you will echo it (project your response complex) as a parent yourself. No Ceres needed.

The chart of each of your kids will in its turn describe how they respond to your own style of mothering. Sometimes the message is not what we want to see and believe, but there it is.

[Ixaee]

Originally Posted by greybeard

I am quite sure, without having seen your chart, that the chart will describe you as a parent quite well sans Ceres. One of our problems as students of astrology is that we tend to look for some one planet, or house to portray some particular trait as opposed to all other traits.

Greybeard; It wasnt my intention to high-jack the OP's thread by mentioning Ceres. I simply offered it as another piece to the puzzle, as I hadn't seen it mentioned yet.

Astrologers (amateurs and professionals) seem to fall into two different categories: those who remain open-minded and work to understand every piece to the puzzle (including asteroids and other "minor" factors), and those who take a look onto asteroids and dismiss them immediately as overly-complicated, unnecessary or downright nonsense.

My mention of Ceres wasn't to say that that is they only possibly factor that could point to, or demonstrate, our parenting styles.. because most of us here know that no single thing in anyone's chart holds the complete picture. It was only but one piece of the pie.


But since this isnt exactly the time nor place to discuss the validity of asteroids; I'll leave it up the the OP to determine if she'd like to include that in her gathering of possible parental influences..... or not.

[Claire19]

Originally Posted by Ixaee

Thank you for your input Claire, but I do feel that every large and small body in the Universe plays some part into our beings. Just as every singular thing in our bodies impact us in some way, whether large or small, seemingly important or not.

This woman's site below is more along the lines of my beliefs in the area of Asteroids, and how they affect us.. the site is a bit new-agey and general, but nonetheless, I feel there is still reason to look deeper into asteroids and understand how they are as much a part of us as anything else in all of existence..

" Think of the key words for each Zodiac sign and house, then, do the same for Ceres, and we will have a good idea as to how Ceres may manifest itself in the signs and houses. Ceres projects nurturing, love, mothering, parenting, grief, despair, depression, love and care of the homeland, the earth, agriculture, gardening foodstuff, nutrition, the Initiation process through childbirth, death, dying and resurrection, and the mysteries behind the hidden veil. "

http://www.dawnastrology.com/Ceres.htm

As there are thousands of asteroids and they are only space junk and often broken bits of old planets I dont use them. Ceres cannot possibly project all that you list. I dont know where you get all that info. Someone made that up. It may be connected with agriculture such as harvesting of grains and cereals and nutrition in that way and our digestive processes. You are not adhering to astrological principles.

[Claire19]

Originally Posted by Ixaee

Greybeard; It wasnt my intention to high-jack the OP's thread by mentioning Ceres. I simply offered it as another piece to the puzzle, as I hadn't seen it mentioned yet.

Astrologers (amateurs and professionals) seem to fall into two different categories: those who remain open-minded and work to understand every piece to the puzzle (including asteroids and other "minor" factors), and those who take a look onto asteroids and dismiss them immediately as overly-complicated, unnecessary or downright nonsense.

My mention of Ceres wasn't to say that that is they only possibly factor that could point to, or demonstrate, our parenting styles.. because most of us here know that no single thing in anyone's chart holds the complete picture. It was only but one piece of the pie.


But since this isnt exactly the time nor place to discuss the validity of asteroids; I'll leave it up the the OP to determine if she'd like to include that in her gathering of possible parental influences..... or not.

Where do you get your sources? If there is little info on Ceres and asteroids in general there is a reason for that. You are quoting some online source that has no basis in fact. I have been an astrologer for many many years and I remain open minded but bits of space junk floating around in the solar system have no effect, no matter how big or what name we may give it.

[Blackempress]

Originally Posted by Ixaee

Have you checked out asteroid Ceres in your chart yet?

Ceres typically represents the mothering energies that you received from your own mother and in turn, how you nurture others, including your own children.

I'm open to options despite many being against using the asteriods. I'm keeping on with the debate & will look into further info.

Originally Posted by greybeard

One of our problems as students of astrology is that we tend to look for some one planet, or house to portray some particular trait as opposed to all other traits. We tend to ignore "reading the chart as a whole," which is like the blind men touching the elephant and describing it. Your own chart will show how you responded to this type of mothering, and also how you will echo it (project your response complex) as a parent yourself. No Ceres needed.

The chart of each of your kids will in its turn describe how they respond to your own style of mothering. Sometimes the message is not what we want to see and believe, but there it is.

Agreed bout the need to see the WHOLE chart but need to understand all the pieces of the pie to really put it together for the final look. There is indeed alot that needs simplification to understand. That was the idea of starting this thread. I wanted to know how to see the chart as a whole to comment on what type of parent one is & how they could actually help their children for counselling purpose.

Originally Posted by Claire19

Parenting belongs to the 4th house so yours is ruled by Mercury in Gemini in good aspect to Mars in Libra 7th and near the 4th house cusp.
The Sun in Cancer in the 4th although in good aspect to Jupiter has some challenges with the Moon and Mars. It is a mixed bag but intellectual interests are prominent and that child will be intelligent and literary I would say. Possibility of two children. The ruler of your 5th of children is the Moon in Libra again the air element is emphasised with a clever inquisitive child who is lively and restless is in the stars. Not beyond the realms of possibility of twins. You will be more a friend in many ways and seen as youthful.

That surely sounds like me in total! Amazing input as always!