When will I accept that he is out of my life?

mara21 · #1 10-21-2011, 10:56 AM

Hi, I need your oppinions once more. My question is "When will I finally accept the fact that he is out of my life and move on?"
It has been a year now since we broke up, but I still find myself daydreaming about him and wishing him back. And it makes me anxious. This week is one of those bad ones. My wish is to feel indiferent to him.

Ascedent is late meaning that I am disturbed by this matter. I am not sure is it the 1st or 7th house question. To me it looks like 1st house matter.

I am represented by the Mars and the Moon. Both peregrine, both in 9th house, under the rulership of the Sun, but the Sun is in its fall. Cadent house, fixed signs, it looks to me that I am not moving anywhere soon. The ninth house is of great importance here, but I can't interprete why?
Mars is applying to Saturn, malefic, ruler of the 3rd. The comunicating with him, wich I can't avoid totally, is hurting me. Do I look at other aspects too? Or only the first one?
North node in 1st, are there some lucky changes on the way?
Any thoughts?
Thanks

dreamtimez · #2 10-25-2011, 06:40 PM

The ascendant is late. Its not the right time ... ask again !

mara21 · #3 10-27-2011, 11:29 AM

Dear Dreamtimez,
Thank you very much for your reply.

misskitty · #4 10-27-2011, 11:04 PM

I agree, ask again after a few months have passed. In the meantime, I highly recommend this:
http://www.amazon.com/Its-Called-Bre.../dp/0767921852

mara21 · #5 10-28-2011, 07:55 AM

Read it, I mean the part that are available for free.
Thanks Misskitty!
I would hate to be one of those people who just can't move on. That is why I asked the question in a fist place.
Best wishes to you all!

rafaella · #6 10-29-2011, 03:10 AM

Late ASC seems to show you being powerless at this time and nothing you can do right now, but just be strong and work your way out of it. Give it more time.

Mars, your ruler is peregrine, and so wandering aimlessly. Moon is also in the same way peregrine and squaring both Mercury (general ruler of thought/communication) and his ruler Venus in the 12th. Venus is quite malefic and in detriment in this house of self undoing. So I'd think you have yet to get over him, not time yet. He is particularly bad, he must have hurt you really badly somehow? It looks like you better off without him, judgeing by the chart. He is also with someone else now or about to, looks like (Mercury is the other one conjunct Mars)

Neptune in the 3rd is also clouding your judgement and making you confused. Saturn ruler of 3rd is combust. I think when Sun moves into the next sign, you may start feeling better in about 3 units - 3 months. And the transformation will be complete when Moon/Mars conjucnt - 6 months? Moon represents your emotional nature, Mars your thinking one. They merge together bringing together those two sides of you.

Hope this helps!

mara21 · #7 10-29-2011, 10:40 PM

Oh it does help!

Thank you Rafaella!

And you are right, about me wondering around. One moment thinking I am OK, just to caught myself the next one that I'm not.

And you were right about everything else. He did hurt me very badly. And yes, he is with someone else now. Married. Within six months he told me he loved me, left me, found someone else, got married. It was like bang, bang, bang, one bad news after another.

It is good to hear that when spring comes I will be like I was before. Cheerful and happy. I hate being gloomy and sad. Especially for one who doesn't deserve it.

rafaella · #8 10-30-2011, 12:59 AM

Oh thats awful, you definitely are better off without this guy!!!...yes. I think you never got proper closure from him, maybe that's why you still hold on to him and the memory of what you had. Normally when a relationship ends, you get a warning months before because things start falling apart...but seems in your case things were good until one day he just left...

If I were you, I would write a letter to him (but not send it to him), just write it and pour out everything that you want to say to him, how hurt you feel etc....and then burn that letter. This I find helps me when I am feeling down about something, maybe it will help you too. Also a journal could be of help where you write down thoughts and concerns. Another thing, try find something to do in your free time, hobbies, make new friendships... I find one tends to get more depressed when spending too much time by oneself. Those depressing thoughts are not faraway....hehe

You will get much stronger emotionally and mentally from all this, you already have...some lessons that are very hard are the greatest treasures. Great success comes by first expereincing adversity.

Hopefully one day you will meet the man that will treat you the right way! Ans I'm sure you will...

Take care :-)

tikana · #9 10-30-2011, 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mara21

Hi, I need your oppinions once more. My question is "When will I finally accept the fact that he is out of my life and move on?"
It has been a year now since we broke up, but I still find myself daydreaming about him and wishing him back. And it makes me anxious. This week is one of those bad ones. My wish is to feel indiferent to him.

Ascedent is late meaning that I am disturbed by this matter. I am not sure is it the 1st or 7th house question. To me it looks like 1st house matter.

I am represented by the Mars and the Moon. Both peregrine, both in 9th house, under the rulership of the Sun, but the Sun is in its fall. Cadent house, fixed signs, it looks to me that I am not moving anywhere soon. The ninth house is of great importance here, but I can't interprete why?
Mars is applying to Saturn, malefic, ruler of the 3rd. The comunicating with him, wich I can't avoid totally, is hurting me. Do I look at other aspects too? Or only the first one?
North node in 1st, are there some lucky changes on the way?
Any thoughts?
Thanks

u guys look at this chart all wrong
She is Mars her moon is in Leo and fixed house
both in the middle of a sign .. NO CHANGES
not only that but moon and mars are in fixed house
SO it will be ALOOOOOONG TIME before the querent recoups from this guy
also notice that venus is in fixed sign and cadent house
you are looking into 2+ years

rafaella · #10 10-30-2011, 01:26 AM

Well Moon and Mars, both rulers of the querent will conjunct and that's what I look at. As it seems querent emotional part and the thinking one don't go together at this time. So in this case Moon and Mars would be the 2 significators we would be looking at. Moon is yet to square Venus, but it will eventually conjucnt Mars. Timing wise, fixed sign is the slowest, but cadent house is the fastest (according to my research). Angular house is the slowest, it says. With this timing interpretation, it would be 6 months. Could be a bit more because of Moon/Venus aspect, but I don't believe its years.

The querent has alsready been dealing with this for one year, so another 6 months seems plausible to me....Another thing is the ASC is late, so I find one has to take that into consideration. The chart can't be read literally as it has considerations before judgement. I would advice the querent to ask this question again in 3-6 months time.

tikana · #11 10-30-2011, 01:30 AM

fixed and out of cadent house - months? not a chance.. it is indefinite at best.... as far as late asce - querent already knows the answer

T

rafaella · #12 10-30-2011, 03:41 AM

Well I have been researching timing a lot lately and Frawley says Cadent house is fastest - literally 'falling'. Angular house of their nature is slows, equate with fixed signs. But then he says angular house has good deal of accidental dignity, so that becomes faster. He says angular becomes fast only if there is volition, if the significator in the angular can or is able to 'act' then it becomes fast, but naturally angular are slow. Yes, very confusing but interesting. This is a new theory even to me as I have been used to believeing cadent and fixed to be very slow and angular to mean fastest....

In this chart, if we go by Frawley's theory - fixed sign is slowest however because its cadent it becomes faster - so months.

Leehman says timing for fixed and cadent is 'unknown'. I guess that unknown could be weeks, months and years...it can be anything. Leehman mentions when late ASC the querent can't do much to effect the outcome, the outcome has already happened but the querent doesn't know it yet. I suppose in this case, the querent knows she needs to move on but doesn't know how....

mara21 · #13 10-31-2011, 10:35 AM

Hi guys,
Big thanks from all my heart to Rafaella for her advices and wishes.

I have already sign myself to a learning language course and dancing classes. It did help a lot. I never thought about writing a journal, but think I will give it a go. And I like the idea of writing a letter to him. I've did a lot of arguing with him in my head, maybe I should write it down.

As for the late ASC I assure you I don't know the answer. Knowing answer would indicate that I know, from my past experiences, how long it lasted before. But something like this has never happened to me. I was heartbroken, but never let down like this.

mara21 · #14 11-01-2011, 09:12 AM

Forgot to thank Tikana for her help. Sorry!

misskitty · #15 11-03-2011, 01:53 AM

Sorry to hear about what happened. I think Rafaella is right, you are having trouble moving on because you received no closure. I can attest to the difficulty of that, I went through the same type of breakup and it has taken almost a year to understand that you may never GET closure from someone who is obviously not right in the head... and that that is okay. You will move on when you realize that his leaving had nothing to do with you.

As for the chart, the guy is in detriment in your 12 house. He is bad, bad news. Feel grateful that he chose to inflict himself on someone else and not you.

mara21 · #16 11-03-2011, 10:53 PM

It is strange how one honest conversation could have made all the difference.
You are right, I still wish I had that. Just one honest talk.

misskitty · #17 11-04-2011, 02:43 AM

Well, as I said, you can't get a normal ending from someone who isn't normal. I really think he did you a big favor by excusing himself from your life.

mara21 · #18 11-05-2011, 10:39 PM

Hey guys, I am back with some news. My friends told me today that his wife is pregnant. So I did a little bit of crying, I do find crying very beneficial.
And then I set down to look at the chart. I was really curious does it show this happening.

There is an aspect perfection between Mars and Saturn in 2,1 degrees. So, two weeks have passed and I've received news concerning my question. Sextile should be good news, but when put in context of my question, it is good news, I think. If that does not make me move on, then really...
Rafaella wrote:

Quote:

Leehman says timing for fixed and cadent is 'unknown'. I guess that unknown could be weeks, months and years...it can be anything. Leehman mentions when late ASC the querent can't do much to effect the outcome, the outcome has already happened but the querent doesn't know it yet.

It fits, doesn't it?

mara21 · #19 03-03-2012, 01:54 PM

Hi,
I wanted to inform you about my situation right now. Looks like Rafaela was right on the spot with timing.
What has happened: 3 months after asking the question I moved to a different town, got an offer for a new job (out of nowhere). Removing myself from situation where his presence can't be avoid was the best thing that could happen to me.
Yesterday I realised that almost whole week has passed without me thinking about him.
I am feeling very good and I am very happy it is over.
Thank you all for your help, it was really very hard time for me.

misskitty · #20 03-03-2012, 03:49 PM

I am so happy for you Mara! And thanks so much for the update! Good luck with your upcoming adventures.

rafaella · #21 03-04-2012, 04:36 AM

Great news!!! Very happy things are working out for you Mara!

Good to know Frawley's timing method is accurate....

All the best!

dreamtimez · #22 03-04-2012, 09:47 AM

Happy for you

mara21 · #23 03-04-2012, 02:43 PM

Thank you all once again.

akp124 · #24 03-17-2012, 02:48 PM

You are so awesome for moving on. I broke up with my ex in November of last year. He was my first boyfriend and everything. Still can't get over him. I asked on this site and posted a chart almost the same question as you but never received an answer. lol It's cool though. And doing activities will keep your mind (and my mind) off the ex. I just wonder how long its gonna be for me.