mid life major -->crisis<----

[pollinom]

hi all;

i am experiencing what could be the biggest crisis of my life, on the verge of a mental breakdown while trying to stay the course and change my life. I've been trying to figure it all out by delving into astrology, spirituality, scientology, anything that can help me figure out this course that took me here and how to change it for the better, in the meantime trying to keep my head above water in this economy...there is a part of me that knows it's always darkest before dawn, but i've had enuf.
i'm posting my chart, birth and Solar return, - then a re-locational chart as I am moving to Los Angeles or at least trying to..i am a creative- i make movies, and tv, and every project i have has hit a stalemate- im just freaking tired..and wanna give up, but ..

[Rawndawndawnski]

What exactly are you going through? I'm not qualified to give you astrology information.

Is it financial? Or is it psychological in general? Psychological in the sense of emotional pain, isolation, depression, things like that.


First thing I would suggest is to go back through your message and capitalize your sentences. Make it look neat and flashy. It will help in calming you down.

I'm not from the States, but physical labour tends to be the easiest method to make funds. Heck, it can sometimes pay more then most jobs requiring a bachelors; especially up here. For a summer job I only make 23/h, the others 25/h, and yet a sampler, who sits around for 10 hours out of their 12 hour shift makes 28/h. Labour people can make, starting, 32+/h. If you're alone, there is the possibility that you can live off a camp at some major industry. Housing is typically free at these places.

If it is psychological the first thing you should try and stimulating the frontal lobe in a sense without drug involvement. Try writing with your opposite hand for example. Trying new things is the best method of dealing with stresses. Try gaming on a PC with a nice single player game.

Hope this helps in some way. Astrology is not going to directly solve your issue. Maybe give you some insight or a different perspective on things.

[danashock]

holy transit! you have major planets transitting very important points in your chart,let me ellaborate:

did you know that uranus is currently conjoining your sun and mercury? i am assuming that a sudden change of the house is very likely currently. it is also possible that there could be some real upheaval in your country thats making you move out.where do you live?

But you know, this transit isnt all bad,its actually a great and rare chance mentally speaking. Try to make the best out of this transit intellectually because it can give you the ability to be very creative and learn new things very very fast. read,learn something u really wanted to learn,

how is money going? pluto is transiting your second house (been there for like 3 years or so) and will be for a very long time. This means that your finances and idea of money are going to absolutely change in the upcoming years.Try to save up some money in cash form. Something about your chart makes me feel that love partners/spouces may have used you financially so be careful of that too. The good thing that may come out of this long time transit is that you can receive money from inheritence but i cannot specify whom for now.

Neptune is conjoining your saturn and opposing your uranus (i would also consider it in opposition with pluto) and i feel that youre having an extra difficult time verbalizing and articulating whats on your mind without people hearing it with distrotion (which is probably an older issue but now it's surfacing again) and with the homey and family cancerian feeling of your family it could also be some problem with a sibling of yours.

There is *alot* more that I am able to perceive,but if you want you can go to my website and get a full reading (very good price). I would definitely love to share everything I see with you and give your chart the attention it truly deserves.

Good luck with this transit and always remember to channel the energies in the way that benefits you (example: use the uranus genius instead of making it chaotic).Plus it is okay to take a break as it can get quite challenging so why not take a slower pace.

[pollinom]

Thanks for your feedback, it's just hitting me extra hard right now, and it's pretty much everything hitting me, my life choices- my career, my home and family everything all at once. I rarely look at transits as i believe they are so fleeting, i'm always looking into solar returns- but yes i know they can hit hard especially when your combining, progressive chart and SR and transits. I'll check out your website for some more information,
thanks

[danashock]

Originally Posted by pollinom

Thanks for your feedback, it's just hitting me extra hard right now, and it's pretty much everything hitting me, my life choices- my career, my home and family everything all at once. I rarely look at transits as i believe they are so fleeting, i'm always looking into solar returns- but yes i know they can hit hard especially when your combining, progressive chart and SR and transits. I'll check out your website for some more information,
thanks

The reason I am addressing the transit as THE most important triggers for these changes you are facing is that they are outer planets (uranus/neptune/pluto) and their effect lasts years long as they move slowly and stay many years in a single sign (with the minimum of 7 years as the case is with uranus).

In your case several of them are making very strong aspects with your natal planets (mainly tight conjunctions and oppositions),and that is why i am placing such a large weight on transits.

I have received your email and I'm very glad you have visited my website

[sageofaquarius]

Hi pollinom
I'm a firm believer in transits - they are a direct correlation between where the planets are now and where they were when you were born. This is a prime base in astrology, IMO. Progressions and solar returns are intellectual conceits by comparison. Astrologers, feel free to unleash the verbal hounds of hell – Mercury opposes Pluto today!
Mars, the ancient ruler of your ascendant, has just crossed your descendant and you now have the courage to face the major changes you're experiencing by seeking advice from the outside world. Congratulations, you have started your journey out of the woods.
By transit, you have recently experienced Saturn in your 10th house of career opposing your Sun and Mercury in the 4th house of the home. In other words, the structuring element of your career has been challenging your home base, and you felt the need to move house in order to advance your prospects. But Saturn has recently moved direct and into your 11th house. That confrontation is now less intense and the battle concerning your change of home base is focused on Uranus's conjunction with Mercury. You are now faced with communicating what this revolutionary upheaval will mean for family members.
Early on Tuesday (June 21) you experience the Sun square your natal Sun and may expect the family to challenge you to prove that what you are doing is worthwhile. At exactly the same time, however, you will experience the Sun trine your natal Saturn, and you will realise your career structures are valid. You are competent both in your career and as a caring homemaker. Proceed.
Mercury square Mercury, however, which also occurs at the same time, will cause you to challenge some of your basic beliefs. It's operating from the 8th house of sex and death. Are you in some way reticent about letting your children see your work? Is it perhaps too sexual or morbid? Be true to your own beliefs but allow the younger generation to make up their own minds. This could be a critical day when the generational divide is made manifest. The trick is to remain flexible. You do what you believe in order to put bread on the table and a roof over heads; if they disapprove they must find their own way. Your mental attitude is very good at this time, Mercury sextiles Uranus and the Midheaven and conjuncts the Moon's North Node, which is your way forward. All positive. Keep your home environment how you like it and don't give space to aggressive argument.
The big downside at this time is Venus's square to Pluto. You will be forced to accommodate any changes you are proposing into a relationship, and relationships require a certain degree of stability which will not be available now. Resist the temptation to impose feelings of guilt about your proposed changes on a loved one; concentrate instead on the growth that will be fostered in your relationship.
Mars sextiles your natal Sun at the same moment that it squares natal Saturn in the 3rd. Just as you pacify the home crowd, the structure that enables your communication comes under duress. You feel you're compromising your message in order to pacify the family. So be it. That's art. In a month's time, Jupiter trines Uranus and your Midheaven, and your career expands in a futuristic way that was quite unforeseen. Big screen.
Neptune is currently transiting Saturn in your 3rd house of communication. Saturn here represents the communicating structures that you have established and Neptune is the tide that rushes in to wash away those elements which are not going to stand the test of time. Neptune is currently retrograde, so it has already had a first brush against your castle walls, now it's coming back to see what else is superfluous. On January 22nd next year it passes Saturn for the third and final time ensuring that what remains is the structure that will endure for the rest of your life. You will be ready for the new season.
At this point I should say a thing or two about film. My view is that movies represent an artistic bridge between the Age of Pisces, ruled by Neptune, and the Age of Aquarius, ruled by Uranus. Neptune is associated with petroleum and the chemicals that make film stock, whereas Uranus is the epitome of computerisation and the digital age. So the primary means of entertainment across the divide between these two periods which we are currently experiencing is called movies – and they are of two types – film and digital, Neptunian and Uranian. I would suggest that with Uranus within 1 degree of your Midheaven (how the public sees your work), transformational Pluto in your 10th house of career and Neptune in the 12th house of hiding in dark places and watching illusions play upon an internal wall, you in some way represent the current state of cinema – is it film or is it television? I would suggest that your current problems are not entirely your own but represent changes which are happening to society which is having to decide how it wants to be entertained and what it wants to be entertained by. You are a child of your times. There will be ups, there will be downs.
By chance yesterday I was looking at a post entitled "Maladies and Degrees of the Zodiac." The fixed star Scheat at 29 deg Pisces is said to give extreme misfortune, suicide, drowning and perhaps murder. Your sun is at 29 Pisces. I can understand how you feel, but I'm certain you're not about to externalise these feelings in the real world. Cinema now, ah, that's a different matter.
Best wishes.
sage

[danashock]

Sageofaquarius,

Lovely post and great insight,respect.

Lol I was just telling her earlier about the scheat star,I am glad you have addressed it here as well. And mercury opposite pluto! no wonder i was getting paranoid lately about sounding too harsh/rude. But I absolutely agree with you on the matter of transits.

[pollinom]

yea i just finished taking it all in, it is amazing how much insight these transits , and maybe now i am just really taking notice..

"Mars sextiles your natal Sun at the same moment that it squares natal Saturn in the 3rd. Just as you pacify the home crowd, the structure that enables your communication comes under duress. You feel you're compromising your message in order to pacify the family. So be it. That's art. In a month's time, Jupiter trines Uranus and your Midheaven, and your career expands in a futuristic way that was quite unforeseen. Big screen."

i am thinking about giving an ultimatum to my investors ( oddly enough cancers-8th house) in order to do this film in October, we need the money in by July-next month...

By chance yesterday I was looking at a post entitled "Maladies and Degrees of the Zodiac." The fixed star Scheat at 29 deg Pisces is said to give extreme misfortune, suicide, drowning and perhaps murder. Your sun is at 29 Pisces. I can understand how you feel, but I'm certain you're not about to externalise these feelings in the real world. Cinema now, ah, that's a different matter.

at first after reading this i thought about other pisceans born 29 degrees, Bruce Willis, ( violent action films) Harvey Weinsten- (Pulp Fiction- very violent film) Brett Ratner ( action/violent movie director- but then again, there is Glenn Close(Jagged Edge/Fatal Attraction) and Holly Hunter (the movie Crash)
pretty darn interesting...

[pollinom]

thank you for your insight sage

[Flowergirl]

Pollinom, in addition to what the other posters said, I just want to mention that Uranus is also transiting your Sun. It is a few degrees away from it now but it will retrograde back towards it again in the coming months. You'll be experiencing a lot of disruptions to your life path and how you express yourself and how you know yourself. It sounds classic to what you are experiencing. I mention this because I am also a 29 Pisces sun and have had a lot of changes to my sense of self. Open yourself up to the change with this transit and let it happen, don't fear it. It will reveal a new path and side of yourself that you WILL LOVE.

Also keep in mind that you have more than one transit going on. Transit Chiron and transit Neptune will also be doing a dance with your natal Saturn well up into 2012.

all the best

[pollinom]

thanks Flowergirl, i've never felt this much intensity and power and change and death and life all at once all I want to do is channel it in a way that is productive and creative- do you feel that? How does this happen for you, how do feel about the 29th degree and it's history. How do you feel it affects you

[Flowergirl]

It's interesting to hear you talk about feeling like death, when Transit Pluto (your chart ruler) is conjunct your South Node right now. It sounds like your comfort zone is under heavy transformation and you are being pushed toward your life purpose (North node). I have the same experience but with a different planet. Transit Neptune (my chart ruler) is conjunct my south node. It's powerful stuff!

I experience my natal sun under a kind of change and awakening under transit Uranus. I've never know my Self and my inner workings as well as I do now. Funny, this transit must have started around the time I began studying astrology and astrology being Uranian.

As far as my natal sun goes, I have a lot of hard aspects to my sun, that you don't have, so maybe our experiences are not so comparable. But I do feel that my sun has always been a very difficult energy to express. I've written about it before in other posts on this forum. I have grown a lot in the last few months since I've begun studying astrology. But I haven't quite gotten it together, as far as my 29* sun goes... yet.

[pollinom]

@Flowergurl, i think you might be in your early 30's? if so that's when all this began for me....I started this path in my early 30's during my Saturn return, becasue iw as facing a huge life decision...and here i am now looking back at the decision and saying, wow, BAD decision, but in many ways good because it brought me to my knees here and looking for a complete and utter transformation in life and is forcing me to take my dreams to reality ( or to Hollywood) which is a a place I ran from years ago..
ahhh life is funny..