difficult times.

Hsar · #1 04-12-2011, 07:49 PM

Hello everyone.
Im going through a difficult time right now, and to be honest, the past few years have been difficult. I don't want to sound whiney, and I do realise my life isn't as difficult as al lot of other people, but it seems I just sabbotage myself all the time. I've been told I have some difficult saturn positions, and according to my forecast on astro.com I don't have a lot to look forward to.
Could someone please take a look at my chart and maybe tell me if there is something to look forward too ? Or maybe just explain why 'bad' times seem to last a lot longer than good times. Or just some kind of insight to why I seem to make my own life so difficult?

Thanks in advance !

R4VEN · #2 04-13-2011, 01:31 AM

Hsar, by the tone of your post I felt that Neptune would be involved, and it has been for some time. I have uploaded your chart with transits in a format which I find easier to read.

yes, your Saturn is `unfortunate', but this is a challenge, rather than a nasty twist of fate. Your Saturn opposes your Sun, and this can describe a reserved and wary approach when dealing with others. You may feel very blocked for the early part of your life - until after your Saturn Return at age 29 - but this is a test and something you have a need to work with.

You have a number of oppositions and squares on your chart, and this means that you have a number of personal blocks to deal with. One of your squares is between Moon and Neptune. I have this, and I am familiar with its high levels of sensitivity - where you may be overly sensitive to what others say to you, or you may misinterpret how others react to you. You no doubt feel and sense what some others are unable to sense; this also means that you sense your astrological cycles with more intensity than most others do, which is probably why you currently feel as low as you do.

As to what has been happening to you lately, you have 2 outer planets which have been causing some delays in you being able to get things going in your life:
Transiting Pluto has been conjunct your natal Neptune, and this causes confusion in some more sensitive people. Pluto has also been squaring your Moon at the same time, so you have been feeling somewhat unloved and unnurtured; although this time is so that you can figure out ways in which you can nurture yourself.
Transiting Neptune has been squaring firstly your Taurus Ascendant, and then your Taurus Sun - beginning a little over 4 years ago, and moving away now, but perhaps you may not be fully out of the woods until the end of 2011. This is a very tough transit!! You feel drained and low in energy and motivation, your best-laid plans are continually thwarted, and help and assistance from others is not forthcoming. You life direction - i.e. where you are headed - is not at all clear at this time, and you may feel as though there is `something' blocking your life. I think that this is the transit which is colouring your view of life at the moment. The purpose of this time in your life is for you to find out who you really are. Delving into astrology is a good start.

As with all things, this time will eventually be over, and you will experience more clarity as this year progresses.

Hsar · #3 04-13-2011, 08:07 AM

Wow - first of all, thank you so much for your insight and fast reply

I am actually lost for words.
I can't begin to say how much this makes sense !
I am very aware of my over sensitive nature, and I've been struggling with it ever since I was a child.
but a little over 4 years ago (!!!) I got into a major depression, got over it with medication, but since than I relapsed a couple of times, and I'm trying realy hard to cope with this without medication, because I am aware of the fact that I am so sensitive, and I want to learn to deal with it on my own.
This being said, these depressions also did a lot of good things, because I was forced to deal with many things I had been ignoring before. So I can see the good in this, but still, it's very exhausting, and it's so relieving to read it's going to be over soon.

again, thank you so much !

R4VEN · #4 04-13-2011, 08:24 AM

(Seems we're online @ the same time, so..............)

Anyone with Moon square Neptune will be more susceptible to becoming depressed than one who does not have this placement natally. Water-sign Moons are also more likely to lead to depression. Your Moon is in Aries, so you are not as susceptible as some others, BUT..............
Any harsh transits of transiting Neptune to your planets, as well as your Ascendant will knock the stuffing out of you.

If you can't yet read transits, then I would suggest that you learn how to do this. All you need is your chart, an ephemeris, and very basic maths skills. In this way, you can keep track of any of the planets - especially those from Saturn outwards - which may be triggering that Moon-Neptune square by either conjunction, square or opposition. Knowledge is power where a planetary configuration like that is concerned.

[Just as an addition to what we have discussed here, I notice that Your 4th house - of home, family of origin, and line of heredity - is ruled by Cancer, which for you is your Moon in Aries. I suspect that much of your depression has its origins in either your early home life, or some factors in your heredity of which you may not even be consciously be aware. This is a complex subject just in itself, but it is also one which fascinates me.]

07.Re · #5 04-13-2011, 08:32 AM

Hsar, your MC is Saturn ruled which indicates a controlled public persona and your Moon also trines Saturn. Do you feel with the depression that you have to keep your emotions under control or reserved, rarely if at all sharing with others what you feel, for fear of being seen as weak?

Hsar · #6 04-13-2011, 09:02 AM

@ R4VEN Depression runs in my family indeed, and when I was very young my mother was depressed. I don't remember anything about that because I was too young, but with my sensitivity, I must have picked up on it, I guess.

@ 07 Re Emotions are always very tsunami like to me, so I don't have them under control at al. And I actually talk about my feelings alot, maybe even too much, but I suspect it's kind of a defense mechanism, also, because apparently I come across as a very confident person, which I'm not I somehow feel like I have to overcompensate by showing my 'weak' side. I don't realy know why I do that. On the other hand, with the people closest to me, I do worry that I come across as being very weak or pathethic because they get to see all my 'ugly' sides
It's kind of hard to explain. Does any of this make sense ?

07.Re · #7 04-13-2011, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hsar

Does any of this make sense ?

Yes absolutely. I'm sorry you're experiencing depression. It's important to surround yourself with friends and family who are able to support you through the dark times....and it sounds like you've done that.

Studying your chart and transits should help.

Good luck.

R4VEN · #8 04-14-2011, 01:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hsar

@ R4VEN Depression runs in my family indeed, and when I was very young my mother was depressed. I don't remember anything about that because I was too young, but with my sensitivity, I must have picked up on it, I guess.

Hsar, indeed a sensitive child - especially one with Moon and Neptune squared, where Moon = Mother, and Neptune = blurred boundaries with the mother - will pick up the mother's whole emotional state, interpret it with themselves at the centre, and then sit with it until it all seeps to the surface. This is not a doomed state at all. It is possible to work consciously with the belief systems which feed your depression, and one-by-one deciding what belongs to your mother, and what belongs to you. It is tedious, but it can be done..... and astrology helps with the self-definition.

[I have been ploughing through the fears and beliefs my mother had for me, and which I picked up and `swallowed' during the 9 months she breast-fed me - 62 years ago!!! Such is the power/nature of Moon-Neptune square........... although to be honest, my own Moon is in Cancer, and in the 6th house, and so more susceptible to absorbing `mother' directly into my body.]

sleepy17 · #9 04-14-2011, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by R4VEN

Hsar, by the tone of your post I felt that Neptune would be involved, and it has been for some time. I have uploaded your chart with transits in a format which I find easier to read.

yes, your Saturn is `unfortunate', but this is a challenge, rather than a nasty twist of fate. Your Saturn opposes your Sun, and this can describe a reserved and wary approach when dealing with others. You may feel very blocked for the early part of your life - until after your Saturn Return at age 29 - but this is a test and something you have a need to work with.

You have a number of oppositions and squares on your chart, and this means that you have a number of personal blocks to deal with. One of your squares is between Moon and Neptune. I have this, and I am familiar with its high levels of sensitivity - where you may be overly sensitive to what others say to you, or you may misinterpret how others react to you. You no doubt feel and sense what some others are unable to sense; this also means that you sense your astrological cycles with more intensity than most others do, which is probably why you currently feel as low as you do.

As to what has been happening to you lately, you have 2 outer planets which have been causing some delays in you being able to get things going in your life:
Transiting Pluto has been conjunct your natal Neptune, and this causes confusion in some more sensitive people. Pluto has also been squaring your Moon at the same time, so you have been feeling somewhat unloved and unnurtured; although this time is so that you can figure out ways in which you can nurture yourself.
Transiting Neptune has been squaring firstly your Taurus Ascendant, and then your Taurus Sun - beginning a little over 4 years ago, and moving away now, but perhaps you may not be fully out of the woods until the end of 2011. This is a very tough transit!! You feel drained and low in energy and motivation, your best-laid plans are continually thwarted, and help and assistance from others is not forthcoming. You life direction - i.e. where you are headed - is not at all clear at this time, and you may feel as though there is `something' blocking your life. I think that this is the transit which is colouring your view of life at the moment. The purpose of this time in your life is for you to find out who you really are. Delving into astrology is a good start.

As with all things, this time will eventually be over, and you will experience more clarity as this year progresses.

Everybody has their own problem, it's just how you will faced them or handle it. Just be brave.
Anyway nice post, thanks for sharing them, I hope that my year will going to be well.

Hsar · #10 05-03-2011, 10:44 PM

oh, I didn't notice there gave been mor replies! Thank you all very much for your kind support !

So according to astrodotcom the next couple of months, until march 2012 won't be very pleasant, but when I read my taurus horoscope strating now, untill may next year, this will be the most amazing year ever, something to do with jupiter ?

I'm obviously hoping that the last bit is true, but I'm guessing it's not, maybe something in-between ?

Basically I'm wondering if I have something to look forward to.

again, thank you all very very much, I appreciate this alot.