KARMA AND RELATIONSHIPS by Farley Malorrus
This is from my Book: "Twilight's First Gleaming" at
Karma and Relationships
This topic, extracted from Farley Malorrus' shows on June 4, 1987, August 12, 1987 and September 19, 1988, covered various aspects on the subject of Karma and relationships.
Consider that the Universe is a reflection of the self. As the self is the Universe, the Universe is the self. Meaning; that whatever you are as an individual, you can really understand what you have in your life by taking a look around you. For instance, the home, city and environment you live in, your career, neighbors, friends, family, and even the bum that lives in the park across the street. Everyone in your life is literally a reflection of the self. Also, if you feel that your life is a mess, or that you're going to die, and most things in your life are negative, scary and freaking you out, then you need to do some deep Soul searching. This aspect of Metaphysics is Karma because we create that part of our own Universe which becomes immediately sensitized by us. Which means that everything in your life is a reflection of you.
If you examine the people you spend time with, date, bond, and make commitments to or marry, you might think that you're very different from the other person. Most of the problems in relationships, leading to a break up, are because both will say "But we are so different." "We have nothing in common." Notice here that both people are saying the same thing. Metaphysically speaking, the person you are around, that you have attracted, is a reflection of your own persona. Somewhere deep inside of that Akashic Metaphysical Karma bank in your Soul, is an entity. This being, which relates to that woman or that man in your life that you love, is a major reflection of where you are in this part of your life with relationships.
I get upset when I hear someone say, "my husband has a drug problem," or "my wife is an alcoholic." "He beats me" or 'he' this or 'he' that. If you don't like your relationship then get away from it, and create another part of yourself that is happier, more caring, more loving and more supportive. If the relationship you have is like a Metaphysical rut and downright filled with pain and suffering, remember that whoever is in your life is a reflection of your self. Irrespective of how much love you think there is. Take a look at the Universe and remember the God-self philosophy that we are all one and that you are the exact center of the Universe. What you sense in your immediate surroundings is the God-self that is reaching out beyond your own center.
There are so many people who have Karma with themselves and relationships and wrongly believe its always the other person. The generations of idealists (1950's idealists), are people who are so perfection oriented. These individuals can be fantasizers and literally believe that relationships should be a certain way, they want to have some fun. This generation stands out a bit more than other generations, but as soon as a problem crops up we blame, reject and eject people out of our lives. When we look back at our past, and all these people we've been with, try making a list of all the people you've loved or made love to. By making a list of all the people you could have married or wanted to marry, at this time in your life, relationships mount up. There are many victims and victimizers out there, and you can't blame anyone but yourself. If you lack stability, it's because the Karma in relationships lies with you and no one else. If you attract a certain being in your life and form a relationship, you'd better recognize that person as to where you're coming from and headed in your current evolution.
Many people associated, in past lives, with such things as rape, pillaging, rejection and cheating. These things have occurred throughout the centuries of human history on our planet. The resultant karmic influence invokes special circumstances because this is a major time of Karmic absolution. Consider the broader suffering that is occurring on this planet, Karmically speaking, by those enslaved by governments, dictators and rulers. Whole nations subjugated, slaughtered, starving and without food. If all you've got left to work out in this life cycle is trying to get along in a solid relationship, don't take it for granted, because you are truly blessed. This seems to be one of the major problems effecting people in their 20's and 30's in America. The result is a lack of relationship stability, causing worry and a dwelling upon it, making themselves sick.
Presently, there are people who would love to have a grain of rice in Ethiopia, Afghanistan and Cambodia, but we are freaking out because we don't have the type of relationships we deserve. We attract a relationship that doesn't work and become upset about it. One moment we respect the person and then we hate them. This is a part of our own self that we are hating. The next time you are with the person that you love, or date, try to recognize that individual as a reflection of either a current or past part of yourself. If as a woman, you associate with a man who is really weird, sexual, and intense, but you love him in spite of a nervous feeling, try to recognize the love of that man, almost exactly as a karmic reflection of your own past life self, that is now being returned to you. It's almost as if it were tennis, serving the ball, being struck by one, returned by another, and returned by the other. So everything that goes out, returns, it's just like the waves. From now on no more of the self sacrifice, blaming, victimizing relationships. Remember that relationships are the ballpark of Karma and what you have sent out in this Universe concerning love, sex, relationships and commitments will most certainly come back to you.
The next time you think there is only one in a million people out there that can make you happy, then what you sow is what you'll reap. When you finally meet that one in a million, they won't please you, because you're so darn picky and hard to please, which keeps you from being around people. Try to associate with people who can allow you to grow. Learn to cooperate and be patient with others. Stop being so darn psychic and intuitive, and stop calling various people to get advice about your relationships. Why let others make choices for you? Recognize the people you love being around, those who are a reflection of yourself, and then manifest something beautiful. People are like plants; they will turn into weeds if you don't cultivate them. If you water them, nurture them, talk to them, and cuddle them, then perhaps you will create a better relationship and a better reflection of your own self.
If you are looking to fall in love or get involved in a relationship, then you need to get involved with people who are Karma clear. Otherwise, you might be creating or compounding a problem.
The definition of Karma clear is not someone that is without Karma. It deals with being clear of past relationships and being able to process new ones. Those individuals that say, "Oh yes, we're divorced, we've recently broken up, and we're not in love anymore," are contradiction in terms. An unprocessed relationship is one that's not been dealt with or cleared out of one's life. Divorce or separation doesn't mean the relationship is over, because metaphysically speaking a relationship is bonded at many levels. For example, when you make love, a communal is formed in the Spirit by intimately bonding the chakras together. People who are promiscuous or swingers can't sometimes balance their relationships because the chakra cords are being broken left and right. There are probably very few couples, if any, who can bond intimately with other couples and still retain a spiritual balance.
A problem that many couples experience in today's society occurs when people get involved elsewhere and thereby overlap relationships. They are not Karma clear. One aspect of being spiritual and karmically clear in relationships is having that self love, which allows you to reflect a mutual respect and self esteem on other people. It's difficult to have respect for other people if they try to come into your life with unclear relationships.
If I make an announcement that I am totally available, not involved, and clear, I will meet so many women that have unclear relationships. They want me to be their lover, yet still love somebody that they haven't let go of. Some of this stuff can go on for years. There are men and women in their 30's and 40's that are still in love with Mr. or Miss. X from 1962! This is the kind of relationships I run away from, and is prevalent in Southern California.
Often, people don't know how to deal with their Karma. Even though they don't know how to absolve or process it, they still consider that they are positive vehicles for other people in new relationships. There are people who date someone to form a relationship, even though they're married. They'll say "I'm separated from my wife," or this and that. When you get involved, fall in love, and find out later that your lover is married, it's no wonder you get devastated. So if you do decide to play the field and get involved in a relationship, then make sure the person you are dealing with is Karma clear.
People will ask why I'm single or not going with anyone. The reason is that I want a Karma clear person, because I have worked hard to become Karma clear myself. At this time I don't have any attachments mentally, spiritually, physically or emotionally. So if a woman meets me and likes me, then at least I can say to her; you know what, nothing or no one can threaten this relationship. Insecure people, on the other hand, need to have someone out there, somewhere in their lives, that they haven't let go of.
Those of us that have Cancer planets, 4th house planets, Cancer rising, Cancer Moon, Libra planets, 7th house planets, Libra rising, Libra Moon, are more likely to be insecure and unclear. I have been guilty of being karmically unclear. I was so frightened to be alone, that I never allowed myself to be without some kind of relationship. I always found myself having to break someone's heart when I was getting involved with someone. Consequently, the Karma was reversed, and I found people dumping on me because they overlapped me with another person. Can you remember the statement "What do you mean you started dating somebody else? You haven't even gotten me out of your life. You haven't even introduced me to the end of your life yet." This type of thing happens to so many people.
Many women can be hopelessly susceptible to men, who are not Karma clear, and have no intention of being karmically clear. In fact, many men have a secret intention of creating a harem. What they do is to make every individual woman feel special. Remember the line, "Oh I'm so in love with Jack, he's so wonderful." Meanwhile there are several other girls saying the same thing. These women are getting sucked into this guy, who is obviously not Karma clear and don't even understand the concept. Meanwhile, everybody else is getting trounced. The women are mainly responsible because they've created this monster. They haven't checked into this individual. If you date a guy, and he appears so charming, loving and so romantic, a sexual God, who's just what you want, but see him every Thursday for two months. What about Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday? When he tells you he's busy with his career or he has to sleep and rest.
There are so many Karma games going on, that the only way you can be sure of a Karma clear person, first of all, is to look into yourself. This is because the intuition of the God-self is so strong in giving you deliverance. It can manifest in gut feelings, heart feelings, and head feelings. This is the seventh sense that walks in and bounces you on the head and says "get the hell away from this person, they are not good for you." Another reason we continue to get involved with karmically unclear people is because of the conditioning by society, our peers, the romantic novels, and by the Soap Opera's, such as Dynasty, and Dallas. These people create a Soap Opera without thinking about metaphysics or Karma. They don't think about their heart, emotions or their feelings. They are following examples that they see in the movies, books, or in magazines.
The first thing I'll say to a woman is; "Do you have a boyfriend?" "No." "Are you married?" "No." "Do you love anybody?" "Well maybe." "Well, do you have a boyfriend or not?" "Yeah, well no I don't, but my heart is still fond of John, he's been married for 10 years, but I still love him." I run away from that stuff, which is unprocessed garbage. Some people say "He was my first love, He was my true love," that's the line one reads in a gutter-press romantic novel! Spiritually, when a person forms an idea in their mind, that when they married Mary or Barbara, she was their Soul mate, so there can't be any other Soul mate for them. Which means they're still connected.
To be a good vehicle for a relationship, both partners should have an understanding that the other party is clear of any attachments. In any relationship, it doesn't guarantee they are going to remain faithful, and remain karmically clear in the future. That's where truth comes in. If a new entry, a new candidate, comes into the field, then this is the type of information that should be shared with another person. For example:
"Honey, there's a woman out there that I'm interested in sexually."
"Why is that Farley?"
"Well, we haven't had sex in three weeks. Ah! Maybe there's someone out there that's trying to enter my life. They love me, why should you care about them?"
"Well I don't feel you love me anymore, you haven't expressed it."
When Karma enters a relationship, it shouldn't be able to penetrate, unless there's a problem, in which case it necessitates a discussion. However, people don't like to discuss it. What they do is create vengeance, and say, to heck with him, I'm going to go out and cheat on him, because I can get good sex from Bert over here. She comes back to the marriage right after having a wild afternoon of marathon sex with Bert. Instead of sitting down and talking to her husband about this before it happens, they just go ahead and create the Karma. They could agree on a separation or whatever, even an open situation. They are now Karma unclear. Whereas they had Karma unclear marriage, it now has the symptom of destruction, because one of the parties ran out and cheated on the relationship.
In Los Angeles it is difficult to find a woman that is clear of any men. This is either mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally alone unto herself, with self love, self esteem, a monolith of light, all by herself. That's what a man wants. It's the same for women. It is therefore, very important to be clear of Karma with relationships unto yourself.
It is an interesting that no one ever really thinks about people getting brutalized by relationships, but it happens all the time. I think an important part of creating a stable vehicle for any relationship is to work on the relationship that you have with yourself. Basically, self love, self esteem, eliminating insecurities no matter who you are, what you look like, where you may be, and this is what you've created. So it's about time you start using the mantra; improve myself, I am God, I have high self respect, my self esteem is checked, I create and visualize a good person. Starting to see how a person could love you from the outside and plugging into that, and move yourself internally that way. A person is unqualified to be in love, unless they know what it feels like. So learn to love yourself in an unselfish way.
Also learn to let go. Relationships come and go, we're human and they don't always work. Often, they never work. All things pass. Even if you're happily married, people do die or people move on, things change—so you have to be ready to let go, and process them. You have to be able to say to yourself logically, this doesn't look as if it's going to work, and always come back to the relationship with yourself.
People come to me distraught and pay high fees to find out how to get Mr. Z, or Miss A to admire them. My question is what happened to all the love you had? They say, well I love this person more than myself. Some people identify romantic love as loving another more than yourself. The relationship with yourself is more important than anything. If you let another relationship outside yourself gain more importance, that's when you become an unstable vehicle, because it is necessary to have someone with high self love. Nobody should want some mushy person that is just idolizing them; it's not healthy.
Let go of those separated relationships that you still have dear feelings for. It is so important to finally let go of those feelings, that have been cursing you. We call this unrequited love. If you have unprocessed relationships, it's because you're still plugged in, or connected to someone, and they are not connected to you. They have hurt you, so there's a Karma there, but the Karma is always with yourself. It's not with the world. The Karma center is inside you. The only way you can make a peace with that person that hurt you, is to make a piece with yourself. When you do that it's clear, it's that simple.
People call a person up and keep bothering them, write letters and say they love them. But once you make a peace with yourself, one day they'll come back into your life and when they do, it can be casual, nothing needs to be said. You hold on to the Karma, that's inside your own heart by the effort you make, the obsession you create, or the worry, the anxiety you manifest. This is an anchor that we create, and the only way you can clear Karma is unto yourself, through meditation, prayer, self resolutions, and self esteem. It's God, it's you, it's the center. That's the way it works.
To clear oneself of certain attachments, and be happy in future relationships, requires certain processing. You have to remove the physical. Sometimes removing all the pictures that you have; out of the wallets, off the walls. The gifts received, even the car they've given you; sell it. Whatever reminds you of this person, and holds you to the stimulus of this relationship, get rid of it, dump it. Don't have this casual sexual affair with them, or even shake hands with them, stay away. Change your phone number, which may seem cruel for a while, but until you're clear of this internal Karma, you're going to be an unstable vehicle for future relationships. So remove the physical with the person you haven't processed.
Restore the mental; many people need therapy. Mentally getting rid of the love you feel for another person often has to do with talking it out, and getting it out in the open. Talk until you're sick about it, until it's over, and it's boring already. Hypnotherapy might be needed a to process the whole episode.
Emotionally, when loving someone, you feel weak, vulnerable, and that the love has gotten hold of your life, then you have to process it. If there's an anger or hate process, a lot of crying, and screaming, then there's denial; a denial of the facts and ones' emotions. You know one time I cried every day for six months, almost all day. It takes that long when you really fall in love deep. There is a side to me, within me, including my guides and my higher self. They said, Farley, we don't want you like this, you don't want to be like this, you're not going to get this woman. I was in denial where you don't want to accept the facts. It's the same when you're a drug addict, or a dope addict, or a relationship is over, or your son or your daughter is using drugs, or the marriage is over, denial, everyone has it. You have to get over that denial, and accept the facts and process the emotions.
When you cut off the physical, when you get therapy with the mental, and when you overcome the emotional, then the spiritual bond is finally broken. So spiritually, as long as you have an unprocessed relationship, the connection still exists. Because you're God, and one with the Universe, you have a grip on that person. You may not know it, but until the process is over, trying to form new connections with other people won't work. Karma dictates what goes around comes around, and you are not being loyal. If you don't want an ex-lover to have sex with someone else, then you're not being spiritually or emotionally loyal to your new lover; because you're still holding on to the other person. Essentially, Karma clear people are people who have processed all their old relationships, formed a relationship with themselves, and become a proper stable vehicle for a new person who, hopefully, has processed their relationships.
There are some people that are trying to analyze their relationships. But if you are with a person that is not Karma clear, or you are not Karma clear, you have no one to blame but your self. There are many fish in the sea, and everyone has the same I-AM inside of us. We are so susceptible to these bodies and these vehicles of people that are not karmically sound for themselves or us if there is unprocessed Karma. The best test for them is the trial of loneliness. They don't deserve to smash other people's lives.
Astrology can identify susceptibilities, loyalty and Karma in a relationship inside you and/or your mate. Compatibility charts and reports provide an insight for personal interactions, and where the benefits and stress exist for either friends or lovers. Relationships that are not sound can occur when the mental, physical, spiritual and emotional bond between two people is not stable. This creates an imbalance due to the interference of Karma.
It is those people with low self-esteem, low self-love, low levels of self-realization, who seek love outside themselves. Whether they love money, cars, or people, it is OK to love people and other things, but never at the price of your own self love. Because in truth, love is all there is. If you place that love outside yourself, then that's when that vacuum, emptiness, worrying, stress, the need to be addicted and obsessed with those things outside your self will manifest. There is really no need for you to be worried, or obsessed with things outside yourself. If you are the center of the Universe, you are it. You are God. You are the sum total of all consciousness, of all knowledge, of all power, of all wisdom, and of all love vibration in this Universe. There is nothing else, nothing more beyond you. Remember that everything in the Universe is an illusion from our point of view, in this dimension. In truth, please set your consciousness a bit higher, we are one, we are love and we are light. Love and light are all there is. So whenever you pretend to seek that what you think you lack outside yourself, I think you are really missing the boat. I think the best relationships and the best experiences in life occur and manifest with the highest levels of self-love and self-esteem. Because we are the Universe, we are the world, we are one, why not start right here in the heart?
The beings that reach higher levels of consciousness, when they get in touch with this vibration, is the I-Am force people call Krishna, Alla, Jehovah, or Elkohome. This force, this vibration, is the I-Am force that powers all people to propel and unite us. So there is no reason for anyone to feel that he or she is alone anymore, bless yourself in solitude and realize that you are not alone, you are bonded to the Universe. The Metaphysical definition of Alone is ALL-ONE.
You know the funny thing about Earth is that when we are born on this planet, into this illusion of separation, we are given many guides, certain teasers, hints and clues to try to find our way back to the light and the God-self. Let's face it, this is an illusion of separation and before you get to the point where you do realize you are God, you are one with God, you are the I-force, you need to overcome this illusion. Astrology is powerful because it is a science of behavior that helps us to identify the uniqueness that we receive at birth (the illusion of the uniqueness we receive at birth). It helps to identify our own uniqueness, our own Karma, our own obsession, and why we act, think and do in certain ways. It tells you why you manifest the individual that you think you seem to be.
The Karma of love is when we are foolish, insecure, or lonely enough to think that we must seek love outside our own self; when in truth we are truly bonded to all beings. It is perfectly acceptable to have a romantic love with another individual, but if you choose to have romantic love with more than one at a time then that's your problem. I think one of the Karma's of diseases such as AIDs or V.D. is when people are trying to find this love outside their self, by having lustful sex, they are misusing their bodies to do it. They are so insecure, there is a vacuum inside and they become obsessed with trying to find love outside of themselves and they end up killing themselves doing it. Of course it is a different story by contracting the disease through birth, or transfusion of blood.
I have learned to become happier when I have learned to enjoy my solitude. The love that lies within my breast and plugs into the people all over the planet, instead of having to go out and find the people, I can feel them in my own apartment or right here in the control room. If I could share that vibration with you I think you could find the true key to happiness. You could plug into that God-force inside yourself that I am talking about.