Why am I hurting so much?:(

pisceskitty · #1 11-03-2006, 09:42 PM

Hi guys,

Lately i've been feeling really hurt, abandoned, and sad. I've been feeling this way for a few days now, and I'm wondering where this is all coming from. I'm having constant fears that my mother is going to die, that my son will hate me, or leave me. I feel like everyone around me has love in their lives, and I'm all alone. I've been having weird dreams about cats also.[Kittens mainly]

I was on the train, and everytime I see a baby, I just want to burst into tears. I have these intense feelings of wanting another baby, and there are moments when I honestly feel like i'm going to die all alone... Can someone look at my transits and give me an idea why this is popping up now? All these feelings from my past are spilling over. Especially feeling rejected/abandoned by everyone....

March 11th 1973
8:26PM
New York, NY

akpastro · #2 11-03-2006, 11:08 PM

Hi there,

I just took a quick look, and noticed that transit pluto is opposing your natal moon and at the same time squaring your mercury, and so turning mercury into the focal planet of a t-square. on the other hand saturn is on the cusp of your 11th house (hopes, wishes, but also received love). oppositions always deal with relationships and if the moon is involved, well, that might explain strong feelings of adversity. but one has to be aware of the fact that pluto wants always the truth, and so it might be that during this period you'll be tormented by strong feelings. but this in order to get to know yourself better. considering that this temporary t-square has its focus in the sixth house (expression of feelings(third from the 4th)) I guess by posting your post you did just that.
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visit my site: www.the-missin-link.tk

pisceskitty · #3 11-03-2006, 11:43 PM

Thank You,

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my post. I feel so overwhelmed sometimes, and there are moments when I feel like I can't cope with everything. I'll just be happy when all of this passes..I'm emotionally drained, and creatively frustrated.

Carole · #4 11-04-2006, 01:25 AM

Hello, Pisceskitty:

You are having a bad time with those transits, and I know how you are feeling. Just try to relax and wait for this to pass, because it will. We all have been there, believe me. As Akpastro said, Pluto is playing its old tricks on you right now, but you'll come out of this feeling much stronger.
Just think that we are never alone, Pisces. We are always being taken care of and deeply loved, even if we don't feel so. Keep your eyes open because there is some hidden lesson you need to learn in all of this you are experiencing. But most important...keep your heart open.

Universal love is surrounding you right now...and always.

Carole

akpastro · #5 11-04-2006, 01:31 AM

.... mercury square pluto is a depression aspect, bur as it's a transit it won't last forever, there's always some light ahead and once ir's over things might even be better than before. after all pluto is about death and rebirth.

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visit my site: www.the-missin-link.tk

Frisiangal · #6 11-04-2006, 08:27 AM

[quote=pisceskitty]Hi guys,

Quote:

Lately i've been feeling really hurt, abandoned, and sad. I've been feeling this way for a few days now, and I'm wondering where this is all coming from. I'm having constant fears that my mother is going to die, that my son will hate me, of leave me. I feel like everyone around me has love in their lives, and I'm all alone. I've been having weird dreams about cats also.[Kittens mainly]

That sounds a lot like transiting Black Moon Lilith (no body) having entered Libra (love me?) in your 12th house and within orb of natal Pluto! As if you 'have NO choice' in unlocking your self-imposed prison, whereas you can also look upon it as the choice is yours. Kittens are helpless creatures needing sustenance to grow into cats, and you choose PiscesKITTY as a pseudonym. So? When are you going to stop worrying about how other people feel towards helping you and start working on how you feel about, and start helping, yourself ? Giving yourself a stronger, more positive pseudonym for starters could work miracles regarding your self esteem. Your progressed Sun is long into Aries and Aries DOES something to feel it exists in life!

You also have the transiting Scorpio stellium trining your natal Pisces planets, so wallowing deeper into the negative victimised, helpless, self-pitying side of Pisces may come easier than gritting your teeth, that really should be full grown by now. Remember that Pisces is a dual sign. As a Pisces student once said and I have never forgotten....there are sharks as well as goldfish. There's a big difference and plenty of choice between both.

The words of a song come to mind; Pick myself up, dust myself down, start all over again.'

Pity will never help you; finding that faith in yourself and all you can do, will and can.

F.

pisceskitty · #7 11-04-2006, 03:17 PM

Wow!!

Guys thank you so much! These words of encouragement mean so much! I really do like the name PiscesKitty. But, change is really good. I'm kinda attached to it, and I LOVE cats! I'll think of something good tonight. again guys, thank you so much. It was a tremendous help!

Peace and Blessings!

rahu · #8 11-04-2006, 11:24 PM

hi fishcat,
i agree with ak pretty much.
i think this transits has kick out a strong"psychic"period which will be strong to the end of the month.in addition to the pain you've been in,have you noticed that your general intuitions have been very accurate?also have you ever lost a child? with the pluto transit ,this pain could relate to a past live situation.watch your dreams ,who may have accurate premontions.
rahu

pisceskitty · #9 11-05-2006, 09:22 PM

Hi Rahu,

Uh..fishcat??!! That sounds awful!!!..lol, I did loose a baby. It was back in 1993. I had an ectopic pregnancy. Also three of my siblings were given up for adoption when I was a little girl. Plus my baby brother died when he was juts 3days old. I would love to look into some books on past lives. My own mother did not raise me[I was raised by my grandmother] and it has left alot of wounds, and a huge void. My mother is back in my life, but I'm still hurt about my siblings. This is where the feelings of abandonment come in. I know these issues also make me anxious about my own child.

I always have wondeful dreams about my son. In one dream, he told me:"Mommy, you'll be fine. I know you can do it." He is always very supportive in my dreams