Can you analyze my chart? why do I feel unlucky in my love life?

[MelissaM]

This is my chart above: http://www.tinypic.com/r/2mxfrmb/7 I have been trying to understand myself since a young age. I found a lot of true facts about my personality with astrology, thats why I believe in it but sometimes I just cannot understand why I have a big difficulty in getting a serious partner. I was into a terrible time during my teenager years, living with anxiety was not that easy and then, I see myself different to other women from my same age. I see that I have a bundle chart indicating that I am not a person who is influenced by outsiders. Thats true since I am very focused on myself, in my career and success but I am not a very ambitious person at all. I really care for others. I have my sun, pluto, saturn, venus having a very tight conjunction placed in my 10th house. My moon, jupiter, pallas are also placed in my 10th house. In my 7th house is Nessus and orcus, what all these means.

I just dont understand why I feel trapped by a force that is keeping me from feeling self confident about myself, I feel sometimes that I am my own enemy attracting partners even friends who doesnt deserve my love and friendship. Please help me to understand. I really need it.

[virgo18]

Chiron rx in Taurus is wounding the 5th house of lovers and creativity: Sometimes this placement tend to attract wounded lovers who wound you or take advantage of you for getting some benefit, non-committal types or lovers that don't or can't commit with you for some reason. Sometimes a very painful relationship (fraternal or romantic) that wounds you and then you cant handle upcoming relationships for the fear of being wounded again. This turns the native quite suspicious and penurious, that fails upcoming relationships because its not opening to the other person.
Venus is the sign of Chiron and its the ruler of the 5th house which has a conjunction with Saturn and Pluto.
You are a person who is restricted in creativity and expression and by the other hand you have an extreme urge for love and been loved.

The ruler of your ascendant is the Moon, and it is not aspecting the ruler of the committed relationship house which is Saturn. So that is another reason for not attracting serious guys.


The key is learning to express your feelings freely.

That Saturn is not friendly.

[mirthyQ]

Virgo18 makes some good points. Her chart has some similiarities to yours - with the 10th, 11th, and 12th lit up. 2 things I see are that you may draw an ambitious (public) man to yourself but one who may also be internally wounded/soft/dreamy, too. And this may not fulfill you due to the effect of neptune/12th on masculine energy and south node ruler (past lives) with the other masculine planet - the sun.

Mars conjunct neptune in the 12th. You were probably a man in your most recent past life but now you are a woman. Are you ready to lay down all of those powerful masculine energies you've developed (before) and start living through the feminine principals - the moon, venus?

And you have developed these strong 10th house things (public life, leader, etc...) and you are on some level going to expect this in your significant other, too. But pisces/neptune enters into the picture.

Neptune energy with mars (the masculine underside in a woman's chart) in the 12th house? Could mean - things like hidden affairs, endings, dreams of romance/prince charming, etc... But wait a minute you have the ruler of the ascendant (saturn) in its own house and strong, strong, strong up in the 10th with the sun! Moreover you have the ruler of the past (south node capricorn) saturn in the 10th. Huh ---You will naturally go into 10th house/capricorn/saturn skills and pisces-like things but now the cosmic forces would like you to experience the opposite end of things - moon/cancer/nurturing and virgo things, too (service/practical).

And you are just starting this journey. If you were farther along you would have some planets over by your cancer north node and/or down near the IC/4th house and maybe some planets in virgo, too. But let's get back to your current life.

How to combine these 2 principals - 10th/saturn and 12th/mars w/neptune? You will be drawn to 12th house affairs (wounded man, self abuser -drugs/alcohol?), but you will internally no better and want more (that 10th). You may get locked into (wedded) into a relationship at some point that doesn't fulfill you. But if someone can "straighten out" these neptunian things you can.

You may naturally reject a man who isn't too ambitious and is nurturing and practical but you will find that you have much to learn from someone like this. Fulfill your energy now but remember this.

[MelissaM]

Thank you Virgo18 and MirthyQ. I believe I was a man in my past time. I sometimes have the mind of a man and also the energy that they possess. Outside, my appearance, shows a woman who is very femenine, docile, sweet and for some people good looking but these things are not making me happy at all. Yes I am attracting guys who are cancer rising, cancer sun or cancer moon, pisces moon, virgo sun in my life. I find them unstable and promising at the same time. I feel wounded by their instability. I believe that the cosmic energies changed my role in this lifetime. This is right now that I am learning to be more nurturing, caring, understanding with people... I always was that way since a little girl but during these later years I have been touching my moon energy very deeply (progressed moon in scorpio). Inside myself I always pictured to be with a kind of artistic, musician, sensitive guy... this is my ideal man but at the same time I want someone who is studious, who has a good class status, and who is ambitious in a good way... This two contradiction of the person I want as my partner cause a great dilemma to my life. I have been rejecting cancer types of guys and I was attracting virgo types of guys as well. My saturn in the 10th house which is the ruler of my 7th house cusp is making me a person who doesn't want someone who is a drug abuser, a dreamer or alcoholic... I detest a person like this. I always remember being a person who was afraid of these bad habits on people, I dont know why, but these things cause on me panic when I listen, watch everything about drugs or alcohol abuse. I was always denying to see that and there is a strange fear to all these in an extreme level... I dont really know why I have these tremendous fear of drugs, alcohol and any kind of bad habits... this is because of my saturn conjuncting my sun, pluto and venus? There is something that happened in my past life that makes me afraid of all of these in this lifetime. This is very true that chiron in my 5th house indicates these wounded partners. Last year was full of them: three guys, one a capricorn rising/libra sun/pisces moon person with a PSTD problem and I really fell in love with him but he just had to go to another state and this is right, for some reason he wouldn't commit to me, I believe because of his PSTD problem, then the second guy: a cancer rising/gemini sun/taurus moon who was married but who was searching for me as an intimate company because of his loneliness and failed relationship, and the third one: a taurus rising/cancer sun/cancer moon who was having issues at work and feeling the loneliness of not having his family close to him but at the end, all of them, for some reason had to leave me. I feel deeply bad for what is happening in my love life. I also feel blocked in my career...I want to pursue a master degree but because of some reasons I am just not able to do it. In addition, I am trapped in my business, taking care of it 100%. Life is being complicating during these times but yes, my saturn return is giving me a hard time and wants me to take care of what I possess now.

I want to feel real love, there is a hole in my soul that is causing me negative thoughts and depression. However, thank you all for taking your time on reading my chart