Heaven & Hell

[Hippiest thing]

[Hippiest thing]

A short presentation: Hm... began to "study" astrology 5 years ago... it eats me up... I have at least one major experiance associated with the activity... but lost in a confusion between the "inner" and "other" world.... Unstable in feelings... I'm a psuedo-sages in a sort of sex addiction... Feels like I've memorized a solid repertoire of the astrology systems as far as I can get.. where the imprint of every dissolved concept in a timelessness hypnotize my self image into a frozen togheterness with the crystalline of fragments... A disillusioned sense of home.. idealized estetic sensivity ..breaking it all up stimulated by the parasitic demon in a isolated centralization of my disoriented flesh, obsevissly trying to legitamate my yin face ...the killed nature of my needs crawl back, search for a mental meeting, a experimental realization. The conscious surface of the materialized conflict... shutted up into a tantric alination.. intensely seduced by the inertia of the left hemisphere (so emotional) the autonomous appendix of eliminated chaos more and more take over into a interior 'person' -my egocentric immature respons to my kundalini energy... a hemafrodic zero-sum game... floating in comfort of the imitation of end, try to be something... -two side's of real actual pain... looking back to remember past experiance... want to believe that knowing of slave morality can re-etablish intelligence, lift my intellect to a new identity by transcendence ...but everything is already lost.....


...A typic manifest of my illness.... I know that I need a new activity and let the picture of the mind express it self genuine by transformation and spiritual health...

I don't know what to say.. I'm disabled, transparent paranoid, romantic.. falling into insane naivity.... deep guilt as that I regonize as my emotions...

A love mission... feelings for the group of people, a more objektive function of resourses... etc.. cuz I have no answer... the platform is absorbed, but not real, thats so heavy.. the doors are open....

[Pallas-trine-Mars]

Welcome, Hippie. Sounds like some drama, probably from it's conjunction with your Sun, it's almost over though, Neptune's currently 4 degrees away from your Sun (sadly it only moves about 2 degrees a year.)

[athan]

Welcome to the forums Hippie.

I must say this is the best self introductory post I have ever read!!!!

Enjoy.

Athan.

[rahu]

i agree with athan,your description of yourself was like a lesson in astrology.do you have any questions or want affirmation to what you already percieve about yourself?

welcome most enlightened hippie

[rahu]

your beautiful poetic flow is shown by the venus/neptune midpoint conjunct mercury.descriptions drwan trhu ultra sesnsitive compassion for the right,as jupiter trines mercury showing a inherent morality based on the correction action.with moon conjunct jupiter in taurus,the environment becomes very supportive and furthuring the experience of goods emotions and intent.
but more the venus/midpoint also brings social drama and complicated and sometimes obtuse human relations.and all the foibles of your friends fall into your lap.
the sun conjunct nadir exact square to the moon strengthens your conservative nature and strengthens the family pride and anticipation of moral interfactions.

toward pluto's influence is split the mars venus square in that the intimate relationships bring issues from the subconscious or unconscious.so "normal human interaction are never "normal" but the obvious tension you post suggest that you embarked on the tantric focus as much out of emotional defense as from a spiritual thrust.
it feels that sometimes your tantric sensations are rarely mutual.
pluto makes your sexual nature open to ......... spritual distractions.

with your sun/moon and sun/jupiter midpoints square your saturn/neptune conjunction, there is ahidden side to your heritage that dims your options. it is a simybol of a weak father,a missing father or one not affecting you.

it shows again the complicated nature of your life.you can be what others want, you you are sensitive to all cultures and types as you undestand the unusal .

some aspects of your hell are pluto in a 3/20 harmonic to saturn and neptune.thiscan cause many irritations and can lock you ego into a infexilble fiber thta makes change very difficult.this difficuklt is not inherently persdonal but comes from an inability to manage your options,,,, even if you don't understand your options.

it is a inflexible father figure that bindss you while convincing your it is all of your making,then you chiron/moon midpoint is opposed the saturn/pluto and neptune/pluto midpoints.you are given penetrating and discriminating emotional intensity.but this potential is again blocked place circumstance or environment.

but i comes back to the pain of the mars opposed to pluto as chiron semisquare mars and sesquiquadrate pluto.as chiron is often associated with action of disrespect or defilment that should be alien to the behavior of an intimate and close other.

painting the picture does not change the scene.
but i would give what ever remains of your trust, give it agian to your tantric/spitirtual sight.you are coming soon on a time when you very thoughts could reflect exact what is around you.

your intuition of transcending your cage is correct.just down cease now .give yourself til the summer solstice.it is is imperative to be proactive with your spiritual nature
as with self doubt you are subject to others nightmares.truely your thoght and vision will have substance and inertia.

all the dark can do is try to make you believe in it,but trust only your inner reality as the more sesolved you become,the slippery the trials you are to walk.

Persevere To The Summer Solstice

rahu