My anger

pudinnpop · #1 03-21-2010, 09:47 AM

Its now gettin on to be 6am and im still up!! I just need to vent about my anger a wee bit here!! The last year and a half has been rough needless to say the least!! Ive been slowly regaining my power back from a very suffocating relationship,one that was emotionally draining and at times ( alot) abusive!!! So in my journey of self discovery ive done things im both proud of and not so proud of to try and break free!!! My anger has no limits i think!! So recently my home has been desended upon with family strife and drama from all angles and at times i literally feel like im loosing my mind!!!! I feel like im gonna break down 4 reals!!! But the thing thats worrying me is that i have this unfathomable need to seek revenge and hurt those that have hurt me( a recent thing)!!I know that sounds harsh but its the cold hard truth!! Im sure some may thing im a bit crazy but i FEEL crazy with anger and resentment!! I guess its built up in me so strong that it has to come out!

I dont know if i should ride this wave or try and get off it,because to be quite honest im looking forward to stickin it to a few ppl in my life( duely deserved)But i know LOGICALLY i should try and chill and fight the battles i know i can win and seek justice ( in a good productive way) but like i said my venom is insane!!

I have a list of ppl whi have abused me and my family in some way and i will seek justice,but for the others who are gettin on my last good nerves,i guess i will chill a bit and let it be!! LOL!! But..... but..... UGH!! I so wanna teach them a lesson too!! I do not wanna be messed with anymore!!!..

Ok end of rant

flea · #2 03-21-2010, 11:01 AM

If you are feeling stuff you are feeling stuff....what you go on to do about it needs consideration.....as it can cause you problems in the future. If you are hurt, there is not much anyone can do to make it go away other than yourself....see what has not been serving you, and state your boundaries, what you are willing to deal with and what you are not.

You can draw a line in the sand and make a promise to yourself to creat a new future, that does not hold to anything in the past. You can free yourself from the past, but not before you have acknowledged you truth.

Honour your emotions and what you have experienced.....examine if there is anything positive that you can take forward out of this and see what needs to be left.

It all takes time for you to process stuff so give yourself that time and peace to yourself.

FleaXX

EJ53 · #3 03-21-2010, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pudinnpop

...I do not wanna be messed with anymore.

So...change your future by applying in the present the lessons learned from the past.

EJ

Vagabondgirl · #4 03-21-2010, 03:57 PM

I understand. I also had some anger and revenge thoughts when I was younger, whenever I felt somebody treated me unfair or bad in any way.

I think that the best way to deal with it is to channel your energy into something else, like work, study, hobbies, physical excercise, anything that requires motivation and ALOT of energy.

It works for me at least. I feed on anger today! I mean, when Im being lazy at school and something in my life makes me pissed of Im grateful because it gives me the energy to do better at school and I do in fact get better grades, believe it or not!

The greatest revenge is to show people that you succeed, rather than going under.

You should try it

gemini59 · #5 03-21-2010, 04:07 PM

Speaking astrologically you may need to note where Pluto is transiting your chart.

I have flashes of anger like that lately but Pluto is squaring my ascendant.

Revenge, retribution ...that lashing out...the only problem I have with it is it continues a karmic circle of pain, anger, hate...watch Jerry Springer sometimes and you will see how this karmic circle repeats and repeats.

I am not sure an eye for an eye is the best route.

Acknowledge your anger but look for its orgins. Anger like this comes from a very deep well within us. It is plutonian in nature thus psychological. Often we can not acknowledge our part in a situation and that lashing out blames others and does not help us reflect on how we can change it so it will not happen again.

Obsessive anger definitely needs a safe outlet. I would walk softly and carry a big stick. Learn your own form of self-defense...I really do believe that the self-defense arts help us control those aggressive energies and help us feel we can defend ourselves against being a victim.
I wish for you the best. Your acknowledgment of your feelings and talking about it is a good first step.

pudinnpop · #6 03-21-2010, 04:36 PM

Well astrologically i got uranus square mars right now ,moon opps.mars,mars being in the first house lol!! Been like this since mars went back direct!!! ANd my pluto is conj mars as well ,so ya id guess im one angry individual,lol!!

Im going to be joining the gym this week and i think that will help defintley!!!

Thanks for listening to me vent all!! It helps!!

HeyPlayGirl · #7 03-21-2010, 04:48 PM

i'm sorry pud

it makes sense that you're angry. i like flea's advice about drawing a line in the sand though. it's time to forget the past and make new boundaries. anyone who doesnt wanna respect those boundaries can kick rocks

the gym is a great idea, and maybe you'll meet a friend or a good looking guy there hehe

anyway good luck in finding better people that deserve to be in your life this coming year. <3 xoxo

Vagabondgirl · #8 03-21-2010, 05:58 PM

Sometimes I can wake up in the middle of the night for no reason and think of an annoying event that happened weeks or months ago and have this angry/revenge feeling. Its hard to go back to sleep then. But it goes away when I finally manage to go back to sleep, IF I do that is!

I have pluto conjunct my chart ruler mercury. Thats why I know this stuff about anger management

pudinnpop · #9 03-21-2010, 06:08 PM

LOL Twinny,u KNOW meeting a nice guy could help with that anger.I do agree too with flea very much ,and i dig that vaga knows exactly what im talkin about!!!!That was me last night,i got pissed and i was up till 6am!!!

Vagabondgirl · #10 03-21-2010, 06:58 PM

Cool that we have this in common

Can I see your natal chart?

pudinnpop · #11 03-21-2010, 07:41 PM

ok here it is vaga!!!

Vagabondgirl · #12 03-21-2010, 08:22 PM

Hmmm. Could be the T square with moon-mars-pluto?

I have mars conjunct moon.... Maybe the moon has to do with waking up in the night to some bad emotions? Or perhaps neptune? Like after waking up from a dream.

Neptune Rising · #13 03-21-2010, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pudinnpop

Well astrologically i got uranus square mars right now ,moon opps.mars,mars being in the first house lol!! Been like this since mars went back direct!!! ANd my pluto is conj mars as well ,so ya id guess im one angry individual,lol!!

Im going to be joining the gym this week and i think that will help defintley!!!

Thanks for listening to me vent all!! It helps!!

Ah I know the feeling, final square from Uranus to my first house Mars has just passed. Jogging, now long walks to save my knee caps helps with the physical side of things, any physical exercise.

pudinnpop · #14 03-21-2010, 08:48 PM

Yes Vaga!! I have often woken up with anxiety and bad dreams!! It ***** big time!!!

Well like i said ,ill be joing a gym this week ,hopefully this helps me alot!!!!!