Tech Support

[piercethevale]

...from my good friend Geoff in Wyoming.


Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...



Customer: Hi, this is Celine... I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute. I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....



Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?



Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male Customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.


Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.



Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah.................... thank you.



Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.



Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore..
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK.
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah. That one does work.



Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?



Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it..
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.



Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.



Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.



Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?



A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.



And last but not least...

Tech support: Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time... That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: 'P'.... on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

Quote For Today:

"Life's tough... It's even tougher if you're stupid."
~John Wayne~