Thank you, R4ven... My post didn't begin with an intention of offering tribute, but you're right, I guess that's what it became! The huge *electrical charge* or static within both our makeups and within our relationship (meaning that as a metaphor for all that naturally prevented us from connecting better) was such that only now, in retrospect, am I finding myself able to properly & completely honor her, and fully understand her context of experience.
Yes, what you note above is a fascinating phenomenon, isn't it? I can offer my personal context of understanding around that...but it is pretty intensely sourced from my personal spiritual beliefs, so I'm not sure whether you or many other folks will find resonance with it...
I believe in reincarnation, and that in each lifetime our moment of birth impresses our psyches with the "mosaic" of qualities and tendencies illustrated within our natal charts...and that this specific, exact design is what we have chosen as being most likely to *generate opportunities* for gaining the angles of soulgrowth we have chosen to focus upon in that lifetime. And while each person's chosen "curriculum" that I'm defining in this way is extremely complex and multifaceted, I've always loved that old movie "Defending Your Life" because to me, its overall bottom-line theme...that soulgrowth always has something to do with *rising beyond Fear* in all its many facets to embrace new horizons and challenges, to *expand the Self* in all positive, benevolent ways the opportunity presents itself...is an excellent metaphor that translates the essence of this in a very simple way that doesn't butcher its underlying complexity.
So, seeing what you've highlighted here, from my post, through that lens...I'll use my own framework to illustrate... My mom's soul chose to, as Eleanor, incarnate within a family whose hugely-restrictive orientation and mindset would put an uncomfortable spotlight upon those realms of herself that have, within her total soul history, *outgrown its britches,* so to speak; the realms of herself within which she sorely needs to break through certain barriers of fear in order to attain a wider energetic field of expression and being in order to truly Be Herself, now. (The families we choose birth into, to me, often hold that as part of their design; to catalyze the realms our souls most ripe for, most needing to *make new, big Reaches Forward* in order to know true fulfillment.) As is often the case, however, either this *cooking process* was not sufficient to inspire her own will or courage (or who knows what else) to actually enact all that would have been required for her to truly do so.
Then what happens, to my understanding, is that whatever issues going on within us that, for whatever reason, we are unable to or can't choose to *own* and consciously grow beyond, in these ways, we unavoidably unconsciously *project* onto others. This gets spoken of in traditional psychology as one generation "passing down" its issues to the next, most often highlighted within more-visible abuse cycles that come down generation to generation, but is also valid for all realms... My mom was unable to break her cycle of dwelling within the parameters of life experience her own fears defined for her; therefore I, as her daughter, *lived them out* for her. To me this is an ingenious, chosen-by-all-parties *cooperative* soulgrowth plan, really; it provides so many moments/angles of opportunity to still choose to rise above them! At any point mom had the opportunity to choose, prompted by her own frustrations and feelings that arose, watching me *be and live* from a wider, larger scope -- the context of expression she truly *wanted* to embrace -- but in all her 88 years, she was not able to choose that. So she just ended up resenting me, unconsciously externalizing/projecting all that upon me as "the enemy."
Actually, the late and very esteemed, enormously-skilled astrologer Barbara Krofel was the one who brought all this to my attention many years ago, back in 1979, looking at my chart. Read my mother *in* my chart, as well as these projections. She was amazing at reading others in one's chart, and first taught me these principles.
So that's how I understand all this... Thanks again very much for your kind words, R4ven! Nice sync there; Raven is one of my major totems... ;->