Emotional Strain

Niplan · #1 06-11-2009, 12:55 AM

How do you deal with knowing basicaly everything that can ever be known through astrology. I didn't think i'd be any good at this, which i don't want to sound egotistical but I really do have a thing for this. As well as tarot and runes, Latley as well, Ive been feeling intense strain as a fear of loosing everything and everyone.

a mind set has set in of fear of death, not my own death for some reason that doesn't bother me as much, but the death of others who i know. Ive developed some irrational fear of my own mortality.

I don't realy care what will happen after death, but i do so i lied. But more so I think its a fear of being alone moreso then anything.

But I've read through the old texts of astrology that i can find mainly lilly at this point and somewhere i read that "The only limitations on astrology are those we put unto it"

The reality of what knowledge i posess and what a tool this is has finaly set in, and its kind of scary. not kind of, how about very!

Have i finaly lost my mind, or does anyone else even remotley feel this way? Maybe I have found my way to fufill two of my deepest desires at once, a closerness to the "Epic godly force" and a tool to satisfy my ferret like tendency and obession of seeking out that which shouldn't be known, or things that are "secret"

I can feel jupiter pulling and expanding myself forcing me to grow but this is obnoxious.

Here is a tranist chart; Mines the black, Natal sun 27, natal jupiter 29 I blame mercury, purple arches are antisica and contra antisica.

katydid · #2 06-11-2009, 01:09 AM

The more I study astrology, the more obvious it becomes that I know next to nothing.

astrologer50 · #3 06-11-2009, 11:57 AM

Firstly, the chart you posted is not at all clear, much better from astro. Why does it not show Uranus and Neptune in pisces/aquarius?

T Saturn has been opposing your venus then mercury, this is 'testing' your values, thoughts and responses, to see 'what is of value to you' and what is not, plus it's happening in the money houses, T saturn in 2nd of how you earn your money and spend and beliefs....

At the moment T Jupiter and T Neptune are conj expanding, opening doors opportunites, going over your sun, maybe you are feeling the Neptune affect on your sun in Aquarius, Neptune is after all the great 'dissolver' and causes all sorts of illusions, confusions and delusions...

Niplan · #4 06-11-2009, 01:23 PM

how is it not clear... the signs are there clear, the degrees are there, and so are the aspect lines.. I turned off the outter planets because they arent used in traditional astrology why have something on the chart that i can't use. I even posted what everthing was at the very last sentance. And astro isn't acurate as the program i use is, As well Astro's charts are very ugly and use alot of ink to print. Furthermore, I remember an initial post i made asking of the value of outter planets, And even then I was told most ignore them as they are too slow unless dealing wtih wordly transits...

i think pluto is to be used as a wild card, not so much a planet with values and dignities, but as it is the furthest from the sun, it doesn't reflect light to earth, and by its nature its a secretive planet, hidden from the sun, with no purpose but to tint our lives with a splash of purple and black.

[deleted attacking comments inside the astrology - Moderator]

astrologer50 · #5 06-11-2009, 02:14 PM

T Neptune and Jupiter conj your sun and now jupiter may be affecting your ability to synthesise astrology [deleted attacking comments inside the astrological interpretation - Moderator]

wilsontc · #6 06-11-2009, 03:33 PM

Niplan,

You said:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niplan

a mind set has set in of fear of death, not my own death for some reason that doesn't bother me as much, but the death of others who i know. Ive developed some irrational fear of my own mortality. I don't realy care what will happen after death, but i do so i lied. But more so I think its a fear of being alone moreso then anything..."The only limitations on astrology are those we put unto it"...its kind of scary. not kind of, how about very!...my ferret like tendency and obession of seeking out that which shouldn't be known, or things that are "secret"

First of all, I am a modern astrologer who does use the outer planets and believes that they have personal effects on people's lives. I understand traditional astrologers do not use the outer planets and I respect their belief, but continue to use outer planets, because I have personally found them useful in making chart interpretations.

Hopefully that gets us past the "modern vs. traditional" argument!

What I find VERY interesting in your chart is you have

(transformation, also power, occult, death) modifying

(transformation, also power, occult, death)

(energy is combined with)

(the past). This indicates you can tend to "cling" to a focus on power, occult, and death, but this "clinging" while useful in some areas holds you back from moving forward in life. The challenge for you is to give up this hold on power over others and focus on developing your own values (

(physical, also personal values) modifying

(future goals) ). The more you focus on power issues, the more you will feel held back and the stronger your "death fear" will become.

Modernly,

Tim

katydid · #7 06-11-2009, 04:11 PM

The Nodal Axis perched on the Asc/Desc is striking here.

The SN , sitting like a black hole on your ASc, pulls you from the here and now,and into fallout from your your past incarnations. Perhaps the fear is a combination from past life experiences , involving your 'genetic memory' as a meta-physical healer. [ Tr Pluto Retro in the 6th, ruling the 4th, trining/sextiling the Nodes.]

The one thing you and I both share natally is a very powerful aspect. A fixed Pluto conjunct the SN in the 4th . I think both of us have a lot of old karma, metaphysically.
We brought a lot of the old knowledge and wisdom into this life with us, and that comes with some baggage as well. We may never feel normal, or fit in easily to regular social situations because of this conjunction. Oh we-ell.

When I first started studying astrology, I was like you. I felt like I was 'remembering' what I was reading. I absorbed it, like I was reviewing the material. It all made so much sense to me, like I was returning to my area of expertise somehow.

You have Mars/Saturn EXACT. That mirrors my Mars in Cap conjunct Chiron in the 8th. We NEED to learn to do no harm with our knowledge. I think that the resonsibility of that burden is being awakened. No problem. Jupiter is conjunct itself, guarding over you.

Niplan · #8 06-11-2009, 11:27 PM

so basicaly i'm and you as well katy may have been seen as alester crowley like figures. Some sort of person secluded in occult study using it to lord over humans, or associations with other creatures of existances maybe using them to do things on my behalf?

katydid · #9 06-11-2009, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niplan

so basicaly i'm and you as well katy may have been seen as alester crowley like figures. Some sort of person secluded in occult study using it to lord over humans, or associations with other creatures of existances maybe using them to do things on my behalf?

Precisely. Perhaps we were seers for the throne, which of course involved much backstabbing, in the literal sense.
Personally, I have always had an aversion to Crowley, like a phobia. I NEVER EVER wanted any of his writings or anything anywhere near me. I had an ex bf who made fun of me and taunted me about it but I was terrified of AC form whatever reason. Still am kind of.

I'll PM you my specific 'memories.'