Does he still love me and what is in his way of coming to me?

[Moonwhisper]

Hi everyone,
I am new to the forum and to horary as well, so I would be grateful if someone would look at my chart and assist me in reading it.
My story: My boyfriend of 7 years decided that he needed time from our relationship about 3 months ago mainly because he had to sort out some personal issues. I love him and I am missing him so much but time has passed and nothing is happening...
My question: Does he still love me and what is standing in his way of contacting me?

I am Mercury in 7th. He is Neptune in 5th. His co-significator is Jupiter.
Mercury is making a sextile with Neptune and with Jupiter which I suppose should be a good sign :59: .
My ruler of 3rd house of communications is Mars in the 6th. His is Venus in the 7th, in detriment in Aries. It is, however attached to Mars by reception.
Moon is making a trine with Venus, his 3rd house of communications’ ruler.
Uranus is conjunct Venus and Mars – our communication rulers. Does this point to the obstacles in our way of getting together?! Uranus is also on the Descendant...

Thank you in advance for taking the time to answer

P.S

By looking at his natal w transits btw (he is a Capricorn), Pluto is conjunct his Sun in the 1st at the moment and SaturnRx squares itself, nataly in the 7th and is conjunct his Moon . It is obvious that it is a tough time for him personally and he is really trying to deal with all this turmoil in his mind I just wish that he could reach out to me because I am here for him...

[RayAustin]

Moonwhisper, welcome to the forums!

You are Mercury and he is Jupiter foremost, Neptune is his co-significator.
For those new to horary I would say ignore the outer planets and/or focus on the relationships between the traditional planets as significators, first.
A sextile from Merc to Jup is a good sign, yes, a sign of opportunity and general good energy between you two, but with Mercury looking like it's accidentally in the eighth, to me shows more your anxieties trying to have a romance with him.

The moon is long separating from Venus, and since Venus rules his third, this aspect can be a past event of you talking to him. The next aspect is a trine to the Sun, ruler of the twelfth/eleventh, and the Sun sits in the seventh. The twelfth is not a favorable house but since Sun co-rules the eleventh (his fifth) to me this is the obvious connection between fears and general angst with romantic matters. What is in the way of you two would be the upcoming aspects and planets in his house.. Venus is in his house, not necessarily another woman but Venus rules his house of fears and anxieties, so that is strongly on his plate right now.

I don't see you two connecting soon, just keep in mind that a lot of people (even me personally ) are being affected strongly by Venus retrograde .. so you're not the only one suffering! See how things are after Venus goes direct.

[freedomlover]

Moonwhisper,

I'll give you my take on it. I'm still practicing my horary skills, just see if anything fits. Also, I don't always use the same methods as most.

You are Mercury in Aries on the cusp of his turned 2nd - your 8th. He is Jupiter in Aquarius in his turned 11th - your turned 5th.

Your communication house has 2 sigs - primarily Mars in Pisces in the 6th, and a secondary of Pluto in Cap in the 4th. His communication house (turned 3rd) is Venus(r) in the 7th house ( his turned 1st)

The Moon is in his turned 5th ( your 11th) in Leo - Cancer on the cusp.

The 5th and 11th house has alot to do with "hopes and dreams", "friends and lovers" and "one's place in this world". See how these themes may be coming up. In addition, the Moon in Leo can have to do with children, romance, dating,creativity, or one's own inner child issues. With Cancer on the cusp, it may be something from his childhood, which is common to come up during Venus retro. But of course, you say this started before the Venus retrograde.

There is alot of contact to be made. Moon will trine Mercury and oppose Jupiter. Mercury is sextile Jupiter. With Moon in Leo going to oppose his sig of Jupiter in Aquarius on the 5th/11th axis, he may very well be dealing with issues of how to integrate friends and lovers. His inner child may be screaming for freedom - and just need you to be his friend, and help him obtain it.

Were there any communication issues -especially over finances-between you before he left? Did you live together? The reason for my asking is that his communication sig of Venus(r) in the 7th is moving away from a square to your co-sig of Pluto in Cap in the 4th. Also, your sig of Mercury in Aries is on the cusp of his 2nd house - your turned 8th. This whole configuration could indicate arguments or communication issues over money, etc.

You also say that transiting Pluto is sitting on his natal Sun. This is definitely a time he will be re-examining his issues around money/success/career/materialism, etc. If I read correctly, transiting Saturn is also sitting on his Moon. This, too, can bring up work/career issues - mother issues, too - especially about criticism/perfectionism.

If there were no issues around money/work, etc - and you're pretty sure there is nothing simmering unsaid -- then you might want to consider reaching out to him. Your sig of Mercury is in Aries, and is still slightly in his 7th, and in your turned 8th of deep emotional bonds.

In addition, your co-sig - Chiron is in Aquarius in the 5th ( his turned 11th).
His sig of Jupiter will be conjuncting Chiron.

One other thing...... Neptune is very close to his turned 12th, and Uranus rules his turned 12th. Uranus is smack on the Descendant. Is there any chance he has any addictions he's dealing with - especially one you may not know about? or some kind of secret he is keeping? Your communication sig of Mars in Pisces is going to run right into Uranus on the 7th cusp.

Hope this sheds some light somewhere. Feedback is most appreciated.

Freedomlover

[Moonwhisper]

Thank you for your reply, RayAustin!

Freedomlover, I appreciate your insightful answer! You are right about so many of the things you have pointed to.

One of the main reasons for this to happen was that the problems in his life were just piling up one on top of another (business, family) and even though I was there by his side to give him my support and love, he started to use our relationship as a “venting ground” for all this tension that built up inside of him. Judging by all the meaningless arguments that he started from scratch, I could see that he was feeling so down that he wanted to isolate himself from the ones who love him, push them away and focus on what he has always been successful in – work and earning money. These were the only communications issues we had before he left. He just didn’t want to deal with the emotional turmoil that he was entangled in. When he told me that he needed time apart, I responded that I understood him and that I know what he is going through. He said that he is aware of that and he may be making the biggest mistake in his life, but I deserved to be loved so much better than the way he was treating me lately. He added that he needed to be alone with himself to see things in perspective and see if he misses me (quite interesing wording btw) and then he would come back to me and know that it will last forever.


Considering that, I do feel that there are things left unsaid and that he should be the one to reach out to me. I just think that he should confront the situation and come to me because if I initiate things as I have on numerous occasions when he had “retreated” emotionally (lasting only a few days), then he will not have the chance to evaluate his real feelings by coming to the realization that he does want us to be together (that he is too responsible for his happiness) and that our relationship is not just “imposed” in a way on him.
He was afraid to admit to himself that what we had was genuine probably because if he did, then he would be vulnerable and hurt if he ever lost it… He knows me very well and is aware that I am still here for him in spite of the time that has passed.

The roots of most his emotional troubles are indeed in his childhood. Freedomlover, it is interesting that you are referring to his inner child issues because he has talked about this with me on numerous occasions. He has even attibuted his problems with relationships with women as being the result of his stern mother’s approach to him. She had never sheltered him with the affection and love that he needed as a child and this has left a feeling of resentment towards her and at the same time a strive to find a partner who would compensate for that. Although he always portrayed himself as tough, he is actually very sensitive and emotional. In our relationship, he was struggling with expressing his feelings. He has commitment issues and despite the fact that we were together for such a long time, he was afraid that I would leave and he would be hurt again (our age difference or me being 11 years younger was a factor as well). He seemed to surround himself with a wall of mixed emotions, not realizing that the ones who love him will be there for him throughout the good and the bad times - he wanted to bear the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Integrating love in his life in a healthy way has really been a struggle for him, but in my opinion he will be able to obtain his freedom only if he reveals his true self to his loved ones a bit more often .

We were actually about to move in together in his new apt (in a month or so before he left). There weren’t any issues over finances between us but his focus lately was mainly on money and his business. He was having constant arguments over financial matters with his business partner – his brother-in-law. He is rather materialistic in nature, being a Capricorn after all, but I could feel that his constant focus on money was just overwhelming and would sooner or later take its toll. He was suffocating himself and his emotional life by shifting his perspective solely on finances and not dealing with his relationships and inner conflicts.

Addictions you say…. hm… work and money Other than that, I am pretty sure there are none. In regard to any secrets… well, I don’t think he was keeping anything from me since he is a very direct person and has always been straight forward about things.

I really hope that things will get better for him and he will eventually come to me because what we had was precious.

Sincerely,
MoonWhisper

PS
In my natal w transits, Uranus just got onto my Descendant too... interesting VenusRX and the Sun are still there as well. His Solar Return on the other hand, suggests very tough aspects with focus in the 4th. In his natal w transits, VenusRX is in the 4th as well, which really complements your thoughts regarding his childhood issues.
Maybe I should post our charts in some of the other sections...

[chadow723]

HI, can you post the time, place and date of the chart when you first asked the question?

Chadow723

[chadow723]

Hi Moon,

The chart indicates you are doing all the chasing. Your L-1 in the 7th
as well as Rx-Venus (your secondary lord in love matters) giving your quesited all the power. Next, the Moon is Peregrine in the 11th which explains your emotional upset, hopes and wishes are unrequited and the trine to Venus also indicates your attempts to reach your intended.

He, as 7th is Jupiter, and the Sun. Jupiter in Aquarius with L-Saturn in your 12th doesn't show any real concern for your welfare and adds to your worries.

I would imagine the two of you will get together for a brief time when Venus returns to Pisces and hash this out although I think the situation is deteriorating with Uranus on the 7th cusp.

The part for relationship is 5 Libra and with the Lord of Libra Rx Venus, the situation doesn't look favorable in the long run.

Sorry
Chadow723

[Moonwhisper]

Chadow723, thank you for the feedback!

At the moment, I am actually doing all the waiting and not planning on initiating contact with him - I have elaborated on this in my previous post. I know that he does care but he is just so entangled in his own inner turmoil that he cannot find the way to reach out (not only to me but to his loved ones).
As I mentioned in my last post, Uranus is sitting on my Descendant at the moment (looking at natal w current transits) and even though I am aware that it brings sudden change - in the face of positive or negative outcomes or inner transformations, hopefully in our case, some light will be shed throughout all this confusion :sunny:...

Sincerely,
MoonWhisper

[rafaella]

Hello Moonwhisper,

I think he will come back to you, but it will take some time before it happens.

you are mercury and he is Jupiter. There is a sextile, but as far as I can see, mercury is just starting to separate from jupiter.
Mercury (you) in the cusp of 8th house shows your anxiety. If we look at it other way, mercury (thinking) at his second house cusp could indicate his thoughts of self value and also money/personal finances (all that second house represents).

Moon in leo is peregrine, but in 11th house of hopes and wishes, its not too bad. But still moon is weak and slow.

Moon will trine with Sun, which is positive. Sun is also a co-significator of men, in this case your partner's co-sig. So maybe some positive contact will occur between you two in 3-4 units (weeks, months). But we have to look at last aspect of the moon to see how things will end.

Moon will oppose him (Jupiter). He is reluctant right now, staying away. There are obstacles. But moon will then translate the light of jupiter to mercury, reuniting you two. The problem is moon is pretty weak and will take some time. I believe by end of this year he will be back. (8-9 units, weeks or months. as moon is peregrine, months is more correct).

I had a similar chart with moon peregrine and significators not having contact, but moon connected us in the chart. In reality things were very slow to develop, and still after 5-6 months things are a bit slow, there are obstacles, but things are looking up.


Capricorns are slow and deliberate, they never take a step without thinking. I am a cappy myself, haha.
But have a guy friend of mine, who is a triple capricorn. He is happily married now. But he years ago left his wife for about 6 months on a journey of self exploration (this was before they got married). During those months he dated other people, broke a girl's heart, but came back to her. Grass was not greener on the other side after all.
Capricorns, when they decide they want to spend their life with you, they usually do that. So give him time, keep yourself busy, go and have some fun yourself. Don't sit and wait for him. I'm trying to do that myself, I know its hard when you so want to connect...

Hope this helps

Cheers,
R

[Moonwhisper]

I appreciate your answer, Rafaella!

You really seem to have a clear view of the whole situation It is so helpful to hear the opinion of someone who has witnessed a similar story and at the same time is familiar with "very" Cappy men and their way of thinking
I understand that there are some obstacles in our way of reconnecting but you are right that I should just give him his time and look after myself in the meantime... as hard as it is to be apart, I will try to smile and think positive...
I am glad that things are looking up for you .

Sincerely,
MoonWhisper

[Moonwhisper]

Hi all!

Well, it turns out that my ex, who decided to broaden his "self-exploration" into interpersonal exploration rather quickly decided to start an affair with a girl just a month after he fleed from the relationship. Hopefully he doesn't break her heart and she manages to see him through because he is in such turmoil now that instead of dealing with it and sorting his personal issues, is searching for someone to stroke his ego... just so sad.... Since I know him very well, I did expect this to happen but also since he has reached the point in his life of having to live it - not just flow on the surface and disregard his own and his loved ones' emotions, I believed that he would not ONCE AGAIN go on in the direction of living in illusions and refusing to look at himself with his eyes wide open.
I know he will deeply regred what he did, mainly to himself, because I know him and we had always had such a strong connection despite some of our differences. He will eventually wake up and see what he has lost on his way of striving for the top and "crushing" everything and everyone in his way (his family's words)... his best friends are in a huge confusion why on earth he did all that and is lying to this girl, instead of trying to fix things between us and come to terms with himself.
Well, we will see if the charts are right after all... To me if he is having Pluto sitting on his natal Sun in 1H and at the same time having Saturn on his Moon and squaring his natal Saturn in 7H would of course be a VERY tough time for him especially in dealing with women but it would also suggest that he has some lessons to learn and has some realizations to come to... he is running from that... he will probably come around eventually and like he said himself will want it to last forever but a lot of time has already passed... life will tell I guess...

Regards,
MoonWhisper