A VERY difficult listener

[phosphorboreas]

Alright, so I have the chart of a person who simply CANNOT listen to any advice or input. Especially serious input or that that conflicts with what's in his life (marriage partner for instance). He also hates pressure and he lies to make sure he doesn't take it. He also tries so hard to be a mediator that he ends up hiding his emotions to a horribly excessive extent.

Chart:

I can tell by the powerful Stellium in Cancer in 6th that he's willing to give himself to his family and will work anything for them. That's extremely true. That being said, he's also a doctor. I think this is a good placement for that. I would expect him to be much more passionate but his Capricorn Rising makes it necessary to put on a tough exterior that is all about business.

But the primary issue, listening, the only indicator I can see is Mars opposition Mercury. I think this would mean that his will and his ego makes it very hard for him to take in any criticism which he believes would jeopardize himself or his stability in things. Simply put, I think his own will is so stubborn that he will not take input from the outside. The emotional troubles I see is the Neptune square Venus, because his emotions probably deceive even himself and he can't make room for them to express themselves.

Do you see other traits of a bad listener? I don't mean listening as in actually hearing, but taking outside input and understanding it and taking it to heart.

Thank you

One note to add: His relationship with his mother was very problematic in childhood. Since he has a powerful presence in Cancer, basically the mother, this may psychologically mess up the energy there.

[milkywaygirl]

in regards to "hearing" his only air planet is sun. from what you have said it sounds like he has been identifying with his lunar self as well as all the cancerian energy in his chart, and not really going into his essential spirit as signified by sun. sun in gemini wants to hear everyone else and get opinions and consider everything equally and it doesnt sound like he is doing that. with little air in the chart there is a marked inability to self-reflect and instead act automatically and based on ingrained habits/complexes etc.

with mars (in opposition to his cancer stellium in the 6th) being ruled by saturn in scorpio in 9th, he may take what others are saying as an affront to him and his personal philosophies (saturn in 9th in scorp), so taking things much more seriously than they are really intended to be. mars and saturn are in mutual reception and so are operating independently of most of the rest of the chart, which is all geared towards cancer in 6th (with moon in virgo and mercury in cancer being mutually disposited and ruling over everything else). i see this being the essential split in himself that he needs to integrate as opposed to projecting outwards onto others. seems that he projects this mars/saturn onto others and so wont listen as perhaps he feels that others are trying to slow him down/make him feel impotent.

i would hazard a guess that moon in the 8th is playing a big role here, and perhaps going into and experiencing 8th house issues is what he really needs to integrate the mars/saturn into his chart and own that energy so to speak. moon is trine mars so the link and opportunity is there, but moon in virgo wants everythign neat and organized, and 8th house can get sloppy/messy/scary/incoherent.

from what you have said, this person strikes me as someone who is really not in touch with who they really are, and so far has been functioning from a very basic level of simply going with his cancer stellium. chiron in cap in the 1st backs up that statement, he is wounded around being his own authority and taking responsibility for who he is, and has been letting others (ie his mother) be the authority over him self.

just rolled out of bed so thats all i've got for now.

[Lissa]

Notice his Mercury is in Cancer.That alone doesn't have to mean anything at all,but a Mercury in Cancer can surely have sensitive ears,=be more sensitive to other people's opinions and take them as personal offenses,something which is supported by his Virgo Moon,aiming for perfection and being extremly sensitive to criticism.

Another thing that hit me about his chart is that he has Chiron rising.The Ascendant is our external persona,the mask we put on everyday.He has a wounded related to the way he is perceived by others;in Capricorn,that wound is directly connected to his need to be seen as independent,strong,courageous.Taking advice from others?That's just impossible!At all times,he must prove himself to be independant and resourceful,and this may go to the extreme where he may seldom admit he's wrong.

Deep down,this guy has a really good heart annd worries a great deal about the people he loves.He needs to come at peace with the fact that others won't think less of him if he calls for help every once in a while.Next timehe tries to advice you on something,ignore him;it will surely hit him in a sensitive place.Then you can be very open with him and let him know he doesn't always have to do on it's own.

[phosphorboreas]

Thank you all for your interpretations. Those readings were certainly something I would have never picked up.

I didn't realize how much Virgo was in his chart. 6th house has a Cancer stellium and a Virgo moon.

I'd like your input on the position of Saturn in Scorpio. I addressed this to an astrologer I know and they said this influence was "very powerful." Essentially, I want to see beneath the surface of this person. It is conjunct his Neptune which may lead to a restriction of emotions and possibly a horrible disfunction in the expression of emotions. This aspect is more shown in Neptune square Venus for me, but I think there's a major emotional blockage with these placements.

What I know, his mother would treat him like she didn't love him if he did something wrong. His mother is also extremely racist and prejudiced. I believe that since his stellium is in Cancer, the positive outreach of these planets would rely on the relationship with the mother. I'd like to think of his mother being the Mars in this chart. I think it's appropriate since his mother is a Capricorn and it's making some oppositions to his Cancer planets.

I think he has to feel like he's in control with his Pluto in intercepted Leo in the 7th house. This may tend to imply that his relationships tend to be with dominant and overbearing people.

I also really need an interpretation for the influence of Mars in 12th. He seems to be extremely vague a lot and tends to lie and work behind the scenes. My own interpretation would be that his aggressiveness is hidden so he really seems like he has no backbone, especially when arguing. I see it sort of as a Taurus effect, he's hard to anger, but when you do anger him it's a horrible reaction. I also think that his ambition and his work with his job tends to go unnoticed so it may be a spur for him to feel unappreciated.

What do you think?

[waybread]

Phosphorboreas, is it fair to say that this man doesn't listen to anyone, and that many people who know him well say that he doesn't listen, or is this your personal individual assessment? If it is the latter, you might look at your synastry. If you are hearing this criticism from someone who has told you that he doesn't listen, look at their synastry.

But I would think that Mercury-Jupiter conjunction counts for something. Jupiter has a pretty liberal "things will turn out just as they are" feel to it.

The 12th house planets are energies that are no doubt very apparent to others, but that are somehow hidden or inaccessible to the individual. This is partly because the 12th is the "house of self-undoing". A Mars in this house could behave in a passive-aggressive way.

Are you willing to say why this man's "inability to listen" matters to you?

[phosphorboreas]

He does listen except he only seems to really grasp things I say when he's already aware of them. That isn't really a positive medium. Whenever I say something that he may feel uncomfortable about or feel conflicts with he sees things, he seems to sort of avert that point and turn it to another subject.

I'm asking because this chart belongs to my father and whenever I have some sort of criticism or some acknowledgment that things need to change, he seems to hear but not listen. He doesn't really seem to take much action or try to defend his point even if he knows its not worth arguing. Basically he has to be aware of something needing to change before he can take anything I say to heart..

[waybread]

Thanks, Phosphorboreas. I might suggest a few things. One is that you look at your father's chart to see what particular types of things he doesn't care to hear from you. These may show up as signs, planets, or houses. You may find a particular affliction in relation to something like money, his health, his children, and so on. You might also look at your synastry and midpoint composite charts. For example, you might find an afflicted composite Mercury.

But at some level, I know what you mean! My not-too-funny joke with my husband is that he won't believe or take to heart certain things that I say. But if his older brother says them, they are suddenly absolute facts. I started my career as one of a very few women in a male-oriented profession. I found that some of the older men just wouldn't take any kind of insights or advice from me, even when I was sure of my facts. Whereas if another man made the same comments a week or two later, they would believe him. Is it possible that your dad has a lot of emotional investment in "Father Knows Best"?

My father and I could never agree on politics. It was just safer and more harmonious around the house not to discuss them.