Is it just my ego that wants to be an artist?

[Amber Wright]

I've always been interested in the arts more than anything else in the world! I drew constantly as a child started taking way to many photos for the amount of pocket money I had, wanted to be an actress, then a musician, then a photographer then I went to University and studied film-making... I really just wanted to study Visual Arts but this film-making degree (part of a BA Communications) was more academically reputable and I went with the advice of my upper-class world. Today, a year after having completed my degree I am feeling rather lost... I've been thinking I just want to be an artist and I need to just get back into painting and drawing and playing music and taking photo's (in the fine arts sense), and then I will find my passion and my medium become active and recognised enough in the art world to make a living from it.
The main thing I have continued to do and have some skills and work experience in is photography... but I can't seem to settle on it because I love other mediums that don't require so much technological involvement.
As I don't seem to have the discipline or drive or passion or something of great artists (like those we read about who started to create their greatest works in their late teens and continued to be brilliant until their death) I am beginning to wonder if I'm the real deal... or is just my ego that wants to be an artist?
I'm inclined to put great pressure on myself to be 'brilliant'! As I am wondering now, at 25, whether I'll ever be brilliant, I am giving up faith in trying.
From what I understand, my chart seems to say I should be working in other areas more so than the arts. However, I don't really no how to read it holistically and would love some help...

[Moog]

Well, your Sun rules the 1st, and sits in Taurus, which is the 10th, ruled by Venus.

It makes sense.

[Amber Wright]

I'm still learning about astrology- what does it mean when you say my Sun rules the 1st? I only understood that it was in the 10th house...

[Amber Wright]

Actually sorry for the silly question, I guess you meant that everyones sun always rules the first house...
Any suggestion as to whether I should listen to this part of myself and go ahead in working towards being an artist? Or is there a more essential path for me...

[Moog]

Originally Posted by Amber Wright

I'm still learning about astrology- what does it mean when you say my Sun rules the 1st? I only understood that it was in the 10th house...

First off, I should probably mention that I read sidereal zodiac, so to me, your 1st house is Leo, who is ruled by the Sun.

Each sign has a ruler, and you can look at what the ruler of that sign/house is doing to get an idea of what it means for you personally.

The first house relates to the body, persona, and self identity. We could say 'ego' but that's not quite a precise enough word. How you see yourself, certainly.

The Sun rules your first house, and is in the 10th house (Taurus), which is related to vocation, fame and status. That links them together.

Venus rules the 10th, and so the meaning of the sun connects with Venus, through being in a sign ruled by her.

We might say that the sun is where you 'shine', and the sun relates to the soul and the soul's purpose.

People do associate the Sun with 'ego' too, but I don't really like the word, it doesn't cover what it is.

I could certainly see that it makes sense that you might feel a desire for recognition in an art field.

Hope that makes sense.

[Amber Wright]

Thank you very much for your response.

I think I now understand what you mean... I haven't had a sidereal reading before. I'm not actually sure what kind of readings they were but the one I attached said my Ascendant (1st house, as I understand) was in Virgo. And another online reading I did said Pisces was on the 1st house Cusp.

Thank you for introducing me to sidereal zodiac, I will look into it.

[Amber Wright]

ps. Any other readers out there have any interpretations to offer? I'm still confused about my path...

[Moog]

Originally Posted by Amber Wright

Thank you very much for your response.

I think I now understand what you mean... I haven't had a sidereal reading before. I'm not actually sure what kind of readings they were but the one I attached said my Ascendant (1st house, as I understand) was in Virgo. And another online reading I did said Pisces was on the 1st house Cusp.

Check the birth time; it sounds like for one of those two charts, the AM/PM got switched.

Thank you for introducing me to sidereal zodiac, I will look into it.

That's okay, it's what I do

[gen6k]

if you want to make real art you have to be mentally ill. its about unleashing primordiality without aesthetization.

that grand trine does hit up asc, 5th neptune, 8th with venus and jupiter in it.

well youre going through a lot of trial still, but its important to build it up. your sun is placed in a really good spot for getting something done cause its both lateral and directional. youre 25 so you need a couple more years

i think you could make more money writing than painting, but painting would be okay if you practised technique.

i see what you are trying to do, i thought about a lot of things also, try to position yourself in a wide scope.


what you can do is cut tv out and some other actitivities and instead try to manifest your imagination. like you should have at least a couple of time sink habits. then you can be more renissance. well learn how to alot your time, like take one year to do a certain thing you fell in to then do something else but with a purpose.

well actually the mercury opposite saturn and square jupiter could be a problem in like certain types of writing, its probably okay for experimental type things but maybe not math.

[Amber Wright]

Right now I feel mentally ill!

Thanks for your reply!

A couple of questions, if you don't mind... what is the grand trine you refer to?/ what does it mean for me, creative path wise? and what does it mean when you say my sun lateral and directional?

Also, you said I am "going through a lot of trial still"... the last 10 months or so of my life has been full constant hard trials... can we see why in my stars... and when will it end? Feel's like I'm already in my saturn return, but I of course I can't be, I'm only 25!

[Southpaw]

Originally Posted by Amber Wright

Right now I feel mentally ill!

Thanks for your reply!

A couple of questions, if you don't mind... what is the grand trine you refer to?/ what does it mean for me, creative path wise? and what does it mean when you say my sun lateral and directional?

Also, you said I am "going through a lot of trial still"... the last 10 months or so of my life has been full constant hard trials... can we see why in my stars... and when will it end? Feel's like I'm already in my saturn return, but I of course I can't be, I'm only 25!

YOu have a Taurus Sun and Pisces Moon. I know someone with a similar combo. She's a tattoo artist and is passionate about all things arts.

You don't sound too different, just indecisive and unsure of what kind of art to specialize in.

Be whatever makes you happy. All that I ask is your medium of choice makes you capable of producing a good image of me.

[Southpaw]

Whatever kind of art you go into I think it'll definitely involve the media. I mean you do have a film-making degree, and films are quite dependent on the media.

Neptune is in the 5th house which suggests some artistic gifts which you appear to have according to your life story. Then it also makes an easy aspect to Venus, the planet of beauty, aesthetics, and all the related ****.

[fullmoonlibra]

Originally Posted by Moog

Well, your Sun rules the 1st, and sits in Taurus, which is the 10th, ruled by Venus.

It makes sense.

For a moment I thought this was my own post
My Sun rules the first too and sits in Taurus (13 degrees from MC, in 9th..)

[fullmoonlibra]

Originally Posted by Amber Wright

Right now I feel mentally ill!

Thanks for your reply!

A couple of questions, if you don't mind... what is the grand trine you refer to?/ what does it mean for me, creative path wise? and what does it mean when you say my sun lateral and directional?

Also, you said I am "going through a lot of trial still"... the last 10 months or so of my life has been full constant hard trials... can we see why in my stars... and when will it end? Feel's like I'm already in my saturn return, but I of course I can't be, I'm only 25!

So scary, Amber Wright, you sound like me
I have had the same hard period and am having a very difficult time to choose a career direction too.
I finally have chosen for film making, and I trust on my Neptune/Mars in fifth for that. Both are trine MC, Sun and Neptune also trine ASC
And they are the focal point of a T square and of a small talent triangle.
So maybe film malking is also something for you..

[lejla]

Originally Posted by gen6k

if you want to make real art you have to be mentally ill. its about unleashing primordiality without aesthetization.

Interesting, gen6k, you made me think...

Amber, I was wondering why do you want to change your profession? It's rather normal in our world (mine is similar, and I'm a bit older than you) to be sort of lost after getting a degree. Art is not really a sort of profession where you get degree, than you get a job, than you do what you love, than you get rich and famous... For most of people who don't do anything breaking while studying, after the degree there is this sort of struggle like "OK I've done it, what now? What do I do with it?". It's rather normal. Is that what is bothering you, or you relay realized that you don't like film making and want to switch completely?

By the way, It's not just your ego that wants to be an artist
It's you. And you have accomplished the first step towards it. So, I'm wondering why do you want to turn around now?