patience, emotions, and relationships -- quantum step

feelings, forgiveness, life's partner, family

Hello. This is my first post ever in the community. Transiting Saturn currently conjuncts my natal 4th house moon to the degree. Today transiting Mars is exactly squaring that conjunction from the 7th house. My natal chart hosts a Cancer stellium, with the moon's ruler also in Cancer. The rest is there in my attached natal chart.
This feels like a once in a lifetime quantum step challenge in awareness and growth--especially as relates to managing my feeling nature--and I'd like to live it as consciously and skillfully as possible. So I am asking for insights that you believe would be helpful. I will share corresponding life events if requested. I have a degree in psychology and have used astrology as a personal tool for about 36 years. So again, hello... and thanks.

Welcome to the AW forum, beyondme. I hope your visits here will be enjoyable and fruitful. I am not about to suggest to you how you deal with this because at the moment on this planet, we're all flying a bit blind, and we're all headed - together - into uncharted waters.

Saturn's conjunct to your natal Moon in the 4th is a difficult transit, and it can be isolating and frustrating - especially to an up-beat, optimistic Sagi Moon (My 9-yr old grandson has a Sagi Moon, and it is almost his best feature - he always sees the glass as being half full, rather than half empty, and he is so, so sunny.) Being in the 4th house, also, your sense of family/housing/home may look (temporarily) grim to you, but that is just Saturn's rather grey filter.

I am more interested in something much longer-lasting which is affecting you right now. The long-term transiting square of Pluto-Uranus is currently having an impact on your nodal axis - Pluto is almost exactly conj your MNN in Capricorn - and so contemplating where you are going in your life is significant right now. Uranus has been squaring this nodal axis on and off for some time. Tr Uranus can upset the sense that you know what you are doing and why, but it almost always brings genuine opportunities for change. Transiting Uranus from the 8th is certainly having an impact on the nodal axis, and Pluto's conj to the Moon's North node may be asking you to consider some alternative goals, perhaps some which afford you more freedom and personal reward. This may be achieved by firstly feeling that you have almost no freedom for making changes.

The T-square formed by your natal nodal axis, along with transiting Pluto and Uranus, is very much a (temporary) stress placement. Not only is your nodal axis under stress, but so is the Cancer stellium.

All I can say about dealing with such high levels of internal stress is to look at the outcome from the attacks on Charlie Hebdo in Paris. The populace responded with strength of a different kind, when the Je Suis Charlie `campaign' evolved. In the past, an act of violence such as that may have resulted in further violence in retaliation. To retaliate from a position of power and strength was a brave and ultimately wise act. With the transiting North Node currently in Libra, we are all being asked to respond to difficult time from a position of peace, collaboration and balance.
And sometimes, doing nothing is a reasonable thing to do for a time. Saturn on your natal Moon may sap your energy, as well as prevent you from knowing how to best act. I am sure that when the time comes, you will have the clarity and wisdom you need.

Re: feelings, forgiveness, life's partner, family

Hello Raven,
Thank you for your generosity in taking the time to formulate and post this very helpful reply. I definitely recognize the dynamics of your interpretation in my life. The intensity of the internal stress is indeed a challenge at this time, also the home life themes, the glimpses of opportunities according to my capacity and willingness to grow. I also appreciate the quote from Leonard Cohen, whose poetic music I listened to frequently when he first emerged almost four decades ago, I believe. I look forward to sharing more with you and the community in the future, when my energies permit it. So again, thank you.

And yes, I have been watching the Pluto - Uranus dynamic to the moon's nodes. Also, secondary progressed sun is now squaring natal MC in the 12th, entering conjunction with natal Pluto. So the expression "grow or die" on a spiritual and psychological level often comes to mind... and faith, practicing all I know, doing what I need to do for myself and others, facing shadow qualities.

And Jesus was a sailor when he walked upon the water
And he spent a long time watching from his lonely wooden tower
And when he knew for certain only drowning men could see him
He said, "All men will be sailors, then, until the sea shall free them."

the song Suzanne, by Leonard Cohen

Suzanne is another of my favourite Leonard Cohen songs.

I just thought I'd draw your attention to tr Uranus through your 8th house. I mentioned it previously in relation to tr Pluto and your nodal axis, but on its own, it can bring sudden and upsetting circumstances to any close and intimate relationships, as well as shared property/resources. What happens in this area of your life at this time will be somehow `necessary' for your soul's growth.
To give a (rather extreme) example of this from my mind-bank of other people's experiences, when my former sister-in-law had tr Uranus pass through her 8th house, she firstly had her (then) husband ask her to leave because he had someone else waiting in the wings. With the $$$ she got from the marriage settlement, she took off to another city, used some of the money to retrain, found herself another partner, who, needing funds to start up a business, used the remainder of her marriage settlement money to start his business ........ which failed of course. Then he began a long legal process, the details of which I've forgotten, and assured my sister-in-law that he had won the case, and she'd get her money back and more. She hung in with him, waiting for the money which never came. Then he died. Then ............ when she was able to examine his circumstances after his death, she discovered he'd been lying to her, and that he did not win the court case. My former sister-in-law then found herself with his debts, plus a mortgage to pay, and she had no regular work. In speaking to me at this time - when tr Uranus had only just left the 8th house - she said that she was determined to deal with it `as an adult should', and so, being a former teacher, she applied to use her house for Family Day Care (a form of child care centre funded by local government authorities) and within 3 years she'd paid off all debts, and done up the house ready for sale, in preparation for returning to her home state.
The good news is that since that time she has not looked back. She has said to me more than once that she needed that experience in her life to force her to look after herself and not rely on a man to do it for her.

Please note that I tell the above story as an example of what Uranus' passage through the 8th can bring, and not some fatalistic story of what you have to go through. My sister-in-law was approaching 50 at the time of her 2nd marriage break-up, and so she already had a lot of ingrained experiences and expectations of sharing resources which had need of being shaken up. She also spent a lot of the time - up to her partner's death -living in a state of hope/denial, which is very unlike her, as she is a very pragmatic Aries Sun.

For you, whatever is going on in the area of intimacy and shared resources, tr Pluto in Capricorn is pushing you somewhere you may not be comfortable going.

Thanks again for sharing so much. Yes indeed, there have been twists and turns related to a divorce due to long hidden adultery by my partner, deceit with shared resources, justice served in unexpected ways, demonstrated desire on her part to reconcile, threats of violence from her ex lover... and we are sharing care of the children, which, thankfully, we both see as number one priority. My father is also quite old and may well be exiting this world in the next year or two... and, thankfully, without pain and in his own home. So while I have had to deal with incredibly painful events and challenges never imagined in relation to family and partner affairs, there has also been a sense of progress and grace... which I can see astrologically as the exact natal uranus to mc sextile, to ic trine... as well as the exact jupiter to saturn trine. The deceit and illusions crushed, neptune to venus square. I don't if you have ever been attracted to Liz Green, but recently, after reading the samples, I decided to invest in her psycological astrology report through Astrodienst.... and the accuracy, specificity, and insight went far beyond anything I could have imagined and anything I have received in a personal chart analysis.... I don't know how that was accomplished in a computer generated analysis, but it is extraordinary... I had one done for my son and ex wife as well... everything was right on target and in surprising detail... just came to mind. Thanks again, Raven.

Thank you for your honesty, beyondme. I had not expected you to divulge what it is has motivated your questions, but it is clear now in light of what you have said. I cannot imagine what it would be like to have to navigate this level of life change at the age you are. The most dramatic and upsetting times of my own life were in my mid 30's to late 40's, and by that time I was able to capitalise on this change by slowly developing both a thick skin and a reasonable body of life wisdom. If nothing else, fundamental and upsetting changes have the potential to leave a person significantly wiser and stronger.

I wish you all the best on your journey, and I also hope that other members pass by here. I feel like I am hogging the thread, and I have no wish to be doing that.

Thank you for your compasionate and encouraging message. I have always felt like a child or teenager who consciously decided not to exchange that freedom of perspective in exchange for what I always perceived to be a much more lifeless 'adult reality'. I can actually recall making that decision. In exchange, I seek to live as much in alignment with God's intentions as possible, and I have sought and cultivated this relationsihp with God throughout my life. It is only this obsolute confidence that everything I live is part of a much greater and ultimately loving plan that gets me through. My intuition and the extraordinary tool of astrology tell me that the next years of my life will be as new and full of potential as any I have lived thusfar... and quite possibly the most productive. But during the past two years through the present I am definitely passing through some of the most painful and difficult challenges I have ever experienced.
Thank you again for your caring and helpful replies to my post.

Didn't read all the posts....but Saturn to the moon can bring about an identity crisis...especially in the 4th house ....and course you had that crummy Neptune square moon recently which thankfully is moving on....so ....between Jupiter around your Asc, Saturn to the moon, Pluto and Uranus pulling the rug out....no wonder you are looking for some sort of ---well, something.

You have and are undergoing a transformation...which is affecting your identity, personality, goals.

You've probably read and used "Creative Visualization".....but I think it's always good to "revisit" it. As things change in your life your perspective changes too.

If you can obtain a copy of the series, "The Power of Myth" (on DVD) I think it would do you a lot of good and bring some balance and perspective....and help you figure out what is normal transformation as you age and what is transitory and what you want to keep and what you want to get rid of....both symbolically and materially.
LIN

Hello Lin, I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to look over my chart and offer your perceptions. Thanks for the positive chuckle in describing the Neptune squaring Moon as "crummy"! Yes, I have used Creative Visualization techniques in the past, and I will see what comes up as an appropriate one to use now. Also will take a look at "The Power of Myth" series you recommend. all the best to you...

HI Beyond,
If you try to use a word more accurate than "crummy" the site removes it and uses asterisks. I've worked around this by shortening a word, putting $$ in place of a letter, etc.
But when I wrote that I was tired....so...just said crummy. It's much worse than crummy...gtms (giggle to my self).
LIN

Hi Lin,
Oh, it was crummy, all right..... as in lots of undefined, scattered, constantly altering perceptions, feelings and thoughts leaving me feeling like I was wondering which crumb I was and what kind of cracker I would turn out as in the end! Neptune stationed exact to the degree--twice I think--in that transiting square to the moon--and I, with a stellium in Cancer. I knew I had some fixed, resistent emotional patterns to be lossened up, but it seems the powers at work weren't taking any chances in obligating me to do that!

can't help you much mate but the best thing is not to think about it when you get up.. if you don't go over it , those strong negative feelings attached to the dream, usually go away... ignoring something is a very powerful mind technique

Hello GemaaSpirit,
Thanks for taking the time to reply. Your suggestion is intuitively right on target. I am fighting with precisely that right now... not going over the thoughts when I wake up... they just keep pounding in and it is my conscious effort to now let that dream-like past just fade away as I move on. Saturn returns in retrograde transit over the natal Moon in May and last direct transit in October. I'm definitely applying everything I've learned with techniques like Zen meditation and Qigong breathing and energy circulation to get through this, and my inherent faith in God. At the same time running a small business and raising kids... Have to get into a nasty inner fighting mode at times to keep going and cut through, but that's okay for now. Thanks again, mate, because you reinforced that what I'm doing is on target.