You guys are all describing my placements. Stop it.
My grandmother had Mercury in Leo, but her Sun conjunct Pluto may have made her intensely emotional and closed minded (bless her heart though). My brother also has Mercury in Leo, but has the Moon in Aquarius, thereby creating an opposition to his Mercury. His moon makes him cool and rational (Aquarius), yet his thoughts are so tied into his pride (Leo) that it negates the latter.
Former friend "B" had Sun conjunct Mercury in Aquarius opposite Moon. She always tooted her horn on her own intelligence and it was virtually impossible to have a truly equal conversation. At first, I attributed it to her youth (we were high school classmates) and didn't think much of it, but as the years wore on it wasn't so innocuous. That and she liked to channel her thoughts (evil Mercury) to the dark side whenever a lover rejected her advances. "B" had a pyramid that she "manifested" curses into and apparently it worked because a boy that turned her down got into a car accident and injured his shoulder. Maybe it was coincidence; I never liked black magic. She later expressed remorse that she took things too far.
Oppositions can either improve us by challenging us or weaken us and turn us into a liability. One pattern that shows up in these charts is a prominent Pluto, afflicted Mercury, Moon and dominance of fixed signs in equally detrimental positions. Thanks to Blue Lioness for bringing up this subject. I didn't stop to think how important it is to consider this in a chart.
One of the most interesting cases is my friend who has
Mercury at 0 degrees Leo on the ASC and opposite the Moon and square Pluto. Mercury makes positive aspects to Mars and Jupiter. He is the most talented poet and he makes the most amazing poems and he is amazing listener for other people's problems....BUT
when it comes to HIM, he does not listen to ANYTHING. He just mirrors it back to the other person and says that "you only see that in me because of yourself" and even though to some extent that is true, that attitude seriously impairs his ability to grow in relationships and in himself. He can keep a light relationship and has a wide circle of friends and many admirers, but close relationships are impossible with him because he is unwilling to question himself in relationship to anything.
Another example is a person who many people find very difficult to communicate with. He almost seems like he has some kind of deficit, cause he does not communicate really like normal people do in a conversational setting. When the other person talks, they might just skip to another subject all together and not notice the other persons previous message at all. It is hard to say if he is listening at all or not. He also thinks constantly that other people do not understand him, when in fact he might not understand other people
He is also very very determined and single minded in things.
He has Mercury in Cancer retrograde inconjunct Neptune and square Pluto. He does also have positive formations with Uranus and Mars.
I have Rx Leo Merc, combust, opposition Moon, square Pluto, inconjunct Neptune.
Lots and lots of problems with communication through my life. I don't know if everyone who "doesn't listen" is like this, I believe they are not generally because I know the type that you're talking about, but sometimes I have problems listening because (to break it down):
1. Rx Mercury - it takes time to process thoughts. So I tend to be "still processing" while someone is talking. Like a lagging computer. Yet my expression is very quick (Gemini ASC). I often realize what people are saying much later after the processing is complete. Writing as a form of communication is
very helpful in this regard.
2. Mercury Leo sq. Pluto - I feel like this placement causes me to be dramatic/forceful in expression, which can sometimes make people feel I won't listen to them or won't change my mind. I've been very stubborn in the past, but...
3. Mercury opp. Moon - This actually saves it, I believe. Moon forces reconsideration constantly. It "balances" mercury with empathy and mindedness that wouldn't otherwise be there. The struggle with this placement is that it creates an ability to see "both sides" of issues, and find both have merit. I was actually asked to be a class counciler/mentor in grade school because I was diplomatic and listened to everyone's side. Even if I'm forceful in how I express myself, I am
always willing to change my mind and entertain another point of view. However, it's easy to get "lost" in other people's opinions and feelings OR in my own, and creating a real dialogue can be difficult because of that (Sun opposition to Moon as well; and I think Gemini ASC also has to do with this). Like kailaniatsea says, oppositions can be helpful or hurtful depending on how they are handled.
4. Mercury inconjunct Neptune - This causes communication blind spots. My mind can often "check out" without my realizing it. It's very frustrating. It's not that I'm not trying to listen, or too caught up in myself, it's just my brain will literally involunatrily
shut off for small periods of time. What it's doing, I don't know. Maybe time traveling?
I think this also feeds back in the Rx "processing", because I know this happens and have to review information over and over to make sure I didn't miss something. Ebenia, this may be what's happening with the person you describe with this placement, as well.
Another really important point about how Mercury is positioned is that an afflicted Mercury might actually help a person who has it in a fixed position, combust or otherwise shows signs of being self-centered. This is because it signals difficult communication, and if that is the case, such a person may come to be a
better communicator with others because they are forced to through these difficulties.
One person that was notable for their lack of listening skills was a friend of mine who, no matter how hard you tried, would not listen to you if they didn't like what you were saying. Often they would create a problem, and then blame others and ignore their role in it to an extreme degree. Someone finally got him to listen by literally writing a 40-point list of everything that was wrong with how he was behaving (i.e. "beating on my door for 10 minutes because you are mad" type of wrongs), sat him down like a child and read him the list in
blistering anger. It was quite a sight. I think that was the first time he was quiet and listened. Of course, it was an Aries Sun/Moon woman that did this!
He has Aquarius stellium: Sun, Mercury, Venus and Jupiter conjunct in 11th house, square Mars/Saturn conjunction in Sag, Aries Asc. Moon has no major aspects in Capricorn, Neptune on MC. It's a very interesting chart actually!
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