Between the devil and the deep blue sea

[Bradders]

Today, under a transit perhaps, I am suffering with a serious health situation that I am fearful of taking, but if not taken, it could endanger my health more to a serious degree but I choose not to be worried and imagine painful scenarios. I am simply fearful to act. My brain is constantly criticizing itself, my sensibility is telling me to act, but both seem embarassing, silly and stupid.

Perhaps I would require advice right now on how to act, as it is embarassment with a doctor, and what it says in my chart on how to act.

I apologise however, with the indecency of this chart. I realise it is different to many astrologers I have dealt with before, but is a chart I would put upmost faith in personally, and something is lodging me to act and pioneer with it. Atleast with my assurity with the feelings felt with the chart. This feeling is almost dominant, and something inspires me to flow with it. Surely one should be able to relate with his chart deeply and feel the energies of the chart with the extremes; polarity? With this I am happy. Plus I am placing my gut feeling into it.

[IleneK]

Originally Posted by Bradders

Today, under a transit perhaps, I am suffering with a serious health situation that I am fearful of taking, but if not taken, it could endanger my health more to a serious degree but I choose not to be worried and imagine painful scenarios. I am simply fearful to act. My brain is constantly criticizing itself, my sensibility is telling me to act, but both seem embarassing, silly and stupid.

Perhaps I would require advice right now on how to act, as it is embarassment with a doctor, and what it says in my chart on how to act.

I apologise however, with the indecency of this chart. I realise it is different to many astrologers I have dealt with before, but is a chart I would put upmost faith in personally, and something is lodging me to act and pioneer with it. Atleast with my assurity with the feelings felt with the chart. This feeling is almost dominant, and something inspires me to flow with it. Surely one should be able to relate with his chart deeply and feel the energies of the chart with the extremes; polarity? With this I am happy. Plus I am placing my gut feeling into it.

I wonder please if you might state what you would like to know.

[Bradders]

Well, I've always had it. I have ambition to act but at the same time, a fear holds me back so strongly. I was wondering where in the chart this occurs. I'm so had enough of being fearful but I am quite aware if I act too fast, I'm going to end up in extremely embarassing scenarios; particularly it feels life is teaching me to care less what others think, despite the faculty is quite extreme!

I'd love to know where in the chart this occurs. Everyday, my dreams are being followed or dashed by extreme impulsivity at times that defies all logic, yet, acting too soon sometimes is terrifying and even irrational to the point of never trying anything.

[IleneK]

Originally Posted by Bradders

Well, I've always had it. I have ambition to act but at the same time, a fear holds me back so strongly. I was wondering where in the chart this occurs. I'm so had enough of being fearful but I am quite aware if I act too fast, I'm going to end up in extremely embarassing scenarios; particularly it feels life is teaching me to care less what others think, despite the faculty is quite extreme!

I'd love to know where in the chart this occurs. Everyday, my dreams are being followed or dashed by extreme impulsivity at times that defies all logic, yet, acting too soon sometimes is terrifying and even irrational to the point of never trying anything.

Well, first let me suggest that if you need to see a doctor, do it. Don't play around if this is a serious health matter, regardless of positions in your natal chart.

Now, as to why is it difficult for you to act and also difficult to resist impulsive action.

Difficulty to act: Mars is dignified in Aries, goes straight forward. It is exalted in Capricorn, also a go-getter, straight up a mountain, if necessary. So Mars in the sign opposite Capricorn is in what is called its fall. It cannot go forward so easily. Cancer is the sign of the crab. The crab goes forward, but while also moving sideways. Not at ease with direct motion.

Strong force to act: Mars is trined by strong Pluto in Scorpio located Pluto's 8th house. So Mars may feel compelled to strongly go forward, contrary to its inherent crab-like manner. Mars' sense of terror may be connected with Pluto's often overwhelming and unrelenting force upon it.

Irrational action: Mars is opposed by unpredictable and surprising Uranus. Mars-Uranus challenging contacts are often connected with risk-taking, and sometimes irrational risk taking. My astrology teacher mentioned that he knew a number of military fighter pilots that all had Mars-Uranus conjunctions.

So you have strong forces from the outer planets acting on Mars in its fall, and I can see how the impulses and their unknown outcome could be disturbing. I think this uneasiness about acting, as well as not acting, may be reflected in the inconjunct between Mars and Mercury. The energies between inconjunct planets tend to flow back and forth without being easily integrated. In this instance, it may be that your mind is disturbed by trying to keep up with and processing what your Mars has to undergo in its aspects with Pluto [force, terror] and Uranus [impulsive, irrational].

This is one viewpoint...

[Bradders]

Thanks. =3

I guess it's just learning to integrate it overtime! ^^