What is the future of my marriage

apk

Member
I am from India and I got married in March, 2011 in India. My wife and I were colleagues in the same Organization and were good friends before marriage. I fell in love with her and proposed. She wasn't in love with me, but since her parents thought this was a good proposal, she also agreed to this wedding. After the wedding, I realized that she was a little detached and wasn't caring. She was dominant, bossy and could be very blunt and rude at times. But other times she was extremely loving and caring to the extent that I have not experienced such love from anyone in my life, not even from my parents. It was a mix of extremes.. either it was too good or too bad. She was never interested in a physical relationship. It was 3 months after marriage that we had our first physical contact. We have not mated for more than a dozen times in the course of the almost 9 months we lived together, that too not in a complete and fulfilling manner. There have been equally happy moments of love too when we had a lot of fun and happiness watching movies, cooking, going out for dinner, spending time with each other talking, cleaning the house etc etc. But sometimes she totally accused me of things I did not mean. for eg: If we were going out of dinner and I asked her to "hurry up and get ready soon" she would say "so you feel that we will miss the dinner because of me.. ok I am not coming".. things like that which I never ever meant. She completely avoids and ignored me at times and this made me very depressed. There have been times when I have taken out my frustration on my own body by hitting my head and chest, to get her to at least acknowledge my presence because she has totally ignored me for days together.. I was also sexually frustrated at lot of times. In December 2011, I traveled to America for official purposes. We hugged and cried when parting at the airport.. we were so full of love when I left india.. But 2 weeks after I reached US a fight broke out.. It was so ugly and my parents got involved. Now she totally cut off all contact with me and my family. Deleted me from facebook, blocked me. Blocked me from our office communicator. Doesnt respond to any calls, messages or mails from me or my parents. She said she wants divorce. Its been a month and a half since this incident and its been exactly one month since we spoke to each other today. I really want to salvage this relationship and hope to get this marriage back on track by doing counselling etc. But I feel she is very strong in her decision and is drifting farther and farther every day. I really want to know the future of this marriage. Please help me.
 

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rafaella

Well-known member
I'm very sorry for what you are going through. Unfortunately, you posted your natal chart, in this section we require horary charts - the chart that was 'born' when you asked this question.

When a question comes into your mind and you want to know the answer, you check the time the moment the question came to you and then go produce the chart on astro.com...


Hope this clarifies it!
 

agarth

Well-known member
It's true that a horary chart posted by the Original Poster is more convenient, but it is in no way necessary. If the astrologer is interested in providing an answer, he or she can always create a chart for the moment they understand the question, as I have done here.

What is the future of my marriage?
25-02-2012
9:26am
Decatur, GA


First of all, let me express my deepest sympathy for your situation. I'm afraid that I do not have good news.

Aries rises, with Venus, ruler of the 7th (your wife), hovering over the cusp of the Ascendant. In this chart you are represented by Mars retrograde in the 6th house of "bad fortune", indicating your weakness in the situation. Mars is in his joy in the 6th house, so you may be feeling like you want to "fight for your love", or that you "have the spirit to overcome this challenge." Unfortunately, in my opinion, it's out of your hands.

The Moon co-rules the question, and in this case rules the 4th house which represents "the end of the matter". The Moon is applying to the conjunction of Venus, your wife, which seems to indicate that you will be hearing from your wife soon. Maybe even in two days, as cardinal signs represent days and the Moon is two degrees away from your wife's significator Venus. However, as the Moon represents "the end of the matter in this case", you may be receiving word from her that the marriage is over. Further corroboration for this is shown by the position of the retrograde Saturn, in, as Dr. Farr has pointed out, the pitted last degree of Libra right inside the 7th house of marriage and the spouse. Retrograde planets, planets in the 30th degree and planets in pitted degrees do not behave well, so despite Saturn's exalted status in Libra, I would not be expecting good things from his presence in the 7th. Saturn also represents endings, unsurmountable hurdles and depression, and the Moon makes its last aspect by opposition to Saturn. The marriage is over. Notice that Venus is also applying to the opposition of Saturn. As well as representing your wife, Venus is naturally the goddess of love and the Lady of Marriage. Saturn is cold and his opposition to Venus will "cool" her ardor and affection. Note also that the Moon is translating the light from Venus to Saturn.

Also of note is the fact that the planet representing you is in Virgo and the planet representing your wife is in Aries. There is no Ptolemaic aspect between these signs, so there is "no relationship" between you two.

From your description of your marriage that you have given us, it sounds like it has been less than optimal for both of you, but that the onus of the emotional strain and unhappiness has rested on you. Despite your feelings of love for this woman, the end of this marriage may actually be a positive step towards finding a partner who is able to love and care for you on a more consistent level. It is my sincere hope for you that such a relationship will be the case.:devil:
 

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Vista

Well-known member
Hello Apk,
I started to move our thread to the "Read my chart" but see Agarth posted a horary chart for you. The concern I see with Agarth delineation is that in my mind he would be the querent, i.e. first house ruler, you would be the 7th house, and I would think your turned 4th house would be your wifes ruler. Now, I am no expert at horary, however since Agarth is involved with the reading he would have something to do with this chart, i.e. be the 1st house ruler I would think. Not suggesting he is wrong, just wonderubg about this. Maybe one of the other experienced Horary astrologers will step in too.

Vista
 
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Vista

Well-known member
With what I said previously, if we use your wife as Saturn(i.e. the turned 10th house or your 4th house) she is sitting right on-top of your DEC, or your ASC in the turned 1st house. She would be opposing the DEC or your marriage. In addition, the last aspect the Moon makes is an opposition to Saturn, again an unfavorable outcome. You, or Mars is in your turned 12th house of sorrow, this is affecting you greatly but you are unable to act on it as she has taken all the power away by her actions. As mention by Agarth, Saturn is in a pitted degree and retrograde, so she is not in good shape either although she has more power because of being in an angular house and elevated in Libra. So, I think the outcome will be the same as what Agarth suggested, she will contact you, however I don't believe any good will come of it based on the final aspect of the Moon opposing Saturn.

If you don't mind my saying so, I think you could find someone who would treat you better.
 

apk

Member
Thank you all very much for your analysis and responses. I was actually hoping that something positive, Though it doesn't really appear to be so. Is there anyway someone can actually tell me my future.. as in what will happen to my life on the marriage front in future as this present marriage appears to fail.
 

Vista

Well-known member
Thank you all very much for your analysis and responses. I was actually hoping that something positive, Though it doesn't really appear to be so. Is there anyway someone can actually tell me my future.. as in what will happen to my life on the marriage front in future as this present marriage appears to fail.

I am sorry you are feeling down, but you have to know what you described as your married life cannot be healthy. Better to get out early and move on before it gets complicated and you bring children into the situation.

Now, transiting Saturn will come back for a final time in the next few months and negatively aspect your 7th house cusp and Venus, this house rules your relationships. I believe at this time your marriage will likely dissolve or you could be served with divorce papers, or if you already have, they could be finalize at this time. This transit lasts a while, so it could be over a few month time period. Soon, you will have Transiting Uranus sextiling your Sun in the 7th house too, this could be a freeing time for you or a time of acceptance. I think you will be ok, I really do. Just let the universe take you where you are suppose to go.

If you want a little more detail, if you could add transits and progression to your natal chart and reattch, I think we will be able to give you more informaiton.

Vista
 

agarth

Well-known member
Hello Apk,
I started to move our thread to the "Read my chart" but see Agarth posted a horary chart for you. The concern I see with Agarth delineation is that in my mind he would be the querent, i.e. first house ruler, you would be the 7th house, and I would think your turned 4th house would be your wifes ruler. Now, I am no expert at horary, however since Agarth is involved with the reading he would have something to do with this chart, i.e. be the 1st house ruler I would think. Not suggesting he is wrong, just wonderubg about this. Maybe one of the other experienced Horary astrologers will step in too.

Vista

Just to clarify, even though I created the chart, the 1st house would still be considered the original querent, and not myself. I basically treated the time as though he had asked me personally, since I have no emotional stake in the question. It seems that we have come to the same conclusion, though.
 

apk

Member
Thanks a lot. What is transit and progression. Where can I get this chart from, I do not know anything about astrology. I would really like to know the possibility of a future marriage in life.. a happy one.. Please let me know how, I shall provide you with the progression and transit chart you mentioned. Thanks so much again.
 

Vista

Well-known member
Thanks a lot. What is transit and progression. Where can I get this chart from, I do not know anything about astrology. I would really like to know the possibility of a future marriage in life.. a happy one.. Please let me know how, I shall provide you with the progression and transit chart you mentioned. Thanks so much again.


You know I was looking at your chart now that you added in the transits, I am thinking your wife might come back around again. Retrograde planets usually are a return to a previous situation. I believe Saturn will come back to conjunct your 7th ruler Saturn, BUT at the same time is will square your Venus and DEC ruler. So, I still think the outcome will not be favorable. you might be wasting your energy on something the is doomed to fail, but you might need to do this to have some closer instead of thinking "what if." May I ask a question, was this an arranged marriage or did you meet on your own volition? The reason I ask is, you have natal Uranus in your 5th house of romance and it's squaring your natal Moon. There is a slightly erratic quality to your emotions, maybe one minute "your in" and the other instance you are "out." Now, this can be projected onto the woman you are with and based on what you have shared it seems this is what happen with your wife. You also tend to like women who are unavailable to you in some way, with your wife clearly it was emotionally and physically as from an intimacy standpoint. This will be a problem if you are not careful. Think about past relationships if you have had them, is there a theme there of them being "unavailable" in some way, or perhaps you were the one that was not as interested, again it could go both ways.
 

apk

Member
Hi, My wife and I were colleagues at work. We were good friends. I proposed to her, called up her parents and got my parents to approach her folks with a formal proposal. Then the elders in both families spoke to each other and she was also ok with the wedding. So you could say that this was a love marriage from my point of view and an arranged marriage from her point of view.

About past relationships. I liked a girl in college. both of us liked each other but then she got married to someone due to parental pressure, different religion etc etc. Then I had a relationship with another girl but it broke off soon coz things didnt work out. We were fighting a lot and we stopped meeting each other and slowly we didnt even call each other and finally we decided to break up. I took the decision in breaking up. There was nothing physical in either of these relationships. Do let me know if there is anything else you would like to know.
 

Vista

Well-known member
Hi, My wife and I were colleagues at work. We were good friends. I proposed to her, called up her parents and got my parents to approach her folks with a formal proposal. Then the elders in both families spoke to each other and she was also ok with the wedding. So you could say that this was a love marriage from my point of view and an arranged marriage from her point of view.

About past relationships. I liked a girl in college. both of us liked each other but then she got married to someone due to parental pressure, different religion etc etc. Then I had a relationship with another girl but it broke off soon coz things didnt work out. We were fighting a lot and we stopped meeting each other and slowly we didnt even call each other and finally we decided to break up. I took the decision in breaking up. There was nothing physical in either of these relationships. Do let me know if there is anything else you would like to know.


Thank you for being so open!! I noticed Trasiting Saturn is also returning to conjunct your natal Pluto in the 4th too, I was looking at the gragh rather than the chart itself and missed this. Yes, I do think she will come back around, your wife. Boy, I just don't this being a happy of a situation for you, at least beyond the initial reunion if that even happens. Saturn is hitting your home and relaitonship house and significator's in a negative way. For the time being, I am really not seeing anything new relationship wise, too many things you have to deal with in terms of your current wife. But in general, I think you could have a happy marriage if you find the right person. It almost seems like for her it was a "good marriage" rather than a real love match, not suggesting she didn't love you in some way. This plays into your pattern that I spoke of unfortunatley. Hopefully other's will add something here.

Edit: I also wanted to point out the Horary seems to point to the same outcome as the transits. Sorry!!
 
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apk

Member
I am sorry I didnt quite understand the meaning of what you have said. You said she will come back to me. and at the same you also said said that the transits and Horary point out the same meaning...? I am really sorry. Please forgive my anxiety. My situation is such... I am really desperate. These are my questions, specifically: Will my wife come back to me? If she doesn't, Will I have another marriage in life, and if yes, when can I expect that?
 

rafaella

Well-known member
Agarth,

I did think about creating a chart for the moment when I understood the question, but I am not the only astrologer here and that means there would be a lot of 'moment's here...if it was a paid reading and a client came to me then no doubt I'd create a chart like you did, but in a forum like this, I don't think the chart you created is the correct one....

I won't be able to read it, as I read his question before you and that chart probably would look different
 
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Vista

Well-known member
I am sorry I didnt quite understand the meaning of what you have said. You said she will come back to me. and at the same you also said said that the transits and Horary point out the same meaning...? I am really sorry. Please forgive my anxiety. My situation is such... I am really desperate. These are my questions, specifically: Will my wife come back to me? If she doesn't, Will I have another marriage in life, and if yes, when can I expect that?

No, I meant to say I think she might come back around the best case scenario, however the horary and transits suggest it will be an eventual unfavorable or bad ending, i.e. divorce. Sorry I confused you!! I think really your wife seems a little unstable emotionally based on what you have shared with us. It seems it really might be best for you to cut your losses. I mean the behavior she is displaying this early on is very concerning, imagine years from now what you might get?
 

rafaella

Well-known member
Apk,

I agree with Vista, this marriage seems to be very disturbing and it is not in your best interests to keep pursuing it... If you do bring kids into it, it will be much more harder. From what you have told us, your wife seems to have 'borderline personality disorder' and it is very difficult to live with a person like that for the longterm. A person like that cannot be reasoned with and in relationships makes life hell for the people who love them the most. She will be hot and cold towards you throughout your life and when you have children she will use the children against you and make you feel guilty....You have only been married one year and you feeling depressed, do you really want to spend the rest of life with a person like this? SHE WILL NEVER CHANGE... you cannot change a person like that...

If I were you, I'd run and fast. If she wants a divorce, you can kiss your lucky stars!! I know you want to work it out, but you need to think twice before you try to work it out with a person that is this unreasonable.

Looking at your chart with Capricorn at your 7th house, you seemt to always fall for people who are in someway distant or not as emotional. Relationships are more restrictive, while you yourself (with Cancer ruling your 1st) you are much more family oreineted and emotional, very caring. So there may always be this difference between you and partners.

However, if I follow the Rushman's theory for marriages, it seems you will get married again and that marriage will be much more balanced and giving. Your Moon in the chart forms 3 aspects, the 1st is Uranus - that could be the wife (as you haven't had a major relatonship so far), Uranus has this unpredictable nature and the square shows some obstacles and difficult in the relationship.

Next aspect is to Jupiter, Jupiter is a wonderful planet, very beneficial and fun. In Scorpio this Jupiter will be more emotional, passionate and caring. This might be the love of your life. This is yet to happen... so hold on! The trine shows a beautiful relationship. This woman will come in your future and she may have Scorpio as her Ascendant or possibly Sagitarrius...

There is another possible relationship for you that comes in form of Neptune, but this might be later in life...again its a square, so possibly not a strong relationship...just a companionship later in life...


So from looks of it, your love life will improve, take this marriage as a lesson - entering a marriage where the person has no feelings for you may not be the best decision!...
 

anoop.indirapuramghazibad

Well-known member
HI Arun,
I agree that your wife is disciplined, attractive, charming loving, intelligent and caring too. Difference is in bedroom. You like non traditional methods, for her I can not say, because, I don't have her horoscope. Your moon is Asc. lord and is placed in 8th house. That indicates that your mood is... what I mean to say is avoid depression environment, and enjoy life. Even in your childhood days when you were sick, god was there to save your life. If possible you can send details of your wife so that I can see solutions
Good luck.
 

Vista

Well-known member
Nice reading Rafaella! I was curious about your using the Moon as his partner significator, is it because he is Cancer rising or is this a general ruler? Do you use Moon for both sexes and do you count separating aspects? I have read similar things before and find it very interesting. I will have to check out friends charts that I have birthdays of their ex's and see if they fit. I will also look up Rushman's theory.
Apk,

I agree with Vista, this marriage seems to be very disturbing and it is not in your best interests to keep pursuing it... If you do bring kids into it, it will be much more harder. From what you have told us, your wife seems to have 'borderline personality disorder' and it is very difficult to live with a person like that for the longterm. A person like that cannot be reasoned with and in relationships makes life hell for the people who love them the most. She will be hot and cold towards you throughout your life and when you have children she will use the children against you and make you feel guilty....You have only been married one year and you feeling depressed, do you really want to spend the rest of life with a person like this? SHE WILL NEVER CHANGE... you cannot change a person like that...

If I were you, I'd run and fast. If she wants a divorce, you can kiss your lucky stars!! I know you want to work it out, but you need to think twice before you try to work it out with a person that is this unreasonable.

Looking at your chart with Capricorn at your 7th house, you seemt to always fall for people who are in someway distant or not as emotional. Relationships are more restrictive, while you yourself (with Cancer ruling your 1st) you are much more family oreineted and emotional, very caring. So there may always be this difference between you and partners.

However, if I follow the Rushman's theory for marriages, it seems you will get married again and that marriage will be much more balanced and giving. Your Moon in the chart forms 3 aspects, the 1st is Uranus - that could be the wife (as you haven't had a major relatonship so far), Uranus has this unpredictable nature and the square shows some obstacles and difficult in the relationship.

Next aspect is to Jupiter, Jupiter is a wonderful planet, very beneficial and fun. In Scorpio this Jupiter will be more emotional, passionate and caring. This might be the love of your life. This is yet to happen... so hold on! The trine shows a beautiful relationship. This woman will come in your future and she may have Scorpio as her Ascendant or possibly Sagitarrius...

There is another possible relationship for you that comes in form of Neptune, but this might be later in life...again its a square, so possibly not a strong relationship...just a companionship later in life...


So from looks of it, your love life will improve, take this marriage as a lesson - entering a marriage where the person has no feelings for you may not be the best decision!...
 

rafaella

Well-known member
Hey Vista,

For men, you use only applying aspects from Moon, for women you look at applying aspects from Sun. It seems aspects to Mercury don't count...

Here is the book by Carol Rushman:

http://books.google.com.au/books?id=0OJgX88KKMsC&pg=PA35&lpg=PA35&dq=Determining+the+Number+of+Potential+Marriages&source=bl&ots=DoW_0P0EOY&sig=T-iZqUihQqi5a097xh0WizeJIc4&hl=en&ei=DoMQS5eqHs7xkAXF1MiiBw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=2&ved=0CA0Q6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q=Determining%20the%20Number%20of%20Potential%20Marriages&f=false


Many posts can be found regarding Rusman's theory, here is just one of them, this can possibly give you an insight
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=20747

I am not sure about the validity of this theory. In my case it appears to be true, although I did not marry, but had a significant longterm relationship which was descrribed by the aspect.

Let me know what you find, I am also curious about how this theory works for others...:)
 
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Vista

Well-known member
Ok, I recall now!! Yeah, I haven't married either and no applying aspect from the Sun other than an inconjunct to my Leo Mars. Not sure if this is valid. I will see if I find anything and let you know. I do now someone born on the exact day I was and she was married for 20 years, so in her case not having an applying aspect to her Sun did not matter other than as I said the inconjunct to Mars. If so, perhaps her husband was a Leo or Aries Sun or rising....

Hey Vista,

For men, you use only applying aspects from Moon, for women you look at applying aspects from Sun. It seems aspects to Mercury don't count...

Here is the book by Carol Rushman:

http://books.google.com.au/books?id=0OJgX88KKMsC&pg=PA35&lpg=PA35&dq=Determining+the+Number+of+Potential+Marriages&source=bl&ots=DoW_0P0EOY&sig=T-iZqUihQqi5a097xh0WizeJIc4&hl=en&ei=DoMQS5eqHs7xkAXF1MiiBw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=2&ved=0CA0Q6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q=Determining%20the%20Number%20of%20Potential%20Marriages&f=false


Many posts can be found regarding Rusman's theory, here is just one of them, this can possibly give you an insight
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=20747

I am not sure about the validity of this theory. In my case it appears to be true, although I did not marry, but had a significant longterm relationship which was descrribed by the aspect.

Let me know what you find, I am also curious about how this theory works for others...:)
 
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