Why do I always attract unavailable/married men?

Roseapple

Active member
Hi there! I am quite new to Astrology and would appreciate any insight on my natal chart.

Married men and men who are in relationships ALWAYS hit on me!

I also tend to attract a lot of Cancer,Scorpio and Virgo men.

It's not that I am complaining because I get along well with them but most of them are in committed relationships.

Is there something in my natal chart that is giving off a certain kind of "vibe" to these people or am I attracting the wrong kind of men?

Thank you in advance for all the replies!
 

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Gwenyhfair

Well-known member
Wild shot : sun in scorpio HS12 :38:

I have scorpio 12 hs and I only attract men that are not available in some way or another....
 

franklin taylor

Well-known member
Hello Roseapple and welcome to the Community,
Using Robert Pelletier's book Planets in Aspect... it states... plainly... that your Venus Squaring Pluto aspect can draw you to already attached persons. Among other things concerning proneness to manipulate for security in relationships, with sex, emotions, and a proneness to take when you should give and the like all stemming from the native often wanting what they don't need, and they suffer when they subject themselves to the social and emotional trauma of pursuing what they are desiring.
Sounds it may be something like... entering a codependent relationship (be you the giver or the taker in the relatioship) you may want the relationship (or be blinded to the fact that it is what it is..a codependent one) but its not good for you and you will suffer. You or anyone else will do all those things listed above in order to get what they want and or need to survive emotionally or physically even.

Looking at your chart, You have a significant inconjunct (the green lines)...planets 150 degrees apart between Saturn in the eighth and Neptune in the first, and Jupiter in the third houses (its near exact orb with Jupiter). But for it to be a real inconjunct between the three, Saturn would need to be where Jupiter is for Saturn is the Apex in this case and the apex has to be the fastest moving planet (Saturn is appearing to be moving backwards Rx) and Jupiter is of course the fastest moving of these three planets involved in your case. Also these combinations can make you prone to being "used" in some fashion. Retrograde Saturn natives have trouble saying "No" and never feel "good enough" the way it is already.
Saturn may restrain both your dreams (Neptune) and personal educative potential (third house concerns and Jupiter being there) and freedom (Jupiter and in this case third house concern )...making you learn lessons for things you neglected in this life or past lifes.

Saturn opposing your Venus can give you a stressful lovelife and often a late marriage if at all unless you stop devaluing your abilities in this area of life especially with this aspect being in on your second and eight house axis..where our self esteem is emphasized in the second house. With Venus in the second house and Saturn in the eighth house (focus on the outer world) ...you may under estimate others abilities to out maneuver you in pursuit of a relationship. You have stiffer competion than others may. Emotional frustration comes with this aspect and it often spills into your work and love life. You aren't recognized for your talents and your Venus urge may not be satisfied as quickly as you may wish. Saturn (and the 8th house outerworld) will stall it until lessons are learned. You may be prone to settling for a "secure" relationship where your Venus love nature is not fulfilled....Advice.. become more confident in your relating to men will be your help, and never confusing sex for love and the like. Lesson you may have already learned by this stage of your life. Your Venus is really a stressed planet, unfortunately, in the deeper areas of your life symbolized by the stressful aspects to brigding (Saturn) and Pluto the outermost planets. The further out the planet "the deeper the devil" LOL Yet, more profound and astounding is the recovery if one can learn to adjust to them. Venus is also on the near 0 degrees Aries Cardinal Point of Capricorn..making it an elevated concern in your life and near enough to your first house to make it an outward expression... yet Venus is stable but very reserved, controlled, and quite austere in its expression in Capricorn. You maybe appearing this way to others around you as well...not a warming thing. You may have learn to warm up some already.


Another point concerning your question about unavailable/ married men.... Neptune is in your first house and Gemini is the Lord of your seventh House and these could play together to cause some problems between what is ideal and what is actually represented in the real world by you and from others to you. Neptune being so close to the ascendant makes for great artist and musicians, but it can glamourize the appearance of both your REAL personal circumstances/personality and your PERCEIVED personal "presentation" to the outer world ...thus misrepresenting what your personal intentions are and what the intentions of others are as well. So you need to get to the "bare bones" in the honesty department and always let these people know your intention.

With Gemini as the Sign ruling your seventh house, using the Sagittarius outlay method of your chart one can see certain trends that any Sagittarius rising..(we'll use Sagittarius even though your in the last degree of Scorpio rising) can have. This person will have a bit of duality in the relationship aspects of their lives. They may find it hard to be completely content in their current situation concerning relationships. They are a type that may find greener grass in the neighboring yard. They probably have no problem with initiating relationships and they can be very fun and chatty with fun and talented people. They may be good at public relations and expect partners to live up to their standards and think similarly to them which can be a difficult thing to adjust to sometimes.
All the best

Take care
Franklin
 

Moradiva

Well-known member
Hi Roseapple

Good question bc I am single & yet it happens to me all the time! Perhaps Gwenyhfair is on to something bc I, too, have Scorpio on my 12h...hmmm...but then again all walks of life approach me even while I am minding my own business. My astrologer said I attract lost souls & if I remember correctly, it has something to do with my MC/IC degree at 29 degrees. Well whatever the reason, I'd just wish a normal guy be available for once!
 

Joseph Ledzion

Well-known member
Judging from your temperment, I would think your rising sign is Sagittarius. If you were born later in the minute, it would be Sagittarius.

I use whole sign houses, the original house system, and you either have Sun and Mercury in the first, giving you great vitality and quite fond of communication, or in the 12 if it Sagittarius rising. Sagittarius Rising would put Neptune in the 1st house, the personality, and would make you exceptionally compassionate, which you seem to be. It would also put Venus in the 1st house, and you would good looking. A beauty mark near your chin or neck area.

If Scorpio is Rising, you will be very prone to fevers and over heating. If you are Sagittarius Rising (which I think you are), you will be quite the flirty woman, and perhaps sterile??? I don't know. You do have a lot of water planets, but Mars is on fire !!

So for me, the question is your 29*40 Rising Sign.

Whole Sign Houses are by far the best for natal astrology, I have found. Give it try after checking out the link below.

Joseph Ledzion.
 
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waybread

Well-known member
Roseapple, I don't have much to add to the excellent interpretations you've received, other than to mention that whether to use a whole sign house system or a variable-width house system such as Placidus is a real hot button on this Forum and elsewhere among astrologers.

As you familiarize yourself more and more with your chart and astrology, you can decide which house system you prefer.

My one big request to Joseph and other strong advocates of one house system or another, is that it is absolutely fine if you indicate that you believe strongly in your favourite house system; not that it is a simple fact that your preference is the best. This courtesy will prevent moderators like me from jumping in an attempt to give a newcomer a sense of balance.

Roseapple, as to whether you see yourself as "quite the flirty woman and rather sterile" is also something for you to decide!

Best wishes for your astrology journey, W.
 

Catatonia

Well-known member
Yes, you should be complaining. You're avoiding commitment by dating men that are unequipped to supply you with a solid relationship based on good foundations. If someone is married, attached in any way, or in any way unavailable then they become unavailable to you. I'd say it probably has something to do with your 1st and 7th houses, respectively, Mars and Venus, both being quincunx (inconjunct) to their rulers. Scorpio is inconjunct to Mars in Aries and Venus in Sagittarius is inconjunct to Taurus. Also, your ruler is Mars in Aries RX and Mars in Aries is heavily invested in conquest and sex and freedom, so you've got to turn inside of yourself to see what's causing that reaction from you. That means you're consciously avoiding commitment by getting with these guys. Ultimately it means you're commitment-phobic. You're either part of these mens' double life and helping them hurt their partners or you're actively seeking relationships with men that have no ability to respond to your needs.

All in all, your 1st and 7th house rulers are in harmony with one another--Mars in Aries trine Venus in Sagittarius is good. So work on your commitment-phobia and your self-esteem and try to find out why you're lowering yourself to the level of being with men that are already attached knowing you're hurting yourself and hurting their partners too. (Also, shift half of that responsibility onto the married man)
 

Roseapple

Active member
First of all, I would like to say thank you very much for all the replies.

I have to admit that after reading some of the replies, it has given me much more insight and the ability to see things that I can't see for myself....

As some of the replies have subtly suggested that I could be a little bit "promiscuous" and manipulative....OUCH!! and flirty whereas I am not like that at all!
Okay, maybe the flirty part( but then again it depends on my mood of the day) but I could be totally unapproachable to most men because only a few are able to catch my eye, unfortunately they're the emotionally unavailable ones!

Another thing that caught my attention was the possibility of being a totally different rising sign and I am trying to resolve this by posting an image of myself because I would really like to find out if I am a Scorpio Rising or a Sagittarius Rising like a lot of the replies have suggested.

I'm hoping to find some answers as I am a little confused if I should be reading up on either one or both of the rising signs.

Personally, I doubt if I am a Sagittarius Rising though because I am not tall at all and of small/average Asian built.

Well, ok, maybe this is a bit far fetched but is it in any way possible for me to be physically a Scorpio Rising but having the emotional traits of a Sagittarius Rising?

But then again, I can be chatty and all open and moody and introspective and definitely intense in a matter of minutes/hours...I find myself doing this ALL the time...LOL

Still, a Sagittarius or Scorpio Rising will not make much of a difference because I will always have Venus opposing/squaring Saturn in my chart, making my love life a tumultous and a huge emotional roller coaster ride! :(

Sorry if I sound like I am all over the place but I really am interested in finding as much as I can.

Well, anyway, thank you again and have a good day everyone!:)
 

Leon

Well-known member
[deleted non-astrological joking answer that could be seen as unwantedly intimate - Moderator]
 
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4

4leafclovah

Yep, Neptune in the 1st AND ruling the 5th. I feel your pain. I have Neptune in my 5th, plus a Pisces sun,and I finally came to the realization that I must come off as totally naive-which I am not. You are always going to get those types of people coming after you because there is something sweet and innocent about you that makes men think they can pull the wool over your eyes! But being aware can surely help to fend off some of these people.
 

Gwenyhfair

Well-known member
here´s a tip for U Roseapple:
If you continue dating unavailable persons try not to think about them as unavailabe.

Think like this when you two are togeter; now they are yours, with you and no one else. Don´t try to figure out the reasons. Just live in the moment. Then when you are apart DO NOT THINK OF THE PERSON AT ALL!! Forget everything about him. I even erase them from my cell phonebook. Do not contact them. Live your own life and don´t think about why you attract unavailable persons. See them as available for a moment. Collect these moments. After all, all we have is the now, the moment. Even if you were in a long time relship with an available person you´ll never have more than moments together. Be positive.

I did many mistakes some years ago when dating someone who was unavailable. He was not married, but he was dating several women for years and there seemed to be no end to it. Until one got pregnant.
Now I realise I´m again involved with an unavailable person. But this time I won´t make the same mistakes again.

I have neppy in the first house too, opposing sun and saturn. This is just the way my life is. No therapy in the world can change it. Someones just have to live like this. No one knows if it´s forever or what will happen tomorrow.

Hope you understand. Sorry, this post was not very astrological.:eek:
 
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might be worth investigating your Yod more closely.....

Yod
This is a quincunx-sextile-quincunx. It features a crisis of - and a need for - perspective, in which the energies of the two sextiled planets find difficulty integrating with that of the apex, quincunxed planet. This dichotomy is not directly a conflict, rather a bewilderingly dualistic, seemingly irresolvable and compromising situation. This is an 'appointment with power' in which consciousness and its capacity for seeing are tested. It is a secret to be decoded, an intense dilemma, or a visitation from the Unknown. This is where intentions refuse to gel with realities: the solution is available as soon as clarity and insight dawn - there's a hidden secret underneath which needs dredging up. Allowing things to happen rather than seeking to steer them is what is called for here: yet, underneath, there is a new kind of adepthood which brings in a new form of control without holding on, if we can see it.

The yod can be accentuated when an opposition is thrown in, with two semisextile aspects too. The opposition forces the issue, and the apex planet then becomes very critical: what it represents needs to be consciously worked, owned and integrated.

Courtesy of http://cafeastrology.com/natal/planetsaspectsastrology.html

Saturn qunicunx neptune = apprehension, poss fear of unknown
Saturn qunincux Jupiter = expansion held in check for lack of confidence. When engaged in responsible work (saturn) may feel covertly dissatisfied and awnat to break free. Inability to combine form (saturn) with vision.

venus opp Saturn = unloved or uncherished from childhood, so you may always feel that you have to 'give out' twice as much love as you receive back.....plus venus is at critical degrees 29' Saggi

Plus sun in 12th is the 'house of undoing' behind closed doors, isolation and sacrifices

Moon in Pisces overidealises romance, wears rose tinted glasses and again wants to make sacrificies for love, romance, family
http://cafeastrology.com/articles/mooninsigns_pg2.html

Plus moon is square to dreamy neptune causing emotional disillusionment.

But all these aspects are spiritually your Lesson, Test or exam for which we all have these lessons, cos it would be a boring old place if we acted as clones....;)
 
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