Broken love function

Howl

Well-known member
This is the chart of a good friend of mine. We were together for a few years, a good few years ago :) You might have met his chart before in a thread about forseeing accidents - he had a dramatic one. He's still on my mind, and I am hoping you wonderful astrologers can help me see in his chart what I can't see, perhaps due to lack of objectivity.

There are two themes that I hear from him over and over.

One is that he wants to be in love. He wants to 'fall' in love, he wants to have that feeling with someone, that no holds barred head-first 'falling' experience. He is more often than not involved with people, but tends to "hang around" the periphery of these relationships. He likes these people, cares for them, even loves them, but doesn't "fall in love" with them. He questions his lack of that "falling in love" feeling, and then feels foolish for doubting the relationship because of it, and so as I see it, neither moves forward or backs off. He doesn't want to break up with them to be alone, especially since he truly does like/love/care for the people, but he doesn't feel "enough", or in the way he hoped for??

We were talking about this last night. Neither of us have "fallen in love" (I feel silly describing it that way - but do you know what I mean?) since we fell in love with eachother. While this doesn't bother me so much - I think that "falling" part of love is just one (very intense!) part of the whole array of loves that one can feel - he really misses its existence in his life. He wants to be part of one of those cute, mushy, glowing couples. Interesting!! I can't think of, or see, why he seems to want this feeling so much and yet is unable to feel it. He's starting to secretly worry that he has "broken" his ability to fall in love. Hah, that sounds terrible doesn't it? :p The thing is, I think you probably can disable your own capacity to fall in love.

Can anybody see what he is on about in his chart? I have included transits, although I can't see anything particularly relevant myself.

With a Cancer ascendant and 4H Moon, I guess he could rely on intimate partners to help him "feel" or "express" his deepest feelings. Then again, he does tend to keep his current partners more at the "companion" level, and doesn't feel comfortable letting them close enough for this. Sexual companionship on a friends kind of level of intimacy? I think this has something to do with an unaspected (or loosely aspected - by Uranus in 12H) Mars in 2H Aqua. Especially since Mars disposits the 5H :D. Does that make sense? Since we broke up, he has appeared to me to be exceptionally rational about relationships, and to analyse and "jusitfy" how and why he is in them.

What do you think? Does anything about relationships stand out in his chart?

 
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wilsontc

Staff member
love, to Howl

Howl,

When trying to see if a person focuses on relationships, I look at the 7th house and see if any planets or points are in or very near the 7th house. In your friend's case I see Cancer (home) modifying North node (future goals) near the 7th house and conjunct (energy is combined with) their Descendant (others). So this person's goal in life is to have some type of home through a relationship with another person.

In order to see the energy they put into relationships, we can look at Libra or Venus in the chart. Libra modifies Pluto (transformation, also control) at a "fate degree" (strong energy), indicating the person may have a "control or be controlled" attitude toward relationships. The challenge is to trust another person in a relationship.

Looking for Venus, we see they have Capricorn (duty, also structure, restriction) modifying Venus focused in the 1rst house (being, also action). Venus in the 1rst house can indicate someone who wants to "conquer" in relatoinships. Also, this person might feel restricted in their relationships or want to structure their relationships in a very definite way. The challenge is to trust the relationship...and the other person in the relationship.

The challenge for him is to learn to trust others...and accept that in order to fall in love with others...he has to be willing to trust others to catch him when he falls! ;)

Relating,

Tim
 

lilllybelle

Well-known member
Interesting moon placemet. Moon in 4th(needs loving intamacy) in Aries( not so skilled in the merging partenership area). Venus in the 1st adding a little more aries influence. Aries often want a relationship, but they find it hard to get or stay emotionally involved in one. Lilllybelle
 

23

Well-known member
I think the falling in love stuff has something to do with the venus semi-square Jupiter aspect in his chart. He kind of expects the show but seems to not connect with it or maybe tries to hard. Also see that Jupiter is in the 11th and venus in the 1st - so its kind of a clash between himself/his projection and his desire to be friends with the partner. He also has an anarectic jupiter in Sco - so its intense being in sco and strong energy too.

And as Tim says the anarectic pluto would have effect here too.

I think you are right also, the ruler of the 5th house cusp for him is Aries and its ruler is in Aqu, which kind of gives him a "I like you but not that much, or don't get too close" type of a feel to him. It is also semi-squ neptune too, which probably adds some sort of frustration in the "dream" of falling in love. Also chiron in the 5th might mean he has been hurt in love maybe at onetime or is healing in this area.
 

Howl

Well-known member
wow, that was some quick answering :) Thanks guys! Here is what I think:
I see Cancer (home) modifying North node (future goals) near the 7th house and conjunct (energy is combined with) their Descendant (others). So this person's goal in life is to have some type of home through a relationship with another person.
Tim - this may be even more acurate than you suspected. I have no guarantee that the birth time is accurate, and 20 minutes earlier would put north node dead conjunt the descendant, without moving the house position of any planets. Something to think about :)

Libra modifies Pluto (transformation, also control) at a "fate degree" (strong energy), indicating the person may have a "control or be controlled" attitude toward relationships. The challenge is to trust another person in a relationship.
Yes, but don't a whole generation of people have that one? I do. It isn't in a relationship house, and it doesn't touch Venus, so I wonder how particularly relevant it can be to him for relationships?

The challenge for him is to learn to trust others...and accept that in order to fall in love with others...he has to be willing to trust others to catch him when he falls! ;)
Indeed! Nice observation. Well, they appear very willing to catch him, they're usually *waiting* for him to fall :p so I guess it's more of a question of WHO he wants to be caught by. Being in Capricorn, his venus is quite cautious and analytical, after all.

Interesting moon placemet. Moon in 4th(needs loving intamacy) in Aries( not so skilled in the merging partenership area)
Hahah, this made me laugh :p He is rather an independent one. This caused issues with his most recent (cancerian) girlfriend, who wanted something 'more' from him that just wasn't there for him to give. I think that moon also relates to the fact that he wants 'fun' in relationships; if the person cramps his style of fun, or won't play, it doesn't go well.

23, I don't tend to look at semisquares. He has a few of them, so they may prove more significant that usual! Thanks for the pointers. What does anarectic mean?!? As for "I like you but not that much" - that's exactly how he is being with people now. He kindof gets more attached to them the longer they are around, but only hesitatingly. BUT I know he isn't always like that, because it isn't what he was like with me at all. Hmmm.How silly of me not to notice Chiron in the 5H. Ending relationships with lovers is almost the only thing that I have ever seen hurt him, besides his parents splitting up (when he was an adult). I have a feeling that I partially belong to that Chiron in the fifth house, too :eek: (oops).

I guess he wonders, and I wonder, when he will be able to change the dynamics he is in now. I know he can, because I have seen it before.
.
 
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Howl

Well-known member
Thanks! I found some critical degrees of my own ;). Actually his Pluto is at the anarectic degree in Libra, and mine is at the critical degree in Libra. Interesting times!
.
 
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wilsontc

Staff member
Libra modifying Pluto

Howl,

You asked:
"Libra modifies Pluto"...don't a whole generation of people have that one? I do. It isn't in a relationship house, and it doesn't touch Venus, so I wonder how particularly relevant it can be to him for relationships?

Even though this energy affects "generations" it still exists individually for each person. This suggests that all those who are "Libra modifying Pluto" generation have some sort of control issues in their relationships. Whether or not this becomes a relationship issue has to do with how well they have learned to share control in the relationship.

Generationally,

Tim
 
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