Nursery rhymes

[I cee]

ARIES. Jack and Jill sprinted up the hill, and when Jill got there first...Jack pushed Jill out of the way to get the pail of water.

TAURUS. Jack went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, while Jill waited below drinking some wine and smelling the roses.

GEMINI. Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, on the way down Jill tripped Jack which is why he broke his crown and Jill ran off with the water.

CANCER....??? (anyone??)

LEO. Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack couldn't stop gazing at his reflection in the water, and Jill got bored and broke Jacks crown!

VIRGO. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the kings horses and all the kings men did put Humpty Dumpty together again.

LIBRA. Jack and Jill were supposed to go up the hill.....
But ....who should go and who should carry the pail of water??

SCORPIO. .???? (anyone??)

SAGITTARIUS??

CAPRICORN. Baahh Baahh Black sheep! Have you any wool?
Yes sir, Yes sir.....That'll be 1x Bag at £112 for the Master, 1x Bag at $225 for the Dame......and if there's any left? One for the little boy who lives down the lane.

AQUARIUS. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men gathered all the towns folks to a meeting to discuss how to put Humpty Dumpty together again.

PISCES. Jack and Jill got drunk on the hill.........and forgot about the pail of water!

[Anachiel]

SCORPIO - Ring around the rosy, a pocketful of posies, 'ashes, ashes', we all fall down (LOL)

or

Pussycat, Pussycat, where have you been? I've been to London to visit the Queen. Pussycat, pussycat what did you there? I frightened a mouse under her chair.

SAG - Horsey, horsey don't you stop. Just let your feet go clippetty clop. The tail goes swish and the wheels go round. Giddy up, we're homeward bound.

[Gaqua77]

CANCER - Peter Peter Pumkin Eater, had a wife but could not keep her.....
He put her in a pumpkin shell

[aquarius7000]

Originally Posted by Anachiel

SAG - Horsey, horsey don't you stop. Just let your feet go clippetty clop. The tail goes swish and the wheels go round. Giddy up, we're homeward bound.

or maybe
SAG - Horsey, horsey don't you stop. Just let your feet go clippetty clop. The tail goes swish and the wheels go round. Giddy up, we're overseas bound.

ARIES: Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of hot water. Jack got a rash, so Jill did a sprint and a dash, running as fast as she could to call a doctor.

TAURUS: Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Instead they saw there some land to be sold, so traded for the real estate their stocks and shares, and lived in luxury thereafter.

CANCER: Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Instead they built a cosy home on the hill, and had many kids thereafter.

VIRGO. Jack and Jill went up the hill fetch a pail of water. Jack criticised Jill asking her to sterilise the pail before filling up the water.

GEMINI: Jack and Jill drove up the hill to fetch their neighbour a pail of water. Chatterbox Jill couldn't stop chatting until, Jack remembered he had to pay their bills, so Jill came muttering after

LEO: Lord Jack and his Jill sent their servants up the hill, to fetch them a pail of water. While Jack sat down on the settee admiring his royal crown, Jill basked in the sun planning their feast and the dessert thereafter.

Virgo: Jack and Virgin Jill exercised up the hill to fetch some clean water. They were on a diet, seeing insects on the pond they got a bit of fright. And as they ran down, Jack broke his head not just his crown, so Jill had to nurse him for days and studied medicine thereafter

LIBRA. Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. On the hill Jack proposed to Jill, they said their wedding vows and lived happily ever after.

SCORPIO. Jack and Jill went down the hill, in a guise to fetch a pail of water. The mafia were after them, so they went underground and traded opium with their gang leader.

SAGITTARIUS Jack and Jill went up the hill chasing an aircraft higher and higher. Jack missed the uni and Jill a church sermon, so they cancelled their travels for that summer.

CAPRICORN. Jack and Jill laboured up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack trespassed and was taken to task, and it became a legal matter.

AQUARIUS. Jack and Jill went up a virtual hill to fetch a pail of water. But then the computer broke down, no power in the town, so they rebelled saying the government's a cheater.

PISCES. (2 days ago) Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. They daydreamed they were crowned king and queen. And when they woke up, it was the dayafter.

AQ7

[blackheart]

I don't know if this joke has already been posted or not, but it's one of my favorites....


A cat died and went to heaven, God met her at the gates and said,
"You have been a good cat all those years, anything you want is yours for the asking."
The cat thought for a minute then said
"All my life I have lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors, i would like a fluffy pillow to sleep on!"
God said "Say no more".
Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow. A few days later six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer he had made the cat. The mice said
"Well we have had to run all our lives from cats, dogs and even people with brooms! if we could just have some little roller skates we would not have to run again".
God Answered "It is done".
All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.
About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her asleep on her fluffy pillow.
God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is everything alright? How have you been doing? Are you happy?"
The cat replied "Oh it's WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in all my life. The pillow is fluffy, and those little meals on wheels you have been sending are delicious!!"

[irishcuban]

Originally Posted by I cee

ARIES. Jack and Jill sprinted up the hill, and when Jill got there first...Jack pushed Jill out of the way to get the pail of water.

TAURUS. Jack went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, while Jill waited below drinking some wine and smelling the roses.

GEMINI. Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, on the way down Jill tripped Jack which is why he broke his crown and Jill ran off with the water.

CANCER....??? (anyone??)

LEO. Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack couldn't stop gazing at his reflection in the water, and Jill got bored and broke Jacks crown!

VIRGO. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the kings horses and all the kings men did put Humpty Dumpty together again.

LIBRA. Jack and Jill were supposed to go up the hill.....
But ....who should go and who should carry the pail of water??

SCORPIO. .???? (anyone??)

SAGITTARIUS??

CAPRICORN. Baahh Baahh Black sheep! Have you any wool?
Yes sir, Yes sir.....That'll be 1x Bag at £112 for the Master, 1x Bag at $225 for the Dame......and if there's any left? One for the little boy who lives down the lane.

AQUARIUS. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men gathered all the towns folks to a meeting to discuss how to put Humpty Dumpty together again.

PISCES. Jack and Jill got drunk on the hill.........and forgot about the pail of water!

yeah for scorpio use the old andrew dice clay joke

jack n jill went up the hill
each with a buck and a quarter
jill came down with 2.50
that dirty *****

or

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to have a little fun.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
and now they have a son.

[Claire19]

Cancer - Jackie and Jillie, little children, went up the hill to fetch a pail of water for their mommy to make cookies with......

Sagittarius - Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, they stood instead looking at distant horizons and decided to go for a ramble.

Capricorn - Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack said, "Jill, you carry it down as I am older and the boss."

Scorpio - Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, after having a session behind the bushes, they filled the pail and came down again.

Aries - Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack raced Jill and came first,
going red in the face she then pushed him over and he went headfirst down the hill.


Taurus - Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, stopping to smell the fresh grass along the way, they set up a stall on the roadside to sell the water to passers by.

Gemini - Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, being twins, they made it to the top together with Ipods plugged in, they took in the fresh air, before coming back down to the school canteen.

Leo - Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, they danced and frolicked around in the sun, pretending to be a prince and princess, make a flower crown for each other and then came on down.

Virgo - Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, carefully brushing insects and bugs from their neat uniforms, they picked herbs for dinner at their organic cafe.

Libra - Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water as husband and wife, they balanced the pail of water between them in perfect harmony.

Aquarius - Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water and soon spotted the mobile phone t.v. and radio receptor tower soaring into the skies, they came on down with the water for their club meeting.

Pisces - Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, for their charity tea and coffee
morning.

[Claire19]

Originally Posted by Gaqua77

CANCER - Peter Peter Pumkin Eater, had a wife but could not keep her.....
He put her in a pumpkin shell

and there he kept her very well. lol!