Venus Virgo / sag Mars man

B

Bluebell87

Banned
sibylline said:
You should try to get his birth time then we'll have the full story. Until then, we have to take him on his word -- he wants a casual relationship. Don't expect more.

I used to talk to a guy with 8th house Aries Sun and Venus. Aries is a tough fit for the 8th house.

If I didn't have friends in the UK I would have no idea what M&S was.
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Yeah, you're right, I shouldn't expect more. But then he keeps talking to me when he knows what I want, and says he won't meet up with me til he knows he can give me what I want. And I won't meet up with him, whilst he's sticking to what he wants. Yet we keep talking...

Oh, so you must like a bit of drama and/or excitement yourself! It probably is a tough fit, as Aries and Scorpio are very different, but I do like the insights it gives me. Otherwise I'm full of Aries and sag gullibility, and hot air and Neptune delusions. What you said about having a lot in my chart certainly hit home.

I assumed you were in the uk because of a comment I read from you a while back, can't remember now what it was tho but it made me assume.
 
sibylline

sibylline

Well-known member
Not from the UK but I might have absorbed something from the UK people in my life. I don't like drama at all, which is why we never formed a relationship.

What's up with this guy as of late?
 
B

Bluebell87

Banned
sibylline said:
Not from the UK but I might have absorbed something from the UK people in my life. I don't like drama at all, which is why we never formed a relationship.

What's up with this guy as of late?
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Well we've still been talking everyday, and getting on. But he mentions he's been shopping in my town and I said it was rude he didn't pop round and I'm getting fed up again of how long he's just wanting to speak on whatsapp.

His dad is ill so that explains his distance, but he's been single 3 years and told me he always says to girls never to expect a rship at the end of the rainbow.

I get the feeling something will happen with us in the future. But he's just got this impression of me from the first time he met me that he's either using as an excuse or not letting go off. I defo get the feeling might have feelings for me though...I've asked a horary to find out and see but I'm still not going to expect anything!
 
K

katydid

Well-known member
Bluebell87 said:
Well we've still been talking everyday, and getting on. But he mentions he's been shopping in my town and I said it was rude he didn't pop round and I'm getting fed up again of how long he's just wanting to speak on whatsapp.

His dad is ill so that explains his distance, but he's been single 3 years and told me he always says to girls never to expect a rship at the end of the rainbow.

I get the feeling something will happen with us in the future. But he's just got this impression of me from the first time he met me that he's either using as an excuse or not letting go off. I defo get the feeling might have feelings for me though...I've asked a horary to find out and see but I'm still not going to expect anything!
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But even if he does 'have feelings' for you---then what? His rough mutable squares mangle his ability to deal with emotional feelings in a healthy, stable way.

I worry about that because you say that you were left needy and wanting by your father as a child. I hate to see you setting this up as a rough emotional pattern, where you try and try to squeeze love out of a turnip. :pouty:
 
conspiracy theorist

conspiracy theorist

Well-known member
Bluebell87 said:
I think he did better than illmac! Lost of people in the comments are saying the same too. I hadn't heard of him before seeing that but just going on my preference.
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Illmaculate is well known and well respected in the battle rap scene. IIRC he has Aqua Sun and Sag moon. But your m8 was pretty good in the battle actually, his lines hit harder than ill's.
 
B

Bluebell87

Banned
katydid said:
But even if he does 'have feelings' for you---then what? His rough mutable squares mangle his ability to deal with emotional feelings in a healthy, stable way.

I worry about that because you say that you were left needy and wanting by your father as a child. I hate to see you setting this up as a rough emotional pattern, where you try and try to squeeze love out of a turnip. :pouty:
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Well I've asked him the similar things, trying to get my point across every few days and he respects my Aries sun sag moon directness. I just say that since we've been talking for a few weeks maybe we could meet up as friends, but he still said no and so I've got the huff and am going to stop thinking about him as much. I do have the feeling that I'm really drawn to him and the feeling is mutual. His dad is ill, I think he's terminal as he said he has 'personal tragedy just around the corner.' He says I should have the patience to wait for things to happen 'organically' and not demand every few days. But I get frustrated because the waiting around makes me feel reeeeallly insecure. Like that little girl with daddy girls insecure. But a good nights sleep and I have a clear head again.
 
sibylline

sibylline

Well-known member
Bluebell87 said:
Well we've still been talking everyday, and getting on. But he mentions he's been shopping in my town and I said it was rude he didn't pop round and I'm getting fed up again of how long he's just wanting to speak on whatsapp.

His dad is ill so that explains his distance, but he's been single 3 years and told me he always says to girls never to expect a rship at the end of the rainbow.

I get the feeling something will happen with us in the future. But he's just got this impression of me from the first time he met me that he's either using as an excuse or not letting go off. I defo get the feeling might have feelings for me though...I've asked a horary to find out and see but I'm still not going to expect anything!
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I have to agree with Katy. He may have feelings for you but he's saying he doesn't want a relationship and behaving like he doesn't want a relationship. You should believe he's not going to eventually realize he wants one, especially given your past with him and his relationship past as a whole.

And @ your OP... "handsome"? Lol. :D
 
B

Bluebell87

Banned
sibylline said:
I have to agree with Katy. He may have feelings for you but he's saying he doesn't want a relationship and behaving like he doesn't want a relationship. You should believe he's not going to eventually realize he wants one, especially given your past with him and his relationship past.
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He's been single for three years though, so he's capable of one. But yes, it is ambiguous. We might be a match made in heaven though, or this is the start of a lot of years and will we won't we, and we finally do when we are older...who knows.

Haha and yeah, his confidence makes him 10 x's more handsome. He's extremely bright too. But those insomnia eyes make me want to just look after him lol
 
sibylline

sibylline

Well-known member
Bluebell87 said:
Well I've asked him the similar things, trying to get my point across every few days and he respects my Aries sun sag moon directness. I just say that since we've been talking for a few weeks maybe we could meet up as friends, but he still said no and so I've got the huff and am going to stop thinking about him as much. I do have the feeling that I'm really drawn to him and the feeling is mutual. His dad is ill, I think he's terminal as he said he has 'personal tragedy just around the corner.' He says I should have the patience to wait for things to happen 'organically' and not demand every few days. But I get frustrated because the waiting around makes me feel reeeeallly insecure. Like that little girl with daddy girls insecure. But a good nights sleep and I have a clear head again.
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3 years is not a short amount of time...All of the above sounds like a classic noncommittal mindset or what is known as avoidant attachment in psychology. There is always a reason why now is not a good time to start a relationship. They make the other person feel unreasonable for expecting a commitment from them even after seeing each other for months or even years. They tend to believe things should happen "naturally" but the problem with this is that they are subconsciously or even consciously working against anything ever happening.
 
B

Bluebell87

Banned
sibylline said:
3 years is not a short amount of time...All of the above sounds like a classic noncommittal mindset or what is known as avoidant attachment in psychology. There is always a reason why now is not a good time to start a relationship. They make the other person feel unreasonable for expecting a commitment from them even after seeing each other for months or even years. They tend to believe things should happen "naturally" but the problem with this is that they are subconsciously or even consciously working against anything ever happening.
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Well I've been single myself for like 3 nearly 3 1/2 years now...I like to spend a lot of time myself these past few years, and he's described the same estrangement from life/people. You can see it in the clothes he wears. We have good conversations though and I'm going to just try see him as a friend only from now on, and go on a date with a previous guy I know (who is his own issues!) but I do honestly like this guy a whole lot. Maybe he just needs to take things slow.
 
craft94

craft94

Well-known member
Everyone has issues! I don't want to say anything too optimistic because it isn't healthy to hope for something that isn't going to happen but I wouldn't tell someone not to date someone because of their astrology chart! I feel like there's a strong bias against men who are mostlu made of air and fire becuase it's assumed they won't commit (not true) and I get it, I want commitment too but a guy whose all earth and water isn't even one I would likely click with on a friendship level and they probably wouldn't be able to handle ME! So...

I say do what you want, follow you heart, but be careful and don't expect to change him - if he changes, it will have to be on his own accord - and I would say the same for any guy! Not just one with mutable squares!
 
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B

Bluebell87

Banned
craft94 said:
Everyone has issues! I don't want to say anything too optimistic because it isn't healthy to hope for something that isn't going to happen but I wouldn't tell someone not to date someone because of their astrology chart! I feel like there's a strong bias against men who are mostlu made of air and fire becuase it's assumed they won't commit (not true) and I get it, I want commitment too but a guy whose all earth and water isn't even one I would likely click with on a friendship level and they probably wouldn't be able to handle ME! So...

I say do what you want, follow you heart, but be careful and don't expect to change him - if he changes, it will have to be on his own accord - and I would say the same for any guy! Not just one with mutable squares!
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Yeah, everyone does have issues, and some people just don't have the same needs or wants as other people. He has a good heart so I think he will find the right girl at some point in his life. But with family illness, the stress will definetely be blocking him.

I'm going to just take him as a friend, and enjoy the conversations, and concentrate elsewhere. Some things just take time - look at Prince Charles and Camilla...it took them years, but they are as solid as a rock now.
 
craft94

craft94

Well-known member
Bluebell87 said:
Yeah, everyone does have issues, and some people just don't have the same needs or wants as other people. He has a good heart so I think he will find the right girl at some point in his life. But with family illness, the stress will definetely be blocking him.

I'm going to just take him as a friend, and enjoy the conversations, and concentrate elsewhere. Some things just take time - look at Prince Charles and Camilla...it took them years, but they are as solid as a rock now.
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I think both of us need to not put all our eggs in one basket, so to speak
 
sibylline

sibylline

Well-known member
craft94 said:
Everyone has issues! I don't want to say anything too optimistic because it isn't healthy to hope for something that isn't going to happen but I wouldn't tell someone not to date someone because of their astrology chart! I feel like there's a strong bias against men who are mostlu made of air and fire becuase it's assumed they won't commit (not true) and I get it, I want commitment too but a guy whose all earth and water isn't even one I would likely click with on a friendship level and they probably wouldn't be able to handle ME!
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His being fire and earth dominant (because he really only has one planet in air, discounting Pluto because it stays in the same sign for over a decade) is so far from the point. I didn't even realize the elements of his charts until this was mentioned. You're also creating a false dichotomy here -- fire/air vs earth/water -- as if those are the only two elemental dominants a person can have, or there even needs to be an element which is predominant.

I don't think anyone here even mentioned the elements his planets were in. I re-read the posts to make sure, and nope. Of course fire/air men are capable of commitment. My bf's brother is Gemini Sun and Mercury with Leo stellium and he's attached at the hip to his gf. Even more attached than my bf is, and he's got the three water signs in Sun, Moon, Ascendant, with Capricorn Mars traditionally ruling the Asc. I think we all know men with fire and air dominant who are happily committed.

Back to the point -- his mindset and behavior is the problem. The chart gives us the basis and specifics of his issues, but the man has said he doesn't want to be in a relationship not just to Bluebell but to other women he has been involved with and clearly shows commitment aversion. No astrological knowledge is necessary to see that. I'm glad she is going to move on...hopefully she will move on.
 
B

Bluebell87

Banned
sibylline said:
His being fire and earth dominant (because he really only has one planet in air, discounting Pluto because it stays in the same sign for over a decade) is so far from the point. I didn't even realize the elements of his charts until this was mentioned. You're also creating a false dichotomy here -- fire/air vs earth/water -- as if those are the only two elemental dominants a person can have, or there even needs to be an element which is predominant.

I don't think anyone here even mentioned the elements his planets were in. I re-read the posts to make sure, and nope. Of course fire/air men are capable of commitment. My bf's brother is Gemini Sun and Mercury with Leo stellium and he's attached at the hip to his gf. Even more attached than my bf is, and he's got the three water signs in Sun, Moon, Ascendant, with Capricorn Mars traditionally ruling the Asc. I think we all know men with fire and air dominant who are happily committed.

Back to the point -- his mindset and behavior is the problem. The chart gives us the basis and specifics of his issues, but the man has said he doesn't want to be in a relationship not just to Bluebell but to other women he has been involved with and clearly shows commitment aversion. No astrological knowledge is necessary to see that. I'm glad she is going to move on...hopefully she will move on.
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Aye, I'll move on. At least he forgave me for previous behaviours, even if simulatenously using it as an excuse. Bleh. Will take a while to find someone THIS exciting. I know I sound a little pathetic right now, it's just he said he really finds me attractive and talks to me everyday, it's confused me.
 
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sibylline

sibylline

Well-known member
Bluebell87 said:
Aye, I'll move on. At least he forgave me for previous behaviours, even if simulatenously using it as an excuse. Bleh. Will take a while to find someone THIS exciting.
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Oh, he forgave you did he? Lololol. You don't need to be forgiven because you didn't do anything wrong, unless there is something you're not sharing.

What is "exciting" to you?

Bluebell87 said:
I know I sound a little pathetic right now, it's just he said he really finds me attractive and talks to me everyday, it's confused me.
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From your posts it seems like he enjoys the closeness and companionship that comes with a relationship (when he wants it) without actually having to commit.
 
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