My natal chart observation journal

I've wanted to do this for a while, to share my natal chart and create a threaded, blog-like posts of my own observation, while allowing others to comment and add on their thoughts. Sort of a monologue of my own chart interpretation while other people chip in if they wish to.

This will be my personal diary of sorts, so updates will be ongoing as long as this forum lives. My interests are mostly on natal aspects and configurations, with observations on synastry and transits splashed in from time to time.

English is my second language, so please bear with the grammar errors.
Also, many of my observations may not have any references and mostly based on memory. I'll edit my posts once I find where my references come from (this is why I need this journal so badly!)

My natal chart is attached. Feel free to comment on my observation, and please don't hijack this thread. Instead, if you'd like to discuss your own natal chart, feel free to link to your own natal chart discussion.

EDIT: To add clarity to the purpose of this thread: I plan to post on this thread over the long-term. This serves as my astrology-focused analysis-observation, with some personal life story strewn in for context. I prefer putting this in a forum like Astro Weekly as it's highly likely that readers would be more participatory, instead of just lurking/reading like what blogs often experience. Don't be surprised if most of the replies in here are mine :)

Cheers.
 

Attachments

  • astro_w2gw_anonymous.43146.13491.png
    astro_w2gw_anonymous.43146.13491.png
    117.4 KB · Views: 51
Last edited:
On assertiveness and taking action

I find my Pisces Mars to be most annoying. For the longest time I felt that I "hated" my Mars for how un-assertive it sounded, more so because I see a bit of that description in myself. The scattered and fluctuation energies happens very often. Procrastination IS REAL. Every day is a battle between my will and my ambitions (Mars/Aries Jupiter semisextile, Mars/Sagittarius Neptune square). I sometimes go into a dreamy, trance-like state that could break my flow, caused by multitude of ideas and possibilities that pop in my head, and my love for doing new things (Mars/Scorpio Uranus trine). First thing I tell myself in the morning is, "Complete one task today, or you'll regret it forever like you always have."

I absolutely cannot relate to the romance/relationship part of being attracted to a Pisces anything (I rely more on my Sagittarius DC / Jupiter in 10th for the person I find attractive -- later post). I can't stand needy people. The closest I came to being involved romantically to a water sign was a Cancer, and even that was because he had a lot of fire signs in his chart (a fact I found out only later after I broke up with him). He was one possessive bloke. I sometimes feel like punching my Pisces Sun little brother for not having enough drive to achieve anything in life, but in reality I just let him be, and remind him that he is own worst enemy and his greatest saviour. I relate to him in a way, because I have the same issue with self will. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

Smoking, drinking, drugs? I tried chain-smoking and stopped after two weeks because why was I doing it in the first place, I didn't know. I understand nicotine addiction because of it, though. I drink socially, but not often due to hanging around with non-drinking, non-partying crowds (yes, boring but work and networking and all). Drugs? I might want to try marijuana or shrooms if I get the chance. I'll try anything once, except hard-core drugs.

I try to embrace my watery elements. I do so, begrudgingly. I have strong water elements due to my Libra Moon/Pluto conjunct in 4th house and Cancer Saturn in the 1st house. Still, the Libra influence and Gemini AS isn't helping much in the emotions department, seeing how much I prefer detachment more than anything. But that is for another post.

I will acknowledge one good thing about my Mars in the 9th house -- I'm definitely focused on working towards a greater good. I do community service (MC in Pisces) and organise events in an ecosystem that badly needs the inclusion of women and youth. I've been doing this for several years now, and I soar and shine. Never have giving felt more fulfilling.

Back to my source of annoyance. I've never really looked at or considered asteroid aspects that much, because there's already so much I need to understand about the major planets. So, when I read somewhere about how Mars-Black Moon Lilith conjunct can cause annoyance, I laughed! I was so relieved! No wonder I had a hard time reconciling Pisces Mars.

I'm learning and still trying to embrace my Pisces Mars. At least I can now smile and be kinder with my Mars, while still be a better wholesome me.
 
Last edited:
On control and determination/avoidance

I'm rather fond of my 1st house Saturn placement. Despite squaring my Libra Moon/Pluto conjunct in 4th house, I feel the aspect complements my emotions very well, and helps me cope with the flightiness and indecisiveness caused by my Gemini AS and Pisces Mars. Together with my 10th house Aries Jupiter square aspect, my Saturn creates the focal to my cardinal T-square. I'm still trying to figure out how this configuration plays out in my life right now.

Speaking of Saturn and 1st house, it's amusing how close the description is to my looks and personality. My Saturn is in retrograde and out of sign, so my Gemini AS slim stature, energetic, bright active eyes and quick to boredom is more obvious. My Gemini Venus in 12th house conjuncts my AS by sign, and there's my Libra Moon so you can see the charm (and dimples) at times. Some still say I'm intimidating at first impression (hello again, 1st house Saturn). I don't mind that at all; it acts a protective mechanism to filter out people who sincerely want to connect with me vs those with ulterior motives.
Yet, I'm also very subdued, blunt and controlled in my expressions. Very responsible and obedient as a child, I have what people call the death stare when I don't smile, and I don't like talking too much, either. For me, action trumps words. I have an empty Leo in 3rd house, and I'm always told that when I speak, I have a certain charisma that makes people feel that they want to rally behind me or join me in my cause, or at least feel the determination in my words. I'm also proud to say that the ageless thing about Saturn in 1st house applies to me :)

I've been described as an excellent planner (Saturn/Taurus Mercury sextile). I like envisioning my dreams and strategise. Good planning skills have helped me in my work, and in organising events and activities I'm passionate about with little help from others -- I seem to just "get it" very easily when learning new things. Not because I have high IQ or anything, but my strong power of focus allows me to absorb info and ideas fast (that is, until Mars/Neptune gets dreamy again). I believe success comes with hard work, and that has proven itself many times and many ways. I have no issue working on things over a long period of time, because I will definitely achieve it with consistency.

Emotional avoidance is both a blessing and a bane. I can't handle intensity, as I'm already intense myself. If you read all the Moon/Saturn square description, then you know what I'm talking about. I hate that I have the propensity to be needy (Moon/Pluto conjunct on top of this doesn't help, either), so very early on my childhood I was determined to be self-sufficient; I lost my father while I was a teen (Pluto in 4th). His death was a blessing in disguise; it gave me independence to experience life outside of my household. I went to a boarding school, which wasn't quite freeing but still I'm responsible for my own choices, and helped me develop emotionally. I appreciate genuine connections with people (Venus/Saturn semisextile).
 
Last edited:

kshantaram

Premium Member
some observations, do share-discuss pointwise feedbacks,
how true-untrue-insightful-prospective etc
traits, talents, health, events etc etc


rahu north node sag 6th, hyper-impulsive dealing with opponents;
pars fortuna over 6th prone to losses/theft-defeat etc

venus-ketu south node gemini 12th, hyper-analytical,
seeking comforts in foreign lands, possessive spouse,
pain-injury-surgery chest-lungs-feet-kidneys etc.
venus own 12th house, success amidst adversity;

ketu past 1.5yr transit mars-pisces 9th, tending to distant lands,
pain-injury-surgery thighs-feet etc, detachment from father;
ketu now transit acq 9th for distant lands, lower legs-sciatica etc;

rahu now transit leo 3rd good for initiative-progress,
but prone to excessive risk taking;


sag-jup 7th malefic for gemini asc,
stress-delays in marriage-vocation;
inimical jup over aries 10th, supportive but dominating,
jup 10th conceptual leadership and advisory roles, though impulsive;
jup trine aspect own sag 7th protective of marriage-business;

sat aspect own cap 7th protective of business,
but may not be good for health of spouse;

sat past 2.5yrs transit inimical sag, stress-delays
in health-employment matters and relationship-business,
and prone to abdominal-intestinal health issues etc;
sat-venus opp craving for affection but not manifesting;

sat sag aspect own acq 9th protective of luck-edu-travels,
but not good for health of father;

sat some 3m from now moves to own cap 7th,
growth-riches through public administration, mass supervision;
sat cap aspect moon-libra 4th supportive of property matters etc;


sun-mer taurus 12th, creative, energetic, stubborn,
love of food-comforts,literary-oratory abilities,
aptitude for hotel management-banking,
gains from govt, corporates, social elite;


inimical jup past year transit moon-libra 4th,
emotional stress-delays in domestic comforts-property-mother,
heart-lungs-kidney issues;
moon libra wavery decision making,
prone to stormy anger when provoked;

inimical jup now transit scorpio 5th, research-occult aptitudes;
stress-delays in luck-edu-romance-children-position;
health issues heart-stomach-urological etc;

jup scorpio trine mars pisces 9th supportive of luck-edu-travels;
and trine sat-cancer 2nd supportive of earnings in distant lands;
jup scorpio aspect own sun-mer taurus 11th for gains-friendships;

mars lord 5th/11th over 9th tech aptitudes/submarines-waterworks etc,
and spirituality through service of mankind;

acq-sat 9th settling life at 36+

gemini asc, analytical, curious, clever, music, humor, business analyst,
good at information processing, not good at decision making-confused;

sat cancer 2nd, sensitive, earnings in distant lands;
sat lord 9th for distant travels moreover;
sat cancer highest deg, the core personality;
technical aptitudes, water works, etc etc

venus gemini 2nd highest deg, factor for vocation;
instrumental music, garment stitching, information technology etc;


may pick and adapt and integrate as relevant, wishing well,
hope find helpful and useful enough, finding yourself,


kshantaram
 
Last edited:
some observations, do share-discuss pointwise feedbacks,
how true-untrue-insightful-prospective etc
traits, talents, health, events etc etc

I appreciate your detailed observations. My feedback follows.

rahu north node sag 6th, hyper-impulsive dealing with opponents;
pars fortuna over 6th prone to losses/theft-defeat etc
I prefer making quick decisions over overthinking (the latter is an issue from time to time). Over the past several years, I've come to rely and trust my gut feelings and these instinct rarely fails me. So I suppose that tendency has bled over to my close partnerships. I'm not afraid to call on other people's **** if diplomacy doesn't work.
I'm still not familiar with Pars Fortuna, but in terms of losses, I've experienced that while I was still in my marriage via my ex-spouse's gambling and debt habits, despite how much money we both made. Once I left my marriage, I'm more financially stable and was able to live debt free.

venus-ketu south node gemini 12th, hyper-analytical,
seeking comforts in foreign lands, possessive spouse,
pain-injury-surgery chest-lungs-feet-kidneys etc.
venus own 12th house, success amidst adversity;
Analytical, yes. Logic applies better to me, but I do my best to empathise. Overthinking... sometimes as mentioned above, as I prefer looking at all possibilities before deciding on an action.
I travel extensively in the past 5 years compared to my whole life. It's true that travelling brings me growth and comfort. I make it a point to travel as much as possible and meet other people from foreign lands.
My Sag Sun/Cap Moon ex-spouse never show any possessiveness, as we both gave each other a lot of space to do and go as we please. My last serious relationship to a Cancer Sun/Sag Moon, though, was. Our relationship barely lasted a year.
Fortunately I have no need for surgery. I had a gallstone problem years ago, and the doctor recommended that I remove my gallbladder to avoid further discomfort. It's now fixed thanks to natural remedies and good diet.
I sprained both my ankles and they have been an on-off issue. I go to a Chinese chiropractor once every year or two to get them re-aligned.

ketu past 1.5yr transit mars-pisces 9th, tending to distant lands,
pain-injury-surgery thighs-feet etc, detachment from father;
ketu now transit acq 9th for distant lands, lower legs-sciatica etc;
Aries Sun/Scorpio Moon father passed away when I was young. Travelling -- see my feedbacks above. No health issue apart from my ankles as mentioned.

rahu now transit leo 3rd good for initiative-progress,
but prone to excessive risk taking;
I'm contemplating a few business ventures, and they're all in the planning stage. I always play it safe when it comes to financial and business deals, and my gut tells me to take things slow and carefully. But I have trust in my few partners that can direct me to the right path, and I feel very positive about my plans.

sag-jup 7th malefic for gemini asc,
stress-delays in marriage-vocation;
inimical jup over aries 10th, supportive but dominating,
jup 10th conceptual leadership and advisory roles, though impulsive;
jup trine aspect own sag 7th protective of marriage-business;
I have no plans for marriage, hopefully none in this lifetime. Jup 10th impulsive leadership, yes. Do is always better, is my mantra. I'm in many advisory roles for my industry, but I detach myself as much as I can especially if I don't have direct influence on their achievements or decision-making.
I'm unsure about marriage-business protectiveness -- could you elaborate?

sat aspect own cap 7th protective of business,
but may not be good for health of spouse;
Could you elaborate on "protective of business" as in how and what sense? The latter is not relevant.

sat past 2.5yrs transit inimical sag, stress-delays
in health-employment matters and relationship-business,
and prone to abdominal-intestinal health issues etc;
sat-venus opp craving for affection but not manifesting;
Delays in employments/business is mostly due to my own choice; I tend to stay away from typical work-hours and office hours. I run my own business and freelance, so I have control over my own time and jobs I take in
Intestinal health has been fantastic -- I'm healthier these past 4 years than I have been the previous 15. I was slightly obese, but now I'm at my ideal weight.
Craving for affection, well, who isn't? At this stage of my life, though, romance is not my priority, and I'm content with casual, superficial connections and acquaintances. I prefer to focus my affections on my wonderful children.

sat sag aspect own acq 9th protective of luck-edu-travels,
but not good for health of father;
Yes. I've obtained higher-than-average grades while in school. No matter how "weak" I seem in a subject, I always manage to pass. I went to a boarding school across country from where I originally lived -- you can say that these two towns were in totally opposite sides of the country. Higher education always brings me to faraway land. I always choose to travel whenever opportunity arise, and I've been fortunate that most of my travels have been paid for by businesses.
My travelling happened almost as soon as father passed away.

sat some 3m from now moves to own cap 7th,
growth-riches through public administration, mass supervision;
sat cap aspect moon-libra 4th supportive of property matters etc;
I suppose my current community services vocation would support this even further. I partner with local governments to organise my events, so I tend to be in contact with high-level gov officials. Property investments are something I've always wanted to do, and I plan on looking into it but only once I have the finance and risk willingness to endeavor in it.

sun-mer taurus 12th, creative, energetic, stubborn,
love of food-comforts,literary-oratory abilities,
aptitude for hotel management-banking,
gains from govt, corporates, social elite;
I do have good fortune when it comes to dealing with government and large corporations. I have a knack for figuring out what people want to hear, and I get invitations to talk and share in many events. I'm good at managing money, and I do splurge from time to time but only on practical things and those that have lasting positive effect on me; I love eating out, but I have built self-control to not do it too often -- home-cooked meals are much healthy for me.
I LOVE writing and the written word.

inimical jup past year transit moon-libra 4th,
emotional stress-delays in domestic comforts-property-mother,
heart-lungs-kidney issues;
moon libra wavery decision making,
prone to stormy anger when provoked;
I admit that relationship with Virgo Sun/Cancer Moon mother isn't all pretty. I love her, but I don't like her. I tend to stay away from her, especially when it comes to financial matters. Our relationship is better when we seldom meet or if we're at a distance; our outburst are less frequent that way.
No health issue.
Wavering decision-making, yes that sometimes appear, but now I have my own technique to lessen that tendency.

inimical jup now transit scorpio 5th, research-occult aptitudes;
stress-delays in luck-edu-romance-children-position;
health issues heart-stomach-urological etc;
I'm currently not seeing any of the mentioned effect other than the research-occult aptitudes, which is what I'm doing now, pleasantly :)

jup scorpio trine mars pisces 9th supportive of luck-edu-travels;
and trine sat-cancer 2nd supportive of earnings in distant lands;
jup scorpio aspect own sun-mer taurus 11th for gains-friendships;
Maybe not of earnings IN distant lands, but more of earnings that allow me to GO TO distant lands.
I changed schools frequently during my teens, primarily because of father. So I was able to have many friends, some of whom I am still in contact with until today.

mars lord 5th/11th over 9th tech aptitudes/submarines-waterworks etc,
and spirituality through service of mankind;
Tech. Very much tech. I use this knowledge help and reach out to the community by providing free training.

acq-sat 9th settling life at 36+
This is true. I haven't look at my transit/progressed chart for 5th May 2013, the day when everything changed and I chose to leave my marriage. Everything else escalated from there.

gemini asc, analytical, curious, clever, music, humor, business analyst,
good at information processing, not good at decision making-confused;
Music is in my nature. I can sing and play multitudes of music instruments, and I play by ear.
I solve the decision-making part by getting others' consensus. Otherwise, I just choose which is the most achievable and realistic.

sat cancer 2nd, sensitive, earnings in distant lands;
sat lord 9th for distant travels moreover;
sat cancer highest deg, the core personality;
technical aptitudes, water works, etc etc
Yes.

venus gemini 2nd highest deg, factor for vocation;
instrumental music, garment stitching, information technology etc;
How hilariously accurate :)
I have a online service that provides stitching resources for hobbyists. I've also mentioned my musical tendencies.

may pick and adapt and integrate as relevant, wishing well,
hope find helpful and useful enough, finding yourself,


kshantaram

Thank you again, kshantaram. Your interpretation validates what I've wanted to do with my life, specifically on travel. My knowledge and soul have grown tremendously since doing so. I don't see myself stopping my distant travels anytime soon, and I look forward to my next travel.

Blessings to you.
 
Last edited:

kshantaram

Premium Member
Greatly appreciate the candid feedbacks!
God Bless yourself and your children, and your aspirations.

wishing all well, kshantaram.
 
On self

For some reason, I'm not too fascinated by my Taurus Sun to analyse it too much. I've read about my sun sign for much of my astrology learning starting from my teens, and only discovered about other personal planets and aspects in the past couple of years. I relate to many of the Taurean description.

That changed around my early 30's. I found myself becoming restless, and wanted to break out of my life that I thought was mundane. So I learned how to become more sociable, and connect to as many people as I could. It primarily helps me to expand my business. But I was really looking for interpersonal relationships, not just business partnerships. I think this is where the Gemini Ascendant comes increasingly to light.

My personality changed. I made it a point to smile more often. I became less serious, more friendly, more sociable, more exploratory(Sun/Taurus Mercury conjunction). I began to enjoy being with my group of friends, but more so with a group of strangers (Gemini AS). My curiosity led me to connect with people of different backgrounds and levels. I get along with everyone (Libra Moon). Sun in 11th house highlights the fact that I express myself through my community.

People say that I help everyone (possibly Sun/Chiron conjunction? Also Pisces MC). Whenever someone needs help with something concerning community outreach or connections in my town or area, people from different locations and even country would tell that I am that go-to person. One trait that gets me slightly worried from time to time is that I often work or help others without expecting any compensation. My realistic self sometimes give me the slap and remind me that it's okay to receive. But very often I go into this self-sacrificing mode any time and for any occasion, because of how good it feels to help people. Now, I make sure that I prioritise to efforts that brings real meaning to my life, rather than just go at it because I can.

I get chances to speak at public events, and I enjoy training others with what skills I have. My 3rd house Leo enjoys those rhetoric opportunities. I love working together, and people say I inspire them. So what happens is that I now act like a connector across different industries and different community grassroots, especially concerning efforts for community welfare. I enjoy creating an environment where different people with different perspectives get together and work towards a common goal. This gives me the highest satisfaction -- the goal of making people see and solve things in a whole new light (AS/Scorpio Uranus trine).

People find my approach to helping people to be unique (Sun/Uranus opposition). I want to help people, but on my own terms. So far, I've been very fortunate that my unconventional approaches have worked in getting my community to grow.

Most of these reasons gave me the chance to lead the community in many ways, especially on the ecosystem for women and youth inclusion (Pisces Mars/Lilith conjunct). I attract cooperation from many people with Leo-influenced signs in my work.

It hasn't always been this way for me before. Assertiveness and self-doubt plagued me during the earlier years. I didn't want to be too obvious, too show-off-looking. I felt awkward. I question myself often -- am I good enough to help, do I even have the right to help people (possible Mars/Taurus Chiron semisquare). I finally told myself that life is too short for me to worry what others think. It wasn't about fame and glory. As long as I do what I believe is right, and that I do whatever I do with sincerity and can benefit everyone, then this should be enough. Coincidentally, I was offered an opportunity by a large corporation to lead a community-outreach effort, and against my usual judgement, I took the challenge. It was one of the best decisions in my life (possibly a Sun/Saturn sextile energy).

I mentioned how much I love my 1st house Cancer Saturn placement. It really subdues my personality and makes me appreciate hard work and patience. I get agitated easily when routine kicks in, but I'm strong-willed enough to know that routine is necessary for me to achieve and appreciate the more exciting and new opportunities and experiences that come my way. My routine and grounded ways (Sun/Saturn sextile again?) are also there to create a stable home life for my children.

Attached is my transit chart for 5 May 2013, where everything went topsy turvy and became the catalyst for everything else that has happened in my life since. I still don't know how to read transit charts, so I might come back to this again.
 

Attachments

  • astro_24gw_anonymous_201355.37679.1098.jpg
    astro_24gw_anonymous_201355.37679.1098.jpg
    58.9 KB · Views: 16
Last edited:

kshantaram

Premium Member
On self
Attached is my transit chart for 5 May 2013, where everything went topsy turvy and became the catalyst for everything else that has happened in my life since. I still don't know how to read transit charts, so I might come back to this again.


hope this helps-gives clues with May 5th, 2013 major transits in case :
best wishes, feedbacks!


sat-rahu for 1.5yr transit scorpio 5th, 2nd from moon,
sat lord 9th for luck, rahu debilated scorpio,
luck-edu-romance-position under great stress,
research-occult aptitudes, rise-fall in life,
sun-sat opp under great stress, relationship with father under conflict;

sat scorpio 5th for 2.5yrs stuck
dark secretive pit, suspicious, sentimental, passionate;
sat aspect own cap 8th protection from major danger;

jup lord 7th transit venus gemini 12th trine moon,
promoting relationship, artistic tastes, music, etc,
while aspecting own sag 7th for relationship-vocation;
sag-jup inimical transit asc gemini over venus-ketu 12th,
prone to enhanced lung-feet-kidney pain;

separative ketu 01.5 yr transit sun-mer taurus 11th,
love of food-comforts and hyper-stubborn, hyper creative-energetic,
detachment from income-gains-friendships, pain-injury-surgery
heart-stomach-throat-teeth-thyroid-head-skin-lungs-ears-arms, etc;
 
hope this helps-gives clues with May 5th, 2013 major transits in case :
best wishes, feedbacks!


sat-rahu for 1.5yr transit scorpio 5th, 2nd from moon,
sat lord 9th for luck, rahu debilated scorpio,
luck-edu-romance-position under great stress,
research-occult aptitudes, rise-fall in life,
sun-sat opp under great stress, relationship with father under conflict;
Possibly ex-spouse can be considered father figure since actual father has passed away? If so, then this would match what happened that day. Connected to romance and possibly position if you can consider my function as the wife to be a position in itself. Rise-fall in life = one of the most defining day of my life, yes.

sat scorpio 5th for 2.5yrs stuck
dark secretive pit, suspicious, sentimental, passionate;
sat aspect own cap 8th protection from major danger;

jup lord 7th transit venus gemini 12th trine moon,
promoting relationship, artistic tastes, music, etc,
while aspecting own sag 7th for relationship-vocation;
sag-jup inimical transit asc gemini over venus-ketu 12th,
prone to enhanced lung-feet-kidney pain;
Not sure I can relate to the first paragraph. But the second transit description is relatable. Artisic tastes, music = I initiated a music band with my work colleagues and we performed live for about a year. We were good enough that people would offer us to play at their private functions. I wasn't interested in doing it professional, however. As I left the job, we disbanded.

separative ketu 01.5 yr transit sun-mer taurus 11th,
love of food-comforts and hyper-stubborn, hyper creative-energetic,
detachment from income-gains-friendships, pain-injury-surgery
heart-stomach-throat-teeth-thyroid-head-skin-lungs-ears-arms, etc;
A year after this date, I left my full time job which I've held for almost 5 years, to do full time community work. I established new connection at this time. I started to become very productive. Financially, I get by well enough to support all my children without my ex-spouse's help, due to the sale of our home that we jointly bought.

Since this date, I have very little health issue, because I was able to give more priority on my self and health soon after. I used to have many, including spine injury, gallbladder, ankle, lethargy, etc, while I was in my marriage. So thankfully, I haven't struggled with most of the health issues you mentioned.

Again, thank you for your insights, kshantaram, and feel free to add more or ask questions.

Sincerely.
 
Cardinal T-Square: Saturn and Moon/Pluto/Jupiter

As much as I think I understand my Saturn placement, I still couldn't figure out how it plays out within the T-square placement. In any case, here are some point-forms of the things that I can relate to with the pattern, or issues that needs addressing:-

  • I strongly feel that Cancer Saturn is less critical than 1st house Saturn. The urge is strong that my struggle is more of the 1st house self, rather than Cancerian issues. Of course, what struggle I have on self will bleed over family issues, being a single mother and sole breadwinner. Reading my past posts further validates my concerns of the self.
  • I couldn't relate with low self-esteem, either, which can be associated with 1st house Saturn. Rather, self-assertiveness and going with my gut instead of my head is more of an issue for me. Overthinking is always my challenge. Internalising things was a habit, too; somehow, though, these past several years I've learned so much of myself that taking action will relief the tension of overthinking and internalising.
  • Control is a huge thing for me, and I view this positively. Control = discipline, patience, objectivity. I try to incorporate emotions as much as I can specifically to validate whether my actions are what feels right for me. I learnt too often that if I follow objectivity without considering what my heart tells me, I stress out and end up carrying burdens that I could have avoided if I have not chosen act in such a way.
  • It's true that I find myself constantly reminding others of my beliefs and work ethics to people. I tend to prefer compromise, but I've learnt to be careful that my values aren't compromised to please others. It tends to put me on a tough spot reputation-wise. So far, I'm blessed to have good timing, to know when to pull out of agreements that I see are falling apart, and avoids from me being dragged down. The recent decision I made which I didn't listen to my gut feeling was on working with a family member for his business. I wasn't planning on working too long on his firm, but because I feel obligated to help, I agreed to extend my work contract for his sake. Havoc followed. My gut was telling me to run, run, run, but I stayed on for family's sake. That was my one and only time working with a family member.
    I hope I won't do it again.
  • Until now, I still feel the urgency to DO something. My fear has always been whether I can complete what I start. If there's one thing that would freeze me on my track, it would be not finishing what I start. I need to accept the fact that not everything that I start deserve to be finished. I just need to make sure that it doesn't affect my reputation and other people.
 
Top