My Grand Cross?

Hi everyone. I hope I'm doing this correctly. I read the instructions on the sticky notes, but got a little confused about the image size. I didn't see a tab to change it on astro.com.

I've been told I have a cardinal grand cross. Supposedly I have T squares too?

I know I have a very challenging chart. Sometimes I feel so conflicted that my personality is non existent, simply because each day brings new inner challenges that I have to constantly deal with, I almost feel like I don't know who I am, other than I know I try to help people and be kind, and that I love and adore people, and animals. (except mice, they really freak me out lol)


What I interpret from my chart is that I have so many energies fighting one another that it's hard to choose one. My problem is that I have no idea what those energies are, and which one to choose, because I have no clue where I'm going in life, other than spiritually (even that's questionable) . I know I have two children that I love, and I love their father (my significant other) and we are happy despite some challenges. On the other hand I have huge difficulties with my immediate family.

Houses 3, 6, 9, 12. Are those my weaknesses?

I appreciate it.

Also, I hear a lot that a challenging birth chart means I have some serious karmic debt to pay off. Hopefully there is some hope in doing so in this life. Maybe with charity... I did read about that with chiron in my 12th

yes, the houses involved in the planetary cross are of significance in your life; oppositions create contradiction and paradox and they either end in separation or get resolved through adaptation and compromise; the squares represent the inner tension resulting from the cross, often in terms of anger or frustration. Think in terms of the axis of polarity between Cancer/Capricorn and Libra/Aries.
The one relates to the balancing between the private life, and the public life; the other is about relationships, as in 'self vs others'. We can see the difficulties with the birth family as part of the 3rd and 4th Houses.
The influence of Mars conjunct Sun represents your past conditioning through your parents and ancestral roots, and there were obviously conflicts involved in terms of control and authority.
This pairing in opposition to the Moon suggests the parents did not set the best example for you and that there is still emotional baggage attached to the past. You were born at the time of the Full Moon, and this sets the tone for your life, in terms of the expectation of difficulty and turmoil at every turn.
Moon in Aries carries the inner need for control, and you tend to try to control the outcomes of every situation you encounter, thus your reactionary impulse is often quite self-defensive or demanding. Repressed anger or resentment often contributes to tension and frustration. With the cross being of the cardinal modality, combined with the conjunction of Mars/Sun, shows that you have the innate drive to initiate your goals and to succeed , although you may be lacking in follow through due to the distractions your encounter. This combination is about your sense of personal Identity, and could relate to having your confidence undermined in the past. Mars in Libra is about addressing the need for balance in relationships. As the ruler of your MC, Mars can bring contention to your 10th H issues.
All those afflictions of the Moon represent emotional blockages from the past, while Mars afflictions affect your actions and motivations. Balance and emotional control need to be acquired and gaining more insight into your inner world will help to offset some of your karmic load. You also need to examine the inner fears and restrictions of your Saturn in Capricorn which serve as detriments to the attainment of wholeness and fulfillment in life. The conjunction of Saturn and Neptune is often a heavy burden to bear [I have it also] but as I have learned it is only through adversity that we grow to be strong and resilient.

Thank you so much for your help and interpretation of my chart. Its very accurate. Sometimes it is very difficult to balance, but lately ive been trying really hard and meditiation seems to help more than anything, and allowing positivity in. I talked to a spiritual person and he said I should take the energy and try to hyperfocus and hone it to positivity.

First of all yes you have and you will have problems with the family,Pluto in 4 house,constant struggle for power through harm and sabotage emotionally each other,I believe that is a man the one you have the problem.And you are not the only one who fights, you were raised in a home where your mom and dad constantly were fighting and thats why you feel nervous in the enviroment of house.I suggest to minimize the time you spend home and the case has to do about house arguing to let it go and let them win. In the end you will inheret a house from your mom.I believe that you spend a lot time home rising asc in canser and sun in 4th house, if so do that in a closed room and alone -12 in jupiter- you are the case that recharge your energy being alone.
Also about the mental energy tension you feel Aries in 3 house I suggest to keep a daily writing journal, or else you feel the need to argue with words, you probably could be a great writer or teacher, mercury 3 house. Overall I believe that position of the planets and signs is very good but the tension energy from the squares you are not use it in the best way, it seems to me that you are a fighty personality who enjoys winning the arguememts especially with men.

You do have the potential for positive growth, by accessing the energies of your trine aspects:
Jupiter trine Pluto and Venus trine Moon. The first one relates to empowering yourself in order to resurrect your true self which holds the spark of divinity. Yes inner balance is necessary and the karmic burdens may seem especially difficult, however the Libra Sun is meant to bring about peace, co-operation and giving. Do that for yourself and then you can share it with others. By purging the chains that bind you to the past, you can re-create yourself as a healer for others.

Jupiter/Pluto especially relates to matters of the Soul and spirituality. Jupiter joined with Chiron in the 12th suggests that you may need to sequester yourself for in-depth self-analysis and revitalization. Your Soul needs you to be able to see your own truths, rather than depending on the reality of others. Jupiter is also associated with charity, generosity, truth and justice and these are the traits you might try to foster.

With the second trine, Moon/Venus, it shows the capacity to show kindness and caring to others and can also show creative talents that you might bring to bear. Venus in the 5th is about bringing the light of love to those you connect with, which can also be tied in with children especially. Venus wants you to foster an attitude of gratitude and thankfulness for the blessings you do have, rather than obsessing over what you think you haven't acquired through the material plane. Aspire to higher consciousness and awareness of the true purposes of life [Moon in the 9th] and new doors of understanding will be opened to you.
Your destiny is connected to the energies of Uranus, promoting, innovation, freedom of thought and creativity, humanity, progress, uniqueness, universalism. The NN shows you have something of importance to share with the world.

again thank you both, and very spot on. My tension actually, concerning the family (not in my household) but growing up has been with my mom. Im one of six children and there are a lot of players In the spectrum. She is somewhat of the matriarch. GrowiNg up I choose not to fight with men and have always, as you said kept a journal of my frustrations. I learned quick that if I argue my beliefs i make enemies, and my inquizitive nature would rather observe their behavior (whether it angers me or not) and learn how to behave appropriately. My hotheadedness comes out mostly when my own character is insulted. When that happens I blow up and quickly apologize. Your interpretations are amazing.