Sorry Teb,
i forgot, here is my chart ...What are the effects of this? Hmmmmm, believe me half the time i do not know what is going on ... i think it most prominently manifested itself in my work and career, last year i stood up to my female boss and a couple of other wannabe higher ups, who were known to be difficult, they are all very Plutonic personalities, and i basically "fought" with them for 3 years constantly, they constantly undermined me, insulted me, were jelous, because i was way younger and they percieved me being very educated as a threat, so they resorted to all kinds of things to get me out of there, which they succeded in December last year. i worked very hard and I feel like evil has won. Hence my dissilusionment with the world, i can not even watch the news anymore, everything seems so corrupt, and a lie..., i have lost faith in goodness of human beings and i hate it, cause i was a real people person, open, optimistic, i would not say naive.
Right now i am pretty much a hermit, rarely go out, i need privacy, i need time to recuparate, physically i feel weak, tired, in pain, it is such a strange feeling, i feel like i have been through hell, and i got nothing to show for, but my pain, my soul is all torn, i feel like i do not know myself anymore, i ask myself was my old me totally wrong, i always thought compared to most of my peers, that i got it pretty together, got a leveled head on my shoulder, and if i am to become someone transformed, who am i suppose to be, i guess the integration is yet to happen!