All us Cancer ascs are getting our wings clipped. I have a late Cancer asc so the worst is yet to come. I had a bandmate around december, and about 3 weeks ago he told me that he has too many responsibilities. I tried showing him a lot of love, but he just looks at me from afar now. During the grand trines in earth, hes a capricorn he was about to write songs with me. Then the following week he backed away since then. My ex girlfriend stopped talking to me as a friend. One of my friends resigned, but I havent talked to him in like a year anyways. Another of my friends is like on a different schedule now, and hasent responded for a couple of weeks. I'm having trouble with women. This girl I like just listens to my msgs, but doesnt say much. At least she thinks about me most days although not entirely good. Some people wont return my emails. One of them does, but he just says like "lol" or sends me his music.
When it comes to work/stamina/self-confidence. Mine is pretty low also. The girl I like probably sees me as complainish. Or caught up on stupid things. It is really hard to start any projects or follow through. I also have this Mars opposition pluto transit which blocks off my energy making it more sporadic. I can do some things fine like go on walks and listen to music is pretty fun. I've also been depressed or like gloomy. I feel the whole going up hill without being able to start alone thing.
What I do like about it though is the juxaposition of views on myself. I call it exploring the human condition. Exploring crevices of my weaknesses, strengths, and what Ive accomplished so far. Seeing how society itself is maladjusted (cancer/saturn thing). Seeing how it really kind of is a free for all. Even trying to help other people out in this time is fruitless at times. Having like a resevior, but stupid river. Basically I find it a pretty humanizing aspect, but it doesnt matter if I get pizza or something. It just feels like its going mostly wrong. Especially with that Uranus Square Uranus also. It basically makes me want to move to a completely different city. People say they were going to do things, and never do anything. Another thing that I feel paradoxically is that people around me are underacheiving. Cause I tried showing people what kind of attitude, and resources are needed. Yet they rather watch tv or something. So im kind of left to my own devices. It hasent been completely a waste, but it is already april. And several things that were promised to me in the winter to come by this time still havent happened. At least I still have some friends wanting to be around them daily. I also kind of knew that this was going to happen at least a few months ago, so it didnt really take me by shock. I still go on day to day.
I was thinking about moving since before the aspects though. I think I have the intuition of just feeling what is going to happen in my life sometimes. Like I'll write something down, and I'll see the seeds for my thought pattens in the future. Or i'll have a feeling of what my condition would be like in the future if certain things happened.
I guess I do see the positive thing in it, but I am really hoping for a kind of anchor to come my way. Or at least a more clear realization of what or where I need to be next. I don't have the adventurous excitement of moving all of a sudden, it would be more like a throwing in the towel random set up move.
The most horrible part is that I thought this was going to be a good year compared to last year. Last year was actually my breakthrough year even though it was horrible neptune/saturn transit. Now this year I have uranus square uranus I mean I dont even really want the relationship. Saturn square Asc, I have no one to move foreward with that I want. Mars opposition pluto which is kind of like burning up on the way there. At least this year is more colorful/introspective. Uranus sextile Venus, Uranus Sextile Mercury.
When it comes to work/stamina/self-confidence. Mine is pretty low also. The girl I like probably sees me as complainish. Or caught up on stupid things. It is really hard to start any projects or follow through. I also have this Mars opposition pluto transit which blocks off my energy making it more sporadic. I can do some things fine like go on walks and listen to music is pretty fun. I've also been depressed or like gloomy. I feel the whole going up hill without being able to start alone thing.
What I do like about it though is the juxaposition of views on myself. I call it exploring the human condition. Exploring crevices of my weaknesses, strengths, and what Ive accomplished so far. Seeing how society itself is maladjusted (cancer/saturn thing). Seeing how it really kind of is a free for all. Even trying to help other people out in this time is fruitless at times. Having like a resevior, but stupid river. Basically I find it a pretty humanizing aspect, but it doesnt matter if I get pizza or something. It just feels like its going mostly wrong. Especially with that Uranus Square Uranus also. It basically makes me want to move to a completely different city. People say they were going to do things, and never do anything. Another thing that I feel paradoxically is that people around me are underacheiving. Cause I tried showing people what kind of attitude, and resources are needed. Yet they rather watch tv or something. So im kind of left to my own devices. It hasent been completely a waste, but it is already april. And several things that were promised to me in the winter to come by this time still havent happened. At least I still have some friends wanting to be around them daily. I also kind of knew that this was going to happen at least a few months ago, so it didnt really take me by shock. I still go on day to day.
I was thinking about moving since before the aspects though. I think I have the intuition of just feeling what is going to happen in my life sometimes. Like I'll write something down, and I'll see the seeds for my thought pattens in the future. Or i'll have a feeling of what my condition would be like in the future if certain things happened.
I guess I do see the positive thing in it, but I am really hoping for a kind of anchor to come my way. Or at least a more clear realization of what or where I need to be next. I don't have the adventurous excitement of moving all of a sudden, it would be more like a throwing in the towel random set up move.
The most horrible part is that I thought this was going to be a good year compared to last year. Last year was actually my breakthrough year even though it was horrible neptune/saturn transit. Now this year I have uranus square uranus I mean I dont even really want the relationship. Saturn square Asc, I have no one to move foreward with that I want. Mars opposition pluto which is kind of like burning up on the way there. At least this year is more colorful/introspective. Uranus sextile Venus, Uranus Sextile Mercury.
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