venus conjunct saturn =bad love life ?

hi, i am a new member , and not so bad in astrology...however, there is always something in our own charts that makes us uneasy...i have venus 16 aries , saturn 21 aries and moon 29 aries conjunction in second/third house ...somehow i do seem to have a rather sad love life , though i started living with ( now ) my husband when i was 18 , and now i am 37..he is ok , but sex is dull and rare - always was..he makes me feel safe though..having uranus transiting my sun i was uneasy for the last few years , even had some love affairs..but no luck either..am i doomed to have this kind of life for the rest of it...because i really miss something big i think , and feel bad..with moon on 29 aries squares mars 29 scorpio i seem to be very passionate and forward..jumping even..please help..thank you.... http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b189/zooloo33/lara.jpg
this is my chart....

Relationship freedom

zooloo,

In addition to having Saturn (duty, also structure) conjunct (energy is combined with) Venus (relationships), you also have Libra (relationships) modifying Uranus (friends, also rebellion); so you want structured relationships but you ALSO want to have some type of freedom in your relationships. It seems that this need for "freedom" has not been successfully handled in your life. So start thinking about some things you can do on your own, outside the relationship to give you some freedom, while preserving the structure and the security of the relationship at the same time (something like going to an after-hours recreational course in yoga or some other recreational activity).

Suggesting,

Tim

thank you tim, i love to read your comments...they are like a voice of reason...but do you really think it is so easy..i do go for aerobics and stuff and i have two quite succesfull carriers ( as an architect and fashion designer...) sixth house in gemini - i guess.it all dont seem to be enough..
my heart is empty and that fallows me around.....i was wondering if transits or progressions can make thing better...or i am stuck in my skin for good.......thank you anyway

Zooloo,

I have noticed in your chart that the 2nd and 8th house contain many placements. There doesn't seem to be exact oppositions but I have always had the theory that when two opposite houses contain many planets, the native feels conflict between the two areas of life concerned.

The 2nd house is house of material security, sensual pleasures and many things that you Aries stellium may consider boring. The 8th house is house of emotional security and sex as well as reconstruction but only after destruction. The high, intense sexual energy from the 8th house (also empowered by all the Aries placements) will fight with your need for practical security. Although other people can manage the two areas without conflict, you will always feel like you can't.
Also, the quincux between the Moon and Mars isn't helpful. Although this not a most stressful aspect, I have found that negative aspects between Mars and Moon could make the native find it easier than most people to cheat on their mate (Not that it's EASY.. just EASIER). Plus, Your Capricorn ASC may have a pessimistic effect on how you approach issues in general.. including this one.
Here we, as always, face the issue of fate Vs free will. Maybe you need to understand that whatever sadness or failures you keep facing in your love life (or lives) are coming from the confusion within your own psyche.

What you need to do is to find the heat and sexual intesity within your secure marriage. Security should not be considerd a dull thing. In fact, when you are with someone you trust, you can have soooooo many adventures you can't have with someone that you don't really trust.
You need the help of a caring, motherly partner who is sexually intense and full of layers that you find one after the other (like shrek ). I think a good shot to take is for you to rediscover your husband. With your long-going concern about how sad YOU are, maybe you have missed a few parts of his personality... and feelings. Afterall, you did forget to post his birth data although he is directly related to the matter you are asking about.
Let your husband understand your need for intense yet secure physcial adventures whether you tell it his face or by just wooing him into it.

Hope I've been helpful.

Dear sir,
i am gratefull for your advice.But again things are never just as simple.I had an affair - in fact i fell in love with someone else after 15 years of marriage and a year without sex..My lover sun was exact conjunction my moon. it was love i had no doubt about it - but it was hard , and we didnt want to leave our children so we broke of ..it really broke my haert - even now , few years after i still suffer. I love my husband but our relationship always was platonic. When i met him i was 18 and i didnt mind much...he is funny and sweet but also completely different from me..over the years we just seem to grow apart. he always says how beautifull i am but is too tired or so...I am very attractive while he gained 40 kg since i met him and now has 120 kg..i talked with him about devorce but he doesnt want to hear of it...we have a daughter...sometimes i even think about suicide - please do check if something like that is in my chart...i feel traped , very traped....
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b189/zooloo33/vla-lara.jpg synastry with my husband
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b189/zooloo33/lara-t.jpg
synastry with my ex - lover
thank you all......

Voice of reason

Zooloo,

...sex is dull and rare...tim, i love to read your comments...they are like a voice of reason...sometimes i even think about suicide...

Click to expand...

I am glad I am the voice of reason to you...I hope that I am the voice of reason again when I say DO NOT commit suicide. I know at this time it is only a little thought in your head, barely heard, but the very fact that you are willing to think about it indicates that there is a REAL problem. Right now you have transiting (planets in the sky) Pluto (transformation, also death) focused in the 11th house (friends, also rebellion) squaring (energy needs to be combined with) birth Pluto (transformation, also death) focused in the 8th house (transformation, also death), so rebellion and death thoughts are not surprising at this time. And, as you know, Pluto transits take a LONG time to complete.

I think it is time to realize that talking with your husband and public postings may not be enough to get you through this most challenging transit time. Perhaps a marriage counselor or, if you and/or your husband are not willing to do this, perhaps some sessions with a counseling psychiatrist. Boredom is NOT terminal, unless you decide to make it so. But if you have all this "transformation" energy that you don't know what to do with, then you need help from someone else to see you through this process.

Wishing you a long, happy life,

Tim

thanks Tim,
I always was worried about my eight house ,but i do hope all will be fine..i am thinking of going to see someone because these are the hard times for me...thanks again....