Horary Attempt - Please tell me he wont come back :(

Hello, Having never really taken much notice of horary Ive decided to look into it and have attempted a very basic interpretion based on skyscript information.

For those of you that know about my insane b/f from previous posts im sorry to say that he came back after all the lock changing panicing fears from a few months ago

Having got rid of the narcissist once againout of my life, (he tried to charm me yesterday with text messages but I returned 1 message and told him in no uncertain terms that I wanted nothing more to do with him) I have enjoyed a very relaxed and peacefully happy weekend. You dont realise how disruptive some people can be even just by being present, anyway, Ive tried to get rid of him before on numerous occassions but he always manages to charm me and comes back although my insides are screaming "DAWN NO YOU DICK HEAD!"
but something snapped the other day after a friend of mine died and his reaction http://astrodawn.blogspot.com for anyone interested and although I always knew he was personality disordered it really hit home of how much I was wasting my life on someone so pointless and disturbed.

Back to the point, because I have this worry (especially as he has N venus opposite N pluto square N mars t square,
with transits of venus, mercury & mars conjunct his natal pluto opposite N venus and square N mars.

I was unsure what to ask so the question it was "will we get back together?" not because I want to but because I DONT want to!

11.30am 7th sept 08

Asc is 5 degrees SCORPIO (is this too early a degree for the question to be valid?) = I am represented by MARS which resides in 11H conjunct mercury and venus.
7H Is TAURUS so he is represented by venus which resides in 11H conjunct mars and mercury?

Now mars is in detriment in libra (skyscript says to avioid people with signif in detriment)
It also says "The Querent has in her house of trust, confidence and hopes (11H).

Does this mean Im confident I wont see him again, but he is also confident that he will see me again?
Oh its too confusing being all conjunct in 11H

To my useless horary eyes that conjunction of veunus mars and mercury doesnt look very hopeful. In the past he has always managed to get at me while im out drunk and dancing and socialising 11H (told you before about how good we are when we are out together) anyway to counteract this problem, im not going out for 6 months.

What do you think?

Look, I don't mean to sound trite about this, but you've made it quite clear from your post that you don't want to get back together with him...so why would you even consider asking a question about whether you will? Are you doing a Shakespeare "methinks the lady doth protest too much"?

Unless you really do want to get back together with him, I mean. This isn't written in the stars...it's your choice.

AG

Response as I expected (and predicted)

I asked a question and got nothing in reply except moralistic judement.

Thanks

Um, it's neither judgement or moralistic. It's simply a logical question. I don't really pass judgement on what people do...I only ask them why they do it. There's a difference.

AG

Astrodawn said:

Response as I expected (and predicted)

I asked a question and got nothing in reply except moralistic judement.

Thanks

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Hi Dawn,
I didn't notice horary chart posted for the actual question. A 5 degree Acs is not too early, but from what I can tell with my own software and not having the location of the question it looks like it's a VOC moon which means the chart is not fit to judge. However, Lilly says "generally consider the state of the Moon, for if she be void of course, there's no great hopes of the question propounded, that it shall be effected, yet if she be in Cancer, Taurus, Sag, or Piscies your fear may be the less, for then she is not much impeded by being void of course." So I think it's ok to judge.

So, since moon has separated from his significators and is now void of Course, this tells me no you will not get back together. I think it is supported by Venus (him) trying to get to you(Mars) but Mecury is blocking the action. What is Mecury? Could be a friend since it's in your 11th H or just simply your thoughts. Either way it does seem like a no. Of course you do have free will.
Vista

Thankyou so much Vista

I am trying to wrap my head around horary at present, and your assistance is greatly appriciated.

I shall read further on the void of course effects of the moon next in more depth.
My mind is made up with this, so mercury may be my own thoughts as you said.
I spent 40 years in and out of relationships and have never ever gone backwards for it doesnt work, however Ive never had to deal with a person such as him and the manipulative controlling effect he has on me has left me feeling as though Im not in control and that he will do as he likes. A very distressing situation for me. but the death of a friend on Wed gave me the final push/strength and shocked me back into reality. I still have a fear inside though and looked at this for added confidence that I was free.

Thanks Vista

Thanks for answering, Vista...you got to it before I did!

My concern was this:

I was unsure what to ask so the question it was "will we get back together?" not because I want to but because I DONT want to!

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In horary, it's fairly important to know exactly what you're asking...so asking questions when you're not quite sure is sometimes not helpful to either querent or astrologer. Lilly says:

Judge not upon every slight motion, or without premeditation of the Querent, nor upon slight and triviall Questions, or when the Querent hath not wit to know what he would demand.

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Because you seemed so ambivalent, Astrodawn, it's good to clarify before asking a question, or before an astrologer reads the chart. As it is, you appear to have already known what the answer would be even before you asked it.

AG

There are people who on the surface are extremely charming (my ex) and then underneath you begin to see something quite different, possibly a need to control, to possess, to harm, to manipulate others.For those of us who have a certain naivete and need it can be hard to resist. I have seen people who were quite fine and then pulled into a relationship like that and there life turned upside down. this type of person will work on eroding your self-confidence and/or self-esteem on very subtle levels until you leave feeling like they are right, you need them to say you are okay. Look to see where Neptune is transiting your chart, progressed or otherwise and what Neptune aspects natally. Neptune can be illusion, deception, as well as dreams come true. If it has been Neptune then it sounds like it is finally moving away from the aspect. Check it out.

cassanra said:

this type of person will work on eroding your self-confidence and/or self-esteem on very subtle levels until you leave feeling like they are right, you need them to say you are okay. Look to see where Neptune is transiting your chart, progressed or otherwise and what Neptune aspects natally.

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You understand exactly cassandra.
You are also completely correct with your assumptions about TR neptune.

TR Neptune was exactly conjunct mt DESC when I met him, it is still conjunct but has moved 2 degrees past at present and is now in my 7H.
I looked at that Transit when I met him, I should have run a mile like my guts were telling me to then and saved myself all this!

Hi Dawn - I am not an astrologist- just learning about it - but I do know quite a bit about NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder.) I had a similar situation in my life with a boyfriend who would just not leave me alone. (I was also raised by an NPD mother - so I am guessing that is one reason I am attracted to them. This guy was not the first.)

First off, for me (this is not to say anything about how you feel) I had to get 100% honest with myself. Was I going to miss him - the attention, the drama? I have to say that like most narcissists, he was incredibly charming and made me feel very special. I loved the good side of him but I liked the bad drama too. I had gone through a time period of incredible boredom, apathy and stagnation. I was doing a job I hated and finishing a graduate degree program that was completely unfulfilling. I had to admit to myself that the ups and downs he created helped keep me from addressing the ****** life I created for myself. I would have a lot of mourning to do after letting him go.

One piece of advice I can give is that once you do cut it off - it needs to be FINAL. You do not text this person back to say "under no uncertain terms, no contact" etc. That completely undermines your position. My guy once even told me, "You need to cut me off completely - I can't do it and you must. I will eventually get the message."

In my last correspondence to him I basically said, "if you come near my house or person, I will contact the police." I changed all of my numbers, got a new email account, etc. This may sound crazy, but I even had a friend change my email account password so I could not get in and would not be tempted to.

He sent a few letters via post - which I threw away before reading. I knew if I returned them, it would only be a sign that I had reacted to him. Complete silence was the key. One thing a person with NPD cannot stand is to be ignored. They will go and find someone else to love/harass once you cut off the source.

I hope you find this advice helpful.

Astarte

I understand what you are saying about the FINAL. I sent that one message and have deleted all messages and phone numbers to do with him so I cant phone him if i wanted to.
Anything he has sent has been deleted unread since. phonecalls have been unanswered and emails are not a problem.

this is why i also decided not to go out for at least 6 months, I know he will be out prowling looking for me, and will at some point hopefully find someone else to victimise (although I feel sorry for them in advance)

Im extra vigilant aswell knowing he has obsessional transits at the minute.

Ive said I will escape before, and am aware that Ive become one of those people who I thought in the past were ermm 'weak willed' but anyone who has met someone like this will know the problems involved.

thanks for your support

Astrodawn said:

Thankyou so much Vista

I am trying to wrap my head around horary at present, and your assistance is greatly appriciated.

I shall read further on the void of course effects of the moon next in more depth.
My mind is made up with this, so mercury may be my own thoughts as you said.
I spent 40 years in and out of relationships and have never ever gone backwards for it doesnt work, however Ive never had to deal with a person such as him and the manipulative controlling effect he has on me has left me feeling as though Im not in control and that he will do as he likes. A very distressing situation for me. but the death of a friend on Wed gave me the final push/strength and shocked me back into reality. I still have a fear inside though and looked at this for added confidence that I was free.

Thanks Vista

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You are very welcome.
You know, as AG said having a very clear question in mind is important in terms of getting a good horary chart. I have done this myself and my horary charts end up not being very easy to read. I am sort of wondering if this reflects the VOC moon, that is your already knowing that you are done with the relationship? I know what you were doing as you were just looking for confirmation that you will be strong enough to stay away this time. Just a thought really. It certainly sounds like the right decision!