how to deal with astrology clients with no sense of awareness?

Hi all, hope everyone is doing well. I've very recently started taking on astrology clients and for the most part its been going really well, have had several great readings with good feedback and am excited to do more.

I had a client yesterday who put me into a bit of a spin however and i'm hoping that some of the consulting astologers on this board can help me out.

I clearly state in my intro to my services that i'm not a fortuneteller or psychic and that I focus on unearthing and unravelling the psychological factors in a chart, and do not do any form of concrete predictions. So I had this client email me with the standard "tell me about my family, work, children".. very vague but whatever, I prepared thoroughly and had a lot to talk about regarding those areas, however, they all related back to a t-square in her chart which contained neptune mercury venus jupiter conjunct in sag in the third, opposed saturn in gemini in the 9th, squaring mars in pisces in the 6th. So I focussed my analysis on this configuration and the implications of it, but when the time came to discuss this dynamic with her, i quickly realized that she has given away her saturn in gemini in a way, and wasnt consciously aware of it at all in her life.

I tried to steer conversation into the areas of the opposition in the tsquare, asking her about her religious and philosophical beliefs (to which she replied, i believe in a higher power and i say my prayers at night, fullstop), and asking about her educational experiences, hoping to lead her into opening up how this opposition is operating within her. but she was very evasive, vague and nonresponsive, and I began to sense her pretty much closing up on me.

she then proceeded to ask me such questions as, when will my divorce be finalized, when will i meet someone, what signs are good matches for me. I was a little taken aback as we had just spend the last half hour discussing her inner dynamics, and here she is asking me questions which i cannot and will not answer in the way she wants me to, in addition to the fact that i assumed she had read my preamble to my services and was aware that i dont do prediction. what this did signify to me was that she has indeed given away her own authority, her saturn, as she was looking for me to be an authority over her life.

i got the overwhelming impression during the reading that she has very little ability for self awareness (and indeed all she has in air is her libra asc and saturn in gemini) as initially she was agreeing with everything i said, but when i started talking about this t-square which is the crux of her chart, she went silent and then started replying with "not reallys" and then outright "no"s, leading into her kind of challenging my knowledge and ability by suggesting her own astrological ideas. i know this is a symptom of saturn in the 9th, but it was so unconscious on her part, even after i had discussed these exact things 5 minutes earlier, she didnt recognize it as part of herself.

so my whole dilemma with this is, how should i have dealt with this? how can I talk about having more harmonious relationships or being more fulfilled in career, when the only way to do so is to deal with this thing that the client is refusing to acknowledge as in themselves? how do you deal with a client who is very unaware of their own inner dynamics?

it is very clear to me that she really needs to acknowledge and bring into consciousness her saturn in gemini in the 9th because it is this that is standing in her way of actually learning anything that could help her grow - how do i communicate this to her effectively?

First milkyway girl,

congratulations on setting the parameters straight away. When I worked at psychic fairs, there was a good deal more potential for misunderstandings there about what astrology can and can't do.

It could be that this client, however, was feeling a little 'pushed' or pressurised. Maybe she does not seem to have much awareness by your standards, but I do think it is important to respect where each individual is 'at' to begin with.

Perhaps the question is, just how much psychological unravelling this client was expecting, but then, people with a lot of mutables are not always known for their consistency, not least in expectations.

Was there any one leadingquestion that might have upset her, do you think? Or was she resisting any sense of being pinned down?

Maybe have another look at bit later.

Interesting topic, I've just recently encountered the same thing. The only solution I found was to educate them up front, before the actual consultation.

I believe most of it has to do of what they think astrology is. I was shocked that so many people automatically associate it with something 'hocus pocus' / paranormal. They have basically no idea about the limitations or possibilities of astrology and they are stepping into a consultation with an idee fixe on how this is supposed to work which can be far from the truth. I found that, if you ignore this you're bound to be disappointed yourself about the consultation result - so it isn't very satisfying for the astrologer either.

It can be very hard to manage the expectations between client and astrologer. I always try to create an outline of what 'an answer is going to look like'. Or write them down in a few sentences what the limitations are. If they seem to understand, I will take them on. If not, I won't.

Hello Milkyway! This is indeed a very good question for all of us who start with consultations.
I do the same thing as Rasalhague. I tell them what astrology can and cannot do for them. If they want instant answers I refer them to a clairvoyant women I know already for years who reads cards and is very accurate. She and I exchange clients. When she feels that the person needs to know him or herself better, she gives them my card and when I think that the person really prefers an instant answer, I given them her card. I have done this with a medium as well but the problem there was that this medium would do it via the telephone, so the people whom she send to me, would call me also by phone first and would often spend a long time talking to me and that became a problem. Also after they had been to me, they would call me up for more info and I dont have a telephone set up in such a way that they pay me by calling, like that medium has. So I soon was sitting for long periods on the phone (I had difficulties telling them to come to me as they usually are a bit desperate). So I am not doing that anymore, only the women with the cards where they can go to personally. That works well.

start with the "no"s, to girl

girl,

You said:

when i started talking about this t-square which is the crux of her chart, she went silent and then started replying with "not reallys" and then outright "no"s, leading into her kind of challenging my knowledge and ability by suggesting her own astrological ideas...how should i have dealt with this? how can I talk about having more harmonious relationships or being more fulfilled in career, when the only way to do so is to deal with this thing that the client is refusing to acknowledge as in themselves? how do you deal with a client who is very unaware of their own inner dynamics?

Click to expand...

I think it is OK for a client to have "their own astrological ideas"...after all it is THEIR chart and THEIR life, so THEY know their own life much better than you. I think a trap an astrologer can easily fall into is thinking, "This client is here to see me and get my ideas and so I am going to tell them my ideas and they are going to sit there and listen and agree and learn something about themselves." When a client starts "pushing back" and saying "that doesn't really apply to me", the astrologer may get defensive and "dig in" with their own point of view. Then the client "digs in" and pretty soon astrology is "out the window" and the client is completely closed to the astrologer.

Instead, when a client starts "pushing back" and saying "that doesn't really apply to me", the astrologer can use this "client push back" as an opportunity to get the person to explain WHY they think "not really" and WHY they think "no" to your questions. And, since these are STRONGLY felt ideas in the client, the client will most likely be very eager to explain themselves and gradually the astrologer will get a sense of what is REALLY bothering the client and the TRUE meaning of their coming to the session.

The astrologer can also use this as an opportunity to get the person to open up on what they DO think about things with questions such as, "Tell me about your relationships: what worked and what hasn't?" or "How is your career going? How would you like it to go?" And, once they get a better idea of what the person wants and how they are going about getting it, they can suggest different ways of doing things, always "checking back in" with the client to see which ways work for them, which ways don't work, and why.

The goal of all this is to get some kind of conversation going between the astrologer and the client, where both the astrologer and the client learn something out of their time together.

Towards an interactive astrology,

Tim

Re: start with the "no"s, to girl

wilsontc said:

girl,

You said:


I think it is OK for a client to have "their own astrological ideas"...after all it is THEIR chart and THEIR life, so THEY know their own life much better than you.

Click to expand...

i dont think i phrased that properly, when i said she was suggesting her own astrological ideas it wasnt in reference to the issues around the t-square, she just began talking about how she was a "typical scorpio" and how her best match were taureans... i was just trying to illustrate how she began from that point on to reject my authority on the subject. but i understand what you're saying and totally agree.

wilsontc said:

I think a trap an astrologer can easily fall into is thinking, "This client is here to see me and get my ideas and so I am going to tell them my ideas and they are going to sit there and listen and agree and learn something about themselves." When a client starts "pushing back" and saying "that doesn't really apply to me", the astrologer may get defensive and "dig in" with their own point of view. Then the client "digs in" and pretty soon astrology is "out the window" and the client is completely closed to the astrologer.

Instead, when a client starts "pushing back" and saying "that doesn't really apply to me", the astrologer can use this "client push back" as an opportunity to get the person to explain WHY they think "not really" and WHY they think "no" to your questions. And, since these are STRONGLY felt ideas in the client, the client will most likely be very eager to explain themselves and gradually the astrologer will get a sense of what is REALLY bothering the client and the TRUE meaning of their coming to the session.

The astrologer can also use this as an opportunity to get the person to open up on what they DO think about things with questions such as, "Tell me about your relationships: what worked and what hasn't?" or "How is your career going? How would you like it to go?" And, once they get a better idea of what the person wants and how they are going about getting it, they can suggest different ways of doing things, always "checking back in" with the client to see which ways work for them, which ways don't work, and why.

The goal of all this is to get some kind of conversation going between the astrologer and the client, where both the astrologer and the client learn something out of their time together.

Towards an interactive astrology,

Tim

Click to expand...

great advice tim. i started out the session by stating that i like my consultations to be in more of a conversational format, and even after that, she was really not giving me much in terms of responses to my questions. it was quite difficult as even when she was agreeing with me, it would be with a chuckle or a "yes", but no input from her. with all my previous consults, the clients were more than willing to open up about themselves, ask questions, give examples etc, and the conversation flowed quite easily and i was quite comfortable in them and was able to continue my line of questioning. but with her, to be perfectly honest i got a little frazzled as she was not willing to discuss her life at all. i did ask her some more broad questions, and i got very short and vague answers and it was hard to come up with followup questions to them.

in retrospect i see that her perception of astrology is that it is some kind of "oracle of answers" and was basically looking for those answers and nothing more.

i am going to give your advice some thought, and next time i encounter someone like this, do as you said and broaden out the line of questioning, and if i get vague answers again, just keep on changing my line of inquiry until i get some kind of response. thanks!

People really do have unrealistic expectations, that's why i give loads of paperwork, explanations upfront, very basic stuff. When i do a natal chart it ends up over 40pages A4. So i ask them to take it away. read it, in small chunks..........then come back and talk with me. Then i will answer all questions.

If they want a transit forecast, I do the same, cos with my Uranus aspects dont have too much time or patience for clients that say, 'read my fortune' when will i meet my soul mate... types of questions.

Will PM you my prefaces, maybe you can adapt or use for your clients luv.

Sounds like your client had many planets below horizon which does give a limited viewpoint.
Planets below the equator = Subjective ‑ Inward looking ‑ Will want to talk about themselves quite a lot or even exclusively.
Very subjective personality; reflective and will have an introverted viewpoint. Needs to seek personal meaning in their lives first and foremost! Will not feel comfortable dealing with continuous worldly affairs that call for direct public exposure or overt social involvement. Detachment does not come easy for such a person. They can on occasion choose to withdraw or turn away from active participation in the world in favour of safe haven and retreat!

astrologer50 said:

People really do have unrealistic expectations, that's why i give loads of paperwork, explanations upfront, very basic stuff. When i do a natal chart it ends up over 40pages A4. So i ask them to take it away. read it, in small chunks..........then come back and talk with me. Then i will answer all questions.

If they want a transit forecast, I do the same, cos with my Uranus aspects dont have too much time or patience for clients that say, 'read my fortune' when will i meet my soul mate... types of questions.

Will PM you my prefaces, maybe you can adapt or use for your clients luv.

Sounds like your client had many planets below horizon which does give a limited viewpoint.
Planets below the equator = Subjective ‑ Inward looking ‑ Will want to talk about themselves quite a lot or even exclusively.
Very subjective personality; reflective and will have an introverted viewpoint. Needs to seek personal meaning in their lives first and foremost! Will not feel comfortable dealing with continuous worldly affairs that call for direct public exposure or overt social involvement. Detachment does not come easy for such a person. They can on occasion choose to withdraw or turn away from active participation in the world in favour of safe haven and retreat!

Click to expand...

hey i got your info in pm, thanks a lot i appreciate that! thanks to all who responded to this thread. your info was all very helpful!

All the best!
MWG