Natal chart predicting parental influence?

holly

Well-known member
This is going to have a similar theme to the "Birth Chart vs Environment" thread but different enough to warrant a seperate thread, I hope. I'm asking two things, one about home environment affecting personality, and the other about the natal chart predicting childhood circumstances.

Firstly, my family, being naturally suspicious of astrology, ask me lots of questions as to how and why astrology works. Most of the time I can sprout off enough information and complicated terms to keep them quiet! But one thing they ask that I haven’t been able to explain is the question of wether personalities can be explained by upbringing/parents/home environment INSTEAD of the natal chart.

As I’m not very good at explaining myself, I’ll use an example.

My dad is a Cancer Sun but you wouldn’t guess it. He is not nurturing, warm or caring. He doesn’t show any affection, can be quite insulting and cold, etc. He didn’t want to have us kids, so you can imagine that all of our lives he was emotionally and often times physically “absent.”

As the astrologer, I explain this through his birth chart. I see aspects and planetary positions in there that account for this.

My family, explain this through my dad’s upbringing. He was abused as a child and neglected by both parents. They never showed him warmth or love. These circumstances can explain why he has been “damaged” and why he doesn’t experience love. He was never shown love himself, so how can he show warmth, love and affection to me?

My family thinks that if he had of had a different upbringing, he would have turned out to be a different person. I try to explain that our natal energies are always with us regardless of environmental factors. A Cancerian is still a Cancerian, wether his parents were good to him or not.

Still, I don’t think I really understand the explanation for this. What explains a person’s personality: their upbringing, or their natal chart? If my dad had been raised in better circumstances, would that in turn negate the “hard” or “negative” aspects in his chart? I’m confused!

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Secondly,

Still on the subject of my dad, one aspect I found intriguing, is Saturn Square Sun. Apparantly this aspect can be indicative of problems with parents.

“…conflicts with parents (especially your father) or with authority figures have left you feeling defeated and psychologically wounded. Your efforts at self-expression and communication of feelings were dismissed and ignored” (http://www.astrologyweekly.com)

I’m not disputing this statement, it’s obviously true as my dad’s early childhood was certainly like that. What I don’t understand, is how the natal chart can appear to predict the future of a newborn like this. What is confusing me, is that the natal chart is created at the moment of birth, long BEFORE dad’s father had a chance to be abusive and oppressive. What if dad’s father had turned out to be loving and kind, how would a person then explain the Saturn Square Sun aspect in dad’s natal chart?

Say a baby is born and you look at his chart. You see Saturn Square Sun and immediately think that this child is going to have issues with his father. Then as you watch the child grow, you see that his father is abusive or authoritarian. It is just as the natal chart had “predicted.”

I always viewed the natal chart as a collection of energies within us, and we had control over how we use those energies. That musn’t be so if the natal chart can tell you so definitely how your parents are going to treat you and what kind of childhood you are going to have!

Am I explaining myself well? Just because my dad was born with Sun Square Saturn, how did that make his father hate him and abuse him? How does the natal chart influence the behaviour of someone OTHER than the native?

I know I’ve asked a lot, so if anyone has some spare time to explain all of this to me, I’d really love to straighten this all out in my mind. I’m so confused!
 

freedomlover

Well-known member
For a very brief summation:

We and our Divine Guidance plan our charts before each incarnation, according to the karmic lessons we need to learn, people we have karma with, skills we want to develop, goals we want to achieve, etc.

It is true that if your father had been born into a different family, he would have been different, but then he would have had a different chart. He needed to have that particular family and that particular chart to set up the circumstances needed to fulfill the agreed upon plan.

And you're saying? His plan is to live lonely and unloved????!!!!!! NO! His plan is to LEARN to connect with others and receive love. This is where free will comes in and why people like him need an extra special dose of compassion and prayers to give him all the help he needs to learn this lesson. I don't know where your dad is spiritually, but he desperately needs to seek inner peace and start doing some serious forgiveness. Yes, he had this done to him, BUT he can choose to not do it to himself and not do it to others. This is where he will get his freedom from the old wounds and find happiness.

Back to astrology.... I once read about how we are "magnetized" with the energies of our charts at the moment of birth. This works to "set the chart in motion", so to speak. We are magnetized throughout life with the energies of the ongoing planetary aspects, as well. These help give us opportunities for change. This kind of information is probably published in several different resources. But I believe the place I read it was on the KRYON internet site. Arian Maverick is pretty familiar with this, and maybe some others. Maybe someone recalls this particular message and can help you locate it. I don't think I recall what the title was.

Hope this helps.
 

astrobhadauria

Well-known member
Dear,
There are 7 main Stars and 12 house in the chart,if we calculate the full chart,then there are 84,parts of the life,and every part make extra works in the life.Count there are 8400000 natures in the world,then nobody can describe,each part.
 

Arian Maverick

Well-known member
What a wonderful thread! :)

I do not have time to respond with my own experience of a Saturn/Neptune square Sun aspect, yet I would like to provide a link to the thread freedomlover referred to in her post:

Back to astrology.... I once read about how we are "magnetized" with the energies of our charts at the moment of birth. This works to "set the chart in motion", so to speak. We are magnetized throughout life with the energies of the ongoing planetary aspects, as well. These help give us opportunities for change. This kind of information is probably published in several different resources. But I believe the place I read it was on the KRYON internet site. Arian Maverick is pretty familiar with this, and maybe some others. Maybe someone recalls this particular message and can help you locate it. I don't think I recall what the title was.

Kryon Astrology Channelings

Arian Maverick
 

Sisi

Member
Hi Holly,
Briefly - your dad's Sun Saturn configuration is not the only point of expression in his chart. What about his natal Moon? Mercury? Does he utilise the other points in his chart? Does he find expression through Venus? Any planets in the 12th?

Good to bring up questions like these!!

love
Sisi xx
 

holly

Well-known member
Freedomlover,

I am happy with that explanation, as I do believe in reincarnation. If in fact it is all planned out before our birth and we are given the chart we need to succeed in whatever our duties are, it does not allow a person to view their chart as something thrust upon them unwillingly.

I do seem to view natal charts as a curse more than a blessing, not only with my dad's but with my own too. I feel sorry for him, and feel badly that he was cursed in this lifetime with aspects such as those hard aspects to the sun. How can a person have a good life when they have such a bad chart?

I feel sorry for myself too, and wonder what I did in past incarnations to warrant a natal chart with such heavy, depressing energy, and energy that sets me up for isolation.

If everything is chosen beforehand, there simply cannot be room for this "victim" way of thinking. I may not understand why we have these particular charts, but you are telling me there is a very good spiritual reason.

freedomlover said:
"I don't know where your dad is spiritually, but he desperately needs to seek inner peace and start doing some serious forgiveness."
My dad is neither spiritual, introspective or emotional.

freedomlover said:
...why people like him need an extra special dose of compassion and prayers to give him all the help he needs to learn this lesson.
When I first read this I was a bit upset by it, because I think he has had all the compassion and forgiveness I can give, and it still wasn't enough.

Does that mean he failed his karmic life lessons, or I failed mine?

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Arian Maverick,
Arian Maverick said:
I do not have time to respond with my own experience of a Saturn/Neptune square Sun aspect, yet I would like to provide a link to the thread freedomlover referred to in her post:
I wish you did, Arian Maverick, as I would be very interested in seeing another person's experience of this aspect. Thanks for that link, it's very interesting.

--------------------

Sisi,
Sisi said:
Briefly - your dad's Sun Saturn configuration is not the only point of expression in his chart. What about his natal Moon? Mercury? Does he utilise the other points in his chart? Does he find expression through Venus? Any planets in the 12th?
That's true, it's not the only point of expression, but it's one of a few that together explain his character, in my eyes. Of course, I can only say how I know my dad from MY point of view. Perhaps my existing opinion of him blinded me to aspects/placements that contadicted my judgement. I may be at a point in my life where I am tired of him, and simply cannot see the "good" in him anymore. Which is very sad, but I think it's important to acknowledge my bias when I look at his chart! Does that make sense?

Sisi said:
"Does he utilise the other points in his chart?"
He has a Virgo moon, which I don't find to give him many negative qualities. The constant criticism and the fact I will never live up to his standards are the only things I attribute to that Virgo moon.

His Leo Mercury gives him a certain arrogance in the way he communicates. He likes to show off his strong, controversial opinions, and wants everybody to bow to his intellectual superiority. He can be authoritarian in the way he speaks when he is trying to convince you that he knows everything. These qualities may be desirable in say, a political leader, but this is just my dad at the dinner table!

Mars conjunct Sun - I feel as if the Cancer Sun never had a chance to be loving and kind, with it's Square to Saturn AND Conjunction with Mars.

The most disappointing thing about my dad, is his inability to empathise or acknowledge emotions. He doesn't understand what it's like to just have a bad day. One time, I was stood up by a friend, and being an emotional teenager at the time, I cried. His reaction was to lecture me about the starving children in Africa, and how there are far worse tragedies in the world. He was right, of course, but sometimes you just want someone to embrace you in moments like those, not berate you for being emotional.

So to answer your question, no I don't see him utilising any other aspects in his chart. I only know him through these configurations I mentioned, and he only "uses his powers for evil, not good!" :)

To be fair, he has a Libra Ascendant, which I suppose makes him charming and sociable with aquaintances. I have seen that side of him, as an observer, once or twice.

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Pixiequix,

I think what that quote is getting at is that astrology does not concern itself with how or why things happens, just that it happens. We don't know why an aspect in a chart makes a person behave a certain way, or how the natal chart appears to already know how a person's life is going to turn out...but as astrologers we have observed the patterns and accept it just works. Is that correct?
 

Kaiousei no Senshi

Premium Member
Did you perhaps check his transits throughout his childhood? His progressions now or then? These could be tools to unlock just what happened and when. While I realize this isn't the main topic of the thread, I thought it would be interesting nonetheless. The natal chart may stay forever, but transits and progressions seem to be able to add on new chapters to one's life. So while he may have started out as a sweet, caring, nuturing little boy, the transits and progressions he experienced in his early childhood could have been enough to pervert his Cancer placement.
 

freedomlover

Well-known member
Holly,

Wow! Have I been in your shoes!!! (And if the truth be known, I think reading your post revealed I'm still wearing them.) Your dad sounds almost exactly like my ex-husband -- only he doesn't have the excuse of an abusive family. His family was pretty loving, all things considered. Dad was a bit harsh at times, but the Mom was great. Good supportive extended family. Don't know why he is the way he is. I guess it just goes to show that we all have free will, and no matter how much love we are given, it doesn't do any good if we choose not to receive it. But I digress.......

Quote:
Originally Posted by freedomlover
"I don't know where your dad is spiritually, but he desperately needs to seek inner peace and start doing some serious forgiveness."

My dad is neither spiritual, introspective or emotional.

Quote:
Originally Posted by freedomlover
...why people like him need an extra special dose of compassion and prayers to give him all the help he needs to learn this lesson.

When I first read this I was a bit upset by it, because I think he has had all the compassion and forgiveness I can give, and it still wasn't enough.

Does that mean he failed his karmic life lessons, or I failed mine?
To me, the fact that this statement triggered negative emotion with you would imply that you feel that you have "give out", so to speak. I know that feeling well: You've given all you know, did everything you knew to do, and still no change. This if where acceptance comes in.

You said your dad is "Neither spiritual, introspective, or emotional". It looks like the ball is in his court. Not to be cliche, but the old joke here applies: "How many psychiatrists does it take to change a burned-out lightbulb?" Answer: "Only one, BUT the light bulb has to really WANT to change." If you've truly prayed till you don't know what to pray, then I have only one suggestion concerning him (If you haven't already done this one.): The only thing I see left to do is to pray that his will - his desire - be healed. He needs a wake-up call that will give him the incentive to want to change.

As far as yourself, it would seem that you just need to ask to be brought into a place of peace and acceptance. If we are too busy worrying and feeling responsible, etc, the negative energy involved can actually hinder positive change in the relationship. If you've "cleared the slate" on your end, and are accepting and peaceful, it will "give the Spirit room to work". Who knows? You've tried everything else. And at least YOU will have peace.

You might want to consider posting your dad's chart, and maybe your and his synastry chart. I'm sure there many folks on the forum who would like to see you have some resolution. The charts may possibly be helpful.

(((((HUGS)))))
 

holly

Well-known member
Thank you Freedomlover, for your advice on this matter. I have given this some more thought and I think part of my frustration with him also lies within myself. I have never been able to stand up to him and speak my mind. I'd like to be able to give my opinion, defend myself, or offer an alternate view on something he's said, but I don't have the courage when it comes to my dad. I don't know why I'm so "afraid" of him in that regard.

So part of the reason I am starting to dislike my dad more and more, could be me disliking myself for being so spineless around him. I hate the way I always submit, I never stand up. Maybe that is something I can learn from interacting with my dad - part of MY life lessons - that I'm simply NOT doing. It's time for me to get a backbone, and perhaps by doing so, I can help us both - me by being more confident, and him by hearing a more positive view point on the parts of his life he finds so negative.


Anyway, I always jump at the chance to have someone look at my chart. It's one of the best ways to learn, I think! But as much as it kills me, I have to admit that my dad's time of birth may not be accurate. There is a chance it could be early by a couple of hours. That doesn't change the planets in signs or aspects, but in Synastry it might make a big difference? My birth time is definately accurate.

I will post both charts and if anyone would like to take a look, that would be great! :)
 
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freedomlover

Well-known member
Holly,

You have discovered a very important truth about human nature. That is how we give our "authority figures" power over us. We don't stand up and speak our truth, and then begin resenting them. It's one of the main things contributing to what's wrong on this planet. So, whatever and however you can work on your little piece of the planet..... ;) This might be the very thing that brings you some peace. Did you ever hear the phrase "speak your peace"? Sometimes what's left unsaid is what is tearing us apart. Speaking it restores your peace. I'm actually in the same learning boat with you, Holly. I'm at the "beginning to speak up for myself more" stage myself. It's a process.... kinda like bodybuilding - the more you work the muscles the stronger you get. So, work your "backbone" muscle. :confused: :eek: :p


Actually, I started to say something along those lines in the last post, but I didn't know if you'd already tried that route, so I just suggested coming to a place of peace. It sounds like you are finding the road to that place quite nicely.

Hopefully you'll get some new insights off of the charts.
 

Belgianmoonguy

Well-known member
The not wanting kids part i can see...
Aqua on 5... normally a barren sign...
But ruler 5 on the Mc... The not wanting kids part was visible in his life, but because Uranus is unpredictable, he was confronted with it, no matter what
Interesting is that you are an Aqua Sun.
Are you his only child or first child?

If we look at old ruler of Aqua, Saturn, he squares Sun & Mars in Cancer... So he is restricted (Saturn) in expressing his Cancer energies in a rather hard way (square). He is restricted in expressing his self (Sun) & energy (Mars). As Saturn rules his 4th house, this was also the deal in his familial upbringing... And as Cheiron occupies his Ic, he was wounded at home

Not all Cancer want children also... I don't want children, but it can change over time off course...

The NN of your dad is on your Sun... And your Nodal ax squares his Pluto...

I have a dad with kind of same history (funny enough, also libra rising (12°), cap Ic, and he's not so far away born from your dad (Belgium) so they have approximately same house cusps))

But he overcompensated... Where his parents (his dad was a drunk, his mother was more interested in God then in 5 of her 6 children (the oldest brother of my dad was the only child my paternal grandmother was interested in) weren't interested in him, he is very interested in me and supports me where he can emotionally and mentally
My dad has a 4th house Capricorn Moon
As he describes his familial situation, i can agree this is an accurate astrological configuration

And if he or you failed in your karmic task?
Don't use such heavy words dear
You're only 22 (happy bday for in a week or 2) and he's only 53... There can be changes ahead
You never know

Take Care
 

holly

Well-known member
Freedomlover,

When I said I’d tried everything to help my dad, I think now that I was being a bit narrow minded. I tried everything to change HIM, without thinking that the solution may lie in changing myself. That’s why I normally like to ponder over replies for a while before I come back and answer. It gives me time to actually listen.

freedomlover said:
the negative energy involved can actually hinder positive change in the relationship
That’s what made me think about exactly what I was contributing to the situation and made me examine my end of things a little bit more.

As for speaking up for myself more, well, I think that’s a whole life change – not just a thing with my dad.

Do you think Mars has anything to do with being self-assertive? As my Mars is in a water sign, I assume that is where my problem comes from.

freedomlover said:
I'm at the "beginning to speak up for myself more" stage myself.
How's it going for you?
-----

Belgianmoonguy,

I’m the eldest of two. My brother is an Aries. Can you explain to me why you find that interesting? Does it mean something that I’m an Aquarius?

Belgianmoonguy said:
The NN of your dad is on your Sun... And your Nodal ax squares his Pluto...
Can you explain to me what this means? Is this significant?

Thanks for sharing about your dad. I guess we all have choices. Your dad made the choice to support you emotionally/mentally, where mine vowed to always support us financially/materially. That's great, but sometimes you do want the emotional connection. And actually, it’s nice to know your dad has a Capricorn Moon – so do I, and I’m afraid that it will make me a bad mother. But it sounds like your dad did an alright job!

Thank you :) Yes, I can be far too serious at times. Oh and thanks for looking at the charts - much appreciated!!
 

Belgianmoonguy

Well-known member
holly said:
Freedomlover,

When I said I’d tried everything to help my dad, I think now that I was being a bit narrow minded. I tried everything to change HIM, without thinking that the solution may lie in changing myself. That’s why I normally like to ponder over replies for a while before I come back and answer. It gives me time to actually listen.

That’s what made me think about exactly what I was contributing to the situation and made me examine my end of things a little bit more.

As for speaking up for myself more, well, I think that’s a whole life change – not just a thing with my dad.

Do you think Mars has anything to do with being self-assertive? As my Mars is in a water sign, I assume that is where my problem comes from.

How's it going for you?
-----

Belgianmoonguy,

I’m the eldest of two. My brother is an Aries. Can you explain to me why you find that interesting? Does it mean something that I’m an Aquarius?


Can you explain to me what this means? Is this significant?

Thanks for sharing about your dad. I guess we all have choices. Your dad made the choice to support you emotionally/mentally, where mine vowed to always support us financially/materially. That's great, but sometimes you do want the emotional connection. And actually, it’s nice to know your dad has a Capricorn Moon – so do I, and I’m afraid that it will make me a bad mother. But it sounds like your dad did an alright job!

Thank you :) Yes, I can be far too serious at times. Oh and thanks for looking at the charts - much appreciated!!

The NN or yr dad is on yr Sun
Well Sun is the ruler of your 2nd house cusp
Finances... for example is a 2nd house theme
So may be it's one of his destinies to support you financially :D
just thought of it for now

Well, i would want my dad to be a bit more generous with finances
But i'm one of those i'll never have enough persons...
 

holly

Well-known member
Belgianmoonguy said:
The NN or yr dad is on yr Sun
Well Sun is the ruler of your 2nd house cusp
Finances... for example is a 2nd house theme
So may be it's one of his destinies to support you financially :D
just thought of it for now

Well, i would want my dad to be a bit more generous with finances
But i'm one of those i'll never have enough persons...

Hehe, enough with the karma/destinies business, I don't WANT to be karmically tied to this man! :p But seriously, that's a good explanation, very uh, practical, but makes sense! We never went without anything - food, clothes, shelter, school books, you name it. He provided well for the family. :)
 

Belgianmoonguy

Well-known member
And btw
Aries on his 7th...

You're his 1st child... Aquarius on 5
You Aquarius Sun

He's his 2nd... Aries on 7th...
Your brother is an Aries Sun

How much more typical can it get...

And I understand
Who wants karmic ties anyway?
 

business voodoo

Well-known member
just a quick note ... i'm a bit older than you 39 now ... and i spent my mid-30s going through the parent questioning ... mostly after i had my own daughter and became a mom. you will get to the other side of this struggle and be a stronger individual for it ...

i note in your charts that your NN is in your 11th house and his is in aquarius. you may want to look at that aspect of your life, because the 11th house is about individualization and as that individualization becomes integrated in the 'oneness' of everything. wanting the perfect family ... or at least a functional one ... is part of finding out who you are as an individual. what you need to be supported, feel loved, experience freedom. we look first to our family and parent support systems to provide those things, but ultimately, we can only find the "true way" to provide those things within ourselves.

the neptune/saturn conjunction he lives with is an internal challenge that he sees playing out on the 'big screen' of our global scene. to get into how that plays out with him, reconciling his parental experience would be optimum, but just viewing it from your perspective, you can likely see how his parental experience has created the glasses with which he sees the world around him.

i would be curious to know how old he was when he did the move from england to australia ... that's quite a relocation. my parents did the euro-america move when they were adolescents/young teenagers and i still think they have not quite recovered from that!
 

holly

Well-known member
business voodoo said:
just a quick note ... i'm a bit older than you 39 now ... and i spent my mid-30s going through the parent questioning ... mostly after i had my own daughter and became a mom. you will get to the other side of this struggle and be a stronger individual for it ...
I think what I’m going through is part of the natural process of growing up. As part of becoming an adult, I look at who my mum and dad are, and start to see them as people, not just “mum and dad”. I look back at how they raised me and can now make choices as to how I will some day raise my children. It's the typical case of not wanting to turn out like your parents!

business voodoo said:
i note in your charts that your NN is in your 11th house and his is in aquarius. you may want to look at that aspect of your life, because the 11th house is about individualization and as that individualization becomes integrated in the 'oneness' of everything. wanting the perfect family ... or at least a functional one ... is part of finding out who you are as an individual. what you need to be supported, feel loved, experience freedom. we look first to our family and parent support systems to provide those things, but ultimately, we can only find the "true way" to provide those things within ourselves.
I never understood my NN as my knowledge of the 11th was limited to "groups" and I just couldn't get how the two related. But you have a unique way of describing the 11th house.

What you said certainly describes how I feel now. I think, growing up an introvert, I relied on my family to provide me with the social and emotional experiences I desired in my life. As my parents and I are very different, the life they supplied me wasn’t ever going to live up to my expectations. So now, as an adult myself, it’s time I constructed my own experiences. For instance I value family connections much more than they do, so now I call my relatives and invite them over – something my parents rarely did.


business voodoo said:
the neptune/saturn conjunction he lives with is an internal challenge that he sees playing out on the 'big screen' of our global scene. to get into how that plays out with him, reconciling his parental experience would be optimum, but just viewing it from your perspective, you can likely see how his parental experience has created the glasses with which he sees the world around him.
He sees the world as very cold and unjust. I’m sure that could stem from his upbringing. He does seem so personally involved in world affairs and I never understood WHY he got so worked up about it. You can almost see the anger bubbling inside of him while he watches the 6 o'clock news. Maybe that is his only outwardly expression of what is happening within him.

business voodoo said:
i would be curious to know how old he was when he did the move from england to australia ... that's quite a relocation. my parents did the euro-america move when they were adolescents/young teenagers and i still think they have not quite recovered from that!
I believe he was 11 or 12 years old. He hated moving here and very much felt like he came here against his will. He has fond memories of England, but I doubt England is still as he remembers it. A lot can change in 40 odd years.

Thanks for taking a look, and the encouragement. :)
 
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