Can anybody help me understand why I am stuck?

Please help! I'm stuck!

I have been studying astrology for several years. I am very familiar with the meanings of the signs and houses, but not so with the aspects. I have been in a stuck place in my life for several years. During this time I have lost my home, all of my income, my health, and nearly my mind. I have been very introspective about this, and have come to some understanding, but I can't seem to make any progress in a new direction. I do feel it has to do with self-expression, but am not sure of what the roots are. Can anybody help me understand what could be my "sticking point" ? I would be glad to post my chart, but am unsure of how to do it. I was born in Charleston, WV USA at 9:32am EST on 11-28-65. I'm of the understanding that I am a Sag w/ Aquarius moon, and a Capricorn ascendant.
I would appreciate any insight you all may have.
Also, I asked the question at 4:10pm EST on 7-29-06 at 80W51, 38N17.
I may not be posting this in the right place, or combining categories, but please bear with me. I'm new.

sticking point, to lover

lover,

You have Capricorn (duty) modifying a least aspected (strong energy) Mars (being, also action) conjunct Ascendant (self) and an unaspected (strong energy) Jupiter (expansion, also wisdom) conjunct the Descendant (others). The result is you don't "connect in" to learning and have a challenge in "connecting in" to actions. As a result, you work at trying to learn (Jupiter) from others (Descendant) what you shuould (Capricorn) do (Mars), but, since you don't connect in to either learning or action...nothing happens. The challenge is to take actions when you NEED to take actions. For example, if things are getting to the point where you are about to lose your health, income, home, or mind, you need to DO something to make things better for YOU. Once you start working at DOING something, WHAT it is you need to do will made clearer by the events around you.

In addition, you have Sun (self-expression) conjunct South node (the past) focused in the 11th house (friends, also rebellion), so focusing on being "freedom loving" holds you back in life. The more you use your self-expression to rebel, the more held back you become. Instead, of focusing on rebellion, focus on expressing yourself (North node (future goals) focused in the 5th house (self-expression) ). This is NOT rebelling against something you're NOT, but expressing who you ARE. A focus on self-expression can come out through hobbies, performing arts, your creativity, etc. Expressing yourself INSTEAD of rebelling or being "free" will help you to move forward in life.

Self-expressively,

Tim

Re: sticking point, to lover

Tim,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. You get right to the point, don't you? LOL. I'll say that you summed up in two paragraphs what it took me YEARS of introspection to realize. Wish I had found you years ago - would have saved me a lot of grief. I guess sometimes we gotta learn the hard way, huh? However, I was not an outright "rebel", as it may look in the chart. It was much more subconscious, and therefore, much more difficult to detect. I'm also trying to understand what the subconscious block is on my self-expression. It seems to take the form of a lack of originality and imagination.

Much of the downhill slide was in the form of gradually increasing mental, emotional, and physical illness, accompanied by compounding outside factors that I had no control over. I DID try to make changes in some new directions, but always hit a brick wall. Finally, I've come to the place I am now. As I said, I have gradually realized the problem you described, and have been trying to get throught it. Currently, I am without an income or a home of my own, physically ill, and trying desperately to "move the energy". I know I am in a whirlpool of inertia that feels like it is going to suck me under. However, at this point, there doesn't seem to be much on the physical plane I can do - very poor health and no finances.

So, to reiterate my question, is there anything in my chart that would point to the way out of this stuck place? I know the issues behind it, I just feel at a loss to get out of this hole I am in. Maybe this is more of a horary question? I am pretty uneducated in that part of astrology, although very interested and trying to learn. Maybe I should repost under that topic? Also, is it possible to see if a "window of opportunity" lies ahead in the near future? I guess this is "predictive astrology". I'm just looking for a ray of hope to cling to.

Much gratitude,

freedomlover

p.s. I happened to notice the wording on my question. You did answer my question of "Why".
LOL. My mistake - I didn't express what I really wanted to say. I would edit the post to reflect my true re-worded question, but am fairly "forum illiterate". Thanks to all for bearing with me.

Freedomlover,

As someone with very little in the way of 2H/8H focus, or experiences (and also resident in a country with at least a reasonable welfare system!!) I wish I could offer something to help you find your own way out, but I can't think of what it could be. 2H/8H just isn't my area of expertise

Just from the way you write, you seem articulate, self-aware and quite positive in approach. You seem open to the idea of new avenues, and have listed some of your 'latent' talents (elsewhere) which you could develop long term. However, you sound like you need a more immediate way to change your circumstances. What is it that you can do, what options do you have right now? I can't think of any brilliant way to help other than to ask more questions, though wish I could!!

Do let us know what changes for you....

Ps - What do you think about your T square: Chiron Rx in Pisces 2H/Mercury Rx in Saggie 12H/ and Pluto+Uranus in Virgo 8H ?

I'm not surprised you were a court advocate for domestic violence victims! All that Neptunishness and Plutoishness. I could see you as some sort of counselor and advocate for the disadvantaged in society Especially with Saturn in 2H too - material security as something you are concerned with.

The Chiron/Pluto+Uranus opposition certainly suggests disruption, challenge and transformation around material security. The fact that Chiron is there, although you talk more about Saturn, signifies that this may be an ongoing issue for you, and hopefully, something you can become somewhat of an 'authority' in, or even help others to manage. Why do you think your insurance business went down the tubes?

Just throwing ideas out there, incase something catches for you

getting unstuck, to lover

lover,

You asked:

...is there anything in my chart that would point to the way out of this stuck place?

Click to expand...

And previously I replied:

Once you start working at DOING something, WHAT it is you need to do will made clearer by the events around you...Expressing yourself INSTEAD of rebelling or being "free" will help you to move forward in life...

Click to expand...

I think you may be getting caught in the "Jupiter trap" of feeling you need to figure out everything before you can DO anything. Instead, start working at doing something to help yourself save your resources. Collect money, pay off any debts you have, be responsible in all money issues going forward, take CONTROL of the situation as best you can.

This seems to be all about doing something instead of waiting to find out the perfect action. When you hit a "brick wall" find a way around it. After all, brick walls DO have a definite width and height. If you can't get over it, then you go around it. It may take a LONG time to get around the wall, but by making the effort, you will improve your attitude, your mind, and your well-being.

By transits (planets in the sky) there is a lot of VERY challenging energy around you. But by working your way through this challenging time and learning its lessons, you develop power and strength for the future.

Best wishes in your self-transformation,

Tim

To Howl:

How very astute of you to see all of that about material security! Yes, you are exactly right, and I have had dreams, and been given prophecies and tarot card readings from others, etc, that I would be doing something like what you have described -- and that is why I'm going through this. You know they say you can't really understand something until you've been through it. However, that is sometime in the future. And as you pointed out, I need something to do NOW. Thanks for the input.


To Tim,

I think you are seeing the basic circumstances of my life pretty well in my chart, and yes it is very challenging energy, especially with the transits. However, I do not think you are understanding what I am doing in response. Let me remind you of the quote from my original post of this question

"I DID try to make changes in some new directions, but always hit a brick wall. Finally, I've come to the place I am now. As I said, I have gradually realized the problem you described, and have been trying to get throught it. Currently, I am without an income or a home of my own, physically ill, and trying desperately to "move the energy". I know I am in a whirlpool of inertia that feels like it is going to suck me under. However, at this point, there doesn't seem to be much on the physical plane I can do - very poor health and no finances." (And when I say "no finances", I'm not exaggerating, really. I have about $22 a month that comes to me in the way of income. Other than that, whatever crumbs the Universe throws me.)

Apparently, you are seeing something in my chart that says "DO", and that is why you keep stressing this. I'm not disagreeing, it's just that I don't know what else to "DO" - and my opportunities are virtually nil.

My illness is not just "tired", but I literally can hardly function. Sometimes my legs even go out, and I need assistance walking, standing up, etc. This whole ordeal has gone on for so long with no letup that I have also become severely depressed from a lack of hope, hence my asking this question saying I was looking for a ray of hope. Somehow all of this also manifested as a heavy brain fog so dense that I felt "retarded". I literally was having a hard time forming sentences a few months ago.

My response to all of this has been to seize whatever inkling of opportunity I could find. When I realized how bad my brain was getting, I started trying to link with others for communication on the computer, Myspace, various forums, etc., in an effort to not let the brain fog take me under, which I felt it was doing. This helped to a large degree, but I still suffer from it. You all don't know what a forced, focused effort it is to get some of these posts out! I do have natural talent with words, but it is like "pulling teeth" sometimes to get them out - again the block on self-expresssion.

There is a small mission here in town that distributes clothing, etc. I woulld like to volunteer there, but my legs won't hold me up for more than maybe 30 minutes or an hour, then I have to collapse for a while. But I have been desperately trying to "be a part" of the whole somehow. I have felt like there was nothing I could give. That is actually how I found my way to this forum. I had scanned the site from time to time for the last year, but a week or so ago, I woke up with the "knowing" that I was to take part in the forum. It was a real leap of faith for me, as I still have problems with self-expression, especially with my spiritual beliefs. I have taken a WHOLE lot of flak from society in general, including most of my friends for my spiritual beliefs. It's still pretty much the "dark ages" here.LOL. Anyway, I'm a big believer that if you give out whatever you have been given, you take part in the "bigger picture", so I have made my best effort to give some of the wisdom I have learned, astrologically-speaking, and otherwise. But this is a gift to the Universe, so to speak. And, so far, my financial/health situation has not changed.

Did any of you ever see the movie "The Shawshank Redemption"? In the movie, Tim Robbins' character is imprisoned unjustly, and spends 19 years tunneling his way out of prison with a teeny-tiny rockpick of some sort. It was a Herculean task of epic proportions, and the prison guards gladly let him have it because they thought there was no way he'd ever use that to escape. But they didn't count on him being persistent enough to keep at it for 19 years. And he escaped at the end.

That movie has kept me going, for that is how I see myself. I am doing all I can do with all I have to work with every day, but after many years of digging, I am still in prison, and it sure looks like it isn't going to do any good. But somehow, I feel that if I just don't give up, my day will come. (I guess this is my Capricorn stellium in the first house? LOL)

I am seriously considering posting a horary question about any opportunity arising in the very near future. Would this maybe shed some light on what I'm looking for? No?

Thank you Tim, Howl, and all others who have shown their concern and offered their help.

xxx ooo

Hey Freedom, I posted a reply to your wealth post. I totally agree with what Tim just said. I also think 2nd 8th house people can be consumed with a feeling of inertia at times even if they have a lot cardinal energy in their chart. The only way to transform 2nd 8th house issues is to start asking probing questions ( usually us 8th and 2nders have to have our back against a wall in the form of a crisis before we start asking how we got there) and taking firm concrets actions. Make a plan and get proactive. This will help those stuck areas begin to grow. Here's an idea. Pick up tin cans on the side of the road and sell them for money. Take that money and go to yard sales and buy things cheaply and then sell them on ebay. This may seem out there, but you've got to do what you got to do. You may have to move slowly because of your health, but you can dig your way out of this. If your 8th and 2nd house are loaded then you inner rescources just waiting for you to tap into them. Lilllybelle

lilllybelle,

Thanks for the input. But I think our posts posted about the same time. I do not think you would have written some of what you wrote if you had read the post I just made. I will look up your post on the Wealth thread. I just got online for the day.

thanks!!!!!!

FreedomLover, I hadn't read your last post when I made my post. I think we might of been posting at the same time. Please excuse me if I came across as insensitive. Lilllybelle

lilllybelle,

I assumed that's what happened, as the posts seemed to appear at the same time. And, after reading your wealth thread post, I know that you are definitely not insensitive. I replied to you there, if you'd like to read.

Thanks for all of your help!!!!

Also, I liked the idea you had about possibly delving into the past, when things started to come apart, and checking the transits. I just don't know how to do that.


xxx oooo