Losing Friends

Something that has been perplexing me is that throughout this year, friends that I have had for a long time have been falling away. At first it absolutely did hurt because I do not believe I had done anything wrong except following my intuition in life, but then I started to notice a pattern and wondered if anything in my chart shows that ? Saturn is about to leave Sagittarius and it has been a tough time, but this last year has been incredibly challenging on so many fronts. I've attached my natal chart with the transits on the outside. Any thoughts ? Thanks so much !

Your friends are an 11th house matter.

With transiting Chiron hitting your 11th house, some of these friendship losses probably hurt, so please stay open to your feelings and don't try to wall them off, because Chiron's pay-off is wisdom and compassion. Neptune starting to enter your 11th house may accelerate your feelings that what you thought was real was never real to begin with. Natally moon square Neptune can lead to beautiful illusions followed by bitter disillusionment.

I don't know what sort of intuition you are following, but with the moon in independent Aries, it looks like friends are very important to you-- provided they do not try to curb your independence or ask too much of you. Then the sun in Leo is happy to have friends, provided they're willing to be an audience. Hopefully you know that to have a friend you have to reciprocate and be a good friend in return-- on their terms as much as on your terms.

Hi waybread, thanks for the reply !
That's interesting. I can admit I have not been perfect, but for example, in one of the cases of losing a friend was when a friend passed along a business contact to me. I had tried out working with this suggested person, but it just did not work out in the end and I tactfully explained that. Then the friend that suggested this contact to me, with whom they are also friends with, felt offended that I said I did not want to work with them and cut ties with me which was extremely confusing as my side was never gotten. In the other cases, I have been the friend that was there to emotionally support and offer advice and even have paid for things that normal friends would not do, but then when I need some help or advice, they were nowhere to be found and just dropped me. Again, I am not perfect, but I just thought they'd be there. I truly feel OK without them at the moment, but I just found it weird that people started to drop away when I thought I needed them.

waybread said:

I don't know what sort of intuition you are following, but with the moon in independent Aries, it looks like friends are very important to you-- provided they do not try to curb your independence or ask too much of you.

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Princemob's moon isn't in Aries, it's in the last degree of Pisces. Super sensitive, accommodating, giving. Friends are important, yes--eleventh house moon--but Pisces is so inclined to give and bend to support others, that giving too much away is the risk here. Indeed, that's what I see happening.

You've given your all to your friends without any clear indication that they would be willing to do the same for you in return. Moon indicates where our deep lying assumptions are, and one deep lying assumption that people tend to make is that everyone plays by the same rules as ourselves. Your rule, made deep in your subconscious, is that friends always do everything and anything for each other. Then you're surprised when your friends are not nearly as giving as you are. In fact, they seem to be taking advantage of you.

They have you pegged as the person who helps them, not the person who needs help. So, when you turn out to need help yourself, that shatters their image of you. Perhaps some moon-unconscious expectations of their own.

If you have Chiron in your natal 11th (in my natal chart in Taurus), more like a tendency not to have friends, nor they were close or hold importance to you. I knew my Mom's friends and my bro's friends (they are Taurus), but I find my Mom's friends judgmental of me and my bro's friends tend to get in trouble.

Eek, you're right, Osamenor.

Princemob, scratch my thoughts on moon in Aries, and listen to her.

Well, IMO -

If you look at traditional rulers transiting Jupiter is squaring you, natal Mercury. So your friends and you have tension. This would just be a phase type of thing. Transiting Saturn could have caused tension for them too.

But with modern ruler being Neptune, Neptune is entering its own house. So your friends are more focused on themselves as a priority and will inconjnct you (not see you).

Can you post your progressed chart? Maybe that might show something.

Wow Osamenor, that feels so true !! I’ve tried to please my friends (everyone for that matter), but recently I’ve stopped doing that because I’ve felt used or taken for granted. I’m on my phone right now and not sure how to post my progressed chart, but will do so soon. Thsnks everyone !

Here's my progressed chart. Does this help anything ? Is there anything else in my chart that would show why life, despite putting in so much effort, is going off the rails ?

princemob said:

Here's my progressed chart. Does this help anything ? Is there anything else in my chart that would show why life, despite putting in so much effort, is going off the rails ?

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How is your life going off the rails? What is this "so much effort" you've been putting in? And how long has this been gong on?

Well I had a pretty successful career that has slowed down greatly. On two projects that many who worked in my industry have said I would/should get and even stayed up 24 hours - literally and not in a figurative sense - just to complete due to short notice and a short deadline, both were rejected. But then I saw the accepted works and they were of less quality. I’ve been looking for work to try to supplement the low-to-zero flow of income, but nothing. I’ve submitted for non-paid internships in a new field at local places, but nothing. I’m about to lose my home because of all of it. I’ve put in as much work as I’ve known how to, but it seems I just cannot make it work now. It started at the end of 2015 slightly, but I’d say the worst of it started at the very end of 2016. The last month or so has been a nightmare.

Hi,

Sorry to hear that, but the astrological answer is very simple to your misunderstandings with others or losing friends.

The ruler of your 11th house is Jupiter, which, along with the Moon, sits in your 11th house. Both have faced squares from transiting Saturn multiple times, so that area (friends, hopes and wishers) was affected. Also, transit Saturn has been over your 7th house - house of relating to others and open enemies - in traditional astrology. So, those that bore any animosity with you in their heart, Saturn uncovered them to you.

Very interesting ! So I am wondering when this will end and what the next step will be ? I hope things will calm down when Saturn leaves Sagittarius, although I hear 8th house transits are awful.

princemob said:

Very interesting ! So I am wondering when this will end and what the next step will be ? I hope things will calm down when Saturn leaves Sagittarius, although I hear 8th house transits are awful.

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Saturn will ALWAYS be in some or the other house, so if you will get influenced by every little thing you read, you should probably stay away from astrology, as it will only cause you fear and worry.

As soon as Sat is out of Sag, it will stop squaring your 11th house planets. In fact, after some months of being in Cap, it might even bring you more stable friendships, or friends that are older than you are. Please come back and report.

Your progressed chart has Moon in Taurus (exalted, so strong), on your natal 12th, which means it is now time for self-introspection and dealing with your own internal self in that you first learn to enjoy just with yourself.

Has your mum been doing fine the past year or so? Just asking.

Also, with transit Neptune on the cusp of your 11th house, be careful of deception or just taking a liking to people out of loneliness, although they might not be right for you. Also, do not lend money to any friends unless you are 100% sure they really need it for some urgency. You might not see it again. Nep in the 11th is also a time when you might feel compelled to do some charity/volunteer work, so go ahead and do it.

aquarius7000 said:

Saturn will ALWAYS be in some or the other house, so if you will get influenced by every little thing you read, you should probably stay away from astrology, as it will only cause you fear and worry.

As soon as Sat is out of Sag, it will stop squaring your 11th house planets. In fact, after some months of being in Cap, it might even bring you more stable friendships, or friends that are older than you are. Please come back and report.

Your progressed chart has Moon in Taurus (exalted, so strong), on your natal 12th, which means it is now time for self-introspection and dealing with your own internal self in that you first learn to enjoy just with yourself.

Has your mum been doing fine the past year or so? Just asking.

Also, with transit Neptune on the cusp of your 11th house, be careful of deception or just taking a liking to people out of loneliness, although they might not be right for you. Also, do not lend money to any friends unless you are 100% sure they really need it for some urgency. You might not see it again. Nep in the 11th is also a time when you might feel compelled to do some charity/volunteer work, so go ahead and do it.

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I do take astrology with a grain of salt like anything, but also I have seen, from what I have learned about my chart from others, actually come into play so I am always very open to what I read, but not crippled by it.

I like the sound of that. Not sure if it will be the same, but at one point I was surrounded by a lot of Capricorn energy, from the person I was dating to my two managers that I worked with and, while things were a little bit off from time to time, the energy was great and quite enjoyed it and did my best. Hopefully Saturn in Capricorn will bring that energy along. I absolutely will report back.

Very interesting about my progressed moon. Surprisingly I live in a quite busy city center and now am looking to move to a bit more secluded, quiet area if I lose my place.

As for my mom, I lost her 7 years ago in May unfortunately. It was a huge surprise as she was not sick at all. I am curious what you see about that regardless as losing her has been a heavy point for me and quite possibly why I can be needy sometimes.

I will take your words in the last bit of your comment as well. I've been learning to break off being with people just for the sake of it and learning to be OK with myself, although it has been hard at times. Charity/volunteer work sounds great ! Thank you, aquarius7000 !

Hi,

Firstly, if you could post your transit and progressed charts (separately) for the time when the personal event with your mom happened. Really sorry to hear about it.

I suspect that when that happened, transit Uranus could have been close to your Moon (at anarectic degree) and also Saturn might have been opposing it. Mars might have also triggered it in some way also.

Thanks aquarius7000 !
Here are my charts. Anything interesting ?

You know looking at your chart and mine I can see it's more a transitting issue. The time will pass and get back to normal. But I personally find it annoying in my own life. Like when slow moving planets are in my 5th and 6th house (pisces and aries, the signs that oppose my friends planets) I just have no hope in hell maintaining a single friendship. Even if we got along beautifully when we were in school when slow planets were in aqua or sag. In aries and pisces I got nothing but immature gossip till no end combined with possessive ownership over who was friends with who and who was closer friends than the other.

Abby83 said:

You know looking at your chart and mine I can see it's more a transitting issue. The time will pass and get back to normal. But I personally find it annoying in my own life. Like when slow moving planets are in my 5th and 6th house (pisces and aries, the signs that oppose my friends planets) I just have no hope in hell maintaining a single friendship. Even if we got along beautifully when we were in school when slow planets were in aqua or sag. In aries and pisces I got nothing but immature gossip till no end combined with possessive ownership over who was friends with who and who was closer friends than the other.

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It is very annoying indeed ! I do hope things get back to normsl soon. I must say that it is good knowing who is a true friend and who isn’t.