Sun square Mars. Competitive edge.

All this time i over looked this single aspect in my chart.. unknown as to why but i did.

It explain where my ego comes from and why i am so competitive when i really want to be, it's not competitive in everything i do, it's competitive against larger foes or opponents, i need to feel a mountain ahead of me to conquer it.

I upload video's to YouTube which show me doing some outright intelligent gaming.. which is not constructive, but it channels my sun / Mars energy.. at least for the time being.
Sun square Mars
Mercury square Mars
Moon conjunct Mars.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VeMf80j9W8


Doing physical work, i feel better, i feel accomplished when i have been physical.

I chopped a tree down once in my parents back garden with just a hand axe taking the skin away from my hand doing so, i cared less about that, i cared about taking this tree down and not being defeated, stuck it out for like 2 hours without rest.. tree came down.

That hand axe is blunt AF now though... but was well worth it.

Gaming in such a highly skilled game like CS gives my mind a work out along with channeling my Sun / Mars aspect, moon stays happy unless i lose, then i get worked up and fight even harder.. bust a few mice and keyboards, not a sore loser, just sudden burst of competitive spirit that manifests physically (Taurus Mars is physical)

CS has removed my brain from other games though, like Call of Duty.. etc, they are far too easy and for more casual players, they require far less mind, CS requires real team work, the ability to emotionally keep a team together, back them up, lead.. flexibility when needed, and remain calm yourself.

The game is incredibly mentally taxing, games can last up to an hour.

Game works on skill level you only face equally skilled players, i am top 2% now in the world.. up from top 10% ... Not too bad considering a player base of more than 3 million world wide, bit that top 2% has a lot of players a lot better than me.. it's such a compressed place to be with a new mountain bigger than everest. That mountain i'm not as eager to climb because i don't earn money from it, but i'm competing sort of "casually" in a bracket far higher than average players.

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No idea where else i can use this, but i hope i find something.. my drive is killer when it's got me like this.
 
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