Sun in libra 12th house

So are you saying Saturn is responsible cos it's my 3rd ruler which means that I'm being silenced cos it's in the 12th house.

Oh... mercury progressed into my 12th house but is now in my 1st. I think my Saturn may now be in progressed 11th..

Talking and writing things out to ppl is the only way I understand a situation. It's weird. I can't just think quietly like a lot of ppl. The same goes with my reading difficulties. If I read out loud I can read a lot faster than in my head. When I read quietly I just can't hear it enough and it doesn't sink in and I might have to read the same sentence 5 times and get distracted etc. I get a bit foggy in the head when I read. Like tired. But if I read out loud it alerts me to read faster.

The thing that stood out for me in your last post is when you said the 12th house is about letting go. I mean I know in my heart I needed to know what happened. Eg my dad only told me 2 years ago that the reason he didn't see me was cos of the ultimatum. But regardless I think my heart should have let go of him instead of trying. But that's pretty hard even at this age. With Gemini man I'm moe pissed off that he had a much easier chart and therefore had no idea or care of what pain he was causing me. He was just self centred and that's what hurts. But I'll let go.

Oh and even now I just don't know what to do with my dad. He wants me and my mum to take him out for a belated Father's Day but he doesn't have time for us any other day 😕.

sadge said:

Wow. That does sound very selfish. :-(

BTW, about your comment on needing more than an apology from your hubby....what is it that you need to be able to move forward? What do you want? Have you articulated these thoughts for yourself yet? (A sincere apology would be a good start though....probably a necessity at some point.)

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Well, I meant an apology from my dad. But that's not enough. It was a start. But through counselling the counsellor keep reinforcing the questions - do you deserve to be treated the way he treated you? Would you have done what he did? How would you treat yourself as a child if you were the parent? Why are you seeing someone who did this to you? Do you deserve that person and treatmen? Does he deserve you? Then I realise for sure, no you don't do that to. Child. I'm making excuses for him cos all this time I can't accept that there are ppl out there who are that selfish and monsters. Let alone my father. Especially if it's my own blood. But then I realise he didn't have to choose. It's not hard. He decided to give up n me and now he's not in my life cos he feels guilty. He's in my life cos he wants me to look after him when he's old. I only just came to this awakening. For a long time I came up with excuses for him. But enough is enough.

And I guess it's the same with the other guys too. They chose another woman. It's really not that hard, which is what I assumed. I derive better. I deserve what I offer.

sadge said:

I agree. You deserve to get back the love that you offer. Or no deal. You deserve better.

I don't know why its so hard for some people to be thoughtful of others, but it happens a lot. I agree with you that it's cowardly behavior too.

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It's hard to explain but for ppl like me the attachment is so strong you can't see it for what it is. Especially if the person lies a lot and gives you a different impression. Very confusing. That's why so many ppl in were situations than me stay with their abusers. Like trauma bonding. You think the person loves you. I'm being told my father may also be a narc or have narc traits and the lesson for empaths is to love yourself. Love yourself enough to stop contact even if the person is blood related. It's difficult for empaths cos we think that to stop contact will cause so much pain. But if we educate ourselves we can learn that these people don't have feelings. They can't love. So we have to love ourselves and protect ourselves by cutting off these ppl from get go.

sadge said:

Hey Abbs --- did you notice what happened in this thread? You started out by expressing something that was deeply frustrating to you. You were criticized for it.....but you continued to press forward, leaning on that mercury/NN.... and look where it got you. I loved reading all of these realizations you shared.

One more thing..... I understand what you mean about how trauma victims may have attachment issues. And I agree wholeheartedly that you have to love yourself enough to leave. But maybe I can offer another perspective on top of that one: It’s not about cutting them off and thus losing somebody....it’s about liberating yourself. You don’t “lose” anything. You gain your freedom. By cutting out the negative energy from your life, you are shedding the chains that hold you down. That’s why in the end, it’s really a win for you, even if it might not feel that way at the time. Sometimes it’s just a matter of taking the right perspective to keep moving forward.

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Agreed. I'm seeing it now as 'moving on with my life without being held back.'

Yes you are right. I did carry on despite being criticised and I'm so proud of myself. I will always continue speaking no matter who wants to shut me up. It's so interesting because when I was a toddler I was so quiet and growing up and in social situations I was quiet too. It was always because I wanted peace and to get on ppls good side. Now I don't care anymore. I've lost friends because they think I'm opinionated but I figure better now than later and it's not healthy to bottle it up inside. Now I'm expressing myself and it feels good.

Just one other thing. Sometimes my hb keeps telling me he wants me to be more logical. In his chart I'm mercury in Pisces. In my chart I'm mars in Virgo or Pluto in libra. But I'm a little psychic and intuitive and can read ppl well. But there are some situations that occur that are wrong on all levels eg: with my mil and her messed up actions with my kids, property damage etc. Naturally having the these things happen anyone would remove themselves and say she's not well right? Well my hb keeps telling me he wants 'evidence.' I'm like what more evidence do you need? He says he wants proof cos I wasn't there. He's being silly. Like I saw my mil doing things and I also found my children told me stuff when they got back to my house after seeing mil. And my hb wants proof? I think he's just trying to protect her as usual but it does make me think about my chart again cos I am psychic and intuitive yet my nn in Gemini is logical right? So I don't want to give up on my premonitions and psychic abilities but I really don't see why I should waste my time for more evidence than what is already shown.

{Despite what you said about being the psychic one and having to deal with him asking for “logic,” the synastry shows that you are actually the one who can help him develop a more objective and critical approach to life (and his family) as indicated by your virgo planets that support his NN and your air. So I suspect his complaint for “logic” or “evidence” is really just an effort to deflect your concerns. According to the synastry, you are being the logical and rational one in these matters. But you know the situation better than me, so I'll let you be the judge of it.

But I’m calling B.S. on his request for more “logic.” Whatever.}

This is fantastic. Wow. Thanks for showing this to me. I think you may be totally right in saying he may be deflecting. Why did I not think of that? All this time I thought I was being too emotional, too psychic, too intuitive, when really my mars in virgo on his nn 10th house. I keep trying to wake him up to reality regarding his mother. He is so deluded regarding his family he keeps regressing back to his comfort of deluded thoughts. I think his parents are to blame for that delusion. Me and my mum are focused on speaking out the truth that we see. I think they need to see it. My mother in law has family members that she doesn't talk to cos they did the same. But she labelled them the psychos. She kept projecting and deflecting. Now hb is doing same to me. It's always someone else's problem, never his or his family. But thanks for showing me what I couldn't see. And now I will continue with this frame of mind of placing the reality in my husband's mind.

I cut ties with my dad a few weeks ago. I finally woke up and realised I was making excuses for what he did. I cant believe how liberated I feel. Like it changed a few things which are too private to talk about but I cant believe how it affected my subconscious mind. I started feeling powerful and worthy. I stood up for my self worth. I feel valuable now. And my outlook on certain men feels better. It's easier for me to see the Gemini man as unworthy and to see me as more valuable and no longer being dependent on their thoughts or their existence at all.

Abby83 said:

I've seen the very same men be fine with other women who have strong sun placements in their natal chart.

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Its good that you have noticed that. Maybe the problem is not in these men.


Did you inherit your opinion about men from your mother? Did she think that your father was a coward and is that the reason why you have a stepfather?

Abby83 said:

I will point out that the only male in my life who is man enough for my taste is my son. He's almost 5 btw but has more guts and courage than all these other men in my life. I keep telling my son how much I wish I had a man like him in my life and he empathises with me.

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Poor child! Let's hope that you will not destroy his life by telling him that. He might not be able to grow up if you tell him that you desperately need him as the only strong man in your life.

SunW said:

Its good that you have noticed that. Maybe the problem is not in these men.


Did you inherit your opinion about men from your mother? Did she think that your father was a coward and is that the reason why you have a stepfather?






Poor child! Let's hope that you will not destroy his life by telling him that. He might not be able to grow up if you tell him that you desperately need him as the only strong man in your life.

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This is a dumb uneducated response. I get where you're trying to go, but your judgement in a heartbeat means I'm not gonna bother going through it.

Keep scrolling and post elsewhere. Your poor judgements are unwelcome here.

But actually now I'm happy you posted cos it reminded me that a few weeks ago my dad said his ex also called him a coward. She said she was shocked he hadn't progressed even after all these years. So it's not just me.