Abby83
Well-known member
That's so weird....when I zeroed in on your NN today, and then chiron, I had the thought, "omg, I really hope she writes that children's book." (Seriously!)
You can't hope for your future based on your past. The most successful people in the world had a series of failures before they achieved their goals. My biggest heroes in life had failure after failure before they accomplished what they were called to do in their lifetime. Failures, or struggles, are the training grounds for when it's showtime.
I looked at both of your charts, and I totally understand the struggle. (Okay, here's the truth: i got teary eyed and sad...needed to take a timeout to let the enormity of this conflict sink in. So yes, i get it. Both of your charts and your relationship ran through my nerves today.) Both of you have your own challenges, and when you put your charts together, they happen to reinforce those most vulnerable places in your chart. The pain of not being loved the way that you want to be loved won't ever go away. But through studying the underlying motivations behind certain aspects/placements, you guys can at least have conscious awareness of your weaknesses and try to reach for a higher expression and treat one another, including yourselves, with compassion. (Like if hubby can understand the meaning of that saturn, and how it plays out in his relationship with you, then maybe he can TRY to make you feel safe instead of controlled.) And given the streak of independence in both of you, maybe you guys can find a way to give each other room to be individuals within the relationship. I'm just thinking out loud right now on ideas to mitigate the areas of conflict. But it's tough. You guys have intense synastry. That's not ever going to go away. It's always worth it though to give it your best shot and work together (that's where you need to take the lead) to find the best way forward. And I fully acknowledge that sometimes it's not possible to work together like this with everyone. So I do not judge you, no matter which path you choose.
But that's what evolutionary astrology is all about, and that's why it focuses on interpreting a chart through the context of pluto and the nodal axis. The point is to find how we can evolve into a higher expression of ourselves. There are certain tricks of the trade, like working with polarity points, but also identifying the node that holds the point of resolution for an individual. For you, it is that NN. It's also a painful and stressed point in your chart, but do the best you can to draw from your spiritual warehouse of strength and lean toward that node, even if you start to feel insecurities, because your superpower is waiting for you over there. When planets from the top of your chart squares that point, it means one of the issues driving your fears/motivations is connected to social conditions (like status, how you think you stand in relation to others, etc). Do you see that insecurity, or conflict, in your life and in that square in your chart (Venus/mars sq chiron/NN)? It's reflected in the story you shared with me about that Gemini guy. And hubby doesn't help because he comes in with his ****** up saturn and inflames those insecurities even more. So do your best to lean toward that NN and mentally give that 10H the finger if it starts to make you feel insecure.
Let me know when your book is for sale! I'll buy a copy.
You are right. So you are saying by following my nn I can protect myself from all of this? I even think it will enable me to just give the finger to all of the guys that pissed me off really. I mean I can feel it now. With that Gemini guy, even though there are lots of qualities I like about him I'm still too pissed at him and that type of male in general. I mean I like a guy who likes me for me, not cos I'm rich and have the perfect most successful family.
)