Sun in libra 12th house

I need to have a rant.

I hate my sun in libra 12th house. Yes The current transit Pluto square sun has made me realise just how many men in my life are cowards. I'm so disappointed in all of them for not standing up to dominating women. My father, hb, brother, father in law and a guy I had a huge crush on when I was 19. All of these men are cowards. The thing that frustrates me is that they are cowards in my life because of my natal chart. I've seen the very same men be fine with other women who have strong sun placements in their natal chart.

In a few years my sun will progress into my first house. Will this make things any better? I mean the way things are at the moment, even if a planet has a harmonious aspect to my sun, I still find the men way too weak and passive. And being an internally strong person myself, I often feel like getting on with life on my own cos I'm stronger than them.

I will point out that the only male in my life who is man enough for my taste is my son. He's almost 5 btw but has more guts and courage than all these other men in my life. I keep telling my son how much I wish I had a man like him in my life and he empathises with me.

Abby83 said:

I need to have a rant.

I hate my sun in libra 12th house. Yes The current transit Pluto square sun has made me realise just how many men in my life are cowards. I'm so disappointed in all of them for not standing up to dominating women. My father, hb, brother, father in law and a guy I had a huge crush on when I was 19. All of these men are cowards. The thing that frustrates me is that they are cowards dealing with me because of my natal chart. I've seen the very same men be fine with other women who have strong sun placements in their natal chart.en if a guy la

In a few years my sun will progress into my first house. Will this make things any better? I mean the way things are at the moment, even if a planet has a harmonious aspect to my sun, I still find the mean way too weak and passive. And being an internally strong person myself, I often feel like getting on with life on my own cos I'm stronger than them.

I will point out that the only male in my life who is man enough for my taste is my son. He's almost 5 btw but has more guts and courage than all these other men in my life. I keep telling my son how much I wish I had a man like him in my life and he empathises with me.

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I always love your rants.

sadge said:

I always love your rants.

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Ahaha thanks for the positive Sadge 😁.

Abby83 said:

I need to have a rant.

I hate my sun in libra 12th house. Yes The current transit Pluto square sun has made me realise just how many men in my life are cowards. I'm so disappointed in all of them for not standing up to dominating women. My father, hb, brother, father in law and a guy I had a huge crush on when I was 19. All of these men are cowards. The thing that frustrates me is that they are cowards in my life because of my natal chart. I've seen the very same men be fine with other women who have strong sun placements in their natal chart.

In a few years my sun will progress into my first house. Will this make things any better? I mean the way things are at the moment, even if a planet has a harmonious aspect to my sun, I still find the men way too weak and passive. And being an internally strong person myself, I often feel like getting on with life on my own cos I'm stronger than them.

I will point out that the only male in my life who is man enough for my taste is my son. He's almost 5 btw but has more guts and courage than all these other men in my life. I keep telling my son how much I wish I had a man like him in my life and he empathises with me.

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About the bolded portion above--- I'd be cautious about stressing that to him, too often.

You are talking about his father and both his grandfathers, and his uncles...Virtually all the men in his life are being called out as cowards, by his mother. And he is being told he is superior to them all, in your eyes and in your heart.

Maybe it's just me, but it seems like that could be a confusing and awkward message that he is left to process.

Hi Abbs.....sorry for delay...

You already know how you have a complicated chart in regards to relationships...there's a reoccurring theme of being forced back into yourself to reexamine what relationships mean to you, what you need in relationships, and how to actualize your own self worth alongside your partner's self worth as well. It's a complicated and painful journey of figuring out what to hold on to within yourself and when to let go, either of your expectations or of your partner. It's a journey of self discovery reflected through the people you bring into the innermost sanctuary of your life. As part of that process, it's always important to be completely honest with yourself, especially with so much Libra energy that naturally balances itself against a partner (libra sun, NN 7H, chiron 7H). In that light, I believe rants such as this is an important way to turn off the internal editor and get it all out.... even if it's just in the privacy of your own journal. Writers often do such exercises (called "free writes" when you let the mind run free, just to get it all out) as the first step to identifying what is at the root of your concern or to kick start a brainstorming session.

I agree with you that cowardly men are all over the place. Cowardly women too. Cowardly people mistake kindness for weakness and take advantage of it. They take advantage of opportunities to crush other people rather than build them up. But genuinely strong people know there's more strength in self control and choosing not to proliferate harm. They dont look the other way either when someone else is being harmed. That's why you know deep inside that you are stronger than your MIL and husband, even though on the surface it looks like you carry more of the spiritual bruises.

Strong men are ones who set a standard for everyone else. It's not just about muscle, the loudest voice, the greatest intelligence, the most wealth, or the most stamina in a fight. Its an inner strength of self-control and a commitment to values that can't be changed or influenced by pop culture, peers, or even toxic family members. The strong ones will never let you feel the way that you have been made to feel in the past. They are strong enough to be vulnerable. It's really scary stuff for cowards. Cowards need to make others feel weak in order to demonstrate their own strength -- that is your MIL. Cowards look the other way when another is being hurt -- that is your husband.

I understand what Kat is suggesting by being careful with what we discuss in front of kids. Thats a point worthy of consideration. But at the same time, kids are way more intelligent than we assume. Kids will see everything with their own eyes, feel the energy with their own nerves, and it won't be long before they make their own judgments on what happened.... and probably very accurate ones. If dad was a weak momma's boy who let his mother trample all over his family, then his son will remember it. How a man treats his wife is fundamental to how a young boy will internalize his own relationship with women, for better or for worse.

So as part of your journey, i believe it's important for you to acknowledge your feelings and frustrations, no matter how ugly or inappropriate they may seem. Honestly acknowledging your feelings is more important than etiquette, especially for you. So dig deep and let it out, just like you did in this rant. It's an important part of the process.

Another exercise that might be helpful for you is to define exactly what YOU think makes someone strong. What are the characteristics that reflect "strength" to you? Something to think about. And maybe you'll have a chance to discuss them with your hubby someday.

S.

sadge said:

Hi Abbs.....sorry for delay...

You already know how you have a complicated chart in regards to relationships...there's a reoccurring theme of being forced back into yourself to reexamine what relationships mean to you, what you need in relationships, and how to actualize your own self worth alongside your partner's self worth as well. It's a complicated and painful journey of figuring out what to hold on to within yourself and when to let go, either of your expectations or of your partner. It's a journey of self discovery reflected through the people you bring into the innermost sanctuary of your life. As part of that process, it's always important to be completely honest with yourself, especially with so much Libra energy that naturally balances itself against a partner (libra sun, NN 7H, chiron 7H). In that light, I believe rants such as this is an important way to turn off the internal editor and get it all out.... even if it's just in the privacy of your own journal. Writers often do such exercises (called "free writes" when you let the mind run free, just to get it all out) as the first step to identifying what is at the root of your concern or to kick start a brainstorming session.

I agree with you that cowardly men are all over the place. Cowardly women too. Cowardly people mistake kindness for weakness and take advantage of it. They take advantage of opportunities to crush other people rather than build them up. But genuinely strong people know there's more strength in self control and choosing not to proliferate harm. They dont look the other way either when someone else is being harmed. That's why you know deep inside that you are stronger than your MIL and husband, even though on the surface it looks like you carry more of the spiritual bruises.

Strong men are ones who set a standard for everyone else. It's not just about muscle, the loudest voice, the greatest intelligence, the most wealth, or the most stamina in a fight. Its an inner strength of self-control and a commitment to values that can't be changed or influenced by pop culture, peers, or even toxic family members. The strong ones will never let you feel the way that you have been made to feel in the past. They are strong enough to be vulnerable. It's really scary stuff for cowards. Cowards need to make others feel weak in order to demonstrate their own strength -- that is your MIL. Cowards look the other way when another is being hurt -- that is your husband.

I understand what Kat is suggesting by being careful with what we discuss in front of kids. Thats a point worthy of consideration. But at the same time, kids are way more intelligent than we assume. Kids will see everything with their own eyes, feel the energy with their own nerves, and it won't be long before they make their own judgments on what happened.... and probably very accurate ones. If dad was a weak momma's boy who let his mother trample all over his family, then his son will remember it. How a man treats his wife is fundamental to how a young boy will internalize his own relationship with women, for better or for worse.

So as part of your journey, i believe it's important for you to acknowledge your feelings and frustrations, no matter how ugly or inappropriate they may seem. Honestly acknowledging your feelings is more important than etiquette, especially for you. So dig deep and let it out, just like you did in this rant. It's an important part of the process.

Another exercise that might be helpful for you is to define exactly what YOU think makes someone strong. What are the characteristics that reflect "strength" to you? Something to think about. And maybe you'll have a chance to discuss them with your hubby someday.

S.

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You took the words right out of my mouth many times. What s lovely heartfelt explanation. I couldn't agree more.

As for my son. I was gonna say that he will see for himself that my hb is cowering to his mother. Ugh. Yuck.

I agree my chart emphasises releasing emotions instead of caring about etiquette.

Writing is very good advice.

Honestly, I know I am strong. So knowing how strong I am I know it's possible to see in others, but I don't see it. So that frustrates me. Knowing how strong I am and how weak they are. It wud be so easy for me if I were in their shoes. Anyone with 50% of a brain would find it easier than these guys. I really don't understand why it's so hard for them when it's absolutely basic for me.

Abby83 said:

Honestly, I know I am strong. So knowing how strong I am I know it's possible to see in others, but I don't see it. So that frustrates me. Knowing how strong I am and how weak they are. It wud be so easy for me if I were in their shoes. Anyone with 50% of a brain would find it easier than these guys. I really don't understand why it's so hard for them when it's absolutely basic for me.

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Some people are driven by fear and a need to control others. It's their own compulsion and shadow that controls their egos... just look at how much energy they expend toward trying to hurt you and break you down rather than operating from a place of genuine goodwill. Look at how difficult it is for them to build you up -- they can't do it. Its easier for them to try and destroy you. People don't fixate so obsessively on hurting other people unless they are weak. Cowards get their strength by trying to weaken others. When you're already strong, you don't need to destroy other people in order to retain your ego.

I haven't seen their charts so I don't know what is driving their psychology. But I remember your chart, and yes, you do have a warehouse full of spiritual strength and independence that comes from a very loving place. You are the one demonstrating real strength by refusing to drop to their level of play.

People only know what they know. So if they've only experienced what it feels like to be hurt, or to be controlled from forces outside of themselves, or to have their spirit crushed by others, then that's the body of experience they have to work with in navigating their own lives. This is the story that unfolds in their natal charts. People have to experience love, forgiveness, and compassion before they can know it in their bones, not just know about it as a hypothetical concept from books or religion.

Whether or not your husband will rise to be a bigger man is dependent on him, not you. In his lifetime, he will choose to either continue the same cycle set forth by his family background or choose to establish a new foundation for himself. I hope your husband is able to see his role in everything and how he is part of the process that perpetuates harm, beginning with his relationship with you.

It's important to honestly express yourself. Your frustrations are real, so it doesnt do you any good to stuff these feelings away and pretend like they dont exist. These realizations are reflected in your progressions.

You deserve to be loved by a man who is as strong as you.

Abby83 said:

You took the words right out of my mouth many times. What s lovely heartfelt explanation. I couldn't agree more.

As for my son. I was gonna say that he will see for himself that my hb is cowering to his mother. Ugh. Yuck.

I agree my chart emphasises releasing emotions instead of caring about etiquette.

Writing is very good advice.

Honestly, I know I am strong. So knowing how strong I am I know it's possible to see in others, but I don't see it. So that frustrates me. Knowing how strong I am and how weak they are. It wud be so easy for me if I were in their shoes. Anyone with 50% of a brain would find it easier than these guys. I really don't understand why it's so hard for them when it's absolutely basic for me.

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I wrote a long reply, but deleted it. I will send it by PM instead because of family drama...

Sadge posted:
I understand what Kat is suggesting by being careful with what we discuss in front of kids. Thats a point worthy of consideration. But at the same time, kids are way more intelligent than we assume. Kids will see everything with their own eyes, feel the energy with their own nerves, and it won't be long before they make their own judgments on what happened.... and probably very accurate ones. If dad was a weak momma's boy who let his mother trample all over his family, then his son will remember it. How a man treats his wife is fundamental to how a young boy will internalize his own relationship with women, for better or for worse.

So as part of your journey, i believe it's important for you to acknowledge your feelings and frustrations, no matter how ugly or inappropriate they may seem. Honestly acknowledging your feelings is more important than etiquette, especially for you. So dig deep and let it out, just like you did in this rant. It's an important part of the process.



Sorry, but I have to question some of the above.

I did not say to be careful about what we 'discuss' in front of children. My husband and I 'discussed' almost everything with them.

But big difference between a reasoned discussion and an 'emotional private rant'.

Especially when that emotional rant is directed towards a 5 yr old boy's father, whom he loves very much. Hearing his mother rant about what a useless coward his father is has to be painful and confusing.

That is not a 'discussion.' And a 5 yr old is not in the place to process such an emotional rant , in my opinion.



I would agree with the statement that it is important for her to acknowledge her frustrations, no matter how rational or inappropriate they may be, and it is a part of HER journey. I totally agree.

But should it be part of her 5 yr old son's journey? If I look at his 12th house moon squaring Mercury, NN and Sun, conjunct his Scorpio MC, I'd have to say NO, don't take him on your emotional irrational journey.

Kat, relax. I stated that you made a good point. We were referring to Abby's need to dive into her emotions so that she can acknowledge her true feelings. We discussed free writes, etc. I was encouraging her to express herself without fear of judgment, whether that's on this forum, in a journal, etc. Nobody is advocating for messing up her son. People need to feel safe in expressing their true feelings to make honest assessments of their life.

When someone comes to me with a legitimate problem, my method is to enter that personal space with him/her and try to understand. I don't want to judge people from the onset.... that puts up walls and makes people feel inferior for having honest emotions. The purpose of free writes is for people to release any frustrations, anger, hopes, etc. without fear of judgment.... then they can go back and look at what was buried in their hearts or minds. It's an effective tool.

If we want to find something wrong with another person, we will find it. Within the context of this thread, I did not hear a call for me to criticize her. She gets enough of that from herself and her family. I wanted to assure her that it's OK to express yourself in writing, as she did here. I wanted Abby to feel safe. That's it.

katydid said:

Sadge posted:
I understand what Kat is suggesting by being careful with what we discuss in front of kids. Thats a point worthy of consideration. But at the same time, kids are way more intelligent than we assume. Kids will see everything with their own eyes, feel the energy with their own nerves, and it won't be long before they make their own judgments on what happened.... and probably very accurate ones. If dad was a weak momma's boy who let his mother trample all over his family, then his son will remember it. How a man treats his wife is fundamental to how a young boy will internalize his own relationship with women, for better or for worse.

So as part of your journey, i believe it's important for you to acknowledge your feelings and frustrations, no matter how ugly or inappropriate they may seem. Honestly acknowledging your feelings is more important than etiquette, especially for you. So dig deep and let it out, just like you did in this rant. It's an important part of the process.



Sorry, but I have to question some of the above.

I did not say to be careful about what we 'discuss' in front of children. My husband and I 'discussed' almost everything with them.

But big difference between a reasoned discussion and an 'emotional private rant'.

Especially when that emotional rant is directed towards a 5 yr old boy's father, whom he loves very much. Hearing his mother rant about what a useless coward his father is has to be painful and confusing.

That is not a 'discussion.' And a 5 yr old is not in the place to process such an emotional rant , in my opinion.



I would agree with the statement that it is important for her to acknowledge her frustrations, no matter how rational or inappropriate they may be, and it is a part of HER journey. I totally agree.

But should it be part of her 5 yr old son's journey? If I look at his 12th house moon squaring Mercury, NN and Sun, conjunct his Scorpio MC, I'd have to say NO, don't take him on your emotional irrational journey.

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Katydid please calm down. I didn't say I had an emotional rant on my son at all.

Sadge I'll respond properly soon. But before I forget do you think progressed sun into 1st house will make any difference at all. Another member on this forum told me that when this progression occurred her father apologised to her. I need more than that.

Sadge I'm really happy you are writing to me because it makes me feel better and you understand me better than I think a lot of ppl.

Abby83 said:

Sadge I'll respond properly soon. But before I forget do you think progressed sun into 1st house will make any difference at all. Another member on this forum told me that when this progression occurred her father apologised to her. I need more than that.

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Hi Abbs….. thank you for your patience. Sorry it took me so long to respond. This is a busy time of the year for me.

I don’t know if progressed Sun on asc will give you what you need from your husband. Since progressions symbolize the changes happening within you (new perceptions, new confidence, etc.) the new opportunities that emerge coincide with your inner changes. I’m wondering if you will be able to engage with your hubby more directly, and productively, regarding the problems in your marriage? Have you looked at your hubby’s progressed chart to see what will be happening with him?

Something interesting that I observed in my life was a few occasions when I had an important aspect or sign/angle change in my progressed chart….. and I met someone who carried those exact placements or configurations in his/her natal chart. Down to the degree! And the exchange was always going both ways because my natal would hit the other’s progressed chart in the same way. No matter how brief our encounter may have been, this other person helped me to solidify a newfound awareness, usually before the progression became exact. There are a couple of notable experiences I’m thinking of right now of people who profoundly impacted me and I impacted them too. The way their charts touched my progressed chart helped me to see that it was time to make a change or advancement in my life. We each reflected back to one another the changes happening in our progressed charts. (The synchronicity in our universe never ceases to amaze me.)

Going back to your question: I don’t know if your husband will give you what you want. We can assume that everything you are going through right now, like all of these inner realizations, are part of the process that’s building up toward a new inner confidence and awareness that will emerge when that pSun hits your asc. Did you look at transits during that time too to see how that pSun will be supported or stressed? And your hubby's progressions?

But if you look at everything as a seamless process, then don't you think a lot of changes are happening right now are building toward that pSun conjunction? Such as this recent move in your life?

Abbs....I wanted to drop one more note for you:

About our previous convo on expressing yourself..... When you first posted that “rant,” above, I smiled to myself for several reasons based on your chart. I’ll try to explain:

You know how I referred to your warehouse full of spiritual strength? I wasn’t just blowing smoke up your a$$. It’s true. You really have it!! It’s all of those planets, along with Jupiter, that rest in your 1H, closely hugging your SN in Sag (intuition). And you have that 12H concentration too (we can talk about this party going on in your 12H another time). All of this, coupled with your SN, comes together as your warehouse full of spiritual strength. Your lines of least resistance are to fall back into that independent, internalized safety zone of intuitive knowledge and spiritual strength within you. Reaching for your NN is more painful because it sits next to chiron (which triggers more painful squares to very important rulers). HOWEVER...... did you know that your NN is the best possible node placement? A couple of years ago, I spoke with an astrologer who commented that NN is exalted in Gem and domicile in Virgo. I since haven’t been able to validate this outside of theory due to my hectic schedule for the past several years, but I did come across Vedic teachings that also recognized NN Gem as the best possible placement. And when I observe people with NN Gem, I can see why because I’m always so impressed. There is something very natural and ideal about how NN Gem people function when they come from a place of intuitive understanding and apply that through reason (the process of moving information from sag to gem), and it fits perfectly with the purpose of a nodal axis and how such an axis is supposed to function in our lives. For example, it has been a complete pleasure for me to read many of your posts, whether they are personal opinions or social commentary. There’s another little NN Gem who likes to run around here (he knows who he is!) and he does the same thing. Both of you regularly demonstrate why that NN works so well. Another point: your NN has even more super powers! Scholars of Chiron have noted that Chiron in Gemini is often common in people who stuttered as children, and if not stuttering, then experienced some kind of suppression in being able to express themselves as kids through their childhood environment. Chiron in Gem plays out in a variety of ways, all related to Gem issues, but the effect is the same. Later, as adults, these natives are able to carry forward this experience with a deeper understanding of the power and healing potential of words, language, and communication because of their experience in struggling to find exactly the right words to express themselves as kids. It’s that experience of having been blocked in that area of life that offers you the superpower that you have today of knowing just what to say and how to say it so that it has a healing effect on others. You are ultra-sensitive to the power of words in interpersonal communication. This is an example of how the dual-nature of Chiron comes into play and how it got the archetype of the “wounded healer.” Harsh words or insensitive communication from others is still deeply painful for you, but it’s that extreme sensitivity that allows you to know how to maximize the potential of Gemini functions with sensitive precision.

By the way, did you notice how that mars/venus (which is painfully smashed by your hubby’s most insecure side in synastry) squares your nodal axis? One trick in evolutionary astrology is to look at which node had last touched a planet that squares it. The nodes move in retrograde motion. So in your case, that would be your NN. That means the NN is where you should focus our energies to unlock the potential for your evolution, which AGAIN takes us back to what I outlined above in your 7H: Gemini dc, NN Gem, and Chiron Gem..... You have a unique power to express yourself in well in interpersonal relations. I'm wondering if there's a way to utilize this in your relationship with hubby as that pSun makes it's way to the asc?

When someone hits you with his pluto and saturn in the way that you are being hit in the most sensitive places, there is no way around it: it’s painful. You are on the receiving end of his darkest side. It’s just what happens in synastry when your inner planets contact the planets responsible for another’s unconscious side. As soon as I pulled up his chart, I had to take a step back for a minute because I felt it in my gut. This is really intense synastry. Any of the grievances you’ve aired on this forum are like falling feathers compares to the reality of what you feel in your heart, and I completely understand that now. But he doesn’t understand what he’s doing to you because he’s reacting from his subconscious (a need to control – that darn saturn/pluto!) at how you hit him right at his most sensitive and vulnerable sides. You trigger his shadow side that reacts compulsively out of self-defense.

I’m sorry it took me so long to respond. I understand the pain that you’re feeling. These kinds of relationships are very intense. When someone’s planets hit you so directly, and they are planets tied to natal afflictions within the other person, for you (the receiver) it feels like you have your finger stuck in an electrical outlet because of all the intense energy that keeps hitting you (no wonder you need to take shelter in your warehouse, right?). I wanted to take a moment to point out the potential that rests in your 7H and how that’s connected to your little “rants.” Rants from NN Gems are always the best.

I hope you had a good day.

sadge said:

Hi Abbs….. thank you for your patience. Sorry it took me so long to respond. This is a..........................................

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I agree with what you say. Firstly yes like I got a wonderful intelligent pen pal from overseas when our progressed Venus and mercury planets aligned.

On another note I have noticed progressed planets signifying things will happen. Funny thing is in feb 2018 my progressed asc ruler and desc ruler will tribe and my hudband's will square. Then in a couple years our charts do the opposite. Weird.

As for transits Uranus will finally be in Taurus (yessss, my favourite sign for planets to be in) and it will trine my mars Venus conjunction in that liberating 11th house. So I'm sure I will feel liberated in some way.

You're amazing! It's like you read my thoughts. I was just dreaming this morning about my Gemini nn and sun probably same time as you were writing this message.

I mean yeah, the one guy in my life who reflected the most pain in me had sun and mercury in Gemini conjunct my nn. It wasn't supposed to be a relationship but he triggered all the wounds I didn't know I had. But I started to tick things off my list over the last 14 years. So I think the sun and mercury of this guy represented fun, flirting, children (5th house stuff) and his intelligent well spoken yet self absorbed mercury wife. It hurt because I was lacking all that they had. I was 19, I worked in a dental clinic - a job that had nothing to do with me. Life was depressing. I was single and lonely and my life was just work for the crappiest pay. No recognition etc. then I met that guy. His partner was a teacher. And for me, at that age it was like someone had put a gun to my head. I felt so low, being just a dental assistant, a nobody, I never thought I was good enough to go to uni, and I didn't have the family support to do it either. So all this stuff of no worth came up as follows - I'm single, I have no fun in my life or partner, I just work at a place ppl don't notice me for barely any pay, I didn't get the support I needed from my father all my life to be anything better, I have difficulty with speed of reading and therefore didn't get the exam grades I could have to be able to get into uni. So the guy's partner was a HUGE trigger for me. She was all those Gemini things like my NN that I wanted to be but never was. And I'm wounded by it as represented by Chiron there. So what I did was I unconsciously started doing the things she is. It's kinda weird. It's just that she represents all the things I deeply need to heal myself. And it's weird that it's through the guy I felt this pain. So far, having the children has released a lot of energy, especially with my father. Secondly being with my partner too. I also went to uni to prove I was smart enough and I got high destinctions with my assignments but just a pass for my exams which proved my problems with reading. In addition, I actually see myself having a prominent role with children in the school and I see myself publishing my book. Ahhh that feels better. Much better. So you managed to analyse my chart so well I congratulate you and thank you for helping me and teaching me where I need to be and what I need to do. Now it almost seems as though the relationship has nothing to do with it at all and it's all to do with the Gemini healing. Which means I better get onto it. Thank you Sadge. You're the best. Big hugs ❤️ and kisses to you.

Sadge I just also wanted to say you made me feel better cos my dad just started to see his ex again. The one who told him he had to choose between me or her when I was 13. And he chose her!!!! So the issues are all brought up again. But the funny part is, when I read what you say about Gemini and moving forward in that direction I feel so much better. Astrologically Chiron is in opposition to my father, Uranus. But translating that to real life, as soon as I'm independent doing the 'gemini' things we discussed that I actually enjoy, I feel so much better. Like my dad's ex was so dumb, she would say 'Abby, sex is very important, the most important thing in the world.' This vulture heavily relies on sexing lots of men to get money out of them. That's all she knows and does. However I believe that being self sufficient and happy with yourself is the most important thing in the world.

sadge said:

Sorry Abbs.....I cut out a bunch of my post. It was too long. I'll send it to you by PM instead, along with some other stuff on your 12H placements in relation to your nodes. I think you'll enjoy it. It is possible to dissect your nodes even more but it would have added another 20 inches in length to the post.

I hope you're enjoying your new home? Man, after I looked at Hubby's chart, I could see why it was CRITICAL for you guys to move away from her. It would be even better if you could move hours away....or to another country.

Catch you soon.

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Yes I agree moving far is better but I love where we live.

I also want to point out a few things about society and relationships that makes me uncomfortable.

I don't watch the bachelor. I hate uncomfortable closed reality Tv shows like this. All the pressure on being perfect and then having to stick around through the awkwardness when a girl realises they are not a match. However, I do look at the final outcome. It's always the same. The guy chooses an independent woman who can look after herself and doesn't 'need' him. She is self sufficient and usually has a supportive family but the main thing I notice is despite having good looks and being emotionally balanced (unlike my mil lol) these women who win have their own working life... and a successful one too. Commonly lawyers. Women who can get rid of the guy as soon as he messes the line... and I like this. Two strong ppl joining where the relationship is equal. I like this. But at the same time, with my inherited genetic pregnancy symptoms I need to be dependent on others to be able to have children and become a mother. So even though I agree with this ideal that my kind of relationship would be more equal, my pregnancies make me weak and get in the way.

The funny part is, when I do get my life on track with my career I know I will attract exactly the man I like but I think it will make me feel rather uncomfortable at the same time.