Hi. Fire and Water.
I,m really sorry to hear of your predicament. Being homeless must be a challenge to take care of your own physical needs so contemplating the extra responsibility of having someone else to look after must be a real worry for you. Unfortunately I can not provide you with any solution. All I can hope to do is cast some light on who you are and perhaps where you are at the moment. In addition this is only my personal 'take' on your chart. All astrologers basically use the same tools but what we produce is individual.
Yes you are basically a fire and water type but all 4 elements do have representation in your chart. Scorpio and Sagittarius may be adjacent signs but their expression is very different. It is as if you have to deal with, encounter and experience all of the Plutonic, Scorpio element of life and yourself before you can encounter the inner Sagittarian. Having Pluto and the Moon in Scorpio close to the Ascendant (rising) gives you great perceptive sensitivity. It can make you very intense and impassioned but life and your own nature can seem like a real battle for survival a lot of the time. Planets an signs on the ascendant can also reflect your own entry into this world so your birth may have been an overwhelming difficult experience for you, your mother or both. Saturn also comes into the equation suggesting a long, drawn out affair. The Moon is not in its most comfortable placement in Scorpio and with the connections to both Pluto and Saturn the early home environment and particularly the relationship with our own Mother may not have been felt as emotionally supportive.This will probably contribute to how you are feeling now. As you are still quite young and homeless also it can be assumed that your family, if there is one, are not in a position to support you now either. The position of the moon also reflects that you will not be taking this current situation lightly. Your natural nurturing needs to take care off anything are strong and probably extra sensitive if compounded by your own feelings of rejection.
I drew up your chart on another astro' programme which looks at the fixed stars. Your rising star is 'ANTARES'. The rising star is what you bring with you into this life. Antares is the star at the heart of the Scorpion. Yet another Scorpionic ingredient to who you are. There is tremendous focus, passion and intensity but always a risk of becoming obsessed with something or someone even. Your setting star (a new direction in life to be explored) is 'PHACT'. This is the star at the bow of the ship ARGOS and signifies adventure, dealing with life's real issues head on, taking the lead and initiative. To me it seems like your rising star encompasses all of these Plutonic traits and your setting star brings in more of this optimistic adventurous Sagittarian element. Wherever you go in life and whatever your situation I feel you are going to deal with the extremes of life situations and never turn your back on your own past. A contact between Mars and Pluto suggests that you are a survivor and have an innate instinct that just over the horizon is something new.
You mentioned deep depressive episodes in the past which is not really surprising considering the depth of your feeling nature and a tendency to be quite critical and harsh on yourself. Whenever I look at a chart I like to look back at pick out a couple of periods which would have been important for the individual.
Back in 2007/8 transiting Pluto was passing back and forth over your Sun. This would have been a time of transition, even transformation. Pluto signifies life and death, beginnings and endings. Death does not necessarily mean physical death but there is an ending to something so a need to let go in order to move on. Something felt overwhelming and you may have felt out of control of your own feelings and situation at the time.
Another important time was around 2011 give or take a year. Your progressed Sun is moving slowly over both Uranus and Neptune. Much is changing in your life and in some ways you feel a need to break free, escape but in other ways you feel lost and not grounded, insecure. There may have been issues concerning who you were mixing with and what direction you were taking as a result. Even these periods in some way reveal that you can and do cope with things even the most difficult things. Hopefully you can look back on these periods as a source of strength through your experiences.
Another point I look at in a chart is the axis of the Moon's nodes. The south node can indicate a past life or early life experience which you are endeavoring to move away from into what the north node represents. Your South Node in Gemini and the 8th house and opposing the Sun. This could suggest being pulled by another into a situation where you were not in control but possibly manipulated. The south node can be considered to act in its negative sense so Gemini and the 8th house is the mind envisioning all sorts of dark possibilities and anxieties connected to traumas experienced when young or from a past life. From what you said, it seems this is where your mind is at present. You are rightfully trying to rationalise all consequences of all choices but what your mind fears most is taking itself back to that dark place. Your North Node conjunct the Sun in the second house is pointing you towards a new path. This is where you find yourself, have belief in yourself, confident in your own inner resources to deal with life and all it had to offer, brush yourself down and look with optimism towards your own future. The story of the nodes is that early in life we maty rush towards the North Node. Later on we realise that there is something from the South we have to retrieve and once accepted and aknowledged we can then proceed with more awareness towards the North. In the context of your own story it could mean throwing yourself into a life with no responsibilities and attachments with an initial feeling of joy, optimism and adventure, but later on needing to experience the extremes and intensity of life, its raw emotions, just as you are now, before moving forward into a freedom from your fears because of the strength you have within.
I think i will finish that here for now. Presently typing with one finger with one hand as the other hand decommisioned for now in a splint. Anyway I hope this is of some use for you. Take care
michael
