Most Difficult Aspects In Synastry

[Plutonian Persona]

This thread is an off-shoot of my discussions about the relationship that I have with my fiancee in "highly emotional personality" and was suggested by Nexus7. The gist of my posts on this thread was that our relationship has many hard Saturn aspects, thus limiting emotional responses to a degree.

To me, the toughest aspects in synastry as a whole are:

Sun squared Mars, in fixed signs

Hard Saturn aspects to the personal planets.

Hard Pluto aspects to the personal planets.

What do you think are the most difficult synastry aspects? What are your experiences with them?

[Shadowflash]

Just really fast on the fly here: Moon square Moon! When emotional- experiential frames of reference just don't understand each other *naturally,* empathically...and if the people involved aren't equally-naturally-inclined toward self-awareness and utilizing what goes on between them toward personal growth together...yowza, that can be a recipe for a very particular relationship hell. I've seen Moon-Moon oppositions that can work out more easily; apparently because of the energetic Mirror/Polarity game the opposition offers... ;-> I've seen even Mercury square Mercury work out better, because the energy of *inability to connect, to see each other's point of view* seems to have more chance of recycling continually back into an effort to continue trying. Less inclination to take the disconnect so personally because Mercury/mentality is a bit more neutral. Errrr...maybe unless they're in a fixed square. Or water signs! I dunno.

Just...yeah, I've seen Moon square Moon be the dealbreaker in relationships even when there'd appear to be sufficient "glue" from Saturn to personals...

[Hey]

Talk about Saturn. I swear. When I was in school, many of my personal planets aspected people's Saturn (mostly conjunct or square). Many people wouldn't go near me.
Even in my personal relationships, which are few, Saturn plays a big role. I've grown to think that fun comes last. I don't really care if I'm enjoying my time with people. When it comes to friendships or relations of any kind, loyalty matters. I've been with my friend for many years, and although we don't have fun all the time, we stick together. Another old friend of mine couldn't take the heat and ran away. She was irresponsible.

[Nexus7]

At one time there was a pattern in my life regarding relationships which I hope I have outgrown now, because as far as I am concerned it was not a particularly healthy pattern. I have a natal Venus square Neptune and tended to pick up the Saturns of various partners or 'friends' who often wanted to be more than 'just friends.' whose Saturns were making either conjunctions, oppositions or squares to this aspect. It is what someone once called my 'lame duck' attrractor, as these people often had problems that made them either very clingy or possessive. They did have a way of making feel responsible for this conundrum and that I was being heartless or selfish for not understanding their love or their need.

The last time this happened was in the case of an artist whose company I still miss in other ways because as an artist, he was very much on a wavelength. However, he was also telling me things like I was lucky to have found him because soon I would be too old to get anyone else and that my style of dress made me look ugly. At first, I just thought that this was just cultural differences, but in the end his comments about being ugly did start to get to me a little.

Well, I suppose in this case it has to be a question of 'never mind the synastry' - I would put a stop to tactics like that hopefully right in the bud now, as well as severing anyone out of my life from the start if I liked them only as a friend, but suspected that they might want more than that.

In my family, by brother has his Saturn in my Venus and so does my mother, it is fairly close to my Moon too. There was a lot of emphasis on 'not being selfish' when I was growing up and at school, too much on good Christian values of a Patient Griselda stripe, Sacrifice in Love and all that.

There are other friends and parters where there are other pretty meaty synatreis to say the least, but they have endured. Some Saturn links can be easier to deal with than others I think because they are more easily externalised and in fact, a synastry with no Saturn links is sometimes reckoned not to have the staying power.

To Pluto I would also add Neptune to aspects in synastries that might be problematical, because of the misunderstandings that can develop in its wake. However, there are many relationships other than marriages or lovers which might need to be considered in this context.

[Plutonian Persona]

I would definitely have to agree with Shadowflash on Moon square Moon, that is a horrific aspect! I have had the unfortunate experience of having to deal with it in several of my relationships and it is not fun at all. I've also seen two otherwise VERY compatible people be constantly on edge around each other because they had no idea how to deal with each other's emotional reactions (Leo Moon vs. Scorpio Moon, OUCH).

Saturn is a tricky planet. My relationship with my fiancee is the first time that I have ever had to deal with this planet head-on in synastry and its effects are both a blessing and a curse. Although, as Nexus7 notes, Saturn is necessary for staying power and my current relationship is the one that has lasted the longest by far.