Lost

[M_cutter]

Hi

This is my chart and I am feeling rather lost and depressed lately. I even had several nightmares about my life, which is not common. First one came when I dreamt that my bf didn't love me anymore and then not much later this bf of 2 years have left me for another girl. And it's not such a bad thing, I've been very positive about it and we are still friends. I constantly battling with the emotional side of me, questioning why do I have to "FEEL" so much, being a cancerian. I want to be strong and powerful like an aries/leo and carefree like a saggi. And I feel at times I am capable and popular but sometimes I just feel extremely lost about my own identity.

Mostly happens when I am single, I dread the loneliness too much. Am I trying to suppress my "cancerian" traits so much cos I hate it so much... I hate the emotional side of me because when I dated an aries, I loved how they just know what they want and never let anything get in the way, especially ruled by the head not heart. He told me that I was being "too accomodating" in the relationship but I felt I did everything right, my aim was to make him happy and so much sacrifices on my part. Maybe an aries man need a challenge. I think to be successful in life you have to sacrifice your emotional sides.

Yet when I dated Pisces and Virgos (whom i'm connected to get along with very well). I was always the heartbreaker and now I've become the heartbroken by an ARIES!! gawd I swear i don't want to date another aries, yet i KNOW i am SOOO attracted by their zest!

Well, to sum it up, I really feel like I am just "losing" myself and don't know what's the best way to deal with it all.