40 things you WISH you could say at work.

[Scorpio5]

Not astrologically related AT ALL,but it gave me a much needed chuckle. I hope it does the same for someone else:


40 things you WISH you could say at work...

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
6. I'll try being...nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the *****-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a ****.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I, flypaper for freaks!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office, it's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder -- my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career -- turns out I just wanted paychecks.
39. Sure, you came up with that idea.
40. I'd love to help you, but it's 5:00 PM.

[Neptune Rising]

When I worked full time in an office, one that came up very often... "you can stick your job"

[retinoid]

Yes I do 'love' corporate fakeness and culture.

[Moog]

booobies x40

[Neptune Rising]

Also, "what did your last slave did of?" ...

another old office favourite of mine!

[byjove]

"You're all idiots and I want complete control of the company, now!"

I love that opening list!

[Neptune Rising]

Ah office nostalgia - I wasn't a happy soul being cooped up in a box all day..

"viva revolution!"

[Prisma]

So why not make some of it astrological, and try to assign signs, aspects, etc to the remarks?

30.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

Libra with Aries Asc./ Gem third house Manager to a Scorpio and Sag employee behind their backs.

9.

It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

A Taurus to the Gemini colleage, about a memo.
2.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

Gemini to Taurus in return.

4.

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

The Sag, to both the Taurus and Gemini, trying to point out in a funny way that there is an inspection going on. They both anwser with an evil look.

His response?

5.

I'm really easy to get along with, once you people learn to worship me.

Sag has some Leo asc. and/or prominent Jupiter in that day's transits chart.

Note: Manager overhears, nods and laughs.

17.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

A Pisces, speaking like his Aquarius Counselor alternate personality to the Gemini.

19.

What am I, flypaper for freaks!

Gemini screams. Maybe that Gemini realizes the posibility of some Uranus / Uranus aspects in the 6th, 7th or 5th?

Manager hears Gemini screaming, just as she spots an sudden goverment visit.

27.

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

Sags final joke, as he leaves the office drama, along with Taurus.

10.

Ahhh...I see the *****-up fairy has visited us again.

Manager prepares to meet the visitor at her private office.

7.

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

Overworked Virgo at the phone in a cubicle near. Later, he tells himself:
21 & 26.

It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.

He has been reading some self-help books Pisces recomended.

8. & 18

I don't work here. I'm a consultant. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

Aquarius /Virgo asc. inspector to a Cancer confused client while walking away to Manager's office and making notes of the incidents.

16.

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

Libra with Aries Asc. Manager trying to be polite to the Aquarius/ Virgo Asc. Inspector findings.

29.

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

Libra with Aries Asc. Manager making mental note of the next list of lay-off workers-'cause it is never the boss' fault. She go with the list to Human Resources.

24.

Do I look like a people person?

Desperate Capricorn Human resource secretary to the complaints of both frustrated Cancer and Gemini.

15.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Cancer client to Capricorn and Libra/ Aries asc. Manager, before taking her complaints and busines elsewhere.

Manager ads another name to the list, and thinks of her own job & neck.

25.

This isn't an office, it's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

Scorpio, planing his next course of action...

36.

Chaos, panic, & disorder -- my work here is done.

Scorpio's revenge after quitting... Oh yeah, he heard the fashion comment, before going to the secret meeting with the inspector. How you look now, boss?

[Gaqua77]

One more sentence:

"I m getting bored of your talks, plz let me hve a nap, then we will continue."