New love interest

[Becca]

Hi everybody :-)

I met this Gemini guy 7 years ago. We've always enjoyed each other's company, there have always been sparks. We weren't more than friends because he was too young.
Now, he's back in my life again. 4 weeks ago, we started texting each other again. He wanted to see me, but I was packing for my holiday abroad. When I got back, last Wednesday, we spent a fantastic night together. The entire next day we texted each other and talked online, and then we saw each other on Friday night again. He is still a student, so he had to head back to another town where he studies on Saturday. Last time we texted each other was on Saturday, and now he's not sending me anything, and I'm going nuts. It's confusing me because he was so much into me.
I need advice about how to handle the "relationship" with him. Transiting Venus conjunct my natal Venus 10 days ago, so I think my timing for love was right. And, thanks gen6k for predicting it. I don't know what's plugging my love life from running smoothly like when I was younger.
I'd be very grateful if someone read our charts. I'm attaching our composite, synastry, my and his transits.

[IleneK]

Originally Posted by Becca

Hi everybody :-)

I met this Gemini guy 7 years ago. We've always enjoyed each other's company, there have always been sparks. We weren't more than friends because he was too young.
Now, he's back in my life again. 4 weeks ago, we started texting each other again. He wanted to see me, but I was packing for my holiday abroad. When I got back, last Wednesday, we spent a fantastic night together. The entire next day we texted each other and talked online, and then we saw each other on Friday night again. He is still a student, so he had to head back to another town where he studies on Saturday. Last time we texted each other was on Saturday, and now he's not sending me anything, and I'm going nuts. It's confusing me because he was so much into me.
I need advice about how to handle the "relationship" with him. Transiting Venus conjunct my natal Venus 10 days ago, so I think my timing for love was right. And, thanks gen6k for predicting it. I don't know what's plugging my love life from running smoothly like when I was younger.
I'd be very grateful if someone read our charts. I'm attaching our composite, synastry, my and his transits.

Hi, Becca.

I can see a wonderful connection between you as his Sun conjuncts your Moon. And your Uranus trines his Moon, which can be exciting and unexpected. The problem, I think, may reside, though, with his Moon, and with the composite Moon.

His natal Moon, the seat of his inner feeling life, is in Aries. And this combines with a lot of initiating and moving energy in his natal planetary placements, and hardly any grounded, fixed energy, except for Pluto. Aries is not a particularly easy sign for the the Moon, as it can have a hairpin trigger. And right now, his Moon is undergoing radical and deep transformation:

• Uranus stationed directly on his Moon last month and will pass over again in April of 2013, and then station direct again! at the end of next year. That by itself, is a lot for anyone to undergo and process.
• This is against a background of transiting Pluto squaring his Moon since the end of last year, contacting again this December, and then stationing direct within orb again! in September 2013.

These stations from Uranus and Pluto to the Moon are very powerful and long.

I don't see this as a complete write-off, but, under these circumstances, you can see how he might not be the best candidate to share his feeling life right now with another person. His behaviour, as it reflects his feelings, may be quite unpredictable, like today, and I would expect that it may be extremely difficult for him to know his feelings anytime in the near future.

And all of this seems restated to me in the composite chart by Pluto, very strong in its dignity and the 1st house, opposing the 7th house Moon in Taurus.

[Becca]

Hi, IleneK.

Thank you very much for your reply.

Here's what happened. He didn't text me, so last night I decided to text him. I kept the conversation light, and asked him how he was and how his studying was progressing. In his reply he stated he was going to text me when he came back home. He was either in public transportation or riding a bicycle (the words sound ambiguous in my language). We sent each other a few more text messages, and in one I asked him whether to let him know I am in his town when I go there (I didn't state the time and date, it was a general question). He told me that he studies all day long, and is too tired to even speak at night, so that he probably won't have time for me, but that I can anyhow let him know when I'm there.

This was such a slap in the face! I feel hurt, heartbroken, used, etc. I feel like an almost dead horse being beaten and defeated in love for the millionth time. I've been upset, couldn't eat or sleep normally, got diarrhea, my nerves are wrecked... Yes, it's my fault too. I brought it on myself. :-(
He can't be that busy, noone can. If he has time to go out, he can have an hour for me. We don't have to spent 6-7 hours each time we see each other. But, then again, maybe he was out to buy himself groceries.
I don't know what to think. I've learned that people are different and I don't want to judge anyone. With my Venus in Cancer in trine with serious Saturn I'm the happiest in stable relationships. I'm like a cotton candy - soft and sweet, men want to taste me, but I want to stick to them and melt in their hands...

When will my love life change for the better? Do you see someone special entering my life in the near future? What will that man be like? Where will I meet him?
I'm adding some more charts, maybe they'll help.

[IleneK]

Originally Posted by Becca

Hi, IleneK.

Thank you very much for your reply.

Here's what happened. He didn't text me, so last night I decided to text him. I kept the conversation light, and asked him how he was and how his studying was progressing. In his reply he stated he was going to text me when he came back home. He was either in public transportation or riding a bicycle (the words sound ambiguous in my language). We sent each other a few more text messages, and in one I asked him whether to let him know I am in his town when I go there (I didn't state the time and date, it was a general question). He told me that he studies all day long, and is too tired to even speak at night, so that he probably won't have time for me, but that I can anyhow let him know when I'm there.

This was such a slap in the face! I feel hurt, heartbroken, used, etc. I feel like an almost dead horse being beaten and defeated in love for the millionth time. I've been upset, couldn't eat or sleep normally, got diarrhea, my nerves are wrecked... Yes, it's my fault too. I brought it on myself. :-(
He can't be that busy, noone can. If he has time to go out, he can have an hour for me. We don't have to spent 6-7 hours each time we see each other. But, then again, maybe he was out to buy himself groceries.
I don't know what to think. I've learned that people are different and I don't want to judge anyone. With my Venus in Cancer in trine with serious Saturn I'm the happiest in stable relationships. I'm like a cotton candy - soft and sweet, men want to taste me, but I want to stick to them and melt in their hands...

When will my love life change for the better? Do you see someone special entering my life in the near future? What will that man be like? Where will I meet him?
I'm adding some more charts, maybe they'll help.

What I see are two things. First, you are in the midst of your Saturn return, a time when we begin to understand better what is necessary for us to mature by paying attention, being present and showing reserve. It is usually demonstrated by learning what we should not do, by hard lessons, and this current example may be just that. So, you really need to slow down and take inventory [Saturn] to better understand your error in this matter, so you can avert it in the future.

The second thing is that you have a strong connection between your Taurus stellium, ruled by Venus in Cancer, which is ruled by Moon in Gemini, which ruled by Mercury back in Cancer. It makes kind of a garland of personal planets linked together in the early signs of zodiac-Taurus-Gemini-Cancer. You need to keep things simple and down-to-earth, communicating with those nearby, rather than at long distances electronically, and where demonstrated caring is a prerequisite before you conclude that you are in to someone, or they are in to you.

Demonstrated caring...Saturn trine Venus in Cancer...strengthened in importance as Venus also rules Saturn.

I would let the fallout from this incident clear and begin pay attention to yourself. Get really clear about what kind of person you need to be with and what kind of circumstances you will expose yourself to accomplish it before posing all the other questions above. Your Saturn return concludes in early October.

[Vista]

Let this be a lesson to you, not sure what transpired between you two, but do not get serious or intimate with someone until you absolutely know they are in love with you or at the very least, want a monogamous relationship.

This guy is telling you loud and clear he does not want anything serious with you. This sounds about right as he has Moon square Uranus, Saturn and Neptune in his 5th house of romance. This is not the first time he's done something like this. You have Venus opposite Neptune, you might look at men with rose colored glasses and see something more significant than what there really is. There is an imbalance in your relationships, it can also point to wanting men who are not available. This was your wake-up call. You have Moon opposite Uranus, any hard aspect from Moon to Uranus makes one slightly erratic with their emotions as he is displaying by blowing you off. It can make one irritable and slightly off balance. I would say get yourself in check, forget about this guy and do not text him again!!! He needs to make the effort which clearly he's not. Always let the guy take the lead and always keep your self respect. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Pick yourself up by the seat of your pants and start dating others.

PS. The age difference between you is very significant at this point. He is in his early 20's, not typically a time when a guy wants to get serious especially when they are in college!! Try dating men your own age or even in their 30's and I think you will be more likely to find someone who is on the same page as you emotionally.

[Becca]

IleneK, thank you so much for your fast reply!

I knew that I'm in the first Saturn return, but I haven't realized it's impacting my love life so much. I though it would reflect more on my job since my natal Saturn is in my 10th house. Thank you for pointing out to me that it has a broader impact on me. This summer I've been feeling very impatient and restless to meet someone. I'll take your advice, and try to calm myself a little, and, hopefully, won't repeat my mistakes.
Btw, I like your avatar. I adore cats <^..^>

[Becca]

Hi Vista!

Thank you for your wonderful advice. I would have written something similar if I had read someone did what I did. I'm not promiscuous, I had 2 long relationships, I usually argue with guys who hit on me and ask me for sex. I always turn them down. I don't like men who like to change women. I need everyday contact with a boyfriend, an exclusive and romantic relationship, stability.
I need to learn to be patient, uh...
Ok, I won't text him, and I hope by the time he texts me, I'll be stronger.

[Vista]

Originally Posted by Becca

Hi Vista!

Thank you for your wonderful advice. I would have written something similar if I had read someone did what I did. I'm not promiscuous, I had 2 long relationships, I usually argue with guys who hit on me and ask me for sex. I always turn them down. I don't like men who like to change women. I need everyday contact with a boyfriend, an exclusive and romantic relationship, stability.
I need to learn to be patient, uh...
Ok, I won't text him, and I hope by the time he texts me, I'll be stronger.

You are welcome and don't beat yourself up over it either! Sometimes we meet men that makes us act out of character. If you always remind yourself if someone wants to see you they will, you will always have your answer. Also, the age I think more than anything is a huge factor. He's probably looking at you as someone who is ready to settle down. That alone could scare a 23 year old away!! Don't take it personally! I really hope you find someone else....

[IleneK]

Originally Posted by Becca

IleneK, thank you so much for your fast reply!

I knew that I'm in the first Saturn return, but I haven't realized it's impacting my love life so much. I though it would reflect more on my job since my natal Saturn is in my 10th house. Thank you for pointing out to me that it has a broader impact on me. This summer I've been feeling very impatient and restless to meet someone. I'll take your advice, and try to calm myself a little, and, hopefully, won't repeat my mistakes.
Btw, I like your avatar. I adore cats <^..^>

You are welcome, Becca. Your Saturn return is emphasized by its house, and also sign [ruled by Venus in the 7th, using Placidus] and aspects [trined by Venus in the 7th]. So, while it likely calls into focus matters of career, it clearly asks for thoughtfulness and calm connected with your relationship life, too.

I am wishing you the best, Becca.

[Becca]

A huge THANK YOU to both of you, Vista and IleneK for your emotional support. *hugs*

@Vista: I'm not taking it personally. I understand what you're saying. I need constructive criticism, too.

@IlreneK: Ah, if only I knew that when the Saturn return started. I completely ignored that the ruler of Libra is Venus. So, Venus is impacting my chart quite a lot, isn't it?

[IleneK]

Originally Posted by Becca

@IleneK: Ah, if only I knew that when the Saturn return started. I completely ignored that the ruler of Libra is Venus. So, Venus is impacting my chart quite a lot, isn't it?

It is.

And your Saturn return began last February as transiting Saturn stationed retrograde exactly to the degree and second of its natal position. So it was in orb, within a degree, for about a month on either side of the exact hit.

It comes back for its final, quick contact in October.

[Becca]

So, it's another 6-7 weeks of torture for me.
As for the Gemini guy, I forgot to write what initially made me hook up with him. Simply put, he checked my many boxes. He's attractive, intelligent, communicative, from educated parents, working on his education, not smoking or drinking, never tried drugs. I'm all that too, and more, and where I live it's very hard to find a guy who doesn't smoke, is educated and is single.
I wish I were more patient about my love life. And sorry for venting out so much.

[IleneK]

Originally Posted by Becca

So, it's another 6-7 weeks of torture for me.
As for the Gemini guy, I forgot to write what initially made me hook up with him. Simply put, he checked my many boxes. He's attractive, intelligent, communicative, from educated parents, working on his education, not smoking or drinking, never tried drugs. I'm all that too, and more, and where I live it's very hard to find a guy who doesn't smoke, is educated and is single.
I wish I were more patient about my love life. And sorry for venting out so much.

Not torture, Becca. Learning. I really don't hear you understanding how you made a really poor choice because you did not give yourself time [Saturn] to get to know who this guy really is. Saturn can bring a lot of suffering long after its return if you don't get the lesson, sweetheart.

No apologies needed for the venting. If you do it enough, you may get it all out, calm down, and take the dispassionate look at matters that is required of you.