What are your coping methods?

Prominent · #1 08-21-2012, 04:08 AM

When you are stressed or dealing with anxiety, what types of coping methods do you use?

sequestra · #2 08-21-2012, 04:45 AM

Good question. I still don't have any efficient ones. Closest I get is running to whoever will talk to me and offloading it all on them, with this childlike expectation that they'll fix it. I have very infantile, primitive coping "methods" that I really must work on. Hopefully this will give me some fresh ideas, because the conventional methods never worked for me.

Fifth House Sun · #3 08-21-2012, 06:19 AM

wild caught smoked salmon, red wine, and a pack of wolves

and a walk in the woods

Anachiel · #4 08-21-2012, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prominent

When you are stressed or dealing with anxiety, what types of coping methods do you use?

I consider the best that can (or could) be happening, then I look at the worst that could be or have happened. Then, I give thanks for where I am and what I have (count all the blessings I can think of no matter how small) and then do what is before me that needs to be done.

Prominent · #5 08-22-2012, 12:12 AM

sequestra, I tend to do similar things. I often feel constricted and have to release my thoughts to anyone who will listen, but lately it seems like there are less and less people willing to listen because it seems like there are less people who understand or are willing to understand. Or maybe I'm just becoming more aware to the fact that most people can't help even if I want to imagine that they could.

Anachiel, I try to do that sometimes, but usually i recognize this attempt as something that would mask my true feelings towards things. It's hard for me to ignore what I feel and why I feel it. I wouldn't want to devalue any small part of my presence in an attempt to flee from my true self for the sake of feeling good momentarily.
A lot of my pain comes from trying to be myself and not being capable of doing so because other things get in my way. For me I guess coping should consist of more than just mind games.

KingNoOne · #6 08-22-2012, 12:43 AM

Music and writing.

Nothing is more perfect for me than absorbing muse through music and then writing. Writing anything really, poetry, short stories or just anything that my fingers can put on paper.

Also there is a thrill in competitive games for myself. The strive for self improvement is incredibly gratifying especially when your hard earned practice blooms the fruits of results. Also speaking to people like was said before is great; I know that sometimes, atleast for me, it can be hard to really gain a sense of calm after speaking to them because you feel that they don't really understand what you're going through, but the act of speaking to them itself can be very stress relieving.

At the end of the day, you really only have yourself and that is where you must find strength; and believe me, it is there in abundance if you just look.

I hope you feel better! That is, unless you aren't feeling stressed and were just asking a question. Either way, cheers!

sequestra · #7 08-22-2012, 01:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prominent

sequestra, I tend to do similar things. I often feel constricted and have to release my thoughts to anyone who will listen, but lately it seems like there are less and less people willing to listen because it seems like there are less people who understand or are willing to understand. Or maybe I'm just becoming more aware to the fact that most people can't help even if I want to imagine that they could.

Perhaps this is a piscean tendency. Obviously my gemini moon in the 7th plays also a big part in the need to communicate my concerns. What are these worries that are on your mind - are they existential in nature?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prominent

I wouldn't want to devalue any small part of my presence in an attempt to flee from my true self for the sake of feeling good momentarily.

Well that's a great start, especially for a pisces sun

(I don't recall how much else you have in the sign, or your level of neptunianness). I certainly fled to anything that could make me feel better momentarily for a long while. I scarcely do this anymore, which I think is why I really haven't devised any decent coping strategies. Anachiel's advice is certainly good to keep in mind, and I must attempt this more often. It can be very hard when you are "in the moment", feeling an acute level of distress, but like anything else, if I don't start practicing it I'll never get any better at it and/or know if it could be truly effective for me. I don't see how the approach she suggested couldn't be ultimately effective, though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prominent

A lot of my pain comes from trying to be myself and not being capable of doing so because other things get in my way. For me I guess coping should consist of more than just mind games.

Are people/things really getting in your way? Could this not be remedied by adjusting your perception?

Prominent · #8 08-22-2012, 03:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sequestra

Perhaps this is a piscean tendency. Obviously my gemini moon in the 7th plays also a big part in the need to communicate my concerns. What are these worries that are on your mind - are they existential in nature?

I don't understand what you mean by existential. I have worries about everything, so maybe. Mostly I just want to figure out my place, because so much seems to cast me out or make me feel lost or unfounded. I spent most my life practicing my art- getting praise for it, etc. but yet I still haven't achieved anything that makes me feel appreciated or recognized as anything with any weight. It always continues this way, feeling undervalued or taken for granted or whatever and I mostly blame society for that- forcing people to respect only certain people or question only those who appear or act certain ways. As an artist, I see things perceptibly with a crisp eye for detail and it is hard for me to look past these flaws/fractures within people's understanding.. so to me it feels as if what I offer receives less support- maybe because most people are too afraid to let themselves be seen for what they are or that they aren't willing to show themselves/ they have to hide behind structured laws and methods that are supported in order to feel appreciated, as if those lies somehow flood away their own lies to themselves that they make everyday.. And when I try to show them a different perspective, or express myself my way they turn away because it is something they aren't familiar with, or something they'd rather forget. It just makes things difficult for me to accomplish anything.
But what do I know.

Quote:

Well that's a great start, especially for a pisces sun

(I don't recall how much else you have in the sign, or your level of neptunianness). I certainly fled to anything that could make me feel better momentarily for a long while. I scarcely do this anymore, which I think is why I really haven't devised any decent coping strategies. Anachiel's advice is certainly good to keep in mind, and I must attempt this more often. It can be very hard when you are "in the moment", feeling an acute level of distress, but like anything else, if I don't start practicing it I'll never get any better at it and/or know if it could be truly effective for me. I don't see how the approach she suggested couldn't be ultimately effective, though.

How different is that method to anything we already do? We all look at what has been done and what could be done. We focus on specific things as well and sometimes none of it works. Why should relying on one outlook be the answer to everything when you wouldn't even need that outlook if you had it already. It makes no sense to justify the now when the now is justified already by being here. When you realize why thing are the way they are, sometimes you realize nothing can be done now- sometimes you can't know when it could be done.. It's hard going when everything prior says that you aren't going anywhere.

Quote:

Are people/things really getting in your way? Could this not be remedied by adjusting your perception?

Maybe it can be remedied by adjusting if I felt like fleeing, but when I flee I get nowhere. What I have been increasingly feeling is that I have to be unwavering with my self to a point where things start changing FOR me..

JUPITERASC · #9 08-22-2012, 04:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prominent

When you are stressed or dealing with anxiety, what types of coping methods do you use?

Meditation, Music, Learn something, Walk among trees, rivers, streams or the sea

serafin5 · #10 08-22-2012, 06:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sequestra

Good question. I still don't have any efficient ones. Closest I get is running to whoever will talk to me and offloading it all on them, with this childlike expectation that they'll fix it. I have very infantile, primitive coping "methods" that I really must work on. Hopefully this will give me some fresh ideas, because the conventional methods never worked for me.

My Gawd Sequestra you sound like me! Ive tried almost everything once (some things more than that!) and I have come to the conclusion that I may never feel comfortable in my own skin, this is who I am, this is my life, so deal with it! Once I did this I have started to feel a peace that I soooo wish I knew when younger. God knows there are still issues but its a little bit better, speaking from the inside.

Skywomb · #11 08-22-2012, 04:58 PM

See my signature. ;-)
I just dump all the **** somewhere, hopefully not into the back off my head but straight out of it..

Well...all this time, and only now I'm really alive... I can't tell you "how". (I'm still figuring out who the hell I am, but who isn't doing that...)

Not that I'm some completely laidback person yet......but I will be, in ways I am already. Just looking at most people, I'm way ahead in every respect possible. Except normality.

I don't understand, but .. I'm way ahead of Jesus! /1124!

Skywomb · #12 08-22-2012, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JUPITERASC

Meditation, Music, Learn something, Walk among trees, rivers, streams or the sea

That I really like to do.

Bina · #13 08-22-2012, 05:20 PM

For me, what works best is to do something which i enjoy doing and which takes all my attention and concentration, so it takes my mind of whatever is stressing me and i can get some distance and perspective on the problem.

This can be reading, watching a good movie, playing on the internet, astrology, driving, practical work, gardening, swimming...

Music and being in nature can be very helpful to relax as well..

Skywomb · #14 08-22-2012, 07:01 PM

And speaking of "doing something" that's really what helps me. So true that Capricorn-ish people really need something on their hands not to get depressed....for me at least.

aquarius7000 · #15 08-22-2012, 07:51 PM

Hi,

I too have a very childlike approach most of the times, so I'd much rather not repeat it here to all you grown-ups.

However, from reading, etc I can share some 'tips and tricks' that can actually be applied, and may even help. For instance:

-if you feel you have the 'burnt crust' of the cake, whilst others are enjoying the 'icing on the cake': say this to yourself: it could have been a lot worse.

-if you are really mad at someone for whatever reason and are ready to yell at them: step back (literally), find a window possibly you can gaze out of, and count until 20. Anger is your worst enemy, justified or unjustified. Most of the times, after you have managed to count 20, your mind will start working again

-those moments of 'seeming' failures, unhappiness, emptiness, pessimism, and esp fear have this thing about them. Not sure, if you have ever noticed it, but there is almost a sense of security in fear. How? Fear (resulting out of pessimism, etc) is a very strong emotion, and takes the form of a capsule and surrounds one. When we fear something/someone/a situation, the emotion contrary to that is only: things can get better. Hence, an expectation or hope. To expect or to hope means the ultimate result (whatever that might be) is not yet there. Fear indirectly sends a message of you can keep hoping. It is a vicious circle, but fear 'keeps us busy', even secure. But unhealthily. Because reality can sometimes be different from expectation. And, what the mind needs most is to be involved in something, even if it is: fear.

When the above happens, the best is to follow Bina's advice, and do anything that will invoke a positive emotion within your-self. The aim is simple: to divert the mind, keeping it involved, but not in fear. Remember, the mind is what controls us ultimately. If the mind is fed with something positive, and it can only imbibe one thing at a time, it will change your personality. No matter how old or young you are.

- If there is a person that 'you feel' is all out to harm you, or you are insecure of, utopic as it may sound, look at their strengths. Find at least 3 positive points about them, and say these out to yourself at least 3 times. Yes, that number 3 is a very powerful and positive number. You will see how that negative emotion will leave you

And, a sure-shot remedy for every uneasy emotion is yoga. If you like and can consistently do even 30 mins of yoga everyday (no matter what time of the day), it helps tremendously, within a matter of 8-10 weeks, to change one's outlook and become more positively relaxed, way more relaxed. Yoga is real, silent healing for the '3' keys of being alive: the body, the mind, and the soul. Yoga can mean a re-birth/ a more healthy you in every way. And, the best plus most practical thing about yoga is that, except for a mat and some space for yourself, you need nothing. Not even a pair of walking shoes, or sunny weather (less excuses for not doing it

). No costs involved. Just you, yourself, and a schedule.

AQ7

JUPITERASC · #16 08-22-2012, 09:21 PM

Good advice aquarius7000! However, just the same, fwiw IMO those days when strong winds swirl are invigorating and no barrier to walking... even during a storm – ever seen lightning connect to the sea ?

Hot days can be challenging so any rain is soothing and very welcome as rain then enhances the experience of walking when no shade is provided by trees. It's all relative

Did you never consider doing Yoga asanas outdoors on a warm day? Fun!

grouch · #17 08-22-2012, 09:29 PM

I pray to God

Also , physical exercises,physical work(gardening,pulling out weeds etc),long walks makes me feel tired ,but at peace and happy.

aquarius7000 · #18 08-23-2012, 05:14 PM

Hi,

Quote:

Originally Posted by grouch

I pray to God

Also , physical exercises,physical work(gardening,pulling out weeds etc),long walks makes me feel tired ,but at peace and happy.

I can also endorse this. There is nothing stronger than prayers and performing good karma. Both cleanse the system, put one at peace, and give immense strength. Prayers are 'food' for our soul. Unfortunately, man has become too 'body' oriented. As long as we can keep ourselves and others that have any expectations of us satisfied, there is a sense of achievement that 'temporarily' fulfils us. It is only when we feel we are losing control in some way, do we turn to God, as fear and a sense of failure sets in.

As to long walks, well, I have become a bit lazy, summer days (always an excuse there

) for long walks. But, yes, they help tremendously.

AQ7

Lazy Cat · #19 08-23-2012, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prominent

I spent most my life practicing my art- getting praise for it, etc. but yet I still haven't achieved anything that makes me feel appreciated or recognized as anything with any weight.

I hear you! Same here. But think of it this way: you're already doing what you most love to do (your art). You love what you do, right? So, you're on the right path. You're on your way there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prominent

It's hard going when everything prior says that you aren't going anywhere

If you want to go somewhere, you have look ahead, not back. Looking back shows you who you are now, not who (or where) you're going to be.

Just my two cents... =)

Munch · #20 08-23-2012, 09:13 PM

Plain and "simple" detachment.

Notice the quotes around simple.

Some days I am much better than others at detaching from my situation and circumstances, but it IS the only method that has allowed me to keep a level head and not buried under emotion.

tautomer · #21 08-23-2012, 09:17 PM

Honestly, I don't really know. I sort of just cope and go with it. I try and appease my mind and emotions as much as I can when I am over my limit. It can ask for many different things to cope. So much so that I really can't articulate it well.

Prominent · #22 08-23-2012, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lazy Cat

I hear you! Same here. But think of it this way: you're already doing what you most love to do (your art). You love what you do, right? So, you're on the right path. You're on your way there.

I don't know if I love it. I did it because that's what people said I was good at. I don't want to be trapped into doing what others think I should do because they can't be bothered to see what else I am.

Fifth House Sun · #23 08-23-2012, 11:14 PM

http://youtu.be/aq-CKdT6IG4

Lazy Cat · #24 08-24-2012, 01:23 PM

What do you really like to do, then, Prominent? Maybe you should try other things, maybe you still haven't found the right path after all.

I wish I could help you, but I don't know how...

sequestra · #25 08-24-2012, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prominent

I don't know if I love it. I did it because that's what people said I was good at. I don't want to be trapped into doing what others think I should do because they can't be bothered to see what else I am.

Dude, then that is up to you. I know you're a pisces, but you have it in you to stop playing the victim. Be grateful that you have the artistic gift that you do, but you really don't have to pursue it if it isn't what you want to be doing. I was a great secretary, but I'll be ****** if I'm doing that for the rest of my life. Have you ever considered any of the caring professions?