Venus square Saturn

[Love2Know]

You sound pretty negative, negative people alone turn me off and make me avoid them.

[spacecadet]

Midnight sun. I hear you and feel your pain. I've felt the same frustration and despair. Its 4 years since I started this post and not a lots changed really. I still haven't met the love of my life. Relationships have not suddenly become easy. I'm 35 now and I do feel progressively more bitter, as I watch my friends build homes and families and plans for the future.

I'm so glad people are still adding to this discussion. It reminds me that most of my problems are simply this aspect! I just picked up the Liz Greene book as I was looking at the difference between the opposition and the square (she doesn't say much on that). Her text sets out the whole problem. I'm not sure what work you have been doing Midnight Sun, but I think that if we are to make any progress here we have to be doing deep deep deep level work on the lack of nurturing/love/affection, abandonment, neglect we felt in childhood and also looking to embrace our own femininity more. I think that really, all the work on myself I have been doping is just putting a plaster on the top and not really dealing with the wounds. I did do some psychotherapy but that just bored me without the astrological perspective.

So, you say its not about self esteem/self love but I disagree. Saturn and venus....what else could it be? I think its possible to do and say all the right things (i.e. being self confident) but its the core beliefs and expectations underneath which are important.

I remember once, someone said to me....its simple, you just have to learn to lighten up around relationships.

OMG! : S

[Love2Know]

Originally Posted by spacecadet

Midnight sun. I hear you and feel your pain. I've felt the same frustration and despair. Its 4 years since I started this post and not a lots changed really. I still haven't met the love of my life. Relationships have not suddenly become easy. I'm 35 now and I do feel progressively more bitter, as I watch my friends build homes and families and plans for the future.

I'm so glad people are still adding to this discussion. It reminds me that most of my problems are simply this aspect! I just picked up the Liz Greene book as I was looking at the difference between the opposition and the square (she doesn't say much on that). Her text sets out the whole problem. I'm not sure what work you have been doing Midnight Sun, but I think that if we are to make any progress here we have to be doing deep deep deep level work on the lack of nurturing/love/affection, abandonment, neglect we felt in childhood and also looking to embrace our own femininity more. I think that really, all the work on myself I have been doping is just putting a plaster on the top and not really dealing with the wounds. I did do some psychotherapy but that just bored me without the astrological perspective.

So, you say its not about self esteem/self love but I disagree. Saturn and venus....what else could it be? I think its possible to do and say all the right things (i.e. being self confident) but its the core beliefs and expectations underneath which are important.

I remember once, someone said to me....its simple, you just have to learn to lighten up around relationships.

OMG! : S

Wow I have non of these issues, not more than anyone else. I mean I can be kinda intense but I have seen worse without this aspect./ I was never abandoned.

[midnight sun]

Originally Posted by Love2Know

You sound pretty negative, negative people alone turn me off and make me avoid them.

I sound negative now, this year. Because my last effort came to nothing. And it was a hard work with karma.

But before it, I was not negative. I had lots of friends, I trusted myself, I loved myself, I had plans for the future, was smiling and funny person. Even if I feel depressed, I never show it people. But nothing changed. People left me, and ran away from me. This is a curse I'm sure. And there is no way out of it. I'm not thinking to try again.

[midnight sun]

Originally Posted by spacecadet

Midnight sun. I hear you and feel your pain. I've felt the same frustration and despair. Its 4 years since I started this post and not a lots changed really. I still haven't met the love of my life. Relationships have not suddenly become easy. I'm 35 now and I do feel progressively more bitter, as I watch my friends build homes and families and plans for the future.

I'm so glad people are still adding to this discussion. It reminds me that most of my problems are simply this aspect! I just picked up the Liz Greene book as I was looking at the difference between the opposition and the square (she doesn't say much on that). Her text sets out the whole problem. I'm not sure what work you have been doing Midnight Sun, but I think that if we are to make any progress here we have to be doing deep deep deep level work on the lack of nurturing/love/affection, abandonment, neglect we felt in childhood and also looking to embrace our own femininity more. I think that really, all the work on myself I have been doping is just putting a plaster on the top and not really dealing with the wounds. I did do some psychotherapy but that just bored me without the astrological perspective.

So, you say its not about self esteem/self love but I disagree. Saturn and venus....what else could it be? I think its possible to do and say all the right things (i.e. being self confident) but its the core beliefs and expectations underneath which are important.

I remember once, someone said to me....its simple, you just have to learn to lighten up around relationships.

OMG! : S

It doesn't change if you're more feminine. Of course I attract some men but they are always wrong people, always. Drug addict, have a girlfriend, only thinks to have sex, etc. They always have a wrong side which will hurt you. This is the aspect of being hurt constantly. The men I fell in love were kind of not showing me interest and I was the one who was running after them all the time. This situation hurts my pride so much that now I can wait forever if a man doesn't move his *** for me. This is the only thing I've learnt but still nothing changed. Because if I don't make any move, they never make a move.

Now I really understand that I'm not as valuable as other women because a man will never fall in love with me and do something to win and make me happy. And I won't do it for any man, too. Because I have a huge rage now. As I said before if Saturn teaches something, this is fear and rage. Because I earn these two after trying many years.

[Love2Know]

Originally Posted by midnight sun

It doesn't change if you're more feminine. Of course I attract some men but they are always wrong people, always. Drug addict, have a girlfriend, only thinks to have sex, etc. They always have a wrong side which will hurt you. This is the aspect of being hurt constantly. The men I fell in love were kind of not showing me interest and I was the one who was running after them all the time. This situation hurts my pride so much that now I can wait forever if a man doesn't move his *** for me. This is the only thing I've learnt but still nothing changed. Because if I don't make any move, they never make a move.

Now I really understand that I'm not as valuable as other women because a man will never fall in love with me and do something to win and make me happy. And I won't do it for any man, too. Because I have a huge rage now. As I said before if Saturn teaches something, this is fear and rage. Because I earn these two after trying many years.

Hmm I dunno I was like that a bit as a teen, but my leo venus is too hopelessly romantic and I have a short attention span, so when I am knocked down I sulk if I will get some delicious pity lol if no one is looking I just shrug and move on. Or else I would get bored...... ????? Being down can only really be amusing or intense for a short time till I get bored with myself and restless and need to find something else to do. I have this aspect but the signs get along I feel like it has to do with my slightly immature attitude sometimes more than other people. Other people can suck or be great and are usually very bias and sometimes full of it, but its more important to focus and make peace with yourself because you cant really escape yourself. You should be able to be your own bestfriend lol.

[midnight sun]

Originally Posted by Love2Know

Hmm I dunno I was like that a bit as a teen, but my leo venus is too hopelessly romantic and I have a short attention span, so when I am knocked down I sulk if I will get some delicious pity lol if no one is looking I just shrug and move on. Or else I would get bored...... ????? Being down can only really be amusing or intense for a short time till I get bored with myself and restless and need to find something else to do. I have this aspect but the signs get along I feel like it has to do with my slightly immature attitude sometimes more than other people. Other people can suck or be great and are usually very bias and sometimes full of it, but its more important to focus and make peace with yourself because you cant really escape yourself. You should be able to be your own bestfriend lol.

I am bored, too and I turned my attention to other things I enjoy in life.

I think Saturn-Venus aspects are also about creativity, right? We can also talk about how it effects our creative life? For example, I am afraid to create even when I am by myself. I never like things I create. So I can't show myself like other people. This is the aspect of losing forever...It's like living in a jail without any help. Because I need to express myself through creativity but I'm afraid to do it. I force myself but it feels like I'm forcing a locked box for opening.

[Love2Know]

Originally Posted by midnight sun

I am bored, too and I turned my attention to other things I enjoy in life.

I think Saturn-Venus aspects are also about creativity, right? We can also talk about how it effects our creative life? For example, I am afraid to create even when I am by myself. I never like things I create. So I can't show myself like other people. This is the aspect of losing forever...It's like living in a jail without any help. Because I need to express myself through creativity but I'm afraid to do it. I force myself but it feels like I'm forcing a locked box for opening.

Yeah but it also depends on other aspects within the chart, I have a jun trine sun and I always get a lot of help from people.. So I dunno I also like a lot of encouragement. Also look at the signs in hard aspect as well as their houses and other aspects those signs are in. I do not think this 1 aspect is so horrible as people may believe. Charts can also balance themselves out, or more specifically we can balance ourselves out and our greatest weakness can become our greatest strength.

[midnight sun]

Originally Posted by Love2Know

Yeah but it also depends on other aspects within the chart, I have a jun trine sun and I always get a lot of help from people.. So I dunno I also like a lot of encouragement. Also look at the signs in hard aspect as well as their houses and other aspects those signs are in. I do not think this 1 aspect is so horrible as people may believe. Charts can also balance themselves out, or more specifically we can balance ourselves out and our greatest weakness can become our greatest strength.

Mine is balanced with Mercury conj. MC. It makes a triangle of sextiles to Saturn-Venus-Jupiter triangle. I mean there are two triangles. One is bad, one is good. Probably I have to improve the good one for feeling the other's worst sides. I feel it inherently, I feel if I have good career which makes me happy and satisfied, I will feel the pain of others lesser than before. You're right, we need to find the balance point.

[Love2Know]

Originally Posted by midnight sun

Mine is balanced with Mercury conj. MC. It makes a triangle of sextiles to Saturn-Venus-Jupiter triangle. I mean there are two triangles. One is bad, one is good. Probably I have to improve the good one for feeling the other's worst sides. I feel it inherently, I feel if I have good career which makes me happy and satisfied, I will feel the pain of others lesser than before. You're right, we need to find the balance point.

<33333333 exactly

[spacecadet]

you cant generalise about a person from this one aspect. Love2Know - you're venus is in a strong position (conj asc) so you're gonna have a completely different experience to a woman whose venus is afflicted.

[may28gemini]

ok... a lot of people have posted in this thread. perhaps my take on it may echo some other people's but might as well.

now you said you have scorpio venus... well, yikes. no wonder there's a ton of insecurities. scorpio venus is the stalker, possessive venus that wants to own every inch of their mate for eternity. having leo saturn doesn't help either as from what i understand, saturn loves wreaking havoc in leo. the leo saturn generation has insecurities about NOT having control over others. i also find that people w natal venus square saturn tend to be very unaccepting and nitpicky about their mates' occupation. it's like no matter what the other person does, it's not good enough, it's never good enough. it's like having the inability to not get over minor details about the mate's imperfections and letting it fester until everything explodes into smithereens. i've also noticed women with this aspect tend to not love men who take care of them and completely mistake the men's caring for manipulation or control. i don't know if that's you, but i have a few friends with this particular aspect and it's been a pattern of such behavior.

i love saturn, i wouldn't ever blame saturn for causing anything that would REALISTICALLY flop from the get go. it's your venus that's the downer. try doing things to resolve your venus issues.

is there a solution to all this? yes, of course. for someone with jupiter and saturn conj asc... i will say "just let it go." stop allowing the minor little imperfects grow into flesh eating viruses. stop holding onto past inflictions and allowing that to cloud the present conditions and further delaying possible future progress. how do you do that? with practice, slowly, gradually, and over time, it will get less and less tense. if you're going to keep holding onto the past like it happened yesterday, well, there's no hope for anything better.

[midnight sun]

But if we live the same "negative" thing over and over, how can we have hope for the future? We need to remember the past for proctecting ourselves. Because there is not just one or two mistakes in the past, my whole past is a mistake. I have to remember them everyday. When I said I've changed and looked positive to life, the same things began to happen again. That's a rule.

But there must be a "fear point" I believe. Once I saw a dream about a fear circle. I was going in a bus and found a nice, original book called "human design"(it's a sembolic one), I was very excited with it. But then, the bus changed its way to an unknown road and I feared so went down from the bus. I walked into a place which I knew very well before but a spider hung on to my leg. (which is a symbol of depression for me) I hardly threw it.

So this dream showed me the point which the repetation circle begins. And I have a feeling that this fear point is "being rejected" for the Saturn-Venus people.

[Love2Know]

Originally Posted by midnight sun

But if we live the same "negative" thing over and over, how can we have hope for the future? We need to remember the past for proctecting ourselves. Because there is not just one or two mistakes in the past, my whole past is a mistake. I have to remember them everyday. When I said I've changed and looked positive to life, the same things began to happen again. That's a rule.

But there must be a "fear point" I believe. Once I saw a dream about a fear circle. I was going in a bus and found a nice, original book called "human design"(it's a sembolic one), I was very excited with it. But then, the bus changed its way to an unknown road and I feared so went down from the bus. I walked into a place which I knew very well before but a spider hung on to my leg. (which is a symbol of depression for me) I hardly threw it.

So this dream showed me the point which the repetation circle begins. And I have a feeling that this fear point is "being rejected" for the Saturn-Venus people.

d
Yeah I dunno I don't mind a little rejection. People always told me I was very good at messing with guys, you can get them to be thinking of you is the first step. Lollll Well I do have this aspect it is just in between sag and leo, so the signs are in harmony. Also my saturn is retrograde that could make a difference maybe! I am not very nit picky not openly. Also I tell myself to shut up when I am this way mentally. I am more harsh on myself than others. Though, I guess its the venus conjunct asc moon which makes me appear very pleasant and laid back to others. I can be a little stress ball inside, have a bit of a bad temper but I guess only people very very close to me would see this but not everyone would agree I do. Yeah I dunno its not that bad my nit pickyness, I am not a very judgmental nor superficial person. I am actually very accepting unless I sense bad intentions or foul pay. Rejection, never stopped me from pressing on. Regret is a waste of time as well, plus I have too much A D D to actually regret, I have a bad memory for a cancer!!!!!! I can not even remember my families actual birthdays its so bad. What was my point.... OH YEAH this aspect is not a curse! Plus, if I have it in my chart it is prob kinda good BAHAHA Though, I do have this fear of general safety for people I love and I make my friends or loved ones call and text me after driving home at night or walking alone or things I find sketchy. I am very watchful of people and their well beings. Could this be part of this aspect? I have made my friends give me info on new guys they started to date, like their address and tell them to ask about their parents and stuff. That could also be a weird Cancerian thing. I may have been nit picky with the guys my friends may date if I get bad gut feelings.. but overall most of the bfs I had always said I was very pleasant and accepting and made them feel so confident cuz I am very supportive. Except for like one.

Oh yeah though I am veryyyy critical of the way I look, always have been. I gain weight easily.... with pie and cake) and I hateeeeeeeee when people become too demanding in relationships worst! I feel my heart break plus I do attract very cap types. I attract very ambitious people, I am very laid back go figure!

[soile]

Hi!
Like story of my life really. I do have Saturn square sun, Venus and
Neptune. Depressed very often. Don´t consider myself good
enough. Sometimes life seems so hard...trying to cope!

ok, I reread this thread 4 times. Great insights You gave Me Mates
Here is My Chart
with Love
SOILE

Originally Posted by spacecadet

hi I have just joined this site and have spent the evening avidly reading through many of the wonderful threads on the site. I wonder if I could reopen the discussion about Venus square Saturn. After many years of self analysis and healing I have returned to this placement with an awareness that it is at the crux of every problem I have. I am interested to hear how others with this placement have worked through it or transformed its action in their lives.
My Saturn is in Leo 2nd square Venus Scorpio end of 4th (I interpret as 5th).
ultimately my astrological map, my childhood and the life I have since created have held an ongoing theme of lonliness, sadness and that I am never going to be good enough or lovable. In relationships thisbrings out a needy, mistrustful, over defensive streak. There are positive aspects to my self and my life but this underlying theme has devastated my intimate relationships and interferes with my ability to consciously create the life I desire. Neptune is currently squaring my Venus and opposing my Saturn, activating the placement in my awareness but also confusing me. I know this issue is about self worth but I was raised within a family that was disfunctional, touch was near enough banned, i was a lonely only child, dad left one day and never heard from him again, i never felt loved and the message I got was 'do better'. The message i took from all this wss 'i'm not good enough'. If i have never perceived that i am truly loved (lovable) how can I ever truly know what it is to love myself? I thought I did love myself but my previous relationships have shown me that I'm still amillion miles of target. My esteem crashes in a relationship because i dont belive they love me. I compare myself to everyone around and feel inferior next to them, then i mistrust him thinking he is after every other woman. Its so unhealthy I know but there seems to be nothing I can do about it save taking my boyfriend to an island uninhabited by other women!!
This isn't a 'therapy' website but I would really appreciate hearing positive ways of coping with this extremly difficult aspect. How many of you are in loving healthy relationships? If you felt like this before, what did you do to improve your selfesteem? (PLs excuse any poor readability as I have typed this MSG on my phone and can't see what I'm writing!)
spacecadet