How would you deal with this?
I have my mercury in Leo in the 12th house at 25'58. It conjuncts my ascendant which is at 21'20 in Leo. Mercury squares my saturn (21'29 scorpio) which is in the 3rd house. That same saturn conjuncts my SOUTH NODE (14'38 scorpio) which is also in my 3rd house. Also, mercury very widely trines neptune (01'23 capricorn) in 5th and mercury also trines moon (18'18 sagittarius) which is in my 4th house conjunct uranus (14'14 sagitarius). Most of my life has been full of confusion, literally!!! From what I can remember in school if I had to study for something then I would get alright test scores but when I just chill and relax as my normal Leonian self, I would get straight A's even without ever studying anything. I would normally just remember things I heard in class or from what I saw in the old text books of my 10 year older brother because I had a need to know everything then. Sometimes I get so confused that I start sweating from the nerves I get when feeling ashamed of the fact that I can't comprehend a simple sentence as much as I feel so intrigued by the story, I get usually get lost before the convo starts. Then there are times when I don't have to listen to a full sentence to understand what people are saying. You just have to say one word, sometimes not the full word and ill be able to answer the full question you had in mind. Then when I wake up the next morning, I can actually feel how all that intellectual abilities a had faded but as much I try to hold onto it, something or someone always steals my mind away and when I finally realize I'm lost its too late. I don't want to get into much detail about this because I'm feeling too depressed from reminding myself of these red robots always finding a way in my way. Please, tell me if there's a cure for this might also be my first and last...
Thanks in advance